Thursday, August 20, 2015

Off To College!

Tomorrow is the day Max's Dad & Mom sends Max off to college. Jesus, where has this time gone? It was about 6 months ago, or so it seems, we were dropping him off at kindergarten. It seems like a month ago we were touring the new middle school. It seems a week ago we were sending him to the same high school Max's Uncle attended. It seems like yesterday that Max was still living with us. Oh it was. Sometimes what seems like yesterday actually was yesterday. If I could stop time, believe me, I would. Not to keep me young, but to keep Max young.

Going off to college was overwhelming 40 years ago, when I left. Christ, I was scared shitless. And I had pretty much been so independent I could handle anything. Except I couldn't. Two weeks into the college experience, I was walking back to the dorm from a night class when suddenly I became so vulnerable and unsure of myself, I sat down on a bench in the middle of the campus and cried. I missed my home, my parents, my brother, my dog, my safety net. I was ready to come home and quit. Thank goodness it was a time when no cell phone existed, no social media existed, no way for me to cry for help. I had to tough it out. And I did. But it was rough, real rough.

I don't want it to be rough for Max. I want it to be easy for him. But I know it will not be. He is much less independent than me. He counts on his mother and me to be there for him. And I fear we won't be when it gets hard. Actually I fear he won't ask us to be there. I didn't. I gutted it out on my own and dammit I wish I hadn't. I wish I had the options kids have today. The cell phones, the social media, the skype, the easy access to help. I had a collect call back home. And the United States Mail. I wrote my Dad a lot. Always addressed it to his office. It wasn't so much to ask for anything, it was more of a hey I'm still here, and I think about you a lot. I hope Max does that, only by text or email or cell phone. That would have been so great in 1975.

Max is a lot like me. Socially uncomfortable. Shy. A bit of a stick in the mud. But so much smarter than me. But nowhere near as street smart. That bugs me. Did we coddle him too much? Did we prepare him for life? Did we concentrate too much on being his buddy and not his parents? I hope not. He will probably be all right, but what if he isn't? That's on us. That concerns me.

Damn, it's like I'm going into a new chapter of life too. The whole empty nest shit doesn't bother me at all. I talk to Max's Mom all the time. It's not like we'll sit around in silence. Sitting around, yes. Silence, hardly. Just wait till Donald Trump comes on TV with another of his simpleton appealing terrific "ideas". She'll be begging for silence. But with Max not here, not coming in at midnight or 1 am or whenever, I will be very empty. Does he need me anymore? Does he treasure any memories? Will he ever come home? These are all concerns I have rattling around in my low self esteem brain.

I know kids every year, millions of them, go away to school. And 99.9% of them make bad choices at some point. What will be Max's bad choices? We never drank or smoked around him. I yelled a lot, as I always have, and he yells too. I am reminded of the old Taxi TV show where Jim, an intelligent straight A student at Harvard, meets Tom Hanks and eats the funny brownie and the rest is history. I know its a bizarre thing to think of, but this is my mind at this time.

Are you sure I can't stop time?

Saturday, August 15, 2015

The Stanford Prison Experiment!

Just a quick aside and movie recommendation.

Back in 1971 I remember a Life Magazine (yeah I'm old) featuring an article about a little experiment done during the summer at Stanford where a bunch of students, trying to pick up some grass money, volunteered to become either prison inmates or guards for two weeks. What happened was classic psychology. And expected.

The guards became power hungry assholes and the inmates became unhinged and timid. Gee,really?

Anyway a movie has been released about this "experiment". It's not a documentary, its an actual film with actors and directors and writers. And it is fascinating, frightening and features some of the best young acting talent I have ever seen.

Go see it before it goes away. It will keep you captivated the entire time. It will make you wonder what you would do in this situation. It will make you angry, sad and bewildered. And you can go home and look up all this young acting talent on IMDB since you will go "where have I seen him before" or "wow that guy is good and I want to see more"

Never thought these words would come out of anyone's mouth, but one of the actors has the privilege of being in the two best movies of the year. Well my best two anyway.

Good Deal!

Wow. The only thing that was more surprising at that Donald Trump coming out party last week on Fox News than the John Kasich actually doesnt wanna kill all the gays speech, is that Jeb Bush is such a dullard. This guy, the presumed coronation prince, is such a stiff that Hillary started dumping top secret e-mails on Skype for everyone to see.

Now we all knew that Jeb Bush was really the dumb one, I mean for chrissakes he goes by "Jeb", but who knew he was both dumb and dull?

Jeb is in Iowa this week sucking up to people so enamored with themselves every 4 years or so they actually act proud of that fucking butter cow. It's Iowa State Fair week in Des Moines or wherever and every hick from East Moline to Omaha goes to see whatever country act is stealing their money this year. And every dick from Chris Christie to Carly Fiorina shows up to play Harold Hill and fleece the rubes. And despite wearing bread bags on their shoes like all Iowans, the shit is impossible to avoid.

Jeb the Dullard is running around Iowa giving his brother, the not as dumb as Jeb one, a hand job by doubling down on the Iraq War being a good thing, or in Jebspeak, a "good deal". Ya see, to Jeb, who is being sucked off by the same bunch of war criminals that gave us that "good deal", the fact that Saddam Hussein is gone, made it all worth it. All the instability left in the wake of Saddam's demise aint brother George's fault, its that Bill Clinton, husband of Hitlery, and that Obummer guy's fault cuz Paul Wolfowitz and Stephen Hadley said so.

You remember Wolfowitz, the guy with the comb and that greasy hair. Wolfowitz is the guy who as soon as he saw a Tower on fire, instead of hollering "what the fuck" hollered "INVADE IRAQ!!!" Wolfowitz, who ought to be in a foreign jail someplace, is "advising" the dumb Bush on foreign policy. Hey,America, wake up! It's happening again.

And Stephen Hadley. Remember this asshole? The guy who stuck the infamous 16 words into the 2003 State of The Union speech delivered by the not as dumb as Jeb Bush brother. "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." Well other than the fact that the British do have a government and there is uranium in Africa someplace, the rest of it was a fucking lie.

Yep, these guys are in Jeb's ear. Remember that for when Trump quits and Jebbie suddenly becomes the party favorite again cuz his name is familiar or something.

The Iraq War was a "good deal".


Tell that to the 4500 American families who lost a loved one in that "good deal".

Tell that to the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi families who lost loved ones in that "good deal". In fact considering 3000 or so lives were lost on 9/11, I think we have made up for it and should call it even.

Tell that to the Tea Party Nitwits complaining about the national debt and out of control spending cuz they really care about themselves their children and grandchildren. Anywhere from $2 trillion to $6 trillion spent on this "good deal"? Oh I know Teabaggers think $6 trillion is how much is spent each year giving the blacks and the gays and the illegals more rights than they have but some may accept reality liberal nonsense someday.

Yeah Jeb, "good deal".

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Jimmy Carter!

In retrospect, this is one cool dude. Jimmy Carter. Revealed to have cancer yesterday and at 90 that aint good.

The greatest living ex-president, only a fucking dick would argue with that, who travels the world looking out for the downtrodden instead of enriching himself, is in dire straights. But ya know, Jimmy Carter probably doesn't think so. I wouldn't be surprised to see him out there building houses or feeding orphans soon enough.

This guy came along in 1975 running for President against the likes of Hubert Humphrey and Ed Muskie and all those other Democrats who were shoo ins. And Jimmy Carter kicked all their asses. And my Dad and I were not happy. The smile, the humble act, the Jesus. Who trusted that back in 1976? Nope. This guy was up to something.

We got over it of course. I mean who the hell in my family was going to vote for that stumblebum, Gerald Ford? It was my first vote for President and though Carter wasn't Frank Church he also wasn't a flippin Republican.

Jimmy Carter may have been the perfect man for the time. The 1970's sucked. Forget all the nostalgia and the bullshit revisionist history. The 1970's blew.

And Jimmy Carter took the hit. As America stopped growing up and instead regressed back into believing lies, Carter told it like it was. The famous malaise speech. Listen to it again. He was right. but America wanted lies and bullshit, a trend continuing on today.

Jimmy Carter may have not been the greatest President ever, but it's hard to argue he isn't the best human being ever. Come on, The Allman Brothers standing with a President? That was the best!

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Keith's Rubbish!

A mishmash of rubbish. Ok, Keith Richards. Ok fine, let's see what he actually said. Oh yeah, about the Beatles. That album. Sgt Pepper.

What Keith said to Esquire was this:

No, I understand—the 
Beatles sounded great when they were the Beatles. But there's not a lot of roots in that music. I think they got carried away. Why not? If you're the Beatles in the '60s, you just get carried away—you forget what it is you wanted to do. You're starting to do Sgt. Pepper. Some people think it's a genius album, but I think it's a mishmash of rubbish, kind of like Satanic Majesties—"Oh, if you can make a load of shit, so can we."

The Beatles sounded great when they were the Beatles.

Yep, cant disagree with that.

But there's not a lot of roots in that music.

Yep. Can't disagree with that either.

I think they got carried away. Why not?

Yep, definitely carried away.

If you're the Beatles in the '60s, you just get carried away—you forget what it is you wanted to do.

Yep, can't disagree with that either.

You're starting to do Sgt. Pepper. Some people think it's a genius album, but I think it's a mishmash of rubbish, kind of like Satanic Majesties—"Oh, if you can make a load of shit, so can we."

Ok, yep get it, Keith. can't disagree with that either, especially that part about if you can make a load of shit, so can we.

So what's the big hub bub about?

Keith Richards doesn't like Sgt.Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band. Cuz it has no roots. And the Beatles forgot what it is they wanted to do. And they got carried away.

And thank fucking Gawd all of that is true.

The Beatles albums did not have any roots after 1965. It's because they made their own fucking roots and stopped recreating old blues stuff because they got bored with it and had stuff rolling around in their heads nobody had ever heard before. Yeah they forgot what it is what they wanted to do, like most people who grow up and accept reality. Or in the Beatles case, realize what they wanted to do wasn't anywhere near what they felt they HAD to do. And yep, Keith, they got carried away.

Got so damned carried away they put things on that album nobody had ever heard before. Pushed by Brian Wilson to bust out of the image and do whatever it is they wanted to do. Good for them.

Oh I have to resist the Stones bashing. I will. The roots are there, Keith. Keep paying tribute. That's fine if that's what you wish to do. But to hammer on others who create roots of their own is just plain lazy.

Some day just compare Sgt Peppers to Their Satanic Majesties Request.

There's only one "load of shit" there. Not two.

And one masterpiece.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Trump's Time Of Month!

Man, it's hard to ignore this prick, Trump. The guy is a trainwreck, a bigot, a pig and total classless clod but damn he is entertaining in that what the fuck sort of way.

The Republican food fight is over. For now. Roger Ailes sent his attack dogs out to eliminate this loudmouthed blockhead from the polls in this debate and they may well have succeeded. Megyn Kelly, who looks like a Trump trophy wife, was the bait. Trump doesn't care about a shill like Chris Wallace or a neckless hobbit like Bret Baier, he's busily sizing up Kelly and her blonde locks for his trophy wall. And Kelly hung herself over the boat waiting for the corn husk haired shark to jump. He did.

Of course he fucking did. He can't help it. Donald Trump is a thin skinned bully who really really hates women who stand up to his bullshit. Shit, he couldn't even let go a years long feud with Rosie O'Donnell in taking the bait. Wow. Trump has declared financial bankruptcy on a few occasions and now he has declared moral bankruptcy in front of 24 million people.

After the "debate", which quite frankly I couldn't care less about, Trump took to twitter as he always does to start in with his insults. Kelly is a "bimbo" a "loooozer". Frank Luntz is a "slob". All of this from a so called billionaire at 3 am? So wired up that someone, especially some broad, would stand up to him and call him on his own words he can't even wait till morning. Then last night on CNN, Donald Trump landed on the boat and Megyn Kelly stabbed him with the harpoon. "She was bleeding from the eyes, bleeding from the whatever".

Now that may be funny to the Trump male voters, some of the dumbest living creatures on Earth. However, to most women. Not funny. Oh yeah there's some women who think that funny, more of the dumbest creatures on Earth, but really?

Donald, you're done. Get back on Celebrity Apprentice where you belong. Go back to "firing" "celebrities". Go back to being a pompous ass in front of hundreds of viewers (I admit it I fast forward thru it to the boardroom parts). Go back to fantasizing about dating your daughter. Go back to schmoozing with Gary Busey or Meat Loaf.

Yep, by falling into Roger Ailes trap, by reacting to obvious baiting by blonde chicks who can read a script, You, Donald Trump, have picked the wrong fuckin guy to fuck with!

Bye Bye!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Happy Birthday Mister President!

54 years ago a baby Damien Obama, or Barry Soweto, or Nobama Obummer was born in Kenya or Indonesia or Calgary or the Panama Canal Zone but definitely not in 'Merica. The satan child of Saul Alinsky and Angela Davis, little Barry Alinsky was raised by the Manson Family East in Kenya or Indonesia but definitely not in the U S A U S A! In keeping with the giant conspiracy to one day install a Kenyan born Muslim Nazi Socialist Anti-Colonialist Homo Demoncrat into the presidency, the liberal media and its minions, yep those lil yellow minions, kept up a 40 some year "story" of how lil Barack grew up in Hawaii (sort of America) and went to Columbia University and Harvard though nobody ever saw him in either place and yet he went there on affirmative action cuz he's dumb cuz he's black like his dumb wife, Moochelle. So yes, he never went there but he did go there on the taxpayer dime. Makes sense.

The Soros Family kept up the facade by dressing up lil Barry in University of Hawaii t shirts and swinging a baseball bat even though he was actually on the beaches of Indonesia and swinging a cricket bat. Clever Soros family.

All through his conspiracy fueled life, little Barry Alinsky-Davis just kept believing that someday, America would be so dumbed down they would first elect this son of Ed Asner and Sandra Fluke to the Illinois State Senate where he would totally cause 9/11, then elect him to the United States Senate where he could totally cause Hurricane Katrina and then finally, the Presidency of the United States of America!

Now it's done. The destruction of America thanks to the lil guy hatched from a pod 54 years ago in somewhere totally not in America.

Happy Hatch Day, President Barack Hussein Obama. Keep up the good work!

Sunday, August 2, 2015


I don't get it. UFC or MMA or street brawling or any of it. What would be illegal and get you jail time in a bar or on the street is perfectly fine in some kind of octagon with bars and doors and thousands of drunks and sadists.

I love or rather loved boxing. I was fortunate to grow up in the 60's and 70's with Ali and Frazier and Foreman and Norton and Holmes. I could name you every Muhammed Ali fight from 1962 onward. Ooo Ooo check out the knockout punch Ali threw against Cleveland Williams. Loved the sweet science.

But now? Ehhhh. Unless it's Bud Crawford knocking out Gamboa or going back and watching fight films of the 1930's when the sport meant something I don't pay attention to boxing any longer. I mean come on, Vladimir Klitschko is one of the most sleep installing fighters ever.

UFC or MMA is the rage among people younger than me. I hear about it constantly and have no idea what they are talking about. There are young guys I work with who aspire to be MMA or UFC fighters. They all have one thing in common. My wishing to be anywhere else when they start talking about MMA or UFC. Jesus, stop!

Ronda Rousey beat some Brazilian last night in 34 seconds and is now all the talk of the street brawling world. I've seen stories about Ronda Rousey, how she grew up, how her father killed himself, how her mother encourages this behavior and used to fight herself. How attractive she is. Yeah great ears! Yum.

Ronda Rousey usually beats people up within 30 seconds, often within 20 seconds, and people fork over $50 to watch, kind of like the guys who like to watch women's hair pulling competitions over some useless dude. Yahoo!

I don't know. I'm old. I am not fond of this sport. I'd prefer refs and gloves and rules. Shit, one of these days they'll be a sport where the fighters are allowed to exercise their 2nd Amendment rights and just shoot each other.

Anyway I'll go back to yelling at kids to get off my lawn and kick back and enjoy REAL entertainment. RIP Roddy!

Saturday, August 1, 2015

AP History!

Oh thank Allah that Max got thru AP History in his senior year of high skool and got an A. As Max's Mom and I await his going away to join ISIS we see the College Board has finally done something about that anti-American AP History shit the were teaching and now have made the textbook a 400 page book that says on every page America Fuck Yeah!

Now finally, young uns will be taught the correct version of American History instead of the truth, real American history about shit like how fucking great we are and how fucking great we are!

You know like:

1) The American Revolution was inspired by God and how guys dressed like Indians to cover their own asses brave patriotic conservatives threw all that tea in the bay cuz Britain was really taxing them too much. God hates taxes, especially British taxes.

2) Slavery was allowed because it featured full employment with medical for all the blacks rescued from their homeland where a whole lot of other blacks kept them in slavery and white guys with jungle fever love in their hearts saved them from a fate worse than being whipped and thrown overboard and kept in chains. Those ungrateful blahhhh people need to be thanking the white man instead of being pissed off all the time when a courageous white cop kills an unarmed blaaaaa maniac.

3) Manifest Destiny was God's way of making his chosen people masters of the world like he meant it to be in the Garden of Eden when he created Abba Adam & Eve. Anything the gets in the way? See slavery above. You're welcome Crazy Horse.

4) The Civil War was all about slavery Southern Pride, slavery state's rights to keep people in chains employed, and slavery the threat of the evil federal government led by the man who caused 100% unemployment of all blacks, almost as bad as Obummer, Abe Lincoln.

5) The genocide christian conversion of the Native American was in reality a good thing. I mean come on, all that dancing around asking for rain, what kind of nonsense is that? Praise Jesus you heathens. You'll be better off.

6) The 16th Amendment saved America was Satan inspired and the result of thinking like Nobama has. The income tax is the price paid to live in America worst thing ever. Repeal the Amendment now.

7) Communism is whatever rights I don't get. Gay rights, women rights, black rights, mexican rights, Caitlin Jenner rights, all inspired by brave men and women Communist agitators. Joe McCarthy was a drunk hero. He embarrassed saved America from commies like Oliver Wendall Douglas.

8) Vietnam was fought to enrich the defense industry to free the people of Vietnam from a freely elected leader commie dictator named Ho Chi Minh who had a totally awesome evil looking beard like Lenin. We totally won even though the liberal media says we lost.

9) Ronald Reagan is the greatest American who ever lived. Period. All hail Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan raised taxes 11 times never ever even thought of raising taxes. Ronald Reagan proved that trickle down economics is just the rich pissing on your head worked cuz everybody was rich beyond belief back in the 80's. Like in that documentary Wall Street.

10) Ronald Reagan is the 3rd worst greatest President who ever lived. Period. He totally caused unnecessary tension took down the Soviet Union all by himself freeing millions of slaves around the world but good slaves, white ones, not the ungrateful blaaaaa ones we have here.

11) Barack Obummer is the 2nd best president of my lifetime epitome' of bad presidents. He collapsed a thriving economy, allowed terrorists to take down the Towers, caused Hurricane Katrina, started ISIS, lost the Iraq War, was totally born in Kenya, and has a wife with a big ass.

12) America is number one in everything. No matter what the facts say liberal lies say. we are exceptional! All of us Republicans are exceptional. It must be true because Joe Stalin Ronald Reagan said it. And Ronald Reagan is the false idol greatest American of all time.

America! Fuck Yeah!