Thursday, December 30, 2010

Rock Chalk Jaywalk?



I've been to historic sports venues before. Wrigley, uhhhhhhhh, The Metrodome? Ok, I've been to some real stadiums and arenas, many of which I would consider dumps that others worship. Wrigley, uhhhh, the Metrodome.

I went to Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas with Max on Wednesday night for the first time to see Kansas hammer an unarmed opponent. It really wasn't Kansas I went to see, but the building. It lived up to its billing just like most historic stadiums and arenas. It was a pit. But so what? They love their Jayhawks and isn't that what counts? Unfortunately yes.

Standing in line for a chance at a seat 2 1/2 hours prior to gametime. Getting in and rushing to get a first come first served seat. What could be better? Well actually having a seat maybe and not having to stand in line for an hour but that's nitpicking. Hey, I'm used to the Devaney Center (aka The Library) in Lincoln watching a lousy basketball team play in front of hundreds of sleepy fans and losing. This was different. There were banners hanging from the rafters crowing about 5 national championships, numerous Final Fours, and too many to count league titles. Hell, in Lincoln the building is sagging from all the NIT banners.

There were 16,000 nuts in the Fieldhouse an hour before gametime. Chanting crazy chants and singing Bon Jovi tunes with the alumni pep band. Cheering the lowliest player leaving the court. Screaming their love for Coach Bill Self. These people are akin to Nebraska football fans. Totally in love with a college team. And I hate them. Just as I hate Nebraska fans. 50 year old humans basing their self esteem on how a 19 year old kid plays a game is just sad. Hey, it's great to be a fan. It's another thing to really really care. I guess I just don't care that much anymore about any sports team. My heart's been stomped on by the Huskers, the Bears, the Twins, and anybody the Yankees or Cowboys beat. But I move on. Trust me, The Republicans do more damage to me on a daily basis than any sports team ever has.

So it was great to see the old Allen Fieldhouse. It was fun to watch a great college basketball team do its thing. It wasn't so much fun watching grown people getting so pissed off at a foul when they were winning by 12. It never is.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Bring Your Papers, Bristol!



Bristol Palin, fresh off the teabagger fueled 3rd place finish on some show where Z list "celebrities" dance and bored couch dwellers vote on who was the least worst, has paid cash (just like all real 'Mericans) for a 5 bedroom house in the Phoenix area so her and Tripper or Trigger or Trapper or whatever she named Sarah's photo op grandbastard can live in the antithesis of her beloved Alaska.

Rumor has it that Bristol wishes to go to college and the lucky college is that G.E.D. factory, Arizona State. The place that refused to bestow an honorary degree on the President of the United States because he "lacked accomplishment" but freely admits an Alaskan harpy? Oh man, I can't wait for the leaked online videos of the parties at the Bristol house when about 50 Sun Devil frat boys show their lovin' to the passed out Alaskan. I had no idea that ASU had a cosmetology program. Oh, and if ASU reconsiders admitting her, there's always the University of Phoenix. But Bristol dear, you didn't have to move there to establish residency if it's the U of P you want to attend. It's an online degree factory.

Great, another reason to root against those yellow pukes when they come to the College World Series every June.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas, The Twitter Was Full?



Merry Christmas to all courtesy of the funniest Christmas movie of all time, other than the Godfather of course. Randy Quaid has gone more batshit crazy than Cousin Eddie ever thought of being. Hope ya get better, Randy.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Birthday Max!




Happy 14th Birthday to Max. Just as big a rabble rouser as Max's Dad. We done good.

Monday, December 20, 2010

How's Your Health,Senator?



The DADT got the old heave ho on Saturday, thanks to Nancy Pelosi, the Senate Democrats and a few honest Republicans in the Senate. This antiquated rule that you cannot be who you are and serve your nation was about 17 years too late in being shitcanned. Oh I know that in 1993, the cowards and the religiously insane still ruled the roost and this stupid policy was the best that could be achieved but in retrospect, it looks a lot like the Dred Scott decision. Good riddance.

You know let's look at the roster of dishonest panderers, delusional snake handlers and just plain bigots in the U.S. Senate who voted to keep this dumbass policy intact.

1) Lamar Alexander (R-Tn) age 70. You'd think being a former Secretary of Education he'd have learned something. But then again it was under Bush 41. So he's a dope.

2) John Barrasso (R-Wy) age 58. He's a sawbones but he's from Wyoming where Matthew Shephard was considered a suicide. Hes a dope.

3) Bob Bennett (R-Ut) age 77. He's obviously religiously insane. He got beat by a teabagger, is leaving the Senate, and didn't have the balls to do the right thing. He's a cowardly dope.

4)Kit Bond (R-Mo) age 71. He's blind in one eye. Not to mention morally blind. He's a half blind dope.

5) Sam Brownback (R-Ks) age 54. He may be only 54, but he's 84 inside his head. He's a nutty dope.

6) Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga) age 67. He likes to hire people who post "all faggots must die" on message boards. So he's just a sick fuck. And he's a dope.

7) Tom Coburn (R-Ok) age 62. Did you know Oklahoma is the only state with a dumber Senator than Tom Coburn? This nitwit wanted to censor Schindler's List because there were some naked Jews in it. Being murdered. He's a moronic dope.

8) Thad Cochran (R-Ms) age 73. Not really sure about this guy. He's moderate by wingnut terms but he is 73. And he's a dope.

9) Bob Corker (R-Tn) age 58.Should a guy named "Bob Corker" really be voting this way? He's one of those for sale politicians who changes his views depending on the wind direction. He's a cynical dope.

10) John Cornyn (R-Tx) age 58. He's from Texas and he's equated same sex marriage with some guy marrying a box turtle. C'mon John, Mitch McConnell IS a box turtle and he's married. Cornyn's a dope.

11) Mike Crapo (R-Id). age 59. He says it's pronounced "Cray-po" but I'm not so sure.He's a who IS he dope.

12) Jim DeMint (R-SC) age 59. This belly crawler openly says gays shouldn't be allowed to teach and either should women who let their knickers down. He's a retard.

13) Mike Enzi (R-Wy) age 66. One of those types who leaps over a dead body to take his job. Enzi won election after his predecessor died in office. He's a ghoulish dope.

14) Lindsay Graham (R-SC) age 55. This guy's deeper in the closet than a Chilean miner. Self loathing AND a coward. He's a tiny little dope.

15) Chuck Grassley (R-Ia) age 77. In a former life I actually interviewed this guy. He seemed like a nice man. Guess I was wrong. He's a sneaky dope.

16) Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Tx) age 67. Big hair and all, she lacked the courage to do the right thing even though she's leaving the Senate. She's a texas sized dope.

17) Jim Inhofe (R-Ok) age 76. I'm surprised this guy hasn't sucked all the dumb out of the Senate by himself. Hes a fucking dope.

18) Johnny Isakson (R-Ga) age 66. Another wind changing soulless empty suit. He's a windmill looking dope.

19) Mike Johanns (R-Ne) age 60. He's such a dullard I can't even write anything bad about him. So perfect for Nebraska. He's a dishrag dope.

20) Jon Kyl (R-Az) age 68. He wants everybody to die in a nuclear war anyway so why the hell does he care if gay folks are in the military? He's a sunburned dope.

21) George Lemieux (R-Fl) age 41. He was chief of staff (hoo boy) to Florida Governor Charlie H Crist. So his vote makes no sense whatsoever. He's an enabling dope.

22) Richard Lugar (R-In) age 78. He seems a reasonable sort. Must have been the fact he's 78. He's an old dope.

23) John McCain (R-Az) age 74. Thank god this nut lost in '08. No man has destroyed his reputation more than this guy. He's a self flagellating dope.

24) Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) age 68. I'm not really sure how this mumbling turtle voted. He sounds like Foghorn Leghorn after a debilitating stroke. He's a down low dope.

25) Jim Risch (R-Id) age 67. He followed Larry Craig into the Senate. Not the first time I'm sure. He's a who the hell is he dope.

26) Pat Roberts (R-Ks) age 74. He's about two letters shy of being Pat Robertson. And about two IQ points shy of being an imbecile. He's a bald dope.

27) Jefferson Sessions (R-Al) age 64. This guy's middle name is actually "Beauregard". Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Third, boy. This neck has an actual 0% voting record on gay rights from the Human Rights Watch. He's a hateful dope.

28) Richard Shelby (R-Al) age 76. Compared to Sessions, your average Alabama rube must think he's some kinda lib. He's not. He's a turncoat dope.

29) John Thune (R-SD) age 49. He's running for President. To keep the teabagging fossils in his sights he must vote this way. He's 49 going on 99. He's an opportunist dope.

30) David Vitter (R-La) age 49. If it was letting hookers into the military, well now that'd be right up Vitter's alley, so to speak. He's a diaper wearing dope.

31) Roger Wicker (R-Ms) age 59. He said the Democrats were "willing to spill innocent soldiers blood" to repeal DADT. I wonder how he felt about "innocent soldiers" when he voted to send them to Iraq? He's a hypocritical dope.

There you go. Those 31 jerkoffs are akin to the neanderthals who voted against Civil Right Acts years ago. What's the common theme? The average age of these old white men and one woman is 64. Most of them are on their way out. Their successors will be younger and won't give a shit about how someone was born. These cro-magnons can't get off my planet fast enough.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Good Grief!



When's Obama going to stop fucking around with these people? These people, these Republicans in the Congress need to be dealt with. If he's not going to be the one to do it, well then goddamnit, get somebody who will. Fast.

When these Republican clowns take over the House in January, it's over. Unless Nancy Pelosi, with more political knowledge than the Boner ever thought of having decides to jam up the system. Christ, what am I thinking? The Republicans already have control of the Congress with their Jim Jones like cult following of a Kentucky closet case with a mumbling problem and the pussy Democrats afraid of their own shadow.

DADT failed last night, the result of more Republican bullshit and the cowardice of a Democrat from West Virginia. Yeah, the repeal of this bigoted policy got 57 votes and still failed to pass. Even Joe Lieberman got on board this time. But in today's Republican controlled Senate, that's not enough. Bigots like John McCain, Mike Johanns, Chuck Grassley, John Thune, and every Republican hayseed from south of the Mason-Dixon line are ecstatic. The Southern confederacy of Republican rubes is longing for the days of the 1960's, when if they hadn't had LBJ kicking their asses all over DC, they could have stalled Civil Rights legislation and kept them pesky negroes from voting and stopped that Kenyan Marxist from winning the Presidency. These people make me want to throw up my grits.

Obama has already proved his worth as a human being by "compromising" and allowing the rich puppet masters to have their tax cut continue (by the way if these "job creators" have been tax cutted for 10 years how come 750,000 jobs a month were going bye bye? Oh I see, the jobs were "created" in China). He was not willing to hurt the unemployed at the expense of calling the Republican bluff. But proving your worth as a human being isn't that hard when you're competing with soulless snakes. Bt I give him his due.

I'm rambling because I'm angry. Angry at Texas legislators wanting to replace Jews in the leadership poisitions of that distinguished body of morons. I'm angry at spineless weasels like Scott Brown for caving to Mitch "Yertle the Turtle" McCloset uhhh McConnell. I'm angry that cretins like Christine O'Donnell get book deals and express no sympathy whatsoever with the downtrodden, calling them "entitled". I'm angry that Twitter even exists do maniacs like John Bolton can call Obama scarier than terrorists. I'm angry some scrub Baltimore Oriole proves again that baseball players rival hockey players for dumbest athletes by expressing his birther views about "the birth certificate". And I'm angry that Obama will not fight back. C'mon man, we need Shaft, and all you got is Urkel?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Way Off Broadway!



We attended an off Broadway (about 1500 miles off Broadway to be precise) theater production of the Penny Dreadfuls this week. Max was the lead and the villain. The Professor to be exact, the leader of a gang of pickpockets in jolly old England during the 1800's, still a bit later than teabagger nirvana. It was first rate for a cast of 12 and 13 year olds. Jolly good in fact. Better acting than most of your Lifetime Movie Network originals I say!. Bravo to the cast of the Penny Dreadfuls!

Monday, November 29, 2010

How To Fake Outrage And Plug A Stupid Book At The Same Time!




I am just so baffled by this dumb bitch that I can't even say anything but "you dumb bitch". Sorry for the lowest common denominator but reasoning is out of the question when it comes to this retard. By the way, Wikileaks is not an American website.

Friday, November 26, 2010

I'ma Pickin' And I'ma Grinnin"!!!!



I've lived in Omaha (that's in Nebraska for you Midwestophobes) my entire life. I have had my moments of wanting to move to someplace else, usually when it comes to hearing small town minds with loud mouths. Death Cab For Cutie put it best when they sang "cuz in my head there's a Greyhound station, where I send my thoughts to far off destinations,so they may have a chance of finding a place where they're far more suited than here". Well that is all fine and dandy (how more Midwest can you get that that? Saying things like that means I can't ever leave) but that doesn't make anything better for those of us here that don't think progress is for liberal commie nancy boys that want to force you to go to art museums and eat non beef food served by effete snobs with skinny ties.

There's this thing here called "recall". It means if an elected official is a crook, a scalawag, a child molester, a wife beater (though years ago that didnt seem to matter to the folks here hint hint) you can gather up a certain amount of signatures from registered voters and force the elected official to resign or face a recall election. Twenty years ago, this city got all pissy about a Democratic mayor, Mike Boyle, because he threw butter patties at a sitting Governor during a dinner and got into a schlong showing contest with the police chief. The Republicans, errrr, citizens got all offended and got enough signatures to put him into a recall. He was gone. Yeah, recalled a mayor for being a lout. Gee, mayors are never allowed to kick some ass around here. Nope. At least Democratic mayors aren't.

Now, another Democratic mayor, Jim Suttle, not a wife beater, who won election a couple of years back against a former Republican mayor, Hal Daub, never convicted of anything, and inherited this shitty economy is facing recall. Why? We have built a new arena, a new baseball stadium, a pedestrian bridge across the Missouri River, developed the riverfront to a nice area that you can go without dodging rats and raccoons, attracted industry and turned old warehouses in the formerly dead downtown into beautiful loft apartments and condos. In other words since the Small Town Brigade recalled the mayor in 1988, this town has gone from Yawnsville to a city with a vision. Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa! The Small Town Brigade is back. Stop the progress! It might cost some money!

Mayor Suttle is one of the worst PR politicians ever. Granted. He bought a hybrid car for the city to show what a green mayor he would be. Unfortunately, he let a car dealer finance the car at 29% interest. Ugh. This city also loves its pickup trucks so hybrids are thought of as some sort of tree hugging conspiracy designed to force pickup truck owners to face up to their shortcomings. Oh I'm sorry. Suttle hired business people to try to straighten out the cities' finances. Unfortunately, he paid them more than their predecessors. This pissed off the "hey I'd do that job for half that money" crowd. The salaries were lowered but the damage was done. Then the fatal blow. The infamous 2 1/2 % restaurant tax. If you eat at your local Burger King and spend $20 for the family, well you owe an extra 50 cents. Why? Well because the Omaha Police Union demands it. When they retire after 20 years, they get a "pension". This pension is based on 75% of their last few years salary. So what do Omaha Police do in their 18th 19th and 20th years of work? They work TONS of overtime, or as it's called "spiking". This raises their pension to outrageous levels. This spiking has led to millions of dollars of shortfalls that the city has to make up. So guess who the city is? Us.

Now the only perfect humans ever to your average Small Town Brigader are Jesus Christ, and cops. Cops are perfect. They never ever do anything wrong. When they shoot people with cellphones in their hand, when they plant evidence, when they "retire" early due to "disability" yeah go ahead, no problem! You do the job, they scream. If you're not doing anything wrong...you know the mentality.

Suttle is taking the fall for this. He's the taxing guy. He's to blame. This crappy economy is his fault because he's there. And of course, he's a Democrat. The Small Town Brigade are teabaggers. 1776 is their year. This is what is going on here. The sudden stoppage of progress must be achieved. No solutions to the budgetary crisis of course. Just a bunch a horse's asses kicking down the barn.

Welcome to Hick Town USA. Again.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Why Does That Reverend Keep Saying God Is Fabulous!



Oh my goodness! You never know when the homosexual is about? Try your local megachurch, look up at the guy ranting on the altar or whatever you call it. He is "about".

In this day and age of teen suicides, teen alcoholism, teen depression and teens being teens, who in the hell is pro-bullying? Well try your average bigot writing for the World Nut Daily. Linda Harvey, writing for that esteemed web site, claims the homosexual agenda is to blame for suicides, not closet cased puritans like her. Take the Reverend Rick DeMato of the Liberty Baptist Church of Helena, Montana,please. The good Rev opposes anti-bullying guidelines proposed by the local school board because "We do not want the minds of our children to be polluted with the things of a carnal-minded society." Take the Anoka-Hennepin School District in Minnesota, again please. Placating religious zealots in their anti-bullying guidelines, they forced teachers to stay all Obama when it comes to gay parenting and sexual identity. In other words, they say nothing.

Everybody wants to throw up in their mouth a little when they see the Phelps' clan protesting at some dead soldier's funeral, right? Well to be against anti-bullying legislation because of your 1950's paranoia means you may as well change your name to Phelps and start having carnal relations with your extra chromosomed half sister.

Wake up! The teabaggers still believe that film above is Best Documentary Oscar material. It's going to be a rocky ride in the same car with these dimwits for the next couple of years. Let's just hope the collateral damage can be kept to a minimum.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Mother No Oh Mother, Blood Blood!



Good God, like we haven't seen enough of these nutty Republicans over the last few months, they have to bring back the one who started this descent into craziness? George W Bush is pimping his book all over Teabag America and telling crazy stories about how he was the voice of reason before invading the wrong country and how the low moment of his disastrous reign of error wasn't 9/11 or thousands of drowning fellow Americans in New Orleans but when some "singer" told the nation that he didn't care about black people? Well Jesus, Duh, Kanye!

But nothing explains the Bush psyche' better than the story of Babs and the fetus. Seems Barbara Bush had a miscarriage back before she turned into a George Washington impersonator and showed teenage George W his little brother or sister in a jar. What the fuck??? Gawdammmm.....No wonder he became a drunk. In fact I need a drink myself after hearing that. I wonder if there's a movement to nominate Fetus Bush/Palin in 2012?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Usa Hussein? I Thought There Were Only Uday And Qusay!



Yeah that's a sign at a church in Harlem put up by a criminal, Pastor David Manning. Manning is a jailbird from way back who decided after 3 1/2 years in a cage to change his former criminal ways to a whole new brand of criminal ways. Religion.

If we locked up every religious criminal (boy would that be great or what?) they'd have to throw all the pot smokers out on the street and thanks to the voters in the whole United States (after all everything starts in Caleefornia)we cannot do that.So Manning continues to run his con and get all sorts of fans.

Like Ann Coulter. He tweeted the picture around exclaiming that he had a new church. Then the Snow Grifter from Wasilla forwarded Mr.Coulter's tweet onward to her mouth breathing fans. And now, The Snowbilly has withdrawn the tweet as an "accident". Come on, Parasailin', pay that 10 year old Hindu kid who does your tweets more so "accidents" like that don't happen again.

As for Mr.Coulter, I'd like to kick him right in his nutsack.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Dude, They Should Make Votin' Easy Like American Idol!



Nice going,slackers! You stayed home and let the old, scooter ridin' Medicare suckers determine your future. 10% of the voters were under 30 and 25% of the voters had one foot in the crematorium. You can be baked to a crisp and figure that math aint gonna fly. Oh well, at least the teabaggers cost themselves the Senate.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Vote!



Vote today. Or do you want this guy to win? It's that simple. Please vote.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Teabag Nation- Douchebag Edition!



The final category for the Teabaggers is the douchebags, the wingnuts, the disgraces. The ones who are already there or about to be.

1)Joe Barton (R-Tx)--- this is the guy who apologized to British Petroleum for letting our Gulf get in the way of their felonious ways. If the Republicans take control of the House, this goofy sonuvabitch is in line to chair the Energy and Commerce Committee, a truly frightening scenario. Perhaps Texas seceding is a good thing.

2)John Culberson (R-Tx)--- is there a pattern emerging already? WTF is up with Texas? Freaking secede already! Culberson once wrote a letter to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton regarding the most pressing problem of our time. The British travel ban on Michael Savage. She responded to have Savage change his name back to Weiner and travel at will (I made that part up). He's also one of the Birthers who wants to see Obama's birth certificate. And he's in the House to stay.

3) Paul Broun (R-Ga)--- this douchenozzle is already in Congress also. He has compared Obama to Hitler and claimed Obama would establish a "Gestapo-like" security force to enforce health care. He also referred to the Civil war as "the great war of Yankee aggression". And that was in 2010! This knuckledragging nitwit is also poised to head the House Science Committee if the Republicans win the House.

4) Virginia Foxx (R-NC)---she may be the dumbest member of Congress. That's saying something. She has voted against aid to Hurricane Katrina victims, voted no on renewing the Voting Rights Act and called the Matthew Shepard murder a "hoax". She has also said that the health care bill is a bigger threat than any terrorist. Kind of like she is athreat to North Carolina's collective IQ.

5)Jean Schmidt (R-Oh)--- a dead ringer for that crazy teacher in Donnie Darko, Schmidt recently lectured 6 year olds on the evils of abortion. Some may never recover since most of them were squarely in the stork brings babies corner. She has agreed with birthers on video. She also recently asked or an apology from an anti-tax group that had a cake made with her Margaret Hamilton like mug on it. Why? Because they cut it up and ate it. Obviously another assassination attempt. She's Bat Schmidt crazy.

6) Ben Quayle (hopefully nothing-AZ)--- the son of the dopiest Vice President ever actually makes his old potatoe head father seem quaint and somewhat charming. He's run a TV ad calling Obama "the worst President in history". He was the lead sexter on the "Dirty Scottsdale" website. He sent out a flyer with pictures of his wife and kids yet he has no kids. They were loaners apparently. Quayle trails in the polls and will not win. That's the great thing about America, we don't elect the sons of ex-Veeps or ex-Presidents. Oops!

7) Marsha Blackburn (R-Tn)---this blonde harpie almost got into a fistfight with Al Gore when she implied he was a climate change advocate for his own greed. She rails against Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. She has railed against money spent on Katrina victims. Blackburn is truly a sweet talking mean girl. Don't let that southern drawl fool ya. She's every bit as nasty as that screeching bandsaw from Alaska.

8) Allen West (Nut-Fl)--- a retired (thank god) lieutenant colonel running for Congress in Florida has claimed to have a higher security clearance than President Obama. This despite the fact the Army ran him out of town for firing a pistol near an Iraqi man's head during an interrogation. He recently claimed 47% of Americans pay no taxes and still are "able to vote for their own entitlement programs – be it free healthcare, free education, free cars, free cellphones ". What does West know about taxes? He had a bit of an $11,000 IRS problem himself. And the guy is winning?

9)Trent Franks (R-Az)--- this sun baked sot has called Obama "an enemy of humanity". He's also claimed blacks were better off as slaves than they are now. He asked the House Sergeant at Arms to look for "Muslim spies" on congressional committees. Franks is living proof that Arizona and its 24-7 stove top heat causes brain rot.

10) Lee Terry (R-Ne)--- so completely unknown that Evil Dick Cheney once referred to him as "Terry Lee" while campaigning for him, this Nebraska nerd is my congressman. So allow me to rant on this dork. He wins, but by decreasing margins each time. If his district was Omaha alone, he would be back in his law office chasing his tail. But because the Republican hacks in the Nebraska legislature gerrymandered his district to include a county full of miltary retirees, he wins by 3 or 4 points each time. Terry is as worthless a congressman as there is. He does whatever he's told, is fully owned by the drug companies, can change his stripes to whatever audience he's lying to and hides behind others while defending himself in his TV ads. Terry is truly a geek, a dork AND a nerd. That's his greatest accomplishment. Go away!

The douchebags of the right make life difficult. Some of them are entrenched, revealing many American voters to be douchebags themselves. But many can be thrown away after Novemeber 2nd. let's make sure it happens. Vote, Damn it!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Teabag Nation- Winner's Edition



There are teabaggers who are going to win their elections on Tuesday. After all, there are always nuts running around Congress elected by nuts back home. It's inevitable, but this year is different. Some of these teabaggers are plain crazy. Crazy doesn't win. Or does it? Here are some crazies who may win.

1) Sharron Angle--- There are two bad things a candidate can be. Stupid or crazy. It's seldom you ever see both. Sharon Angle is both. And she has a real shot at getting sent to D.C. by stupid and crazy Nevada-ans. Oh you all know Sharon Angle by now. Second Amendment remedies. Making rapey lemons into rapey lemonade. The press should ask questions she likes. You look Asian. Medicare and Medicaid are against the first commandment. Running away from TV reporters. Christ, she doesn't even know how to spell "Sharon". This is the woman who refuses to talk to the press any longer because they have the audacity to report the stupid shit that comes out of her piehole. Come on, Nevada, Harry Reid is a spineless weasel, but Sharron Angle is Forrest Gump. Stupid is as stupid does.

2) Rand Paul--- this guy makes his loony old man look normal. Paul is so nutty he doesn't even know he's nutty. He started off his campaign to become Senator from Kentucky by telling Rachel Maddow he doesn't really think anybody who owns a business should be forced to deal with minorities if they don't want to. He called Obama "un-American" for not kowtowing to those earth rapists at BP. He dismissed mine fatalities by stating "sometimes accidents happen". Man, that's the truth if I ever heard it. Rand Paul is about to becomes a United States Senator.

3)John Raese---West Virginia was at least smart enough once to not want to be a part of Virginia. Then after they split they went off and came up with the new name "West Virginia"? Well maybe not so smart. John Raese is a teabagger out to replace Robert Byrd in the Senate. Raese is one of those guys who runs all the time and loses all the time. But this time, Raese may win. He has brought in serial adulterer and animal murderer, Ted Nugent and serial dumbass, The Quitta from Wasilla to campaign for him and his stupid ideas. Do away with the minumum wage? In West Virginia they like this idea? Really? Oh yeah, it's West Virginia.

4)Ken Buck---this Colorado cuckoo is in real danger of becoming a Senator. This guy is too crazy for the pro-lifers there as they yanked their endorsement the other day. Buck, probably most famous for dissing the birthers as "dumbasses", is living proof of that blind squirrel finding a nut proverb. He's called the President the greatest threat to the nation, wanted to repeal the 17th Amendment and then didn't, probably after he read the damned thing and throws the word "bullshit" around like nickels. Not that I object to the word "bullshit", I just object to bullshitters using it so much. Buck also objects to that old "separation of church and state" bullshit that so baffles the Delaware duo. As a former prosecutor Buck has said that a rape victim suffered from "buyer's remorse". Come on, Colorado, come down to the normal air, wise up, and send this goof home.

5) Louie Gohmert--- he's already in office. A Congressman from , where else? ,Texas. He's claimed that terrorist cells are creating terrorist fetuses to eventually blow up Americans in about 20 or 30 years. Wonder how pro-life he is on those terrorist blastocysts?

6) Michele Bachmann and Steve King--- the Morticia and Gomez Addams of the House of Representatives are probably both going back to the Congress where they will praise each other on the floor and call each other stunning. Why don't these two just get a rubber room? I wonder what happens when Bachmann speaks French to King. Oh yeah, that would require way too much intellect on either's part. Iowa and Minnesota are such common sense places. Except in two places apparently.

7) Carly Fiorina--- Oh she's not really a teabagger, nor is she going to win, but she is a conjoined twin to Meg Whitman. In other words, she has the compassion of a pissed off cobra. Outsourcing 200,000 jobs and running Hewlett Packard into the ground while collecting millions in compensation? Oh yeah, California, send that hack to Washington D.C. She is sooooooo yesterday.

8) Dino Rossi--- never heard of him? Well, he has a real chance of becoming the next Teabagger Senator out of Washington. This foreclosure profiteer has been another one of those O'Donnell perennial losers who run for everything and win nothing. Kind of like me in a 5K race. But I'm no danger to the republic. Rossi is. Or rather his supporters are. A Rossi supporter threatened Patty Murray supporters with a meat cleaver, another Rossi fan went all Rand Paul supporter on some Rossi protestor by attacking her in front of Republican HQ. Washington, calm down. And re-elect Patty Murray.

9) Linda McMahon--- the former CEO of a wrestling organization that glorifies idiocy and misogyny, Vince's beard, errr, wife has spent $50 million of her own money in an attempt to get to the Senate. I wonder if she knows that life in the Senate, as ridiculous as it appears, is real. Bruno Sammartino isn't going to rush onto the floor of the Senate and hit Al Franken with a foreign object in the middle of a debate. She does know that, right? That's what kills me about fans of people like McMahon and Meg Whitman. They spend money like a wrestling fan at the beer stand and tell you how fiscally responsible they are. And it hardly ever works. But at least the drooling fans of McMahon can wear their WWE gear at the polling place on Tuesday thanks to more wisely spent money on a lawsuit filed by Vince.

This is getting depressing. These people may actually win, along with Pat Toomey in Pennsylvania, Marco Rubio in Florida, Ron Johnson in Wisconsin and Mark Kirk in Illinois. They must be stopped on Tuesday. With First Amendment remedies. Please vote.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Teabag Nation-Loser's Edition!



Well they're all losers, frankly, but unfortunately, some of them are going to win and head off to D.C. with Granny ridin' shotgun. Let's look at the sure losers.

1) Christine O'Donnell--- even though right wing blog sites are trumpeting her "surge" in the polls, this blithering idiot is going down to defeat. Whether it's her expressing wonderment that apes don't evolve into humans at the Dover Zoo, or her belief the First Amendment doesn't cover religion, or the fact she's just a grinning nitwit, she has possibly cost the Republicans the Senate. Thanks ,Old Christine!

2) Meg Whitman--- her campaign ad from last week is classic. She moved to California for the great economic opportunity 30 years ago. Who was California's Governor 30 years ago? Jerry Brown. Thanks for pointing that out, Meg. This woman's arrogance and ego are outweighed by only her massive forehead. Go away, Mrs. E-Bay. Deporting your former housekeeper? You are truly an awful human being.

3) Stephen Broden---this dimwitted black Texas Republican is running against a Democratic congressional incumbent, Eddie Bernice Johnson, who got caught diverting scholarship money from deserving students to her own grandchildren and defended it. Who better to lose to a teabagger than that woman? Well, Stephen Broden is going to make sure that doesn't happen. He likes to say things like if he loses, violent revolution is on the table. Great, Steve, who do you think you are, Sharon Angle? When Broden isn't serving as Glenn Beck's houseboy, he's blaming Saul Alinsky for Hurricane Katrina. But the worst news for this kookyburger is he got the endorsement of one Caribou Barbie. That's the kiss of death.

4) Joe Miller--- the Republican Senate nominee from the Fugitive State apparently thinks he can have his own police force. Kind of like a bearded Bill O'Reilly and his secret Fox News secuirty force he unleashes on infidels. Miller's goons actually "arrested" and handcuffed a journalist who asked too damn many questions. Miller, who also believes unemployment insurance to be "unconstitutional" even though his wife gladly took that "unconstitutional" money has sunk in the polls to third place, behind a Democrat and the incumbent, Leesa Mucowskee (thats how you spell it, Alaska Republicans) who is running as a write in. Miller is a thug, plain and simple. And yes, he has the endorsement of one Northern Overexposure. He's going down to defeat, Tawwwwwwwwd.

5)Carl Paladino--- This dope is running on the Republican ticket for Governor of New York. By now, everybody knows his temper is a bit of a problem. If you threaten to "take out" a New York Post reporter, jesus christ, how right wing ARE you? Paladino has offered to house the poor in prisons because "many young people would want to getthe hell out the cities". Really, Carl? Have fun managing your gay nightclubs after November 2nd.

6)Al Reynolds--- this Illinois teabagger recently said at a candidate forum sponsored by the League of Women Voters AND by the NAACP that African American men preferred dealing drugs to going to college because it's easier. The quote is bad enough but what really makes this guy a freaking idiot is he did it at an NAACP sponsored event? Even Reynolds should vote against himself for that move.

7)Glen Urquhart---Running for Delaware's only House seat are you? You and O'Donnell are the best Delaware Republicans can come up with? Wow, that's a whole lot of dumb for such a tiny state. Urquhart was recently caught on tape telling an audience of mouth breathers "the exact phrase separation of church and state came out of Adolph Hitler's mouth....so the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of church and state, ask them why they're Nazis?" For the love of Ronnie Reagan, what is it about that phrase that so trips up Delaware teabaggers?

All of these teabaggers will lose on Tuesday. Oh, there are more of these kooks, but they may actually win. We can talk about those whackjobs later. Remember to vote and send more of these people back to Crazy Land where they can tune up their tin foil tricorn hats and hide in their basements. It is a MUST to vote on Tuesday, or that Halloween costumed freak at the top of this page will become everybody's crazy Uncle Ernie. And he will be in charge. Shudder.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Fear The Beard!




The baseball season is almost over. Dammit. Go Giants! And good luck to 71 year old Maurice Mad Dog Vachon in the role of Giants closer!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Let's Idiot Proof Our House!



There seem to be two different sets of reality going on in this country lately. There's the reality most of us live in, where 2+2=4 and taxes pay for streets and roads and the President of the United States was born in Hawaii and we are fighting a war in Afghanistan for god knows what reason and it is the year 2010. Then there's a whole other reality out there. Where facts are wrong, what I believe is right no matter what, the President is a secret Muslim, 2 1/2 million people showed up to hear a charlatan named Beck speak, Saddam Hussein attacked us on 9/11, my liberty is being taken away because Sean Hannity told me so, 2010 America is just like Nazi Germany, FEMA runs secret indoctrination camps, and stupid is the new smart.

Stupid is taking over, or rather threatening to take over. Where did this anti-intellectualism come from? Was it because John McCain, perhaps the biggest soul dropping bastard ever, chose that hot Governor from Alaska and a whole bunch of horny white men and their stupid wives lost their ever loving minds? She's just like us. Yeah, an idiot.

When did being an idiot qualify you to actually make decisions that matter? I don't care if your average idiot makes a decision to go to Chili's or Applebees? All us idiots make those decisions everyday. But for your average idiot to decide fiscal policy, approve Supreme Court justices, fund wars, give tax breaks to criminals, and kiss corporate ass to outsource jobs is a whole 'nuther deal.

Yet these teabagger types, pissed off white people scared to death of losing the home field advantage, are threatening to send idiots galore to the Congress. White idiots. Idiots just like them. We have the power to stop them. Will we use it? Or are WE the real idiots?

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Messin With Texas?



Not again. The Twins and the Huskers have mental blocks against teams I hate. I need to crawl back into a cave for awhile.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Chile? I Like Mine Without Beans!



I am captivated by this story. The Chilean miners being rescued one by one. I can't stop watching it. I've smiled, laughed and cried at this story all day long. It is just as obsessive as back when Baby Jessica was trapped in the well back in the 80's. It's just as interesting as when the Russians helped free those trapped whales back in the 90's. This is great stuff.

In between the news of the rescued miners, the cable networks would go back to regular programming and it made realize something. This rescue of 33 human beings in Chile is what the whole world should be watching. It has brought a lot of the world together. Then I see American politicians, specifically teabaggers, splitting us apart. I assume teabaggers would let these men die. Screw 'em. They took that shitty job, let'em deal with the consequences. Don't be spending my tax money on that kind of nonsense. Rescuing miners? In Chile? Bah! Now give me my farm subsidy and my social security, I'm late for my taxpayer supported doctor's appointment.

This country is in tough shape. Financially certainly, but morally we are even more bankrupt if these teabagging clowns assume control. There will be no more society. It will be social Darwinism unleashed. Ayn Rand, the selfish creep, will be required reading and St.Francis of Assisi will be considered some bleeding heart pansy ass.

I have no doubt some of these nuts will win. But to keep any of them out of the limelight is a necessity. Bury these people in November. Then refuse to rescue them. Touche'!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Another Bully Wins!l



I've about had it with bullies. Whether it's lunatic teabaggers hollering at fraidycat Democratic Congressmen, or geeky teenaged closet cases harassing nerdy classmates or asshats at Rutgers secretly taping a kid having sex with another guy and thinking how hilarious it would be to put it on the web. Yeah, fucking awesome. The victim decided to throw himself off the George Washington Bridge he was so humiliated. Now his bully roommate, Dharan Ravi, and female bully, Molly Wei, have been charged with some invasion of privacy bullshit charge. They need to be charged with a hate crime, and go away to a prison for quite a while to think about their asshattery.

The victim, 18 year old Tyler Clementi, was an accomplished musician who'd won scholarships and awards. I would think the two bullies, Dharan Ravi and Molly Wei, Indian and Chinese, would have some sort of compassion for other people perceived as being different. But no, bullies leap on others faster than a teabagger jumps on the crazy train. This train derailed big time. Bullying needs to be stopped but I'm not naive enough to think it ever will be stopped.

So instead I ask that bullies be stood up to. By us all. Bullies are chickenshits and if everyone realized that, they would cease to exist. So kick a bully's ass as soon as possible. Do it for your country.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

From The Halls Of Schwules Museum To The Shores Of Fire Island!



Looks like the United States Senate overwhelmingly voted to keep those damn homos in their military footlockers for now. By a one sided vote of 43-56, Senate Republicans, stuck together like, well you get the picture, along with both Democratic Senators from Northern Louisiana, have beat back an attempt to let American citizens, selflessly serving their nation, from being who they are. Yes, the Don't Ask Don't Tell nonsense remains law because of that 43-56 massacre.

Senate Republicans also congratulated the Minnesota Vikings on their 10-14 win over Miami and on and on and on, culminating with Lindsey Graham and David Vitter kissing in celebration.

Really, in all seriousness, is this 2010? Is John McCain really this big of a douchenozzle? Are Senate Republicans simply protecting their kids from being drafted by claiming to have "experimented"? Is this America?

Well of course it is. Cheap political hacks, with more in waiting, are running away with this game. You win when you lose by 13? What other political body allows this type of thuggery? Well, it's the United States Senate that leads the way in this pussyboy behavior. Allowing 43 cowards to control your little club? You should be ashamed. I know they aren't but they should be.

Personally, I cannot wait for future Delaware Senator Christine O'Donnell to propose the new military policy of DJDT (Dont Jerk Dont Tell). And I wish her success. There will be no more military and ,therefore, no more wars. Yay!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Teabagging In Ohio!



The teabaggers are getting cocky. Some group of elderly misfits in Ohio called "the Freedom Institute of Erie County" sent out a questionnaire to political candidates asking their views in a highly non-partisan way. I don't know about you, but ANY group with the word "freedom" in their name is hiding something. Like their opposition to freedom for instance. Anyway, let's take a look at their non-partisan inquiries in the quest for "freedom" (and how I'd answer).

1. The Right to Life is a Constitutional right, therefore innocent human beings should have legal protection from conception until natural death. If you hold any exceptions please state them.

The only exception I can think of is Medicare sucking teabaggers. Bring on the death panels. Does natural death include starving children?

2. The regulation of Carbon Dioxide in our atmosphere should be left to God and not government and I oppose all measures of Cap and Trade as well as the teaching of global warming theory in our schools.

The only thing I want to cap is your mouths and trade you to God for a rational human being to be named later.

3. Marriage is defined as being between a man and a woman, any other type of Union is not marriage.

Well that's not true because two men can get "married" in Iowa and Massachusetts and New Jersey and Connecticut and soon to be in Ohio. It's inevitable, like you misspelling your signs.

4. Children should not be placed into foster homes where the parents are homosexual, bisexual, or transgender.

How about alcoholics and drug addicts and domestic abusers and child abusers, you know, those "normal" people?

5. Parental consent should be required for sex education that teaches more than direct abstinence.

Tell your 35 year old grandmother that.

6. The second Amendment to the Constitution [the right to keep and bear arms] should not be weakened in any way.

yeah, fuck that well regulated militia crap.

7. Only US citizens should be allowed to vote and a photo ID should always be required to vote. (The Mexican government requires a photo ID and fingerprint).

Can I buy you a one way ticket to Mexico?

8. I oppose Ohio’s State Income Tax.

I thought they were the Ohio's State Buckeyes? Sorry, I was driving down the public street and a fire engine siren distracted me.

9. I oppose the Obama Health Care Reform and would like to see more affordable healthcare through a competitive, open, and transparent system.

I love my insurance company as much as the next guy and I love my right to be screwed around by them. The only thing transparent here is your organization's collective IQ.

10. I oppose the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy of the military and believe that all same sex partners should be banned from combat duty in the military because of the propensity to transmit blood-borne diseases in the theatre of battle.

The theater of battle sounds so gay. Are you sure you guys aren't friends on Facebook with Larry Craig and David Drier?

11. I support a law that will allow the people to place on a ballot all collective bargaining agreements of all government associations, unions, and guilds, for their expressed approval. Defeat of such an agreement would mean government workers would not be immune from the free market system.

Damned government workers ought to work for food ,like that guy on the corner with the sign that's spelled correctly.

12. I oppose card check for voting to implement a Union as this could give unions an unfair intimidation tactic to implement unionisation.

Last time I checked, most questions end with a ?. Speaking of card checks, I'll see you blue hairs at the casino tonight, blowing your welfare, errrr, social security checks.

13. I am not an economic pacifist. I believe that we need to protect our economic borders in order to ensure free and fair trade. Tariffs should be used to stop the wealth and jobs of Americans from leaving her borders.

Yeah, buy American, unless it's made by one of those commie bastards in a union.


14. The Federal Reserve as it is currently conceived needs to be abolished or at the very least audited.

Sounds like my very wish for the teabagger movement.

15. I advocated moving our currency to a debt-free supply-side labour-based currency.

Who the hell wrote that one for you? Adam Smith? You dumbasses have no idea what that even means. But I'm sure the cannon fodder in Afghanistan would be happy to come home once that one was passed.

Well there ya go. The "Freedom Institute of Erie County" questionnaire. Oh, and one question. What European homo wrote those questions for you? "unionisation", "labour" and "theatre"? Seriously, Ohio teabaggers, I expected better from you. Like asking your real question. "Do you support that n***** in the White House?"

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Teabagging In Delaware!



Congrats to the teabaggers for nominating Christine O'Donnell for the United States Senate seat from Delaware. This is just too damn funny to pass up.

Google her to read what whackjob she is, because by god, she won't google herself.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

A Warning To Democrats!



OK. I am officially concerned about these midterm elections coming up. Yeah even though this Glenn Beck rally only drew 87,000 dimbulbs in one size too small t shirts and no one with any brains actually listened to Elmer Gantry, all 87,000 of those dopes are going to vote. Last time I checked, delusional, "oppressed" white people are allowed to vote. This concerns me.

Are we going to vote? Are we going to stop these people from sending genuine lunatics like Sharon Angle or Carly Fiorina or Rand Paul or Ken Buck or Joe Miller to the United States Senate? Now I'm no fan of the Senate as a whole. I often feel it should be abolished, I mean come on, Nebraska has two Senators and so does California? Wyoming has two Senators as does New York? Red states are way to overrepresented in that body but nonetheless, it's not going away. We have to vote, people. If we stay home, they win. Can you imagine? It would be anarchy. These nuts don't believe in government in any way, shape or form. They trust capitalism. Unregulated capitalism. They trust Goldman Sachs or BP or Citibank or Union Carbide to actually behave in responsible ways without government regulation. Oops, sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Sharon Angle is not only dense, she's plain dangerous. Rape victims need to turn to God and have their rape babies, I assume due to government "regulation" forbidding abortions ? She is the typical moonbat we've been seeing since the 60's. Out of the UN. Privatize Social Security. Abolish the Department of Education. Second Amendment "remedies" to losing elections. Harry Reid may be worthless, but he's not Sharon Angle worthless.

Rand Paul is maybe even nuttier than Sharon Angle. Obeying the Civil Rights Act should be voluntary? Coal Miners don't need safety regulation? Fining BP is "un-American"? Extending unemployment benefits encourages "drug use"? Aqua Buddha? Paul makes his Dad sound like a complete milquetoast akin to Ben Nelson. Ugh!

Carly Fiorina is "so yesterday". This woman was named one of the 20 Worst American CEO's of all time" by Conde Nast. This puts her in great company with such luminaries as Ken Lay and Roger Smith. She ran Hewlett Packard into the ground so bad they paid her $20 million to get the fuck out. 18,000 people lost their jobs to this Lizzy Borden like CEO and in the days after she was paid to leave, HP stock soared. Yeah, California, send this self promoting leech to the Senate.

Ken Buck, Senate candidate from Colorado, did call birthers "dumbasses" which means he's only 98% nuts. He does wish to repeal the 17th Amendment which provides for direct election of U.S. Senators. He wants you to vote for him because he "doesn't wear high heels"? While District Attorney of Weld County, Colorado he seized tax records of 5,000 folks as part of a witch hunt on alleged illegals. The Colorado Supreme Court said whoa there, Bucko. He was forced to take ethics classes while working for the Justice Department. Why? I guess because he's an unethical son of a bitch.

Joe Miller beat out Lisa Murkowski in the Alaska Senate Republican primary. What? Alaska is really a state? That's a whole other post to be done. Why they admitted a place full of drifters, deadbeats and derelicts as a state is beyond me. Another reason to abolish the Unite States Senate I guess. Joe Miller says his campaign will be funded by "God". Joe Miller wants to do away with Social Security by spreading the lie that the system is pending bankruptcy. Joe Miller has 8 kids. That means he gets 10 dividend checks from the Alaska Permanent Fund, a government "shakedown" of the oil industry pushed by Caribou Barbie. He may have gotten $32,000 in "entitlements" from the "government". Joe Miller is going to win, and he's a complete sociopath. Way to go, Alaska. Please go away.

This is what we face if we don't vote. I have no chance to get rid of these nuts because I don't live in any of those states. But these people scare me. These teabaggers are serious. They want their country back. You know, that country where they run stuff and minorities stay in their place and women stay home (unless running for office) and the kids all act like Beaver Cleaver. You know, fantasyland. But remember, fantasy trumps reality in most people's minds. Let's get out there for reality's sake!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Twitter Rhymes with What?



I don't like Twitter. I don't care for people who Twitter and I despise people who subscribe to Twitters. I don't give a damn that you're drunk at the Dew Drop Inn and some hot harpy is eyeing you (probably with her finger on the cell phone's 911).

But I hate, absolutely hate with the heat of a Glen Beck lie, politicians who twitter. The people who subscribe to a politician's twits, or is it tweets, or in Caribou Barbie's case, twats, need to be deported to that special whites only country they long for. Alaska.

Take note of the human bloodhound's latest twit. Fred Thompson is a slow talkin' country boy with a much younger wife waiting for him to drop dead. He ran for President, picking up the endorsement of such heavyweights as Representative Lee Terry of Nebraska. Terry's much sought after endorsement proved too much for Beauregard Thompson's chances and he dropped out. Thompson's twit is so utterly absurd, I'm sure Twitter is embarrassed enough to shut down. Or it should be. "If Obama had had his way, Saddam would be making that speech in Baghdad"? Had Had? Who the hell wrote that for Rufus, Bristol Palin? Saddam announcing the end of American combat ops? This is so stupid, made just for Thompson's tens of subscribers I'm sure, Twitter really needs to cease ops now, too. Why would Saddam be announcing anything if Obama had his way? Listen, Fred, if Obama "had had" his way, 4400 American kids would still be alive and thousands more would still have their limbs and minds and the United States would still have a couple of trillion dollars. Instead the entire country will fall back into civil war, Iran will run things, and you will wish an evil prick like Saddam was still around to buffer that area between Iran and Afghanistan.

But hey, this is America 2010, my friends. Dumber and dumber by the day. Taught by morons limited to 70 letters and limited brainpower. Twitter makes Facebook seem like Shakespeare. A plague on both your houses.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Levi, You Dodged The Bullet!



All I can say is my ears hurt. Levi, you are so lucky you don't have to climb on board that family's crazy train any longer.

Kudos to that lady from Homer, Duhlaska for having the guts to confront that condescending, sarcastic fraud and her chip off the old block daughter.

I am still shivering from the screech. And note at about 1:13 when the woman tells The Quitta that she's a "teacher", the "oh you're a commie" head nod.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Satan Is Laughing with Delight Again!



I really don't like any religions. The most destructive force this world has ever known is religion, or more specifically, it's most dedicated followers. So just to make clear where I'm coming from here, I practice no religion, I am not denying you your right to believe whatever you want, I cheer you if religious beliefs bring you peace and help you cope with life, I think that atheists are just as big of a pain in the ass as your born agains, and finally, I really wish all religion would be practiced in private, like that long haired hippie socialist with the Hispanic name used to preach a long time ago. There, it's said.

Should you be able to build a mosque three blocks from Ground Zero? Well first of all, with the turtle speed ANYTHING is being done at Ground Zero, building a mosque three blocks away perhaps could give the pandering politicians ideas on how to get off their ass and DO SOMETHING about that hideous hole in the ground. So my answer is why not? Have you seen Ground Zero? Have you been to lower Manahattan? This isn't Crabapple Cove. It's lower Manhattan. There are gillions of buildings all over the place. NOBODY would even know what the hell is three blocks away from that giant hole in the ground. Three New York City blocks, not three Mufreesboro, Tennessee or Temecula, California blocks.

The reason I mention those two cities is because both have seen protests over the building of mosques in their respective towns. The above picture is from Tennessee. Gee, guess which side wants to stop the mosque? Generally I decide to join protests one way. Which side has more American flags? I go to the other side. Something about that last refuge of a scoundrel quote.

Now I realize a lot of Americans are scared to death of Muslims, Islams, or people wearing funny hats, like Shriners. A lot of Americans think a mosque is a place full of bearded whack jobs mixing chemicals and plotting to blow up the local VFW hall on the the weekly Pork Chop night. You know something, they are only 98% wrong. There are mosques that preach hate, just as there are churches that preach hate, synagogues that preach hate, and VFW halls that preach hate. You can' stop it. Some people are crazy, like those Don't Tread On Me flag wavers. Stay away from those nuts, trust me.

Now Christianity and it's followers, which are the majority of Americans, though I assume about 75% of them are phony hypocrites, preach love. They love their Jesus. They love their God. They say that, but do they mean it? In Temecula, California, numerous christian protesters brought their dogs to the site of the proposed mosque so the dog could pee and slobber on the site. You know how Muslims feel about dogs? It's like jamming a steak down a Catholic's throat at a beer fueled fish fry. It's like letting a pig loose at a bar mitzvah. It's rude, and it's cruel. A guy in Texas held pig races on a proposed site for a mosque. Not loving there, Christians.

Of course, many of these protests are egged on by opportunists like Newt Gingrich, and complete morons like The Quitta from Wasilla. Politicians are the antithesis of religious folk. Those cynical phonies deserve derision from the believers, not support. Yet here we are, in 2010, listening to scam artists and their bullcrap. But why would I expect any different? The bullcrap flows like wine every Saturday and Sunday in any mosque, church, synagogue and VFW Hall.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Blatherings Not From Caribou Barbie!



I can't believe everything's so awesome I haven't posted in a long time. Well scratch that thought cuz it's not so awesome but here we go.

1) Earl Benjamin Nelson is still the biggest tool in the United States Senate. This pandering nitwit has now catered to the nuts of the NRA in his never ending attempt to suck Republican Nebraska's cornhole. The only Democrat to oppose the Kagan nomination to the Supreme Court because she's not nutty gunny enough for him? Oh that's a new one, Earl, usually you are kissing the pro life hypocrites right on the tight lips. Most Republicans can't wait for 2012, when our midget Governor or his bug eyed child marriage opponent Attorney General take him down. I just can't wait for this phony Democrat to change parties, which I absolutely guarantee he will do. Get lost, you helmet haired suckass.

2) The closet cases who make up the American Family Association have called for the impeachment of Judge Vaughn Walker, who you might know as the gay Bush appointee who overturned Prop 8 out in California, upsetting the achte lieber out of closet case Governor Terminator. The AFA claims no homosexual should hold public office because they might let their "sexual proclivities" compromise their ability to be impartial judges when it comes to gay issues. The AFA also seems to think the Feds should have nothing to say about gay marriage as it is not in the Constitution. Ok geniuses, I guess that means David Vitter should not be making laws against prostitution, Larry Craig should not make laws against public indecency, John Ensign should make no laws against blackmail and Mitch McConnell should make no laws against protecting turtles. Oh yeah, and stop using that 1996 DOMA law, you know, the federal one, to argue your goddamned case. What I wouldn't give to see what kind of downloads are stuck way in the back of the AFA mainframe.

3) Future Republican presidential candidate , Tim Pawlenty, whoring around Iowa with his "hot" MILF wife arousing the libidos of overall wearing Iowans. "I'm very thankful for my red-hot smoking wife?" panted Pawlenty to the corn dog sucking rubes. Great, Tim, so now you're a pimp? Pawlenty also appealed to scared white people in his own state, Minnesota, to make English the official language of the Gopher State. There's so many jokes there I can't even tink aboot it. Ya knowwwwwwww.

4) Michele Bachmann was supposed to appear at a campaign rally for a teabagger opposed Senate candidate in Missouri last week, but she went into a hospital for an "undisclosed illness", at government expense I assume, before she could get there. For chrissakes, Congresswoman Lunatic, faking sick is so grade school. Her admission almost made me wish for real "death panels".

5) Go see "Inception". Twice. Not only will you get it the second time, it will make it more money and encourage Hollywood to make more smart movies. Please.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Hello Goodbye! Paul Plays Kansas!




Gravity may have lowered that baby face a bit, but this 68 year old god is still gettin it done. Paul McCartney played the Sprint Center in Kansas City last night and Max and Max's Dad were there sitting in the nosebleed section ($95 each from a scalper,errrr, broker) and looking at Sir Paul's backside all night. Thank goodness for side video screens.

Years ago, after that horrific duet with Michael Jackson, and Sir Paul's general wimpiness, I gave up on this guy. John was dead, George was still perhaps the most talented musician of the bunch but being ignored,Ringo was doing whatever it is Ringo does and Paul was treading water writing crap. The Beatles were gone. I had to get that through my head. It worked for a while. Then George died. Paul was all that was left. He played the 2005 Super Bowl halftime show and I was back on the bandwagon. Paul was the link to my childhood. Please accept my apologies.

Living in Omaha, we don't get artists the likes of Paul McCartney here. Then they built the Qwest Center and all of a sudden we did get the superstars. The Stones, yuck, retire already, you're making asses out of yourselves. U2, wonderful but not quite the religious experience everyone expects. The Who, nobody came. Springsteen, every bit as awesome as advertised. Paul McCartney showed up in 2005. I didn't go because it cost way too much.

During the trip to Target Field, after I said I wanted to see Paul before I die, Max, a genuine Beatles freak, commented that he "wanted to see him before "he (Paul) dies"". That was such a great observation from a kid that I couldn't justify not going this time.

When the opening keyboard riffs of Venus & Mars began last night, and the lights came on, the chills never left my spine. The whole freaking night I couldn't get over the fact I was watching perhaps the most famous musician on earth, a former Beatle for chrissakes, perform the music I have never ever gotten tired of. From the Wings stuff to the Beatles stuff, and even a Jimi Hendrix song, Sir Paul rocked the crowd for three solid hours, without a break, with humility, and with a sense of wonderment that made you believe he really was grateful for your support. His moving tributes to John Lennon and to George Harrison brought tears to many in the crowd. It was wonderful night in "Kansas" as he kept calling the Missouri city.

Lots of highlights. He did 1985, the best Wings song IMHO. He did A Day In The Life, perhaps the most perfect rock song ever written. He led the crowd in singing Give Peace A Chance. Band on The Run. Something. Let It Be. Eleanor Rigby. The obligatory crowd chanting la la las of Hey Jude. Sgt. Peppers and The End. Then he was gone. Three hours had passed. It seemed like 15 minutes. Wow.

You know, most parents have a lot of trouble bonding with their teenage kids. I bonded with mine last night. It was worth every penny, every second of time, every tired moment driving home for 3 more hours. For that especially, I want to thank Sir Paul McCartney.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

From The Land Of Sky Blue Waters!



Way back when I was a kid I would tune my transistor radio to the left, then to the right, and eventually if I stood on one foot and hung my arm out the window, I could pick up the sweet sounds of Halsey Hall on WCCO radio in Minneapolis and listen to the Minnesota Twins play ball in far off Cleveland or New York or at home in Bloomington. It was heaven. The Twins were good (except in '66 or '68 when Killebrew got hurt in that All Star Game in Houston) and contending for most of the seasons of my youth. I longed to see them in person.

In 1967 the family went to Minnesota to visit my Uncle Dick and a trip to the Met(ropolitan Stadium) was in order. I will never ever forget it. Despite my Uncle Dick losing the tickets (in his watch pocket?), we went from the old Thunderbird Motel to the Met and saw the Twins knock off Boston 5-3. Harmon Killebrew, whom I idolized then and now, knocked a double off the left field fence and Dave Boswell threw a 5 hitter. I can see it all now. Though that season broke my heart, I can still remember crying when Boston won the pennant on that dreary fall Sunday at Fenway on the last day of the season, that trip to the Met was one of my top 10 childhood memories.

I usually saw the Twins in subsequent years in Kansas City and when they started to really stink after Billy Martin self destructed, I even drifted into Oakland A's and Chicago Cubs land. When the Metrodome sucked the Twins indoors I was done, done as Max says with the Twins. Who the hell plays baseball inside? The freaking Mariners? The Astros? The Bluejays? Not my Twins. I ignored them for well over 25 years.

Two years ago I relented and the family went to the wretched Metrodome for the first time. The Metrodome was every bit as dreary and cement-ified as I thought it would be, but Max got a free Justin Morneau jersey out of the deal and I got to see the Twins play in Minnesota for the first time since 1967. Despite the Dome, I fell back in love with a baseball team. The Minnesota Twins were my first love in the 1960's and I dumped them because they went inside? What a beast I am!

Last Sunday afternoon, we went to the brand new Target Field. OMG! This place is absolutely wonderful. Easy to get to, fan friendly, it is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. Sitting in the outfield overhang (I love to sit in the outfield, that's where the real fans sit, sorry Jack :))we watched the Minnesota Twins come from behind, score 4 runs in the bottom of the ninth, and win the best baseball game I may have ever seen. Certainly the best MLB game I've ever seen. Surrounded by loudmouth White Sox fans, naw they were fine, this was everything I expected and more. Just beautiful. The only ugly thing I saw was Nick Blackburn's 6th inning.

Go to Target Field. That's all I can say. Have yourself a walleye sandwich at the Loon, a beer or two at the game, and just enjoy the day. Minneapolis is so lucky to have this palace. Now if those Vikings could ever get out of that concrete prison, Minneapolis would be perfect.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Senator Oil For Brains!



Seems Louisiana Senator David Vitter, just palling around with radio scum, thinks this picture is of Rachel Maddow "back when she looked like a woman". Cue the radio yakkers wild and crazy laughing.

No mention if Vitter was wearing a diaper on the wacky radio show or what he thought of Ann Coulter's adam's apple, Laura Ingraham's nasally whine or Gretchen Carlson's empty cranium.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

No Pise En Mi!



Thanks to the brave souls who gained this nation its independence from the slimy British pig-dogs. If they hadn't stood up to the repressive tea taxers, we'd all be speaking English today!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Chief Pentagon Stenographer, Lara Logan!



Lara Logan, chief foreign correspondent on CBS News, is all upset over reporter Michael Hastings reporting the truth abour General Stanley McChrystal? She's pissed that Hastings told the truth? She stated there is "an element of trust" between reporters and the miltary. She stated there are "ground rules" when reporting on the military insinuating that they protect you in exchange for buying into their bullshit. The she said " to be fair to the military, if they believe a piece is balanced, they will let you back in" What? Examine that statement for one second. Balanced? To me that means "report" whatever they tell you to report. That's balance? For access? Lara Logan is a whore. Figuratively speaking of course.

Logan,like most of the rest of the lazy ass American media, is jealous of this Michael Hastings story. They don't like somebody coming in and pissing in their free food tent. The American media will do whatever it takes to stay inside that free food tent and that includes "reporting" pure unadulterated horseshit fed to them by the powers that be in the United States armed forces. Logan fluffed the Air Force on 60 Minutes by "reporting" how successful the unmanned drones have been without mentioning anything about the thousands of civilians being whacked by these video game like killers.

Logan is also married to Joe Burkett, a defense contractor or something, and pregnant for about the 18th month or so and doing most of her "reporting" from studios in the U.S. You can hardly see Katie Couric about upchuck everytime she's forced to listen to Logan's propaganda.

Lara, listen, Stanley McChrystal was an insubordinate sonuvabitch and deserved to be canned long ago for covering up Pat Tillman's fragging, serving up this idiotic COIN war strategy, and for having a big fucking mouth. He'll be better of when he joins Fox News as its resident Commander in Chief basher. And Logan will be better off when she moves over to Fox to compete with Cariboob Barbie and Gretchen "the presidents job is just like my job" Carlson for hottest Republican shill.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Don't Let The Door Hit Ya On The Way Out, Stan!



Well Barack Obama showed he wouldn't stand for one of his employees dissing he and his staff and fired said employee. Employee Stanley McChrystal is gone. Gone for being a dope.

I really shouldn't diss Stanley McChrystal's long service to this nation so I will stop. Thanks for the service, General. Thanks for covering up the Pat Tillman murder with bullshit stories of heroism. Tillman didn't need to be lied about. He already was a hero. Thanks for you flawed strategy in this pointless war that even your ground troops aren't buying into. Thanks for winning the hearts and minds of the Afghan people. Thanks for convincing Obama this is a war that can be won by sending more naive' young people into a meat grinder. Thanks for propping up that mound of jello, Hamid Karzai, and getting the endorsement of that three faced leech.

The sad part of this whole clusterfuck is the article in Rolling Stone was the last straw. The article shows McChrystal and his yes men as a group of juvenile posers. One who equates dinner with Frenchmen as "gay", calls his team of advisors "Team America", jokes about the Vice President's name calling him "Bite Me", and acts like he's president of Tappa Kegga Beer. This shouldn't have been the last straw, he should have gone a long freakin' time ago.

Now the right, in its genetic predisposition to bow to anything in authority, is going to skewer Obama. Sean Hannity is already getting off just thinking about it. It's a right winger's wet dream. Who can I bow to? McChrystal or BP? How about both? Oh yes oh yes.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

So Long My Friend!



Flakey was crazy. He hated other dogs. He wasn't fond of most people. But Flakey was never a dull dog. Crazy you know. Until recently when he began to strain while peeing , had trouble with his back leg, and began to do a lot of sleeping. Last July, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and given a month or two. He made it 11. Today I had to put my friend to sleep.

Flakey was a rescue dog. A West Highland Terrier to be exact. His past is a mystery but with his "PF" tattoo it isn't hard to figure he was a puppy farm inhabitant. My Mom had just lost her dog, Callie, to a heart attack in the kitchen and was urged to get a companion. Callie was a lap dog, dumb as a box of rocks, but sweet and loving. Flakey was at the pound. We went to see him. She balked. He was gone the next day. A week later I was scouting for a dog for her and Voila! Flakey was back. I called her and urged her to come get him. She balked again. The next day he was gone again. Another few days passed and in my quest to find her a dog, again, Voila! Flakey was back again with stitches over his eye from being nailed by a car. This time Mom said yes, and we took him to her house. Flakey was her friend for the rest of her life. And mine. Mom often said she didn't like the fact he liked me more than her. I doubt that was true but I was the one who came over and walked him and took him for rides. When she died, I inherited Flakey and he became mine. Kindred spirits so to speak. Crazy loners.

It's so strange how dogs affect your life. If I told you I had a crazy dog who attacks other dogs, runs away when given the opportunity, got hit by cars who knows how many times, didn't stop barking at strangers ever, tore up couches and was a real pain in the ass sometimes, would you want him? Mom did, I did,and the rest is pleasant history. He affected my life and I am better for it.

The dog by which all others are judged is Pete, our childhood dog. Saint Pete I often referred to him as when Mom complained Flakey sat on her couch looking out the window (Pete did that), when he would bark uncontrollably at doorbells and strangers (Pete did that), cocked his head to the side when asked a question (Pete did that), went batshit crazy when his leash was taken out of the drawer (Pete did that). Flakey was Pete. I'm not sure she ever got that.

Flakey was restless last night. He couldn't get comfortable. He was climbing on me and panting. He was unable to stand when I let him outside. He was reeling like a punch drunk fighter and falling. It was time. Oh how I resisted this day. I'd never had the guts to take a dog on that last ride. I had to.

At the hospital Flakey was in my arms and when he saw two other dogs his head suddenly popped up for a second to tell them I don't like you, but his head dropped back. They sedated him, I said goodbye, he looked in my eyes and laid his head back down, and then it was done. Flakey had moved on. It was so tough to keep myself together.I failed. I cried all the way home.

I hope to God there's something beyond this polluted world. I hope the whole rainbow bridge tale is true. I hope my Mom and Flakey are together again. I really do.

Will Rogers said it best, "If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went". Me too.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Bees! Bees! They're Sting Crazy!



All over I hear Americans, who proclaim their disdain for all things soccer, whining about the buzzing sound heard at every World Cup game. The vuvuzelahs, aka air horns, those plastic horns everybody had in the 1970's, are prevalent in South Africa and they blow them constantly. It sounds like a billion locusts are attacking the Earth. Michele Bachmann must be so frustrated the rapture hasn't taken place even though the locusts are here.

Oh come on, stop complaining. If Americans were allowed to take air horns into stadiums, we'd hear the same thing (though Americans would probably use the kind where you don't have to do anything like exert yourself to make noise). If Nebraska's Memorial Stadium allowed you to take anything in other than those stupid cornheads, we'd see blue hairs dropping like soccer floppers trying to keep up with the buzzing noise. I think a lot of this has to do with jealousy. American stadiums have become libraries as the population ages. Shhhhhhh, I can't hear. Down in front! Hey kids, could ya stop that hey batta batta stuff!

I have learned to like the pleasant buzzing of soccer fans in South Africa. It's like white noise machines. It is relaxing as I fall asleep during a 0-0 Honduras-Chile battle.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Ku Klux King!



Wow, that's a whole lotta crazy goin' on there. But just when you are ready to crown Michele Bachmann with the tin foil crown, back comes Steve King with a late rally. King is a nut, look at his Jesus-filled crazy eyes, and he keeps getting re-elected in a Congressional district right across the Missouri River from me. In fact, some of his district lies on my side of the river in a tiny section of Iowa that refuses to admit they are really Nebraska. In fact, for years the district was represented by a liberal Democrat who was highly popular. He retired, and they put some wacky juice in the water and along came King.

In case you haven't heard King's latest head up ass quote, it goes something like this. "The president has demonstrated he has a default mechanism that breaks down on the side of race-on the side that favors the black person". You know, the black person? That person with double and triple the unemployment rate of the rest of King's paleface constituency. The black person? That person with 1 out of 44 Presidential representation. Or maybe 1/2 of 44. Somewhere between 1 and 2 percent for you people who don't like numbers unless it's up on a Powerball billboard.

King did say this on G.Gordon Liddy's radio show. WTF? Liddy is still alive? And he has a radio show? For chrissakes, I thought for sure by now Liddy would be plotting with Nixon, Haldeman and Ehrlichman to bug Satan's I Phone. But apparently being a rat eating psychotic with a Just For Men mustache makes you immortal or something.

A default mechanism? Does King think Obama is a real robot? I know he acts like one sometimes but wigga please, Bill Clinton is blacker than Barack Obama ever thought of being.

Please Iowa, send this construction worker lunkhead back to Kiron where he can open a small motel and scare children with his tied up jackal dogs and nightly incantations. For now at least, the stunning Steve King has the tin foil crown Bachmann so covets. Whoda ever thought the Midwest could produce two such home school role models as these? We are such practical people out here. As long as the President is white, Republican and slightly retarded.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Hold Me Closer Tiny Rushbo!



Get off Elton John's back for whoring himself out for a million bucks and playing Rush Limbaugh's fourth wedding. Guests included Karl Rove, Clarence Thomas, Sean Hannity,Rudy Guiliani, Tom Watson,George Brett, and James Carville and Mary Matalin. Come on now, what self respecting gay man could resist that hunka hunka burnin' man-flesh?

No report on the rumors Rush made his bride dress like a 7 year old Dominican boy on the wedding night.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Carter's Little Pills!



Thirty years ago, Jimmy Carter looked at the folks watching him on television and said, " Too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns." President Carter told Americans they had a "crisis of confidence" and because of "fragmentation and self interest" we were preventing ourselves from facing the coming energy crisis. Carter told Americans "every act of energy conservation is more than common sense, it's an act of patriotism".

That speech, commonly referred to as the "malaise" speech, has been reworked by conservatives interested in distorting history to be the antithesis to Ronald Reagan's dopey optimism and gasbag patriotism. Carter's speech back in 1979 was a winner at the time. Americans agreed the country was becoming a land of self centered slobs. But due to sloppy followups and the Iran hostage crisis, in which Cronkite told us every goddamned day how many days those people had been held, Reagan's vapid sense of delusion took over. The rest is unfortunate history.

Had we listened to Jimmy Carter's warnings back in 1979, we wouldn't be a slave to giant oil overseers like BP, Shell, Exxon and the rest of them. We'd be further along in getting rid of the 19th century technology known as the internal combustion engine. Coal and oil? Are we serious? This is the future? Meanwhile, coal miners and oil rig workers continue to be murdered by profit gulping energy conglomerates unconcerned with safety and very concerned with growth rates and dividends.

We now are finally witnessing this oil gusher's path of environmental destruction. I challenge anyone to see oil engulfed birds and mammals and not be moved. This is an absolute crime. Not only the crime of negligent homicide, but of crimes against humanity. The Hague needs the crank up its court docket. Right after Bush and Cheney, admitted war criminals as of this week, the BP, Trans Ocean, and Haliburton executives needs to be dragged back there for justice.

To close, let's just say President Carter was right. He still may not be the best President who ever lived, but being right once is one more time than you can say about his successor, his successor, and that successor's stupid son.