Saturday, December 26, 2009

El Nino, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

We are buried in about 18" of emeffing snow right now. If I wanted to live in Buffalo, I'd move there. El Nino, you're late again.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Where's Finding Nemo????

Do you like movies? I do. There's nothing better than being in a theater watching a good one. Instead of ranting about traitorous pricks like Rep. Parker Griffith (D-Ala) who became (R-AL) let's talk movies. It's the end of the decade and in the tradition of every other egomaniac, here are my Top 10 favorite Movies of the decade 2000-2009.

10) Zodiac- I'll never hear Donovan's Hurdy Gurdy Man the same again after this David Fincher offering of 2007. Robert Downey Jr. and Jake Gyllenhall star in this story of the Zodiac murders that took place in the Bay Area back in the 1960's and 70's. It's long, it's mysterious and it's a helluva ride.

9)Half Nelson (2006)- Starring Ryan Gosling as a cool teacher in Brooklyn who inspires his adolescent students to care about learning and the future. Yet, he has a secret most of his kids know all too well. Directed by Ryan Fleck and also starring Shareeka Epps as his favorite student, this little movie is so good and has perhaps the decade's most heartbreaking scene when Epps discovers Gosling's secret. Get it.

8) Oh Brother Where Art Thou? (2000)- The Coens could really BE my top 10 but of all the great work they did, I especially liked this one starring George Clooney, John Turturro and Tim Blake Nelson is retelling of Homer's the Odyssey. The dancing Klansmen scene, right out of the Wizard of Oz, is good enough to vault it over No Country For Old Men.

7) Pan's Labyrinth (2006)- I know, it's foreign and you have to read. But give this Gillermo Del Toro film a chance. It's a kid's movie not for kids. It's about a child in miserable conditions during the Spanish Civil War who invents a fantasy world to live in. Or is it real? Watch it, it's either the most depressing movie ever or the most optimistic one ever. It all depends on your point of view.

6) Brokeback Mountain (2005)- this is a love story, period. Once you get over the giggles as Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger kiss and embrace and well you know, this story of unrequited love could involve any two human beings. It gets better each time you watch. It's heartbreaking. Really. Get over the doubts and let people be who they are.

5) About Schmidt (2002)- this Alexander Payne flick starring Jack Nicholson hit home with so many people. Many didn't like it's honesty, others saw the truth of life in the Midwest. Nevertheless, it put "Dear N'dugu" into the language.

4) Million Dollar Baby (2004)- Clint Eastwood is 79. His films get better and better while other directors lose their edge with age. Clint, quite frankly, like the Coens, could BE my Top 10 also. But Million Dollar Baby is perhaps a perfect film. From the acting to the plot to the timing it flows as smoothly as anything I've ever seen. Keep it up, Clint.

3) Traffic (2000) - Stephen Soderbergh is really hit (Out of Sight, Traffic, The Limey) or miss (Oceans Whatever, Erin Brockovich) but Traffic, an examination of the illegal drug trade, its hypocrisy, its danger, its effects on a variety of characters was a masterpiece that featured a deNiro-like performance by Benicio Del Toro as an honest Mexican police officer. It is a fascinating look (catch the sun drenched look) at a "war" we will never win.

2) The Lord of The Rings Trilogy (2001 2002 2003)- I am no sci-fi geek. I am no wizards and dragons guy. This Peter Jackson trilogy I could sit down on a Saturday morning and watch all 9 hours of it without one moment of boredom. I haven't done that yet but the Godfather movies are the only other trilogy I can say that about. I cannot explain it, my geekiness that is, but these movies are what movies are meant to be.

1) There Will Be Blood (2007)- Daniel Day Lewis is maybe the finest actor on the planet. His Daniel Plainview, in full John Huston voice, is one of the most fascinating characters ever on film He is a total prick from beginning to end, yet you can't take your eyes off him. He's cruel, he's a liar, he's greedy and eventually he's a killer. This movie, like Citizen Kane or The Godfather tells the story of American history. Paul Thomas Anderson may have stumbled into legend with this one. He can send a thank you note to Daniel Plainview, every bit as interesting as Charles Foster Kane or Vito Corleone.

That's it. There's others that would make honorable mention like No Country For Old Men, The Lives of Others, The Reader, United 93, Letters From Iwo Jima, Almost Famous, Donnie Darko,Whale Rider, The Quiet American, Mystic River, Gran Torino, The Assassination of Jesse James, The Hangover, and who knows what else.

Have a great holiday season.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Birthday To Max!

Thirteen years ago today I was drunk watching the 49ers play the Lions. Then Max was born. See, good things can happen when you're plowed. Happy 13th to the teen called Max. We love you.

Friday, December 18, 2009

There Is No Place Like Nebraska! Except Wyoming, South Dakota, Kansas, Etc...

I have been away. Bad month. Bad memories. Sick and tired of politics and politicians and lying ads on TV. But after this week, I have to come back to say I am embarrassed to say I live here and by the representatives the people of this state send to Washington D.C. You all know what a complete tool I think Earl Benjamin Nelson is (see two posts back).This two bit pile of dog dung is standing center stage getting his ass kissed by prissy little Democrats too afraid to stand up for anything. Earl and Lieberman have taken control of the party by extortion and by spite. The Democrats are standing for this? Wake the eff up! Earl Ben Nelson is a spineless, valueless, soulless former insurance company president. Of course he's in the industry's pocket. Jesus Christ, what the hell else do you idiots need to know?
Enough about that smelly stuff I just stepped in. The other Senator, the junior Senator from Nebraska , one Mike Johanns, has given the Nebraska the exacta in the Moron Derby this week. After right wing bloggers pulled some turds out of their ass that Barack Obama threatened Earl with closing Offutt Air Force Base if he didn't come aboard on health care, and Earl mustered up enough integrity to deny it, and Barack Obama sniffed it away, Senator Mike Johanns said hey that's enough for me to not buy it, but let's investigate it with Senate hearings anyway. 19 other Republican morons signed on and we have our story. Obama threatened Nelson. It's fact now. The teabaggers believe it. The stupid people who stand in line for hours to buy a book and a picture from a snake oil saleswoman believe it. Johanns needs to be ashamed of himself.
Mike Johanns is a former mayor of Lincoln. A former Democrat. A former Governor of Nebraska, just like Earl. Now he's our junior Senator. Why? I have no idea. He's as boring as the Husker offense. He has the personality of your average turtle at the zoo. He accomplished absolutely nothing in his reign of sleepwalking. Yet, like Earl, he's the perfect Nebraska politician. He does nothing. Zilch. The people love it. Nothing. Rock the boat and you are outta here. Just like the state, flat and long and full of emptiness. That is Earl Ben Nelson and Mike Johanns.
Say have you heard which state has a worse Senator than Earl Benjamin Nelson? You got it. Nebraska!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

It's Deja Vu All Over Again!

Barack Obama will announce this evening at West Point that a lot of those young men and women in attendance will get to go fight somebody over in Afghanistan. The "somebody" is in question since there's just a few hundred, if that, Al Quaeda guys swinging on monkey bars there. The Taliban? Is that the somebody? Why? The Taliban is never going away. We can be there a hundred years, and the Taliban will still be there. Kind of like the Viet Cong would have never gone away in Vietnam.

This war started back in 2001 as a response to the Taliban's refusal to stop harboring terrorists. The Taliban government went away very quickly as did the terrorists who scattered into Pakistan. A corrupt former oil executive named Hamid Karzai was installed as head of a corrupt government. Does this sound familiar? American soldiers fighting for a corrupt foreign government because American politicians, safe in their gated bunkers, tell them that America isn't safe without a stable Afghan government. This is the same bullshit we heard in 1964. This is the same Bush-it we heard in 2001. Well it's not 2001 anymore. That time has passed. The revenge has been had. 3,000 people died on 9/11/01. How many more must we kill before the bloodlust tapers off? Obama is making a huge mistake.

As for General Stanley McCrystal's request for 40,000 more troops? Who cares what he thinks? This is the man who orchestrated the cover up of the Pat Tillman murder. This is the man whose background lies in so-called Black Ops. Secrecy and lies. Perfect! Yeah ,let him lead the effort in Afghanistan. The truth is a pile of quicksand and Barack Obama is stepping right in it.

If you don't care about American lives, or you still want to kill Afghan civilians, or if Dick Cheney's venom still makes you drool, note this. It will cost $1 million per soldier to get them into Afghanistan. I know teabaggers are very concerned about government spending. How about them apples? That's $30 billion dollars. Thirty Billion at least. On top of the trillion already spent. We all know how concerned you folks are about health care costs. Put that in your teapot and brew it.

Monday, November 23, 2009

My Name Is Earl!

Standing above are two of the biggest weasels in American politics. Two extortionists attempting to hold the American people down as the insurance industry kicks them in the head. One is Joe Lieberman, my feelings well known about that turncoat schlep, the other is my senior Senator from Nebraska, Earl Benjamin Nelson. Let me tell you all about Earl.

Earl graduated law school back in 1970 and was promptly hired by Central States Insurance as an assistant counsel. Earl's role model, alleged Democrat James Exon, governor of Nebraska at the time, appointed Earl state insurance commissioner back in 1975. Appointing an insurance counsel to oversee the industry is like appointing Ann Coulter to overlook the booze and cigarette industry. Earl eventually got tired of it and went back to become president of Central States.

In 1990 Earl ran for Governor of Nebraska in the Democratic primary. He won by two votes. He later beat the incumbent Republican, Kay Orr, by out Republicanning her. I did not vote for Gentle Ben. Too right wing for me. He ran for re-election in 1994 against a Republican pro-choicer. What? Can Earl's life get any easier? he won. I voted Republican for one of the every few times in my life.

In 1996, Earl got a bit of an ego and ran for the United States Senate. He got his Fred Flintstone hair handed to him by Chuck Hagel. I voted Republican again. By the way, Chuck Hagel, a fine human being, positively hates Earl Benjamin Nelson.

While Governor, Earl opted out of an agreement to build a low level nuclear waste dump in a county of about 60 people up north. The agreement had been made during a previous administration and Earl reneged on the deal. The state was sued and lost $150 million in a settlement. Thanks, Earl. Some fiscal conservative. Earl also whacked three inmates while governor. The first three zapped in the chair since Charlie Starkweather back in 1959. Hey, he's no GW, but in a state of 1.5 million, that's a lot. Trust me, he lost no sleep over this.

Earl couldn't run again for Governor in 1998, so he went back to the insurance bidness. Then when Bob Kerrey decided he'd had enough of the Senate, Earl was right there to take advantage. He ran against a Republican wingnut, Attorney General Don Stenberg. Stenberg had embarrassed the state numerous times by getting sent home from the United States Supreme Court hat in hand, with a kick me sign stuck on his back. Earl spent twice as much as his opponent and won by less than 2 percent. I left the ballot blank. Chuck Hagel cringed at the sight of Earl showing up in DC.

In 2006, Earl lucked out again when his main rival, Republican Governor Mike Johanns, was appointed Sec of Agriculture by Bush. Some think Bush was looking out for his buddy, "Nellie". So Earl ran against a very rich, bald guy named Pete Ricketts. Ricketts seemed to think spending Daddy's fortune like Nick Cage and running ads where his grandma told him to put his hat on when he went outside would beat Earl. Ha!. Earl and his helmet hair destroyed Ricketts' bald head and Ricketts was forced to go buy the Chicago Cubs to feel important. I left the ballot blank again.

Earl cares about two things. Abortion and getting re-elected. He kowtows to the pro-life crowd unlike any politician I've ever seen. He endorses Obama, then does everything in his power to keep him from succeeding. Earl Benjamin Nelson is a opportunistic douche-bag, just like his buddy, Lieberman. Pay no attention to this DINO. He is squarely in the insurance industry's pocket. In fact, they lined his pocket in the first place. Trusting this man to do the right thing is useless. He doesn't brush his Blagojevich Hair without realizing the political consequences. He is a tool.

Just remember, the next time you see the press sucking up to Senator Ben Nelson (D-Ne), his name is really Earl.

Friday, November 20, 2009

I'd Poke You In The Chest If I Could Walk Over There!

A few years back here at the University of Nebraska, an egomaniac athletic director named Steve Pederson got all full of himself and fired a diminutive, successful football coach named Frank Solich for reasons only Pederson knows. Well it's deja vu all over again in Lawrence, Kansas where an egomanicac athletic director is trying to fire a really big, successful football coach named Mark Mangino. Hey Kansas, don't go down that road or you'll be stuck with your own version of "The Callahan Years'.

This brings me to the 450 lb. football coach in the room. Being fat. I've been fat, I've been not fat, I've been skinny. Currently I am really tubby but trying to be better and reduce to single seat on the airplane status. In case the picture doesn't scream the obvious at you, Mark Mangino is really fat. Mangino hasn't been any smaller than that in the many years he's coached at Kansas. He makes over a million dollars per year, yet sees nothing wrong about his girth or he'd spend a bit of that money to get healthy. Mangino is 53 years old. He is going to drop dead sooner than necessary lugging that weight around. Personally, I don't laugh at him like most people. I am concerned for him.

Mark Mangino is the best football coach in the Big 12 conference, in my opinion. He is a master strategist and gets more out of what he has to work with than anybody. There is no reason to fire this guy. True, Kansas is losing right now (5-5) but it's not Mangino's fault. Blame the Big 12 schedule makers who make KU play Oklahoma, Texas and Texas Tech in the same year all the time. So why is Mangino on the hot seat? He poked a player in the chest with his finger? He yelled at a player? He swears? He is a big meanie? I say a lot of it is because of his size. A big, gruff Italian guy waddling along the sideline isn't the image KU wants. KU wants the trim, golf pro looking guy. The problem is they've had a LOT of those guys scratching their visor-wearing heads over the years and they all lost a lot. Mangino wins. Period.

Kansas athletic director Steve Pederson, uhhhhhhhh, Lew Perkins is setting Mangino up to lose this battle. Former KU players, recruited by Perkins, are coming out of the woodwork to say Mangino hollered at them and made them cry. It's a setup to get rid of the fat man. As a fellow fat guy, I'm in Mangino's corner. But c'mon Mark, at least try to grab a salad every now and then.

Now I am off to watch our own skinnier, whacko Italian football coach, Bo Pelini. scream and holler and poke guys in the chest and make them cry. The difference is Pelini is winning. And he weighs about my size less than Mangino.

Monday, November 16, 2009

I Want My Hour Back!

Oprah vs. Bible Spice

4:09- what's up with Northern Overexposure's Phil Spector-like hair?

4:10- whining about double standard on her kids. Says "right on" to Oprah thinking it's 1973 and she's talking to Angela Davis.

4:14-Oprah says she was at "another convention" and Caribou Barbie flashes that Miss Wasilla smile

4:15- says "double standard" again

4:19- sorry I drifted off before being awakened by nails on blackboard voice

4:20- well off white women in audience politely applaud a break

4:25- the Pale Alaskan calls Katie Couric "badgering". What would she think of Sam Donaldson?

4:26- says "right on" again. Once again, you are not talking to Pam Grier

4:27- Oprah replays Couric interview. Jesus, Miss Moosejaw really is stupid.

4:29- Track's Ma was "annoyed" at Katie Couric and that's why she acted like Heidi from the Hills

4:30-Trigger's mommy is painting herself into a corner on considering a choice to have abortion. a choice she wants to deny others, Oprah sits there like a lump

4:36- Levi's almost mother-in-law discusses Levi with a lame "Johnny Hollywood" remark and claims he's doing "porn" . My brain is about to melt

4:38- Oprah asks her if she's "pissed" at Levi's statements concerning what a horrible human being she is. My ADHD kicks in. I have no idea what she said

4:45- Why am I watching this? Everybody, except horny white male conservatives, know she's a total fraud

4:46- Piper dresses up for Halloween as a "snow machine" driver. I knew I should have dressed up like my Dad at Halloween, one of the cast of Mad Men

4:47- Wasilla Whackjob tries too hard to convince us of her strong marriage

4:50- McCain wouldn't let me speak on election night. She is "disappointed". Nobody else is

4:52- Lisa Loopner drawls out "Tawwwwwwd". I want Bill Murray to give her a noogie

4:53- Obama's "caaaaaamp" caused her to quit the Governor's job? She's tap dancing like Shirley Temple.

4:54- Papa Heath says she's "reloading" not "retreating".

4:55- running for Pres "nawt on my radar screen".

..............had an involuntary jerk of right hand and it turned channel to Bonnie Hunt.

I'm No Jay Leno but Come On!

No wonder the Catholic church is so cranky. They're now paying out money for adult crimes. Why couldn't he have been kidnapped by a band of KILFs?

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Can You Play Dancing With Myself?

Now that I've stopped laughing. Carrie Prejean, shown above showing the press how big she originally wanted them, sues the Miss California Pageant for whatever it is she sued for. The negotiations turned ugly when Miss Opposite Marriage was shown a sex tape. "That's disgusting" she allegedly proclaimed. At this point, the camera pulls back to show Carrie going solo. Homer Simpson never went "D'OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" that fast. The lawsuit was dropped. I have no idea if the story played out that way. I just choose to believe it.

Now to start cackling again.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Grand Old Party Orgy?

1)For two days now conservatives have been celebrating their victories on Tuesday with crazy behavior. Calm down there, you won a Governor's chair in Virginia with a misogynistic, racist, religious nutjob. Thanks to the fact that under 30's stayed home and slept it off and the teabaggers, the over 60's ,went to the polls to support the candidate who thinks women need to stay home, the gays need to quit being gay, the birth control is the same as abortion, and rapists who impregnate their victims have a right to have their rape baby visit them in prison. Oh yeah, put this guy on the ticket with Bible Spice in 2012. The teabaggers also threw out the rich governor in New Jersey for a fat guy named Christie. Rich guys aren't popular nowadays with the teabaggers, unless they are talking out of that there magic box. By the way, teabaggers, you lost a House seat in New York that Republicans had held since the Whigs were still around, in the 19th century, back where most of your feeble minds are.

2) The shooting at Fort Hood that killed 13 and wounded another 30 by another loner with a gun is so American, so should I say, normal, nobody is even shocked. The fact this shooter has an Islamic name is all that matters. The furious typing on internets message boards is keeping me awake. Have fun with this one, folks. The fact that American soldiers are massacred in America, and the Taliban was nowhere near Fort Hood is the sad fact. Not that this loser has a funny name.

3) Michelle Bachman is a goddamned danger to this nation. How the people in her district keep sending this shrieking trollop back to Washington is one of nature's mysteries. Her screeching about revolution in front of the teabaggers today is a disgrace. Stop her, 6th District of Minnesota. Keep the tapes, play them to death and send this proud graduate of Oral Roberts back to doing whatever the hell she did (I refuse to believe she was a tax attorney) before she began her reign of error. But as long as Fox News, and Sean Hannity's lust still exist, we can't get rid of her yet.

4) Rooting for the New York Yankees is like rooting for the house at a casino, rooting for the insurance company to deny your health care, rooting for Wall Street, rooting for polluters or rooting for Tiger Woods. As you know, the evil empire won it's 27th World Series on Wednesday night. Thanks a lot to Brad Lidge. You suck worse than Mitch Williams.

5) John Boehner's name is pronounced "Boner". Remember when two vowels do the walking, the first one does the talking. Boner. No wonder he gets drunk and cries a lot. What are you laughing about over there, Dick Armey? Republicans have really appropriate names sometimes.

6) Gay folks have to stop wasting their time with these initiatives that keep getting voted down by religious fanatics. Religion is a mental illness. The only cure is reason and sanity. Mobs just encourage more mental illness. The only way to get this solved is through the courts. Fair-minded judges can see the obvious that mental deficients can't see. Can you imagine if we let Mississippians vote on anything important back in the 60's? The unfortunate thing is the amount of opposition gays face from blacks and hispanics. Once again, religion, well you know. Finally, will somebody please get the guts to yank the Roman Catholic Church's tax exemption? This isn't a religion any longer, it's a fucking country club cult run by men in funny hats and followed by brainwashed zombies. I was indoctrinated by these bastards for years, but in true Monty Python fashion, "I got better". So can you.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Traitor Joe Is A Schmo And Must Go!

A while back, after one Joe Lieberman (I-CT) had campaigned with McCain and the Alaska nitwit against Barack Obama and then came back to the Senate, hat in hand, ready to sit back down and resume his Senate duties without penalty from ruling Democrats, Obama said ahh let it go. Let Joe keep his stuff. I agreed with Obama. I thought Joe was salvageable. WELL I WAS WRONG AND SO WAS OBAMA! Joe Lieberman is a putz. He's a tool of Aetna and his honey Haddasah is a tool of the pharmaceutical industry. How could I be so blind?

It's time to tell Joe Lieberman to go back to the bottom where he belongs and become the "independent" schmo he is. Kick this turncoat shtick drek out of the caucus and strip him of all of his committee seats. Let the Republicans have him. He may be too spineless for them too.

Joe Lieberman is also a liar. His bullcrap about a public option increasing the deficit is 100% untrue. The CBO has said it wouldn't and doing nothing, as Aetnaman wants, is a freaking disaster. The public option now remains the emergency room, paid for by us. Does this increase the deficit, Joe? Hell yes it does. A public option allows the ER folks to get insurance, pay for it, Joe. This guy is so far up Aetna's tookas he can probably find a piece of the rock, too.

Lieberman, doing the insurance industry's bidding, has changed his reasoning on opposing a public option so many times just to stay one step ahead of the posse. At various times he's claimed there's plenty of competition among insurance companies, stated the public would pay for it, wanted to wait until the recession was over, claimed the polls showed the public was against it and now he's all misty-eyed for premium payers of private insurance policies because the insurance industry has threatened everybody with premium hikes. Lieberman needs to be stopped. He's a douche bag every bit as much as any Republican. Harry Reid needs to grow a pair and do something about this schmuck.

Joe, you are no mensch, you're a schlemiel.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

You All Can't Be Named Potter!

Remember what happened back in August of 1968 in Chicago? Riots in the streets, cops beating the hell out anybody who got in their way, Democrats in chaos, the Cubs in last place. 1968 wasn't that much different than now. But this week, in Chicago, a group of subhumans, financial terrorists if you will, all met in one place to plot their next scam on the American public. The American Bankers Association, jesus I about puked just typing that name, met in the Third City to decide how to spend the $17 trillion they got from us other than handing out bonuses. Despicable people allowed to plot crimes in broad daylight, with rah rah speeches from Newt Gingrich and that bow tied writer who apparently chokes his chicken to a picture of Michelle Bachman, or is it Gretchen Carlson, George Will.

The 1968 riots occurred because of the ongoing slaughter of kids called the Vietnam war. I would argue that these miscreants from Citibank and BOA and Goldman Sachs and Wells Fargo and whatever other thieving devil in that lousy business is far more of a threat than the Viet Cong ever were, or Al Queda, or The Taliban, or Iran, or John Gosselin for that matter. The riots that didn't happen should have. These people are destroying American lives while laughing all the way to the, oh yeah, they ARE the effing bank!

A whole lot a capitalism apologists seemed to have a real problem with the Obama Administration order to cut CEO salaries. It's not up to the government to tell private industry how much or little to pay its CEO's, they say. Private industry? Hardly. Not after accepting billions of taxpayer dollars to prop them up they aren't. Oh I am not that naive' to believe that these bastards won't find another way to steal our money. Bank of America's Kenneth Lewis is going to walk away with $125 million of public money, while loudly exclaiming he will not accept a salary in 2009. Gee, big of ya Kenny. Citigroup robber baron, Vikrim Bandit, er, Pandit, made $10 billion in 2008 for running that money pit into the ground and then accepted $45 billion in bailout funds.

Barack Obama is arguably the most powerful CEO in the world right now. It is his job to keep these thieves from furthering their ill-gotten gains despite the corporate sycophants of the Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times or the Washington Times, not to mention the banker's goons that permeate Congress. Obama has a lot to do, and so far not so good, but I'll give him time. I have no choice. In the meantime, I'll open my next banking statement telling me they're going to start charging me a new administrative fee called the "Just Because We Can Fee".

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hasta La Vista Baby!

Boy that Governor Terminator guy married to that Kennedy who won't shut up while in her car
may have run a state into za ground, but his vetoes are wunderbar!

Friday, October 23, 2009

What A Dick!

Dick Cheney, the disgraced former vice-president, can't keep his mouth shut. Accusing Barack Obama, of "dithering" on Afghanistan and "being afraid" to send more troops to Afghanistan, does this sonuvabitch have any shame whatsoever?

For 7 years, this lying sack o sheep do and his dimwitted puppet screwed up that war by lying, ignoring and killing their own troops, along with Canadians and Germans. Thinking that by cluster bombing the hell out of a mountain and installing a bogus funny hatted sycophant in power, that everything would be fine while the neo cons and the private corporations raped a different country they wanted hold of in the first place.

Cheney ripping the new guy who has to clean up the mess is like Otter telling Dean Wormer his parade was disaster. Yet Dick keeps on being Dick and the press keeps covering his blathering speeches to fellow moon howlers.

I know he aint shutting up soon, unless some sort of myocardial infarction takes him down. I don't hope for that at all. I want the sadistic prick to leave the country and get arrested and get thrown into court at the Hague and stuffed into a cell with the other thumb breakers and genocide enthusiasts currently lodging there.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Gimme Some Peanuts And Decent Umping!

This was both the dumbest play I've ever seen in a baseball game and then it turned into the worst call I've ever seen in a baseball game. You goddamned umpires are ruining my sport with your shitey calls. Looks to me like two Yankees are tagged out for being off base. That's a double play. It's stupid baserunning. But per the umpire, Tim McClelland, it was only one out because the Yankee being tagged wasn't really tagged as you can plainly see.

It started when Tiger Brandon Ilg was hit by a Twins pitcher, oh no he wasn't. Then Twins Joe Mauer doubled to left, oh no he didn't. Nick Swisher is out at second, oh no he's safe. Nick Swisher scores from third, oh no he's out. Then the single play seen above.

Jesus Christ , I'm the only baseball fan left. Don't make start liking the NHL.

Paging Homer Sexual & Miss Conduct!

This is the place that paid a former Governor of Alaska, Snowjob Squareglasses, to speak at their fine college deep in the Ozarks, thus the name. Judging from the code of conduct, it seems that the Jed Clampett School Of No Science seems to have a problem with , well, everything EXCEPT homosexual MISconduct. Woo hoo! Break out the rainbow flags and statue of liberty outfits. It's gonna be some Halloween down there in Point Lookout, Missoura.

Monday, October 19, 2009

6 Wins 1 Loser!

Guess times are tough in the Twin Cities as this guy just can't spare the $75 for a brand spankin' new Brett Favre jersey. Let's hope the next mercenary doesn't wear #8 or this dude's in trouble.

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Falcon Has Landed!

6 year old Falcon Heene blows oats on national television after his media whore father, Dick Heene, informs him next time he'd better goddamn well be IN that balloon. If ever there was a child services call needed, this is it!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Mr.Smithers Goes To Washington!

I may be a little late on this one but last Sunday in Washington DC thousands of marchers rallied in support of gay rights. Actually, I prefer the term "human rights". Considering the last rally held in DC a month before was in support of themselves by a bunch of self-involved teabaggers chanting how everybody must kneel in front of me, me, me, this one was actually for a cause, not a big circle jerk by easily led lemmings.

Human rights are kind of a big deal. Throughout the years, millions of people, handicapped by birth, have had to raise hell to get straight,white men to allow them the same, not extra, the same rights granted to white men by those so-called geniuses who founded the nation. Women, blacks, Indians, children, Asians, Hispanics, and gays and lesbians are the people, born exactly as described, yet who have had to fight for those rights. Though racism, sexism, and hatred of youth still exists, those folks have made a lot of progress over the years. The gay community, well that's a bit different. Thanks to religion, self hatred, and a whole lot of repression, this seems to be the only group of human beings it's still okey dokey to discriminate against and still feel good about yourself. Sickos, perverts, anti-family, and a whole lot of slurs I am not into are acceptable in this society. Most dumb people think the worst insult you can throw at somebody is to call them gay, in a far more crude manner. Wow. That's really deep. You may as well look at a giraffe and tell it "well you're a hippo". Morons.

Anyway, I'm rambling as usual but the point here is this. Human rights are for humans. It's about time humans in power started realizing that. I have no doubt, hopefully in my lifetime, that gays and lesbians will be thought of as "that guy next door" or that "married couple down the street" or " that guy is a dick" without the g or l word being used.

The acceptance is coming. Just remember, it is not cool to be a bigot. Jump on the train where you can tell everybody, yeah I was with them way back when it wasn't cool. Human rights for all.

Monday, October 12, 2009

He's Innocent? Kill Him Anyway!

I never thought there could be a worse Governor of Texas than our former President, George W Bush, but Rick Perry is right there. Governor "Goodhair", as the late, great Molly Ivins referred to him, in between kowtowing to nuts with secession talk, gets to whack a bunch of criminals. Texas, never shy about ridding itself of convicted killers with lousy defense lawyers, is in a bit of a moral pickle. Oh. I'm sure few in Texas give a damn, but Governor Rick Perry may have allowed one Cameron Todd Willingham, convicted of burning his own house down and killing his three toddler daughters, to be executed when evidence of his possible innocence was sitting on his desk. Wow, too bad for that guy, huh?

Cameron Willingham was a criminal. He had a history of minor offenses and was accused of beating his wife. He was no choirboy, that's for sure. But those crimes don't garner the needle, at least in the United States. On December 23, 1991, Willingham's house burned down and his 2 year old and twin one year old daughters perished. Willingham, burned himself, was arrested and tried for capital murder. Turning down a life sentence, he went to trial, was convicted and sent to death row.

February 14th, 2004 came and Perry was asked to postpone the execution, scheduled for February 17th, because new forensic evidence had been discovered. Perry said no. On the date of the execution, at 4:52 PM, a five page fax was received by Perry's office arguing that an arson expert had found shoddy investigation techniques had been used to convict. Nobody knows if Perry read the thing because at 6:20 PM, Willingham was executed after once again proclaiming his innocence.

Dr.Gerald Hurst was the forensic arson expert whose previous investigations had freed people from prison. In fact in October, 2004, 8 months after Willingham was killed, Dr. Hurst helped free another man from Texas' death row due to shoddy arson evidence. So this isn't some hired gun bopping from state to state for the money.

Perry isn't going to let this skunk stink if he can help it. When the Texas Forensic Science Commission, created to fix forensic problems, released a report criticizing the evidence in the Willingham case, Perry fired three of the members and replaced them with flunkies. The report was squashed. When Bush was in office, death penalty records were public. Perry says no.

I don't know if this guy was guilty or not. I do know that when you execute somebody, there is no redress of grievances. It is for this reason I have always opposed the death penalty. If one guy or gal goes down for a crime they didn't commit, it isn't worth it. And by the way, I have no problem with life without parole. That can be changed. Death cannot. Perry is a cynical, nasty, soulless bastard, just like his predecessor.

Want the whole story? Go to the Houston Chronicle.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Barry,Teddy & Woody!

I know I am supposed to be high fiving all my progressive friends over Barack Obama being handed the Nobel Peace Prize and nyah nyah nyahing the right wingers but I cannot. I find it almost offensive that in order to say eff you to George W Bush, the Norwegians decided to hand over the award to the next guy. Hey, Nobel Dudes, your Peace Prize guy is still waging Bush's wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and is this close to expanding the Afghan war into an even bigger clusterfuque. Couldn't you have given the medal and the $1.4 million to somebody who has actually caused a little peace? Oh I don't know, maybe Bill Clinton for all his charity work or how about Bono, a living saint, or maybe Brett Favre, who has caused your American relatives to go into an ecstatic glee.
Obama is the third sitting American President to win this prestigious award, which in the past has been given to a terrorist named Yassir and a war criminal named Kissinger. Teddy Roosevelt received it for ending the Russo-Japanese War and Woodrow Wilson won it for his efforts to end World War I. Barack Obama seems to have won it for not being George W Bush.
So congratulations to Barack Obama for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Now get to work earning the damn thing.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Top Ten Reasons Why I Don't Get It?

Scandal? Really? Scandal? David Letterman is a talk show host, a comedian, a curmudgeon, the equivalent of the guy playing the guitar on the corner for tips. Scandal? Child, please.

Everybody knows the story by now. Some producer at 48 Hours is living with Dave's ex-assistant, found her diary, read it and because he's such a deadbeat Dad decided to try and blackmail Dave for $2 million. Letterman went to the authorities, participated in a sting, gave the guy a fake $2 million, and when the guy, Robert "Joe" Halderman tried to deposit the "money" ,he crossed the line from conspiracy to extortion. He was arrested. Dave "confessed" on the air and that was that. Scandal? Sorry, it's a crime. Stop blaming the victim you Sarah, oops almost, Caribou Barbie freaks. Do you moralists realize how much tail Bob Hope pulled in? You think he was actually overseas to "entertain the troops"? Delores was nowhere to be found. Grow up!

In a sort of related story, one that hasn't been talked about much because of conservative America's need to justify their love of phonies like Todd Palin's soon to be ex, 48 year old Michael Barrett was arrested for secretly taping ESPN sideline eye candy Erin Andrews through a peephole in her hotel room as she stood naked in front of a mirror. Barrett apparently stalked her, got adjoining rooms as often as he could, and jockeyed with a peephole so he could do his taping. The lousy cell phone video showed up on the internet after TMZ refused to buy it and turned this idiot's name over to the FBI. Who knew TMZ had any ethics? Or was it because the cell phone video sucked?

Scandal? Stop it. These incidents were crimes. Both criminals are morons. Letterman and Andrews didn't get where they are by being stupid. Well, one didn't anyway. I heard many conservative guys beg to know where they could find the video of Erin Andrews. These same guys are now outraged at Dave. It just tells me all I need to know about right wing men. The suppression is so deep. Let's hope a tape of a naked Alaskan with glasses and a smug attitude never surfaces. Their heads would explode.

P.S.--- Snowbilly Sarah's "book" is called "Going Rogue"? Are you serious? They named her book after a line by Tina Fey which made us laugh at her? Why not "I Can See Russia From My House"? I can't wait for the English translation.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Arguing With Himself?

I have just turned it over to this jackoff's Fox News daily rant. Let's see what's going on with this failed Top 40 deejay turned rightie charlatan.

4:33- Beck goes to a "dark area" as he puts it. He shows a bunch of black criminals beating a black kid to death in Chicago.
4:34- Beck pretends to care about the victim but goes on to trying to "ban railroad ties".
4:35- Beck shows why he failed at commercial radio. He's beating a dead horse sticking up for the NRA.
4:36- Beck blurts out "people kill people".
4:37-Beck bobs his head and smirks. He loves bashing Chicago and the blacks, the "dark area".
4:38- Beck plugs his book "Arguing With Myself" I mean Idiots.
4:39- Beck starts tongueing a sinister looking gun nut in a suit and tie calling for Chicagoans to walk around with shotguns.
4:40-Beck looks tired as Al Capone carries on about how much he loves guns.
4:41- Beck states he's a "big states rights guy" and takes a break, presumably to horsewhip his slave.

I can't take it anymore. I am out.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Let's Hear It For Opposite Marriage!

Oh I see, when a reporter is doing his job and some hearing challenged "values voter" can't hear what Carrie Prejean is rambling on about, that's rude. Disrupting Town Halls and heckling the President is telling it like it is. More random thoughts:

1) Who the hell is Tim Pawlenty? From what I've heard, he was a perfectly reasonable Republican Governor of Minnesota before he decided to run for President after he figured out the frontrunners for the 2012 Republican nomination was a Moron and a Morman. Now Pawlenty is quoting Bible verses at "values voters" and watching them roll around on the floor in ecstasy. C'mon now, Minnesotans aren't bible thumping charlatans, they're nice, reasonable Valhalla seekers.

2) Bo Pelini, head football coach at Nebraska, needs to chill out. After getting beat in a crazy, impossible way last Saturday at Virginia Tech, Bo went nuts. He threw his headphones at somebody, and on his postgame radio show, for which I believe he gets paid, he constantly asked the interviewer "did you see the play? let's move on". No, Bo, to put it in terms you might understand, what the fuck happened? Maybe Turner Gill would've been a better choice.

3) Pit Bulls should be banned. A 52 year old woman here in Omaha saw a pit bull threatening an 11 year old kid, came out of her house, distracted the psychotic canine and promptly had the pit bull attempt to eat her. She's in the hospital and may lose her leg. Last summer a pit bull chewed the scalp off a 4 year old girl. I'm sure any city in the country has similar stories. The solution? Put the pit bull owners to sleep too. The collective IQ of any city brave enough to do this would double.

4) Women's college volleyball is a great sport. I took Max to a Creighton University volleyball game the other night because I believe in spreading the sports experience around. To absorb yourself in football, basketball and baseball and nothing else is narrow minded and very Republican. I want Max to give the less popular sports, volleyball, soccer, hockey, and smaller class high school sports a try. But one thing I saw at this volleyball game bothered me. A number of single men with HUGE telephoto lenses taking pictures of the players. Is there such a thing as volleyball porn?

5) According to the New York Times, John Edwards told his mistress and baby's mama he would wait for Elizabeth to die and then he would marry her on a New York rooftop with music by the Dave Mathews Band. How much more sleaze can John Edwards get on himself? But of course all you conservatives, like the "values voters" who booted the MSNBC guy out of their little Bund meeting, don't believe a word of it, right? The New York Times is just another left wing lying slave to its communist masters that never tells the truth. Correct?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Can We Get Ted Nugent To Play Nearer My God To Thee?

Hey GOP, I hope this week goes a bit better than last week did for you. And you thought you had a bad week.

1) The teabaggers, racists, morons, and just plain stupid people didn't want a black man telling their purebred children to stay in school, get good grades, and wash their Aryan hands to keep from getting that Muslim flu. So they called schools on that talking machine and threatened spineless administrators with who knows what. Since one of the first things school administrators have to do after being promoted is get their spines removed (my apologies, Kevin) at least in Middle America, they wouldn't allow kids listen to that black guy. You look ridiculous there, GOP.

2) On Wednesday night, as the President, that black guy again, spoke to a joint session of Congress about health care, one legislator from Illinois apparently needs Flomax because he got up and left early. Then another legislator, that Wilson guy from South Carolina, forgot where he was and thought he was out front of Goober's Garage with the boys and some colored guy went walking by so he started hollerin' at him to get back to the other side of the tracks. You really look bad, GOP.

3) Good old Mike Duvall, a married Orange County California Assemblyman, big family values guy, big anti-gay rights guy, forgot every mike should be considered hot and proceeded to brag about spanking some other married woman and how another spankee didn't know about spankee #1. Tsk tsk tsk, Mikey. That's not very family valuesy. Well at least it was a woman, or rather, women. Most homophobes like spanking 15 year old male hookers or become Catholic priests. You're looking bad , GOP.

4) Kristin Maguire. I hate to keep picking on South Carolina, but Jesus Christ, the Palmetto State needs to get it's shiite together. Kristin Maguire is chairman of the South Carolina Board of Education. She, of course, is a fundamentalist Christian, homeschools her own little christians, tries to defund the public schools, and wants to teach abstinence and creationism. Ever hear of Bridget Keeney? Kristin Maguire has. Somebody named Bridget Keeney writes dirty stories, errrrrr, erotic fiction. Yeah you got it, Bridget Keeney is Kristin Maguire. She writes about doing things with an Oscar statue and a nice little Thanksgiving story about stuffing a turkey, hey wait a minute, that's not a turkey! She has resigned, which is more than I can say for the rest of South Carolina's miscreants. You look bad, GOP!

5) The teabaggers were back out Saturday in the streets of D.C. Claiming there were 2 million by using 1997 satellite pictures of the Million Man March (how ironic) these thousands of nuts carried around their racist signs and blathered on about taxes and how Muslims are taking over. Chrissakes, the streets of D.C. hasn't seen this many racist boneheads since the 1925 March on Washington by the Ku Klux Klan. You really look bad, GOP!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

It's Just A Number, The Number After 49!

Somebody in my family is, well we won't say how old. Happy Birthday, Kevin! We love ya!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Sheets And Hoods Get Warshed On Weekends!

Looks like the teabaggers were let out of the home again this weekend. Once again, euthanasia and death panels may be given the short shrift here. But, let's all agree, one thing you can't take away from these "conservatives". Their class and dignity.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Congressman Douche Bag I Presume?

Hey everybody, it's South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson (R-SC) who found it necessary to holler at and heckle the President during a joint congressional speech this evening. How many trailer parks are there in South Carolina and why do they get their own representative? I hope Nancy Pelosi serves up this guy's balls at the House cafeteria tomorrow.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Your Brain Is Sleepy!

By all means, nutjobs, keep your kids home from school Tuesday when the President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama, will secretly convert your children into Muslim zombie suicide bombers.
I don't know what your school district is up to when it comes to Obama's speech to the schoolkids regarding staying in school, getting good grades, and washing their snotty hands? All I know is here in red country, no on second thought we voted for Obama in 2008, the school districts in the burbs and in the military dictatorship-run district to my south are not showing his speech to the kids. Too many of their stupid parents have followed the hypnotic orders of their radio masters and called in to threaten the folks who run the schools so its a no-go. The big school district has left it up to the teachers. The district Max attends hasn't said a thing.
Why is this happening? Because hypnotized adults are afraid that somebody other than some fat drug addict on the radio will tell their kids the truth. Stay in school, get good grades, and wash your filthy hands. That as opposed to the crap the man in the box tells them. Hate the poor, hate the minorities, hate the liberals, hate the President, and by all means, hate yourselves. Phenomenal.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Man In The Green Van, Out!

This guy, Van Jones, resigned from his job as Creator of Green Jobs or whatever it was with the Obama Administration under pressure from Fox News, Glenn Beck and the old egg cracker, Matt Drudge. Let's examine his "crimes".

1) He called Republicans "assholes". He meant it as a compliment when asked why the Republicans only needed 51 Senate votes to get anything done while the Democrats can't do squat with 58 Senate votes he replied "because they're assholes".

2) He stated that it's only "white kids" who are shooting up schools like at Columbine.

All right, he told the truth twice and got booted because Republican flacks like Fox, Beck and Sludge twisted it and got their sheeple to start up the old e-mail machine.

I get it, in the Republican world, if you lie and cheat and are incompetent you get the Medal of Freedom (George Tennant). If you tell the truth, you get the one way ticket to obscurity (Tom Ridge).

Friday, September 4, 2009

Somebody Please Beat Florida! Anyone?

It's college football season again and I am happy that for two years in a row I can root for my alma mater, The University of Nebraska-Lincoln. You see, from 2003 through 2007 I secretly rooted for the Huskers, led by the worst head coach of all time,Bill Callahan, to get their ass kicked every week so the state would rid themselves of this cancer. It finally happened and I can go back to loving the 8-4 seasons again.
Teams I Love:
1) Nebraska- I live here, I was born here, I actually was in classrooms there (unlike 90% of the crowds they draw) and I went to games with my Dad here. Forgive me for buying into the Husker hype. It's silly, it's asinine, it's really sad. But it's all we have.
2) Texas Tech- Stuck out in nowhere. Perennial 3rd bananas in their own state. I've loved these guys since the days of Donnie Anderson. The black and red double T's. Coach Mike Leach, law school trained and as nutty as an elephant turd. Go Tech!
3) Minnesota- The Gophers have been a fave of mine since I saw them play in the old campus stadium in Minneapolis in 1973 against Nebraska and they actually wore gold pajamas. Well, they looked like pajamas, and the Gophers played like they were sleepy. The Minnesota fans were so nice as they got stomped, it's impossible to not like them. I was already a Twins fan so what the hell. Oh yeah, their QB that day? Tony Dungy.
4) Ohio- not THE Ohio State University. Plain old Ohio. The Bobcats, coached by Frank Solich, who got fired here at Nebraska because he only won 75% of his games. I like Frank. I think he's a helluva coach. I want him to succeed.
5) Kansas- Kansas fans are a lot like Minnesota fans. They're just nice. They have that goofy fake bird as a mascot, they act all academic like at football games, and their coach weighs about 500 pounds. But he is worth his weight in gold because Mark Mangino is one great football coach.
Teams I Hate:
1) Notre Dame- For god's sake this place is hell on earth. From that crappy town it's in to that stupid Touchdown Jesus, Notre Dame reeks arrogance. A team with a French name and a freaking leprechaun as a mascot calls itself the Irish? I went there way back and some asshole asked me if we had Indian troubles and he was serious. The bastard is probably in jail for insider trading or something now. At least I hope so.
2) Texas- see above. The arrogance of these Third World wannabees is almost as bad as the French Irish listed above. The Nebraska band salutes the opposing team by playing its fight song. Texas refused to allow the Nebraska band to play "The Eyes of Texas" (which is really just "I've been working on the railroad") because they weren't worthy. Then some overgrown Texas moron football player attempted to plant the Texas flag on the big N in the middle of our field. He couldn't because it's not grass, it's Field Turf. Geniuses.
3) Colorado- these insecure brain deads hate us. Why? I don't know. Because Nebraska beat their ass for about 40 years in a row? They abuse a buffalo before every game, they throw snowballs with a rock center at you, they vandalize your car, they have the class of CMT reality show and they just plain suck. A few years back, on national television, the entire student section got booted out of the stadium for being the lowlifes they are.
4) Miami- The U? Really? They have a U on their helmet and a year or so ago they sued the University of Nebraska at Omaha for copyright infringement because UNO put an O on their helmet. Despite the fact an O is not a U and red & black is different from orange and green, these thug cuddlers sued anyway. They lost. I love it when that roaming prison yard of a team loses.
5) Ohio State- Just for the fact it's called THE Ohio State University I hate them. I hate them dotting that goddamned I. I hate their ugly ass silver and red uniforms. I hate their little buckeyes on the helmets. I hate their very existence. Go Blue!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Health Care, Stat!

I don't usually delve into stats or argue policy because I just don't have the time, the intellect nor the desire to bore the hell out of anybody reading this little blog-o-mine. Oh I could do it and state that 18,000 Americans die each year due to lack of insurance. Or I could state 30 million people are uninsured because they lack the funds to purchase insurance and that 80% of that 30 million (24 million) are working full time. I could give you a number of 13 million younger people between age 19-29 who have no insurance not only because people of that age feel indestructible but because they can't afford it. Drifting off yet? How about another stat of 25 million people who have dangerously inadequate insurance coverage. About 10 million uninsured are non-citizens (booooooooo!!!) but they aren't going to be covered under ANY health care bill out there. Oh shut up Gramps, it's true. 11 million are uninsured because they don't know anything about Medicaid, most of these are kids, poor kids. And then of course we have the Rush Limbaughs and the Glenn Becks and the Sean Hannitys who make so much money they don't need any insurance and really don't want anybody else to get it either.

Let's see, 30 million plus 13 million plus 25 million plus 11 million equals 79 million people who are living on a prayer. You may think prayer works as a health plan, but I'll bet if you're crass enough to believe that, you also have insurance. This all reminds me of a little card my Dad carried in his wallet. It said, "I am a Catholic, in case of emergency, to hell with a priest, call me a damned doctor!" That's all we are saying to the "I have mine, to hell with you" people. Call a doctor, and make sure he's paid by somebody and if its the government well that's just the way it is. Just like a cop or a fireman or an EMT. Call them. Pass this damn health care bill now.

Sorry for the numbers. I'll go back to my vapid, sarcastic self next time.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Even George Will Got This Right!

They call Afghanistan "the graveyard of empires". The British couldn't hang, the Russians couldn't hang and now, the United States isn't going to hang either. Oh but don't tell that to BHO, the modern day version of LBJ, because he's sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan to, uhhhhhhhhh, I'm not really sure what. Is this a war? Is this a pursuit of Osama Bin Laden? Is this a revenge deal?

You see, for some reason, we are fighting the Taliban. The Taliban is that goofy bunch of bearded religious nuts who want to run Afghanistan like a 15th century kingdom. The Taliban allowed Osama and his band of cave dwelling beheading enthusiasts to live in peace and run around climbing on monkey bars in training to fly jets into buildings. Then, on 9/11/01, when the Saudis wreaked havoc on the United States, we got pissed at the Taliban because they wouldn't turn Osama over. Hey, fellas in the Bush Administration, these guys were kooks. Surprise. So we bombed the shiite out of them, deposed the Taliban, and ran the other way when Osama was cornered at Tora Bora and fled to Pakistan.

Oh well, said the neo-cons. Now's our chance. Invade Iraq. Forget Afghanistan. That was bad enough, but now that Iraq is on the back burner, the new guy, my guy, Barack Obama, has decided to increase the effort in Afghanistan. I have a few questions.

1) What the hell are we doing there?
2) Is there a goal?
3) Why do we support yet another bogus government?
4) Is Afghanistan an anagram for Vietnam?
5) Are you crazy, Barack?

We need to go now. Get the eff out now. This is a disaster waiting to happen. Barack Obama needs to start this whole change thing he promised. And by change, I don't mean Americans dying in Afghanistan instead of Iraq.

Monday, August 31, 2009

You First!

Michelle Bachmann takes the lead, again, in the batshit crazy league. She wants her followers to "slit their wrists, become blood brothers" in the fight against health care for the poor.

Oh please. Please.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Ich Bin Sad!

Back in 1973 or so a high school assignment required we write a short bio of a famous person we admired. Since my parents weren't famous, I wrote a short bio of Ted Kennedy. The teacher at the Catholic school in which I was incarcerated gave me back the paper and told me this man was not acceptable as a hero and to write another bio of somebody else. So I wrote a bio of Abbie Hoffman (which may explain my rocky road through high school).
Ted Kennedy was a hero of mine and I don't give a damn who knows. Rich and privileged and a member of Camelot, the man had every reason to get drunk every night, hang around with loose women and wallow in self indulgence. Well, he did that but he also spent his sober moments championing the rights of the downtrodden. He ramrodded civil rights legislation through the Senate, stopped crazy people like Robert Bork from getting on the Supremes, was a pain in the ass to those power mongers at the top and gave the right hell.
Well it's over now. They're all gone. We are left with pretenders and whores. We are left with weak -spined liberals who are so afraid of those Town Hall cretins they won't do anything even remotely controversial. Ted Kennedy didn't care what those mouth breathers of the right said about him (how many times when you were beating the metaphorical shit out of a Republican in an argument did their face get all red and they suddenly blurted "uhhhhhh Chappaquidick!!).
He's gone now, much to the delight of the nuts who pass as Republican leaders.. Limbaugh had no respect today. Hannity had no respect today. Shame on them for without Teddy, Limbaugh would be wearing short sleeved shirts selling radio advertising for DoucheBag and The Dork in the morning and Hannity would be sitting at some Queens bar trying to get somebody to listen to him yammer on about the evils of flouridated water.
When my Dad first got colon cancer in the 1980's , he was so pissed because that "sonuvabitch Reagan" had it at the same time and everybody kept saying "ohhhh yeah, dats what President Reagan has". Dad beat it. My Dad died at 77 from the same cancer Teddy had. That'll make Dad happy. I hope they can both saunter up to the bar and toast each other. Cheers.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Maybe I'm Crazy For Saying This But....

1) Euthanasia is not always a bad thing. As much death and suffering as I've seen in the last few years, I fully believe that terminally ill people should be allowed to euthanize themselves or have someone else do it for them without fear of jail. Spare me your leave it up to God nonsense for if your God allows people to suffer long, pain-filled horrible deaths before he pulls the heavenly plug, well then he's a prick. Sorry, but that God aint my God.

2) Blastocysts, embryos, stem cells and 8 month along fetuses are not human beings. People who believe that they are human beings are entitled to their opinion but have no right to continue to bully the rest of us with their worship of things they cannot even see. If you don't want Uncle Bill or Grandpa Joe to get potential help from a variety of muscular diseases because of this devotion to things you can't see, well leave it up to them and shut the eff up. If you want to give birth to Trigger Palin you should be admired. If you want to shake your heart to death from Parkinson's Disease without attempting to alleviate your suffering, great, be a martyr. But please, don't tell me or anyone else what to do.

3) Scotland let that Libyan terrorist out of jail on humanitarian grounds and the Libyans celebrated his return to Tripoli with a huge party worthy of a returning hero. So what? It's none of your business, America. It's Scottish law and they can do whatever they want. When Chuck Schumer (D-NY) did a Gomer Pyle and said "shame shame shame" I wanted to tell him to stop sucking up and how dare he shame another country when he lives in one that held mock executions of prisoners, tortured suspects and acts like their poop don't stink. Any court in the U.S. has as much power in Scotland as Judge Judy.

4) Socialism isn't all that scary. Ever notice how the teabaggers and the people who hold up the "socialism sucks" posters seem to be all really old? They drive to their little protests on socialist roads, with socialist speed laws, protected by socialist police and socialist EMT's. They prance around on socialist land, they take their kids and grandkids to socialist parks, send them to socialist schools, and eat food protected by socialist standards. They get their power from socialist utilities and flush their toilets courtesy of socialist sewers and fill up their drinks with scotch and socialist water. Of course, when they get sick, they are happy to present their Medicare card and just love that Socialist Security check. You know what really is scary? Unregulated capitalism.

5) Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer ever. Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever. But both are the worst risk takers ever. What do I mean? Back in the old days, certain athletes stood up for something and risked it all. Bill Russell, Jim Brown, Muhammad Ali, Billie Jean King, Dave Kotay, Curt Flood, Jim Bouton, Jackie Robinson. Those folks risked it all. Some lost. Ali told the U.S. government to shove its immoral, illegal war up its keester. Flood gave up his career to stand up to greedy baseball owners. Russell and Brown and Robinson stood up to racists. Kotay came out of the closet before anybody knew there was a closet. Billie Jean didn't take any junk and Bouton told everybody Mickey Mantle was human. Woods and Jordan stand for nothing but money. How much do you two need? Stand up for something. Grow a pair.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

White Men In Black!

In case you can't read this, the 51 year old genius is holding up signs saying "Death To Obama" and then tossing in for free, "death to Obama, Michelle, and her two stupid kids". Well the Secret Service is having a talk with this moron now. On second thought, keep Gitmo open.

Can we stop being scared of 18-24 year old minority kids and start fearing 45-64 year old white people?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

How About IQ Tests To Own A Gun?

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson 1787.

Wow. I think that guy is threatening to kill a "tyrant". In that small mind of his I would assume the "tyrant" is Barack Obama. Therefore, why isn't this "patriot" doing life in prison for advocating the assassination of the President of the United States? Perhaps this guy, William Kostric, can replace Squeaky Fromme in the federal prison system when she gets out?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009