Teabagging In Ohio!

The teabaggers are getting cocky. Some group of elderly misfits in Ohio called "the Freedom Institute of Erie County" sent out a questionnaire to political candidates asking their views in a highly non-partisan way. I don't know about you, but ANY group with the word "freedom" in their name is hiding something. Like their opposition to freedom for instance. Anyway, let's take a look at their non-partisan inquiries in the quest for "freedom" (and how I'd answer).

1. The Right to Life is a Constitutional right, therefore innocent human beings should have legal protection from conception until natural death. If you hold any exceptions please state them.

The only exception I can think of is Medicare sucking teabaggers. Bring on the death panels. Does natural death include starving children?

2. The regulation of Carbon Dioxide in our atmosphere should be left to God and not government and I oppose all measures of Cap and Trade as well as the teaching of global warming theory in our schools.

The only thing I want to cap is your mouths and trade you to God for a rational human being to be named later.

3. Marriage is defined as being between a man and a woman, any other type of Union is not marriage.

Well that's not true because two men can get "married" in Iowa and Massachusetts and New Jersey and Connecticut and soon to be in Ohio. It's inevitable, like you misspelling your signs.

4. Children should not be placed into foster homes where the parents are homosexual, bisexual, or transgender.

How about alcoholics and drug addicts and domestic abusers and child abusers, you know, those "normal" people?

5. Parental consent should be required for sex education that teaches more than direct abstinence.

Tell your 35 year old grandmother that.

6. The second Amendment to the Constitution [the right to keep and bear arms] should not be weakened in any way.

yeah, fuck that well regulated militia crap.

7. Only US citizens should be allowed to vote and a photo ID should always be required to vote. (The Mexican government requires a photo ID and fingerprint).

Can I buy you a one way ticket to Mexico?

8. I oppose Ohio’s State Income Tax.

I thought they were the Ohio's State Buckeyes? Sorry, I was driving down the public street and a fire engine siren distracted me.

9. I oppose the Obama Health Care Reform and would like to see more affordable healthcare through a competitive, open, and transparent system.

I love my insurance company as much as the next guy and I love my right to be screwed around by them. The only thing transparent here is your organization's collective IQ.

10. I oppose the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy of the military and believe that all same sex partners should be banned from combat duty in the military because of the propensity to transmit blood-borne diseases in the theatre of battle.

The theater of battle sounds so gay. Are you sure you guys aren't friends on Facebook with Larry Craig and David Drier?

11. I support a law that will allow the people to place on a ballot all collective bargaining agreements of all government associations, unions, and guilds, for their expressed approval. Defeat of such an agreement would mean government workers would not be immune from the free market system.

Damned government workers ought to work for food ,like that guy on the corner with the sign that's spelled correctly.

12. I oppose card check for voting to implement a Union as this could give unions an unfair intimidation tactic to implement unionisation.

Last time I checked, most questions end with a ?. Speaking of card checks, I'll see you blue hairs at the casino tonight, blowing your welfare, errrr, social security checks.

13. I am not an economic pacifist. I believe that we need to protect our economic borders in order to ensure free and fair trade. Tariffs should be used to stop the wealth and jobs of Americans from leaving her borders.

Yeah, buy American, unless it's made by one of those commie bastards in a union.


14. The Federal Reserve as it is currently conceived needs to be abolished or at the very least audited.

Sounds like my very wish for the teabagger movement.

15. I advocated moving our currency to a debt-free supply-side labour-based currency.

Who the hell wrote that one for you? Adam Smith? You dumbasses have no idea what that even means. But I'm sure the cannon fodder in Afghanistan would be happy to come home once that one was passed.

Well there ya go. The "Freedom Institute of Erie County" questionnaire. Oh, and one question. What European homo wrote those questions for you? "unionisation", "labour" and "theatre"? Seriously, Ohio teabaggers, I expected better from you. Like asking your real question. "Do you support that n***** in the White House?"