Sunday, May 21, 2017


Donald Trump's low energy speech to a room full of fellow miscreants.

Let's go to war with Iran, who's with me?

What the fuck?

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Joey Alexander Trio!

There arent many 13 year old kids I'd pay money to watch do anything. Oh there are exceptions, I mean Im sure a 13 year old Michael Jackson was pretty damn talented. I do pay for Netflix which means I sort of pay to watch 13 year old Millie Bobby Brown do her thing on Stranger Things and I would definitely pay to watch a 13 year old Barron Trump kick his old man in the balls, sometime in 2019.

Joey Alexander is his name. He's 13. He's from Bali in Indonesia. He was discovered by Wynton Marsalis or Herbie Hancock or some other jazz legend playing the piano by ear. Wow, can this kid play.

Theolonius Monk or John Coltrane can be very difficult to interpret, but this kid does it. The Joey Alexander Trio opened a concert last night here in Omaha with Monk's "Epistrophy", a song that goes all over the place, from sounding just like three musicians making noise to a grooving jazz number and then back to the noise. It really is something that non jazz fans might give up on, but to stick with it is ultimately rewarding. Joey and his two fellow members, bassist Alexander Claffy and drummer extraordinaire Willie Jones III, also tackled Coltrane, gospel songs and original compositions written by the wunderkind. It was a magical evening watching a boy genius and a couple of adult musicians at the top of their game.

Sitting so close to the stage is really the only way to go at jazz concerts. To see the facial expressions and the improv that jazz demands up close cannot be beat. The drumming of Jones was so fascinating to watch. I mean the man had all four extremities going in all directions at once, Whisk drumming with his left hand, keeping rhythm with his right, kicking the bass drum with his right foot and cracking the cymbals with his left foot, Jones may have been the most amazing drummer I have ever seen. Claffy played the upright bass with an intensity that made him shed his sport coat almost immediately and visibly sweat right thru his shirt. They both were fantastic.

But Joey. With an awkward stage presence to go along with the brilliant piano playing, you could not stop realizing this kid is only 13. The brilliant playing, then the stooped over shy banter of a child speaking to a crowd of people put you into discovery mode that you may have been witnessing the start of a legendary career. When he was pounding the ivories, he often stood while playing and made eye contact with his band mates and smiled, kind of like a damn this is fun look.

Yeah Joey. It was fun. Thanks

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Don't Sasse Me!

Whoever the the first Republican Senator to stand up and exclaim "This Trump guy is a disaster" and calls for his firing will be famous. Oh not among the base of cultists and nitwits that make up that Republican base, but among the sane people who right now hate every fucking Republican member of Congress.

Watch out for this guy, America. His name is Ben Sasse (Weirdo-Ne) and he doesnt much like the orange blob of espionage in the White House. He didnt like him back in the summer of 2016, didnt much like him in the fall of 2016, and doesnt much like him now. Sasse took a lot of shit from the angry white rubes of his home state back in the good old days when Hillary was going to kick Trump's ass. Never gonna vote for him again, oughta be recalled blah blah blah. Yeah right.

Sasse has written a book about how to raise yer kiddies to grow up and be just like him and he's pimping it like Huggy Bear on a Friday night in 1978. Sasse seems to think "adults" have lost control and big brats like Trump have become the norm. Sasse has been making a lot of noise for a long time about the pre-school this nation has become. And quite frankly he's right. But since Ben Sasse became a superstar with his cute sarcastic twitter account where he acts goofy and tells people #LoveYourPassion when they call him a buck toothed baboon. No it was not me who did that, I called him a stupid hot dog vendor (I saw him selling hot dogs once at a football game) but then Im not all that creative.

Sasse is weird. He drives an Uber, he sells hot dogs at football games, he once said his daughters wake up every day and pray that Obamacare is repealed. See, weird.

But Ben Sasse may be the first Republican to show the guts to say what needs to be said. And if that happens, again, watch out for this guy. Sasse has the ability to not only be a right wing kook (which he is) but also have a sense of humor, including a self deprecating wit, which 99% of conservatives lack. I find myself reading his twitter and actually finding myself saying hey he sounds like a decent guy, which by the way he isnt. And if I do that, the rest of America may also find themselves turning into Ben Sasse groupies, simply because Trump has set the bar so fucking low, anybody with a personality and a sense of phony decency may shoot to the top of the 2020 list of crazies willing to not be Trumpski.

Sasse,in pimping his book, has gone onto the national stage and really been no better than any other Republican afraid of the giant shadow of the whack job base of Republican bigots, haters, and numbskulls that block the light of facts. But if Sasse ever does form a spine, and use it, he will be a force to be reckoned with.

Look, the man is running for President in 2020. There is no doubt. So far, he is doing it very cautiously. Unable to actually stick that toe into the muck and grime that will be Republican rage thus far, he nonetheless is thinking about it. And if he does do the right thing, he will be a independent hero. But can he stand up to the scrutiny? That remains to be seen. Right now he's just another Republican hack kowtowing to a Russian operative.

Sasse is really everything Ted Cruz isnt. Harvard educated but able to play the folksy I'm just a simple Nebraska boy when in reality the guy couldnt wait to get out of that town we call Fremont. A town of anti-Hispanic clodhoppers who openly say it at the ballot box and then of course claim they aint racist. Sasse left town as soon as he graduated high school and ran off to the East Coast for the next 20 some years before coming back to Nebraska to take a job running a small religious college for just enough time to make people think yeah he's our Ben again and run for Senate, kicking some limp noodled Democrat offered up as a human sacrifice. Christ, Ben was so confident he'd return to his beloved DC, he never even sold his condo there. Yep, Go Big Red Baby!

So when Sasse finally decides to break ranks and actually calls for Trump to be impeached, just remember, the polling told him to do it, Because Ben Sasse is just a goofy looking Elmer Gantry. Do not be fooled.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Shakin Bacon!

You see, we are generally a polite lot of people here in the city that just dismissed an opportunity to tell Donald Trump to go fuck himself and re-elected a nice, boring, harmless Republican woman as Mayor.. Yeah, I'm one of them who is generally polite, probably too much so (thanks mom & dad), yet I have absolutely ZERO problem with what is going on at Town Halls with these corporate stooges they call Republican House Members. Fuck them all. Oh sorry, was that too mean?

Our Representative here in the 2nd District is a smiling diminutive little Republican dipshit named Don Bacon (Double Dipper-Ne). Bacon is a former Air Force General who ran against a one term Republican turned Democrat named Brad Ashford who was as middle of the road as you can get. You could tell from the tire marks on his suits from being run over out there in the middle of the road. Ashford was well on his way to re election when the returns from the gerrymandered district I call Nebraska's version of East Berlin, Sarpy County, began to come in. Now to explain, Sarpy County is FULL of retired double dipping Air Force vets who spend 20 years at Offutt Air Force Base (thanks for your service), retire, and then get jobs in private business. Hey,I know, Ive worked with hundreds of them. And to a man or woman, they are, well how do I put this, basically fascist wannabes. They are Republican from the tips of the high and tight haircuts, to the toes of their comfortable shoes. The political offices in Sarpy County, Mayors and City Councils and law enforcement agencies all act like anyone form outside is an interloper bent on subversion and carnage. It is well known that driving in the county is something to be avoided. The Stasi , or as it is officially known as, The Sarpy County Sheriffs Department, will pull you over anytime you venture over Harrison Street into their fatherland. Yes, a little tip for tourists, Harrison Street is like Checkpoint Charlie. The only thing lacking is a wall. Sarpy County is indeed the place that gave us Representative Don Bacon (Lil General-Ne).

Bacon was running scared from Town Halls earlier in the year. He would hold "town halls" via conference call. He would hold "town halls" with only invited guests. He would say no public Town Halls because he was afraid of "outside agitators". He also claimed the "outside agitators" were paid by George Soros or Karl Marx or somebody. Bacon is indeed an idiot used to telling boot strappers what to do and having them do it no questions asked. This whole democracy thing is new to Don Bacon.

But Bacon could hide no more. He would put his stupidity out there for all to view. And he held "Town Halls" publicly, In safe areas. In the white sections of town, in the middle of the day, on weekdays, with little notice. Yet some still showed up to express their dissatisfaction with the Little General.

Yesterday, Don Bacon held a town hall in a little town called Bennington. Bennington is hard to find, a bit far to drive to and of course, full of folks fleeing the minorities that live in Omaha. Friendlies.

Sorry, Don, but the friendlies werent enough to toadie to you and your staff of doughboys. "Lies!" was the main shout that Bacon heard as he lied. Bacon called the ACHA a "rescue mission" to save health care. I sure hope General Don didnt general that way. We are going to rescue you by taking away any security you may need, Not a great way to general, General. Bacon went to the moldy talking points of "High risk pools" and "tax breaks" amid the shouts and the booing. There ya go, General, you aint no General anymore. The troops dont like you and arent going to snap to.

Bacon saw no problem with the firing of James Comey. Hey, he had no support from anybody, including the Demoncrats. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Bacon insisted there were no "red flags" involving Russia and Trump. He did concede that Russia was "trying to throw gasoline on our partisan divide.” Yeah thats it, Don, Russia is only interested in dividing us. Look, dumbfuck, we dont need their help. Trump provides more than enough gas for that fire. Bacon continued to pause and sigh and act like it was him being the victim while people in the crowd, many of whom would be out in the cold with no health insurance, would express their displeasure with his Trump ass kissing.

But did the rocking Town Hall experience make Bacon think? Nope....."It wasn’t pleasant, but it does embolden me,” emboldens him to keep bringing the bullshit forward.

Bacon is vulnerable in 2018. He's as worthless a Rep as there can be. If the freedom lovers can overcome the zombies of East Berlin Sarpy County then Bacon can be sent back to double dipper land. Triple Dipper Land is where he is now. Jesus H Christ, how many fucking taxpayer pensions and free health care can one guy get?

The answer depends on who you are. If you are a taxpayer sucking leech its as many as you can get. If its you or me, its a big fat zero.

2nd District Democrats. Theres a chance to fry this Bacon. Get out the pan! Now!

Mother's Day!

Be nice to your Mom today. Some day, sooner than you think, she will not be around. Establish some good times to remember her while you can.

My Mom was one of the smartest women I've ever known. She had a life she loved and took full advantage of the opportunities offered. And then, in a moment of time that comes for us all, it went downhill very quickly.

I love you, Mom. I think of you every day and when I see the state of the nation nowadays, I both wish you were here to comment on it, yet know you would have been as distressed as many of us are and hopefully wherever you are, there's no squirrel haired maniac there to torment you.

Happy Mothers Day to all moms!

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

FB Sigh!

Even the ghost of Richard Nixon is pointing at the biggest asshole in American history. Jesus H Christ, at least Nixon knew what he was doing, or did for a while. This schlump from Queens, Donald John Trump, has no fucking clue what he's doing. Buoyed by the adoring morons whom Trump cons and holds rallies with on a monthly basis, this putz Trump thinks he's invincible. So far in a mere 109 days, this muskrat haired jackoff has fired Sally Yates for telling him no, fired Preet Bhrara for investigating him and now James Comey for holding grand juries and sniffing to close to Trumps corrupt taint.

And now, Donald Trump gets to replace the man investigating him with his own man. A man who will undoubtedly be compromised and attempt to end the obvious fact that Trump and his cronies, his family and probably his closet case veep are Russian operatives. And the Republican Senate, still holding onto this traitorous creep as a tool to make themselves and their donors rich, will approve Trump's FBI choice unanimously just to hold off the wolves. Nice going Iowa in not only electing a white nationalist to Congress but re-electing a senile drip like Chuck Grassley to oversee this clusterfuck of an investigation. Grassley, a demented old crank who has been in the Senate longer than First Lady Ivanka Trump has been alive, approves of the firing of Comey and I'm sure the appointment of some Russian speaking twit as a replacement.

But like I said, Nixon and his goons knew what he was doing by surrounding himself with professional thugs like Liddy and Segretti and John Ehrlichman and H R Haldeman and Mitchell and Bork. Nixon was ruthless and did whatever he could to not only win, but crush his opponents beyond recognition. This bunch of incompetent racists and oligarchs and dopes cant even cover up their own idiocy much less a Russian covert operation to take over the American government. Despite the worship of a minute percentage of American idiots and the collusion of the American Congress, this entire stinking administration is on shaky ground. Because the fish rots from the head and the head is a beaver haired lazy ass rich kid from Queens who has finally bitten off more than he could chew.

I mean come on, in Trump's letter to Comey he mentions the investigation that is not happening and how Comey called him three times to say its not happening and how despite the fact the investigating is not happening he's firing him anyway. Jesus, you dolt, why mention the investigation that is not happening when you fire the guy not investigating you.

This may seem dark and dreary at this time. But remember the idiots that Trump has appointed and the morons who serve as his spokespeople. This is a house of cards ready to fall. And fall it will.

This administration may be a house of cards, but they are definitely not a House Of Cards. Francis J Underwood would have pushed Kellyanne Conway in front of a Metro train and certainly have gassed a drunken Steve Bannon by now.

Bye bye motherfuckers.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

My Hero Of The Day!

This guy is my hero. The one on the left that is. The guy on right is a blood sucking vampire.

Friday, May 5, 2017

The United States House Of Embarassment!

Lets get this out of the way at the start. Fuck them all. With a rusty crowbar.

The House Republicans, a group of hicks and rubes and Satanists so utterly evil, voted to do what they've been saying they wanted to do for about 7 years now. They finally succeeded in making rape a pre-existing condition in the issuance of health insurance . Oh yeah that and domestic violence and C sections and depression and who knows what else. Christ just being born with a vagina is now a pre-existing condition to these misogynistic clods.

Paul Ryan, who may be an even worse human being than Donald Trump, with his shit eating grin and his blatant lying, couldnt have been more smug standing in that Rose Garden with his fellow misanthropes, most of them old white men set for life by the bribes donations they have received from other old white men bent on taking every last dollar off to hell when they finally expire. Ryan, a cheese munching monster who regularly masturbates in his office to a Cliffs Notes version of Atlas Shrugged, was claiming victory because of his obsession with the elimination of anything to do with that black man who ruled as an adult person for the last eight years and generally kicked his ass. Ryan, who I swear Joe Biden wanted to punch right in the mug, got on a bus with his fellow monsters (wheres a drunk teenager in a pickup truck when you need one) and rolled off to the White House to partaaayyyyy with the Pussy Grabber In Chief in the Rose Garden.

Think about it. What exactly were these assholes celebrating? Well, we know that pricks like Louie Gohmert (Goober-Tx) and Steve King (Shitheel-Ia) were probably celebrating something to do with some Mexican someplace dying, but the rest? Celebrating a hollow victory in which something with the nickname "Obama" was repealed and not even replaced. Celebrating that 24-30 million of their fellow citizens, a shitload of whom let their racism win out over their common sense and voted for these total pricks, will lose health insurance coverage because the fucking premiums will be unaffordable. Yep, premiums will plunge because $0 is sure as hell less than $130,000. Celebrating the gigantic tax cut for the wealthiest Americans, which some would argue what this was really about anyway. An average tax cut of $200K while the cost is 24-30 million people losing health insurance coverage. Hope its worth it J Simpleton Douchebag the Fourth. Get that yacht cleaned up nice and shiny for the mandatory Summer Shindig with your favorite Congressman.

Yesterday was one of the most disgraceful votes ever made in American history. A House full of heartless fucks, including a lot of Republican women, voted for this cruel bill, In fact Representative Martha McSally (Whack Job-Az) who urged her fellow Scrooges to "do this fucking thing" was one of them. I bet she's a hoot at the Arizona Vote Against Your Own Interests Early Bird Special Prayer Brunch.

Ok fine, I know this House bill is not the law of the land. Yet. But the celebratory atmosphere of these crazy shitheads, led by a crude version of a human being in the Rose Garden of the White House, the beer drinking at the Capitol, the fact that if this bill gets through the Turtle led Senate, and those miserable bastards arent any better, it goes to the states where madman Governors like Scott Walker (Chinless-Wi) or Sam Brownback (Disaster Re-Elected-KS) or Pete Ricketts (Trust Fund Kid-Ne) could get the ball rolling to gut even more of the "greatest health care system in the world" (puke) by restoring lifetime caps, or whatever else big insurance wants. Really? I dont want a proven economic illiterate like Brownback (Re-Elected-KS) or a grinning football head like Ricketts (Daddy I Need More Money-Ne) being in charge of anything that means life or death to people.

Trump said he wouldnt touch Medicaid. Yet, bye bye Medicaid so his rich buddies would get even more money at tax time. Yeah yeah I know Trump is a pathological liar, and I wouldnt vote for him if he ran against Casey Anthony (Child Killer-Fl), but this is really something else. You are talking about Medicaid here. The very lifeblood of poor Americans not yet bankrupted or ignored into death by the "Greatest health care system in the world" (vomit). The Medicaid fund. under the guise of that failed oldie "High Risk Pools", is basically dead. It's $200 billion short by early estimates. Chrissakes, the Republican shitheels didnt even wait for a CBO study before passing this nonsense. They dont believe in science, compassion or apparently math.

The top 12 states in having a population of people with pre-existing conditions ALL voted for the Creep In Chief. The Schadenfreude in me is very happy. But the human empathy I was fortunately born with and learned from my parents wins out here. Even people who voted for a vulgar barroom bully like Trump deserve to live a decent life. And even if they continue to support a tiny fingered thin skinned Russian operative like Trump just because he upsets "libtards" like me, they dont deserve this. And even when they blame the Democrats because their pre-existing racism, sexism, homophobia has kicked in, they dont deserve this.

The "Greatest health care system in the word" myth is a fucking joke told to you by politicians lying through their teeth to keep getting donations from the insurance industry and hospitals and medical supply companies. The Pathological Liar in Chief even thinks our system sucks.

Hell he proved the broken clock is right twice a day theory just yesterday. Watch.

There ya have it. The House is full of miscreants and morons. The Presidency is full of grifters and looters. The Senate is full of glorified House hicks with better suits.

But Australia. Thats where its at! Hey, the Broken Clock in Chief said so. Your move, Trump voters.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Betterman Is Letterman!

There are still some really smart people left in this world. They get sick of being smarter than everybody else and eventually either quit, kill themselves or fade into being hacks because what the fuck, why fight the stupidity and greed any longer.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony last night on HBO is exactly what I'm talking about. Because I wasnt going to watch the White House Correspondence Dinner due to the fact it was this hackneyed crapfest that made an orange glob of humorless goo decide to run for President because a black man made fun of him. And I wasnt going to watch the latest scream for attention by our Toddler In Chief in front of a bunch of Pennsylvania rubes who apparently do not know Hillary Clinton has faded into oblivion. So it was the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. At least I'd get a Pearl Jam fix once Eddie Vedder stopped talking.

But what I got was a reminder of the genius and gift to those of us who despise authority that is David Letterman. Decked out in a suit and a beard that wold make Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill proud, Dave gave a speech inducting Pearl Jam into the Hall that made me long for the days of the anarchist he was, and apparently still is. Even while praising Pearl Jam, he never once let them off the hook with his biting humor in regards to their inability to keep drummers in their early days and the losing fight they launched against Ticketmaster. Who else in one sentence can call Ticketmaster beady eyed weasels AND remind Eddie Vedder, hey dude, you lost and accomplished nothing.

But when Dave was ready to read a moving letter from Eddie to his son, Harry, and held up the guitar that his kid had been given, and then showed that picture of his son, and a picture of a middle schooler lighting up a smoke popped up, who the hell didn't not only howl, but also be sad that this genius is no longer making the comfortable uncomfortable on late night television.

I love Pearl Jam as they are one of the 10 greatest rock bands that has ever existed and certainly one of the top 5 American bands ever, but what I found out I loved even more was David Letterman.

Dave, I wish you well, keep that beard, and please some day come back as an interviewer on a news channel. You were the only one who ever held these asshole blowhard politicians and Fox News creeps accountable for their bullshit.

Has it really been 100 days since America was taken over by stupidity? I wonder what Dave would say.

Watch his speech here.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

First Step To Impeachment!

Per Donald Trump, Republican breast cancer advocate Karen Handel (Loony-Ga) came in with a big "win" over 30 year old nerd Democrat Jon Ossoff by getting 18% of the vote to his 48% of the vote. Trump of course is an illiterate moron that 3 million less voters elected to the Presidency of these United States last November because he was white. And now, since Trump has proven to be a lying. lazy, chubby, golfing, crude man child the rest of America has apparently taken the word lazy and set it aside. At least for now.

Jon Ossoff ran in a special election for the U.S. House of Reprehensibles in Georgia's 6th district last night and ran 30 points ahead of his nearest challenger, a truly horrible woman named Karen Handel. Yet to Trump, who didnt even support Handel cuz she's a broad or something, he did support the twist and she "won" bigley.

Now because Georgia, as much of the South, has this weirdo procedure where if the winner does not get 50% of the vote, we get a run off election in about 2 months time. I gather this is so the powers that be in Georgia, white men, can keep those pesky libtards or blacks or anyone not a conservative white con artist out of office by coming together to keep guys like Ossoff below 50%.

This will be ugly. Not only will the Republicans lie, cheat, steal and spend as much money as it takes to smear Ossoff as a "globalist", they will lie, cheat and steal and spend as much money as it takes to make Karen Handel the second coming of fucking Newt Gingrich, who held this seat through 3 wives and who knows how many mistresses until his hypocrisy brought him down and he turned to writing books about how the Confederacy should have won the War of Northern Aggression.

Now about Karen Handel (Cancer Advocate-Ga). This woman is a former Georgia Secretary of State, though why states have that worthless office is beyond me. Oh yeah, I know now, its so they can suppress the votes of blacks and browns and snowflakes. And that's what Georgia Secretary of State Karen Handel (Quitter-Ga) did, along with eliminating any paper trails for electronic voting machines and purged the voting rolls forcing many to re-register and "prove" they were citizens. Gee, I wonder what the racial numbers were on that purge?

But what everyone remembers about this awful person is the Susan B Komen debacle. While a national official for the Komen organization, a widely known breast cancer organization looking for "The Cure", Komen made it her mission to defund Planned Parenthood from any Komen funds because of that whole abortion bullshit. No more money for cancer screenings for you, Trampy, cuz you'll probably just get a pap smear and then go over to the Planned Parenthood abortion room and get one of those later. Now we all know that Planned Parenthood is just like Hitler because it gasses babies and takes over states with its mansion like abortion mills. But what makes the Susan B Komen Race For The Cure any better? Huh? God this country is just plain goofy sometimes. Thanks con artist scammers religious leaders.

Handel resigned from her veep duties over this issue. But the fact the Komen organization would hire a person like this made me stop running in the Cure races. That, and the fact I busted my leg and got fat. But still, hiring a smarmy little fuck like Handel shows poor judgement period. The voters of Georgia's 6th District must not show that poor judgement either. Damn, Georgians, you hired a guy named Newt for years and then replaced him with a corrupt insider trading asshole named Tom Price who Trump hired to starve the poor into oblivion, which Price will do gladly as long as he can figure a way to make a buck out of it.

The Georgia House race, in two months for chrissakes, is a must. Two months is plenty of time for the bullshit that will come out of the deep coffers of the Republican PACS and party to turn Jon Ossoff into a savage Jew who will eat your children and take away your guns. Oh its gonna happen. "Globalist" is the new Jewish slur. Expect to hear that one coming out of PACS that have Pepi the Frog as a symbol.

Fight fire with fire folks. Dont fall asleep here. The way to impeach the Toddler In Chief and his whole Russian spy network of an administration is to win the House back in 2018. We lost in Kansas, allowing a math moron like Trump to crow, but we cannot lose here or in Montana. We must fire the first shots and by sending Ossoff to Congress is one helluva shot. You know, like Trumps golf shots. I hear he shot an 18 last week.

Lets all help. Elect Jon Ossoff in Georgia. Ya like folk singers from Montana? Me too.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Peggy Noonan Won What? Now That Has To Be Fake News!

Christ I dont know if the Pulitzer Committee got cases of Chardonnay from an anonymous source over the last few weeks but they must have been blasted out of their minds for awarding Peggy Noonan a Pulitzer Prize for drunk typing or commentary or whatever the fuck it is she does.

Peggy dear, who was responsible for those baffling ramblings that came out of the mouth of Reagan during his Reign of Is He Senile, now drunk comments for the Wall Street Urinal (a little Rush humor for ya there lol) and the wild and crazy creeps who run that rag must be as ecstatic as if another hedge fund guy caused old guys to kill themselves by closing down their livelihood and selling the parts.

Dame Margaret Peggy must have woke up this morning, waved the haze out of her cobweb head, downed the remainder of the wine glass on her bed side table and exclaimed "where did I put that Ronald Reagan fathead?" Then the phone rang and she was informed that the Pulitzer Prize for hazy commentary was all hers to which she must have thought, rationally for a change, "are they giving out paticipation Pulitzers now?"

Giving a Pulitzer for commentary to a condescending Mother Superior wanna be like Sister Mary Nooners is like giving out a Pulitzer for journalism to Russian Bots spreading their pro Trump bullshit. Which after this announcement , may be next.

Noonan, who for some reason is continually asked to come on television news panels to hem and haw and look down her nose at others, writes some of the most nonsensical bullshit you've never read. Reading a Countess Peggy column is an exercise in futility. Chrissakes she makes Maureen Dowd seem normal. To get past the first paragraph of a Queen Peggy commentary is well, impossible. To say you have is to lie.

I admit I have no fucking idea what motivates her, other than a scotch and water. She gets all hot and bothered over the stupidest shit. In the age of Trump, the vulgar side of politics she's always pretended to disdain, she becomes the wise old soothsayer who imagines a "sane" Donald Trump and then pretends it's real. A sane Donald Trump? Really Peggers?

Noonan once became upset over a group of oversensitive Columbia University students who saw sexism and racism in old poems. Imagine that? Dame Noonan decided to respond to the bunch of surly students lecturing them that old poems are great and they, the cantankerous coeds, are spoiled brats. Well Sister Groucho, your gin stained view of the world is no less valuable than that of a group of easily offended scholars.

She wrote, " I won’t name the four undergraduate authors, because 30 years from now their children will be on Google, and because everyone in their 20s has the right to be an idiot."

She forgot to add because everyone in their 60's has the right to be an idiot too.

Congrats, Duchess Pegs, on your Pulitzer. It's the modern day equivalent of the Nobel Committee giving a Peace Prize to a war criminal named Henry Kissinger. I'd buy you the drinks, but I dont have that much money.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Trump's Good Week??

Yeah Bill O'Reilly returned the favor. Told his fossilized viewers what a good week Donald Trump had and then it slip on why exactly he and his octogenarian viewers think Trump had a"good week". Cuz the "Trump haters" are frustrated. Yowza, when the libflakes and the snowtards are "frustrated" then no matter what Trump and his handlers did, however horrible, then it must be good. As these couch bound bitters watch their hero, he of the gropey hands and lawsuit losses, carry on about his buddy, and the fires of hell lap at their support stockings, well at least as they fade into oblivion they know the cucks and the blacks are worse off and that's good. But we are the haters.

Donald Trumpski got on the horn on Thursday, or rather one of his mouthpieces did cuz he was partaaaaying with the Chinese guy, and warned his Russian bosses that he was going to send about a billion dollars worth of missiles into the air and blow up an airfield so you may want to tell your Syrian goons to head to the hookah bar for a few hours. And then Trump sent 60 Tomahawks off to blow shit up. Nothing helps a 34% approval rating like an act of war to rally dumb Americans behind you. Raytheon, the maker of these missiles, wishes to thank you for the stock uptick and yes we will get right on replacing those 60 missiles and oh yeah the price is higher now due to the fact our workers actually expect to be paid to do their patriotic duty.

So when the missiles hit what was an abandoned airfield and went boom, all of media went oh my gawwwwwwwwwd, ratings! Again they couldnt wait to exclaim how cool missile attacks are and how Donald Trump, man child leader, suddenly became "President". You know, like that night he gave a speech to that band of thieves in Congress and somehow managed to not have his zipper down and vomit on Paul Ryan and he was judged to have become "President". The media, sitting on a restrained longing to love this Toddler in Chief, cannot wait to declare Trump's actions legitimate, strong, presidential, uhhhh normal. He might come on out network, ohhhhh Donald.This is how they reach out to flyover country, sitting at home watching Sean Hannity and blaming the black guy. You know Hannity, the man who crapped on Obama's want to bomb the shit out of Syria back in 2013,presumably without calling in a heads up to Putin and Assad. But now that his reach around buddy Trump has done it, those 2013 tweets are being washed away and the screen grabs are the far left's attempt to smear his flat head.

Donald Trump had a good week?

Mitch McConnell, as disgusting of an American as Paul Ryan, had to force through a Supreme Court nominee by changing ancient rules of the Senate that had survived every shitty moment in American history. The "nuclear option". Oh boy this sounds good. McConnell, after being able to only muster three cowardly Democrats from deep red states to vote for this thief of a nominee, took the road to Armageddon and nuked the worlds oldest body of lawmakers. You know, the good body of statesmen and heroes that were a counter measure to that group of hicks and rubes in the House of Representatives. Well no more thanks to a chinless cracker from Kentucky with a warped sense of history. The United States Senate, full of "statesmen" like John Cornyn (Liar-Tx) and Ted Cruz (Alien-Canada) has become just another group of red state dipshits with nice suits bought by special interests and a gift for gab just one step over their inarticulate voters.

Neil Gorsuch represents a "good week" for Trump. This folksy bullshit artist hemmed and hawed his way through his hearings by saying virtually nothing. Ah shucks Senator, I dont really know the answer to that very good question. Oh gee, Senator, I must have been playing with my cutesy wife and little girls that day and did you notice the black chick sitting behind me which of course means the blacks all love me.

Well maybe not all of them, Neil. Alphonse Maddin probably isnt too fond of you. You see, Neil, if you can somehow remember that case you ruled on in between playing tiddlywinks with the kiddies or going to the rodeo to bust sheep, you ruled that Corporate America, who are just like people, could fire Mr.Maddin for saving his own life and perhaps the lives of others. You may recall that Alphonse Maddin, a truck driver, a regular guy that the Republicans are looking out for, found his brakes were frozen due to the below freezing temperature. So Maddin called in his problem to his employer, a person called TransAm for help. Hey, Alphonse, said Mr.TransAm help is on the way, stay put. So he stayed put for about two hours until he began to fucking freeze to death. He called this person, TransAm, again. Stay put said TransAm. But Maddin couldnt feel his feet and his legs and his body so he did what anybody would do. He got out of the truck, unhitched the trailer, and drove the truck to a warm place where he could continue being alive.

So for this obvious transgression, Mister TransAm, a person, fired Alphonse Maddin for abandoning his trailer. Maddin filed a complaint with OSHA, a government agency the Republicans think is unnecessary cuz safety is so much for pussies. The complaint was upheld and Mister TransAm, an American citizen, sued and went to the Appeals Court where on Neil Gorsuch sat, presumably with his cute kids bouncing on his lap. The court upheld the complaint by a 2-1 margin.

Guess who the one was? Yep it was everybody's favorite Daddy Judge, Neil Gorsuch. Neil apparently thought that Alphonse Maddin, a second class American citizen, was in no way justified in saving his own life and not driving that frozen braked truck on the public roads and perhaps killing other second class American citizens. First class American citizen, TransAm, was right to shitcan Alphonze Maddin. Yep, Neil Gorsuch thinks Corporate America, a citizen, trumps everyone else.

So for that I say fuck Neil Gorsuch. No not fuck him as a SCOTUS life member. I'm sure he will be just a terrible as I think. Fuck him as an American citizen. Fuck him as a person. Fuck him as a human being. He'll fit right in with this bunch.
Good week for Il Douche' and as usual a bad week for the rest of the world.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Birds Of A Feather!

"I dont think Bill did anything wrong". That's the opinion of the Pussy Grabber In Chief regarding the old lecherous Bill O'Reilly and his numerous sexual harassment lawsuits settled to the tune of $13 million.

Well of course he doesnt think Billo did anything wrong other than settle because Trump never settles any lawsuits either. Wait, what? The Fraud in Chief settled his $25 million Trump University lawsuit for grifting morons out of their money over the years? Wow, Russian Stooge In Chief, you're $12 million ahead of that creepy old Lothario. At least Billo never started his own University which would have consisted of nothing but grad assistants ready to get groped by the Fox News Romeo in his office.

Bill O'Reilly is that middle school teacher who thinks he's cool, but is actually an asshole and then brags that his students loved him while the students all say "seen that asshole O'Reilly lately? He's melting and he's still the biggest prick I ever dealt with".

O'Reilly is the kind of doughy disco jerk who went to clubs in the 70's, opened his shirt to his pot belly, hit on every chick in the joint, and went home alone. Oh yeah, O'Reilly eventually bullied his way into TV news, hit on the dopey interns by promising them airtime, and fooled dumb people into saying things like "yeah he tells it like it is", you know, the same idiots who said the same shit about another bullying blowhard named Donald Trump.

I mean these two skirt chasers belong together. Aging has-beens bragging to each other about alleged past conquests while sitting in the front row at Yankee Stadium rooting for the Evil Empire. Christ, O'Reilly perceives himself as so cool he does a one finger wave and Trump is two sections late. But in reality, these two pitiful playboys long for what they will never have. Acceptance. Acceptance by the very people they hammer either on Twitter in Trump's case or in Billo's case his nightly old man yells at cloud segment he calls "Talking Points".

Rosie is a pig. Meryl is overrated. Kanye is bad. The Dixie Chicks are dumb. Bryan Cranston is bad. Beyonce is a diva.

When they wont accept you you criticize them as beneath you. Look, only dummies fall for that. To be recognized by the very celebrities you allegedly despise would give both of these limp dicks a rager.These two juvenile delinquents need to be brought down to earth.

Trump needs to be impeached at the very least and his wild and crazy buddy O'Reilly needs to be fired from his cranky old man show.

God how I wish for the return of the man who brought them both down from their imaginary throne. David Letterman.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Louse Speaker!

Well that clusterfuck is over. The Republicans repealed Obamacare 60 plus times when they knew Obama was President and it wouldn't ever matter, thus being able to cater to their ignorant constituents who didn't know Obamacare from the Affordable Care Act.

Well those days are over you yellow bellies because when given the chance to actually repeal an actual plan and replace with nothing but tax cuts for their owners donors well off constituents they took a powder.

The Republican House members, led by a Ayn Rand loving loathsome hater like Paul Ryan (Charlatan-WI), couldn't get their shit together to do something they'd done dozens of times because some of them got all baffled by that "replace" part.

Some of the rubes in the House thought replacing the Obamacare with anything was just too generous to humanity. These "Freedom Caucus" members, a gang of misanthropes so utterly nasty they cannot comprehend the suffering of anyone other than rich white males, could not stand any health care plan that covered virtually anything. Those broads, the ones that had been rejecting them for years, dont need no mammograms or maternity coverage. The poor are poor because they are lazy and shiftless and its better off if they just die anyway. This Freedom Caucus was not to be moved off their lonely hill where they think Donald Trump is a philanthropist. The Freedom Caucus consists of 30 of the whitest men you would ever meet. They alone were ready to fuck this replacement part up in the name of "freedom". Thanks, Freedom Caucus. You are all still complete assholes though.

When you take out that bunch of despicable creeps, you are left with the rest of the Republicans. You know, the ones who wanted to "replace" the ACA (thats Obamacare,idiots) with the Ryan Trump Plan which would lower premiums and provide you with choice (something those chicks shouldn't get) of plans. It would lower costs from providers and give everybody a free unicorn.

Now all of that is 100% true. Sorry, fellow Democrats, but for once the Republicans are telling the truth. It would lower premiums for most people because whatever you pay now is definitely higher than $0 which is what you'd pay after Trump Care passed because you couldn't afford to buy insurance. It would provider you with a choice. The choice to not afford this plan or not afford that plan, your choice. If you choose to not buy a plan, well then lah dee dah, freedom! Lower costs from providers? You betcha! Cuz not going to the doctor because you cant afford it is free! See, what a plan! The free unicorn? Just get hooked on the black market opiates and voila! Unicorn!

The Democrats and the Freedom Caucus kicked Trump right in the ass today. The American people kicked that whiny toddler right in the ass today too. Donald Trump is a loser. He is ill prepared and quite frankly in over his head. Just quit Donnie!

With the defeat of Trump Care today perhaps we can now get back to the important stuff. Like getting to the bottom of how this rancid administration ran the campaign against Hillary. How involved were these Russian stooges with the actual Russians? How far up Putin's ass is Trump? How many of this administration of Russian lackeys will actually be in jail in the years to come?

These are the important questions. When your main line of defense is a birdbrain named Devin Nunes (Out of his League-CA) you are in deep trouble. When aforementioned birdbrain gets information and runs off to tattle to the Pigeon In Chief you know the bloodhounds are getting close. Donald Trump may get to the point that whatever tapes Putin has are the least of his problems.

What's your next move, Comrade Donald?

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Aw Shucks I'm Just A Simple Mutton Bustin' Lawyer!

The gag reflex is working overtime listening to the cornpone judge claim he's just a simple country lawyer with no gosh darn opinions on much of anything. Denver Judge Neil Gorsuch, the next SCOTUS judge nominee willing to turn the country into a hateful wasteland, is knocking softballs out of the park as Republican Judiciary Committee members ask him if he's a Nazi or anything like those Demoncrats say he is.

Now the fact remains Gorsuch should not even be sitting there. Surrounded by his loving adoring gazing wife and the strategically placed black woman, Mary Elizabeth Taylor, a sort of Omarosa Lite Gorsuch is aw shucksing his way to the inevitable lifetime seat confirmation he stole from Barack Obama and Merrick Garland. Oh he will be confirmed, because the hillbillies voted for enough Republicans to make it inevitable. That and the fact the Democrats are pussies.

Trump has obviously sold this seat to the various right wing groups who are bankrolling this farce. Trump wouldnt know a Supreme Court decision from a Maury Povich DNA test much less know anything about Neil Gorsuch, who may as well have a Federalist Society tattoo on his forehead. When the fainting couch fan, Lindsey Graham, asked Gorsuch what he wold have done had Trump demanded he vote to overturn Roe V Wade Gorsuch puffed up the phony indignation and proclaimed Why Suh, I would have gotten up and walked right out that door. Excuse me while I gag. Yeah sure, Neil. Besides the fact Trump thinks Roe V Wade is the name of one of his doormen, the thought of that scenario is laughable. Trump never asked anything of the kind of a guy like Gorsuch. Gorsuch was the name given him by The Heritage Foundation and had Rubio or Cruz or Santorum somehow won the White House, Gorsuch would still have been the guy.

Look, Gorsuch is as forgetful a nominee as I can ever remember with all his gee willikers surprise at some of the questions. Diane Feinstein nailed him in his sneaky advisement of the Cheney DOJ on how to circumvent laws against torture but Gorsuch bobbed and weaved with his gee maam I was just one voice in a crowded room and I'd really have to look at my notes to see what I advised. Yeah Im pretty sure I'd remember if I told some sick fuck like Cheney that plucking the fingernails out of suspects was a-ok with me.

Sheldon Whitehouse asked Gorsuch about the $10 million in Citizens United money that is backing this thieving nomination. Gorsuch has no idea what it is in fact claimed "It is what it is". Gee ok there, Judge Denial.

My gawd, the things Gorsuch claims to not know would disqualify a simple law clerk from doing anything other than running to Starbucks to get the latte's. Gorsuch's feigned ignorance is so infuriating, or should be, to anyone with even a 6th grade level of understanding the consequences of confirming this phony Chauncey Gardner to the Supreme Court.

Al Franken knows absurdity. And Al Franken made this statement after Gorsuch attempted to justify his vote to allow a company to fire a truck driver who refused to put his own life and others in danger by driving a truck with frozen brakes and refusing to sit in the cab and freeze to death.

"It is absurd to say that this company was within its rights to fire him because he made a choice not to—of possibly dying by freezing to death or causing other people to die because he was driving an unsafe vehicle. That's absurd. Now I had a career in identifying absurdity, and I know it when I see it."

Are you absurd, Neil Gorsuch, or are you just another of the 6th grade level thinking miscreants running around this putrid administration?

I think we know.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

FBI Blues!

If there was ever a case of buyer's remorse, it happened yesterday when FBI Director James Comey realized what he had done by throwing a bomb into the 2016 election when he derailed Hillary and allowed a fascist toddler to "win" the Presidency by appealing to racists xenophobes sexists economic anxious racists sexists bigots working class white people.

Within the first quarter of his testimony under oath, in front of a Republican dominated committee of Trump apologists, Comey confirmed that the FBI had concluded Donald John Trump was a goddamned liar AND a Russian stooge. Case closed. Impeach the creep now. Huh?

Trey Gowdy (Jug Eared Alien-SC) concluded only one thing from the Comey revelations. Jail the fucking press for reporting it. Now Gowdy (Bug Eyed Swamp Rat-SC) is truly a taxpayer money wasting redneck, but for this Benghazi obsessed deviant to conclude from the fact that his Russian puppet leader is a liar and a foreign operative that the only problem is the people reporting it is truly dangerous.

There were other Republican hacks with selective hearing. Devin Nunes (Lalalala-Ca) pretty much blamed Obama for all of it as mentally ill fascists tend to do. Nunes, a truly stupid man, falsely claimed that the Obummer administration was attempting to suck up to America's true leader, Vladimir Putin (POTUS-USA), for 8 years. This despite the fact, not an alt fact, a fact that Prez Putin hated Obama and Hillary for telling him to go fuck himself regularly. Comey made the remark "They wanted to hurt our democracy, hurt her and help him," about Russian meddling while being lectured by a Trump hack named Mike Conaway (Invisible-Tx). I am surprised Trump goons didnt bust in and rough up Comey at that point as the entire hearing was summed up at that point. Impeachment anyone?

Of course I am dreaming. Impeaching a clown like Trump is not on the table until at least after this bunch of anarchist sociopaths in Congress get their wish to turn the nation into the oligarchy paradise they want. Until they have used a truly morally bankrupt lunatic like Trump for all they can get out of him, they will never take any action against him. It's all about winning. They won and how it happened is irrelevant. Just as it is irrelevant to the millions of bitter people who have been convinced to hate "libtards" and "snowflakes" to the point of advocating traitorous activity and outright fraud.

But just remember. The same FBI guy Trump loved after he sabotaged Hillary's campaign is now after Trump. Dummy!!! Sad!

Monday, March 20, 2017

Chuck And Jimmy!

While President Nutty Turd frolicked in Florida yet again as the world burns, the weekend got even worse when it was learned that rock n roll argued inventor, Chuck Berry, passed on at age 90 and the argued greatest newspaper columnist ever, Jimmy Breslin, passed on at age 88. If you are from Chicago, or are a Mike Royko fanboy, as I, Breslin was certainly in the Top 2, right? And Chuck Berry, who wrote the guitar riffs that every other rock guitarist ever used as a center point, was the man who started it all.

Chuck Berry took country swing and combined it with blues to make a new sound that took radio by storm. White kids who normally listened to radio which played weak love songs and regenerated slowed down swing music heard Maybellene and went what the heck is that? Then it ballooned into a hit factory. Using the iconic Chuck Berry riffs, the radio went batshit on Rock n Roll Music, School Days, and the arguably greatest rock song ever, Johnny B Goode. Berry went on tour and on TV perfecting his famous duck walk while showing white America what a black dude from St Louis could do.

Berry entered my life as his career faded. His only #1 hit was a 1972 novelty song recorded live in England. "My Ding A Ling" was played on the Top 40 radio incessantly and I heard it as a rebellious teen and loved it. In retrospect of course its a juvenile crappy song and I bought the 45. But on the flip side (thats when you turn the small record over and play the throwaway song they dumped there, kids), oh the flip side of My Ding A Ling. It was a live version of Johnny B Goode. Goddam, what the heck is that? I played that version of Johnny B Goode about 100 times more than I ever played My Ding A Ling. A movie came out, and I dont recall its name (or I'd buy it) but it was a live stadium concert of 50's and early 60's rock acts like Bill Haley and the Shirelles and Little Richard (please stay alive forever) and Chuck Berry. Chuck Berry rocked and duck walked and played the hell out of that guitar and the movie theater crowd in Texas that day ate up every moment. I then went next door and snuck into Jesus Christ Superstar so I was very religious that day in my worship. Chuck Berry was THE MAN. I dont care about his troubled personal life and his snarkiness and his Trump like obsession with women's urinary functions because again, Chuck Berry was THE MAN.

Jimmy Breslin was the New Yorker most people who think of when they think New Yorker. A cigar chomping hard drinking man's man so to speak. Jimmy Breslin was a newspaper columnist for so many years it's impossible to even remember. He didnt write opinions as much as he wrote stories. Jimmy could take a hugs story, such as the JFK assignation, and write a column about the everyman who actually dug JFK's grave, or about a New York cop's perspective on that fateful night John Lennon was shot at the Dakota. Jimmy Breslin championed the underdog and fought like hell to take down the crooked comfortable who exploited them.

Jimmy Breslin used to be a reporter on a late night televison news program I watched. He interviewed a young Hispanic woman who worked as a maid in a New York hotel and was struggling to feed her children. As Breslin spoke with her she suddenly became passionate about what she was saying and began to speak Spanish for a moment. She apologized and said her English wasnt so good to which Jimmy Breslin made perhaps the kindest remark I may have ever heard. He told her to never apologize for speaking two languages because that was one more language than he could speak. Wow. That is kindness from a rough and tough guy. I have never forgotten that.

Jimmy Breslin was a man who saw things so much differently than most of us. While we were dazzled by the sparkly shiny stuff, he was dazzled by the stuff that didnt sparkle. He wrote an entire book about the worst baseball team ever. The 1962 New York Mets. Breslin wrote The Gang That Couldnt Shoot Straight a novel not about the Trump Administration but about the mob.

God I loved Jimmy Breslin. After the 2004 re-election of George W Bush he just kind of cleared off his desk and went home saying what the hell does it matter anymore. I so wish I had his brain, which he wrote about in I Want to Thank My Brain for Remembering Me: A Memoir about his aneurysm. The man was unique and he never succumbed to the crankiness and conservatism of old age like I think Mike Royko did.

You may remember that David Berkowitz, the serial killer known as Son of Sam who terrorized NYC in the 1970s killing young women and their dates, used to write letters to Breslin at the New York Daily News while he was still at large. When Berkowitz was caught and Breslin went to court to witness the arraignment of this twisted murderer, Berkowitz saw Jimmy and exclaimed " Hey its my friend, I know him" to which Breslin replied in perfect timing "Just shoot him".

Chuck and Jimmy. I will miss you both more than anyone will ever know.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Budget Blues!

Its been about two months since a cranky old man took the oath of office, and began a taxpayer funded vacation each weekend, and his trust fund children began a taxpayer funded vacation, and his wife and child holed up in a grotesque tower, courtesy of the taxpayers. These grifters, these con artists, these hucksters, these swindlers are figureheads being used by a group of soulless creeps intent on taking all the money with them on their trip to hell.

The Trump "budget", unleashed on the public this week, written by people who hate other people and have no further intention of hiding it, was perhaps the most Draconian hunk of paper ever masturbated to by a gang of misanthropes like the ones that run this government.

To look at it is to go what in the fuckity fuck fuck is wrong with these evil snakes? Cheered only by fellow "conservatives" with hard ons for the future of death and destruction, this budget is universally hated. Well not universally, a gang of future homeless hillbillies in Tennessee seemed to like it a lot as their Fuehrer ranted, but for the love of the God they claim to believe in what is wrong with these people?

Oh the Defense Industry comes out just fine with their 10% increase. Read it again, The Defense Industry. Not the soldiers, not the families of soldiers, but the creeps of the Defense Industry, soon to be making millions off the death of brown people and meaningless weapons of mass destruction. The white guys in offices will be happy slapping each others filthy hands.

The Homeland Security Department? Comes out great too. This totally inept bureaucracy installed by a Republican small government administration profiting off of fear, gets a sizable increase, mostly to build that fucking wall nobody wants. Not to mention spying on you and harassing brown people some more.

Veterans Affairs also gets an increase. What does that mean? Well, more meaningless private health agencies stand to get rich keeping troubled vets on the hook. Vets Affairs is kind of like Dermatology. You are never going to be cured, you just keep going back and enriching more con men and women.

Who are the government services that get the axe? Basically anything that helps people cuz we know this modern band of "conservatives" really really hates you. Paul Ryan, the most despicable human on earth, even confessed to wanting to cut Medicaid when he was a young detestable punk ass bitch drinking beer after sucking up government money his entire teenaged life. Yeah Rich, wouldnt it be great to make poor people die sooner? Damn, I dont even need my Ayn Rand poster to get off on that. Gulp! Now wheres my social security survivors benefits?

The EPA gets whacked by 31%. Simply allowing polluters loose will create polluter jobs or something. Yeah get rid of the EPA and we'll hire people to shit in the rivers. Ahhh, American Business. These worthless motherfuckers do realize they cant take the money with them once they mercifully exit the earth, right?

As the second worst human on earth said, Irish lackey Mick Mulvaney, we arent going to spend any more of your money on climate change. What? Please, you Irish knave, spend it on exactly that. Ask those guys in the Pentagon that actually ruin the Defense Department what they think about climate change instead of asking your buddies running Northrop Grumman. Nobody makes me my Irish side more than assholes like Ryan and Mulvaney. You are a disgrace to your people and hey Ryan, that Guiness you pulled out was the biggest pussy move in Irish American history. As Irishmen continually said all day, the only people who puul that move are British nationalists and American tourists. Póg mo thóin you two Tory pricks.

The State Department cut 29%? The fucking State Department? What are you planning? A hike in defesne spending and a machete to State? Wow, wonder what's up there? Hey somebody wake up that old Exxon man from his nap and see what he has to say.

The Agriculture Department down 21%? Nice vote, Nebraska, and after you clowns all relive the Dust Bowl or are forced off your land by Big Agriculture I'm sure the percentage who vote Republican may even go down a point or two.

The Labor Department down 21%? Well, the re institution of slavery is a goal of the ghouls who run the Heritage Foundation, but come on now, not everybody can work at Carl's Junior. Who the hell is going to buy their heart attack inducing food?

HHS? Meals on Wheels. Bah Humbug! No results according to that Celtic scoundrel Mulvaney. Feeding old people and providing companionship. No results. The Irish cad is so used to reading balance sheets he cant see the tombstones for the graveyards.

As far as the rest of the budget. No more public lands, no more national parks, no more mass transit, education money diverted to Betsy DeVos and her crusader profiteers, no more dams, no more levies, no more anything.

This country would be turned in to a Third World no Fourth World oligarchy if these anarchists get their way. The amazing thing is there are actually Americans out there supporting this bombing of America because their orange cult leader says so. In fact the orange glob of shit has no idea whats in the budget because he lives thru the week to get back to Mar a Lago where he can gaze into space and long for the days of being a reality show host.

We have to stop this. And only thru not being lazy and not being bored are we going to stop it. Just this week, Republican dopes posing as United States Senators in red state Nebraska held town halls. Debbie Fischer (Self Hating Woman-Ne), welfare rancher extraordinaire, held her town hall in a small town and was met by outside agitators, town folks who booed and cheered and gave her hell. Meanwhile, Ben Sasse (Weirdo Uber Driver-Ne) announced his town hall at 7pm Thursday night to be held the next day at 8am, apparently hoping he could suppress turnout like it was black voters by giving 12 hours notice, but was met by a boisterous group who booed and cheered and gave him all sorts of shit.

So if its happening here in RedStateLand, it certainly can happen anywhere. As Mick told Rocky Balboa, dont let that bastard breathe.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Steve King In The Dead Zone!!!

I used to live in the 4th Congressional District of Iowa. It contains a shitload of small towns, is 95% white, and has a bona fide white supremacist as its Congressman. Representative Steve King (Lamebrain-Ia) keeps saying things no normal person says out loud. Now he's lamenting the lack of white people in America and whining about American culture being destroyed by "other people's babies" whatever the fuck that means.

When I lived in that district, yes, I was an interloper in many ways. Raised in a an urban environment and a goddamned liberal I was definitely an outsider. But I must say, even though these people were Republican from the top of their high and tight haircuts to the tips of their dress socks and sandals, I never ever thought they were bad people, hateful people, or even all that dumb.

So what happened?

Yeah the Republicans dominated local races, dominated state races, and sent a bland boring ass Republican dweeb to Congress every two years, but crazy people were shunned. I distinctly remember nutjobs showing up at county board meetings with guns and bad attitudes and being told to hit the bricks by Republican board members backed up by local cops. When a Klansman showed up to stir up trouble over Hispanics and Asians working at local packing plants, the guy got shouted down and sent back under the rock he crawled out from under.

But that was years ago. So what happened there since I fled back to the big city?

In 2014 a viper name Steve King put his name into nomination to replace said bland ass Republican congressman who moved into a new district. Probably due to the genetic makeup of people who live there who must vote for the guy with the R next to is name, Steve King won election to the United States House of Representatives, a truly despicable body of hicks and rubes gerrymandered into office by racists at the state level. King got a rather low 51% of the vote considering the 2014 backlash against President Blackenstein. King proceeded to make stupid statement after stupid statement, mostly involving sick sexual fetishes he has about giant Mexican cantaloupe calves on the young Hispanic males who carry 75 lbs of pot across the border on a daily basis. He also supports animal fights because how would it look if humans are allowed to fight and animals arent? King also thinks arsenic in chicken feed is real tasty and has no problem outlawing free range chickens cuz of freedom or something.

King is also a big marriage advocate. As long as you aint gay or going to Vegas. King not only wants to outlaw gay marriage, known to the gays as "marriage", but thinks going to a justice of the peace or a judge or an Elvis impersonator is just plain sick. Go to a reverend you heathen. Like God intended. You know God? The guy who wrote the Bible and advocated slavery and polygamy? King loves that guy. And thinks you should too. At the point of a government gun if need be. But small gubmint of course.

King believes in racial profiling, doesnt believe in climate change , believes that white men are discriminated against, has a traitorous Confederate flag on his desk, believes that "Western Civilization" aka "white people" is superior to any other, thinks President Obama is Muslim and that Muslims danced in the streets after 9/11.

King made all these cuckoo statements in the two years he was in office. Surely in 2016, the fine residents of Iowa's 4th Congressional District would right their wrong. Right?

Wrong. I guess all that racism sexism xenophobia economic anxiety crawled out from the slime and Steve King (Shitheel-Ia) was shot back into office with 61% of the vote.

So to 61% of Iowa's 4th Congressional District I say fuck you. I dont want to understand you, I dont want to reach out to you, I want you all to crawl back into your bunkers in Kiron and Sioux City and LeMars and suck a tail pipe. Just dont turn the tractor on. Your soon to be non existent health insurance wont cover you.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Gullible Ordinary People!

I assume that picture is right after that group of miscreants learned some homeless guy got crushed by a garbage truck. Or maybe it was right after one of them told a story about running over a pipeline protester.

The House GOP unveiled their plan to uninsure millions of Americans, most of whom voted for these pricks. And as bad as you thought it would be, well, its even worse. Just like "President Trump" is much worse than "President-Elect" Trump.

Once again those GOP skinflints are bound and determined to kick America in the balls and tell them they are just checking them for cancer and most of them will believe it right after they stop throwing up.

Health Savings Accounts--yep just use all that extra money you use on I Phones and put it away for when you get sick. So when you get the inevitable cancer from the GOP sponsored pollution or have a heart attack from the dollar meals you can afford and you've saved all that money you'll be all covered from the very moment you hit the floor until the time the first EMT shows up. Thanks Republicans for making me save.

Tax Credits-- man these asswipes love those tax credits. After you've been gouged by the GOP Care for your astronomical price increases, at the end of the year you get to take a little bit of it off your taxes. There see, it all works out in the end. Kind of like bailing out the Titanic's boiler room with crystal goblets, if it sinks anyway, you just didnt work hard enough. Hey all works out in end.

Selling Health Insurance Across State Lines-- Jesus H Christ, how many morons fall for this old GOP standard? I am familiar with the insurance industry and trust me , if this shitfest comes to be, every insurance company will have a South Dakota address and stick Mount Rushmore up yer ass sideways because South Dakota has no regulations and very few legislative geniuses. Think of your credit cards. Hey when did Citibank and Bank of America move to Dakota? And where exactly is Dakota?

Individual Mandate-- well there isnt one. Unless of course you get shitcanned from your job created by Trump and spend more than 60 days without insurance. I mean come on, who spends more than 2 months without a Trump created job? If you do become lazy bum and dont get insurance for 61 days, the GOP masters in the insurance industry can jack up your rates by 30% as a sort of penalty for your sloth.

Oh for chrissakes the whole "plan" is nothing more than the general strategy of the GOP. Take money from you and give to their wealthy benefactors who buy their souls every two years. So keep falling for it Kansas, and Nebraska and South Dakota and oh for fucks sakes the entire South and the Plains. And they will fall for it because the strategy of selling this shit sandwich is already in play.

This morning Paul Ryan's designated Vice Asshole, Jason Chaffetz, went on CNN's fake news to push the "plan" forward into the poor gomers who make up GOP Land. Its all about "personal responsibility" and "freedom of choice" with these phony lunatics. And oh yeah, it's all about I Phones. Hey, stop buying those I Phones I thought President Blackenstein gave away to his homies for 8 years. Turns out "they" were buying them all along and Obama was buying them healthcare. Dick Chaffetz is done with that. And he wants his goobers to know it. Yeah, the free ride is over for "them" just like back in the 80's when "they" were all on welfare and "they" all bought Cadillacs. Now "they" buy I Phones and rip you, Goober, off for their free healthcare.

So fall for it again, Midwest. Its "them" keeping you down. And when the GOP takes your access to healthcare away, you know who to blame. Yeah, the inventor of the I Phone. Barack Hussein Obummer. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Rape me GOP!!

Monday, March 6, 2017

Khan Job!!

1)This has gone way beyond what a civilized nation would put up with. You have a goddamned mentally ill man, propped up by sycophants, racists and zombies ready to disassemble government any possible way they can. And having a Joker like Trump being the point man doesnt matter.

Look, Trump, its like this. You have only two choices here on your early Saturday morning twitter meltdown.

1) You are a liar

2) There was espionage going on at the Trump Tower with enough evidence to convince a FISA court that you are indeed a traitor

So its your choice. I think its probably #1 but wouldn't be surprised if its both. Another piece of advice for Donnie. STOP listening to a hairless troll like Mark Levin. Levin is a nothing but a squeaky voiced toddler throwing nightly temper tantrums to gizz up an already angry old white base. He also lies constantly.

2) I thought Kellyanne Conway was a bad liar. But this Huckabee spawn, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, makes Kellyanne look like fucking Barbara Jordan. Sarah, a moon faced daughter of moon faced Mike Huckabee, went on the Sunday shows with her talking points, her lies, her diversionary tactics and her Huckabee sense of humor, which is none. Sarah's insistence on sticking to the script no matter what the question, sent Martha Raddatz into almost banging her head on the table. Finally this morning, ABC's best attempt at a newsman, George Stephanopoulos, finally grew the nads to call Sarah a liar, not once but three times, which drew that stupid Arkansas goober grin when a smart guy stumped the Huckabee. Mike Huckabee is a Reverend, or so I thought. Nice job raising that liar, Mike. Kind of like that other monster you raised who killed the dog. Father of the year you aint.

3) The Muslim ban is back. When Secretary of Exxon Rex Tillerson announced that the Creep In Chief had signed his new ban in private to keep America "safe" it made me want to jam a gas pump up Tillerson's crooked ass and fill it full of Premium. Trump's Muslim ban has eliminated one country from the original 7. Iraq. Trump the Lazy changed a couple of words here and there and put it back out to be overturned yet again which of course will cause another Twitter rant and probably cause Trump's Billy Bobs to kill a few more Sikhs in the name of Bannon.

4) The House GOP has a replacement plan to the Affordable Care Act but you cant see it cuz its so awesome. The plan which reportedly will throw about 10-20 million off the insurance rolls, raise costs for virtually everybody, make insurance companies richer than they are already, cut taxes for the 1 percent, bring back bleeding and probably allow the use the poor's organs to keep old rich guys alive will be so unpopular among dumb Trumpers who put racism over their common sense that we may actually see some of them proclaim "yeah Im not so sure about that Trump anymore". Then the GOP evil doers will simply say "Obamacare" and the cult will fall back in line.

5) Ben Carson may be a brilliant brain surgeon, but he is one tone deaf son of a bitch. "Immigrants" in the bottom of slave ships? Jesus H Christ if you heard this sleepwalking mad scientist speak today you would have thought you were watching Young Frankenstein. Carson paced the stage like a tiger that had just been tranquilized fondly reminiscing about immigrants working 7 days a week, 16 hours a day and for no minimum wage. Ah the good old days, when the Negroes got a free boat ride and a good job when they "immigrated" to the New World. Carson also began speaking about the human brain and neutrons and threatened to drill a hole in your head, stick electrodes into your hippocampus and force you to read him a book you read 60 years ago, verbatim. What the fuck, Dr Frankensteen? Really? Who wants to work for this modern day Josef Mengele knowing that at some point he will come at with a drill wanting to hear you recite Green Eggs and Ham?

6) Finally , and I normally would dismiss this as hyperbole, but Khizr Khan , the man who offered not only his son'd life to his country but offered an orange talking pile of mucus a copy of his constitution, has cancelled a speech in Toronto because his "travel privileges" are being reviewed. Mr. Khan, who has been an American for 30 years, is justifiably concerned if he leaves the country, that a band of fascists in the United States Government led by a revenge minded talking Pomeranian would not let him back in. The Pakistani native probably never dreamed that the United States of America would be governed by a cabal of white supremacists hell bent of keeping his kind out. 30 years ago was bad enough, when am amiable dunce was used as the front man to a group of greedheads. But now, not only are the greedheads in power, we also now have a white Taliban whispering sweet racisms in the talking pile of Metamucils ears. Sorry, Mr. Khan.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

What The Hell Is This, Russia?

Is there anybody in this administration who ISN'T in the Russians back pocket?

We have the Attorney General of the United States, approved by a complicit Senate, meeting with Russians before they election and then lying to Congress about it. Ah hell, who's gonna find out? The little jug eared troll named Jefferson B Sessions recused himself today from leading any investigations into this putrid band of Cossacks running the country at behest of a former KGB killer. Not that any of these Republican collaborators will lead any investigations anyway. They won and their mission to dismantle the entire United States Government and install a plutocracy led by a gang of wealthy tyrants is unstoppable. Trump is their puppet as well as Putin's. This marriage of authoritarians from Russia and authoritarians from the United States is the marriage they ought to stop with an amendment.

Jefferson Sessions is as gone as gone can be. Following the ouster of fellow traveler Mike Flynn for being a fucking liar, Sessions is on as unsteady ground as a Klan cross burning on a fault line in Oklahoma. And there are more to come. Jared Kushner, the bachelor Ivanka Trumpski gave the rose to, allegedly met with the Russians with Flynn. Donnie Junior, a rat faced little douchebag. allegedly had parties with Russians. Secretary of Exxon Rex Tillerson has the highest honor Russian can bestow on civilians hanging around his neck like an anchor. Paul Manafort, a bumbling former campaign manager to Trump, was a paid consultant to pro-Kremlin forces in Ukraine before he sold his soul to Mephistopheles Trump. Carter Page, a foreign policy advisor to the Ignoramus in Chief, is being investigated for his Russian contacts hacking away at the 2016 election. Roger Stone, a political rat fucker from way back, knew all about the Wikileaks before it even happened courtesy of his Russian handlers, allegedly.

Again, who in this fucking cartel of Russian stooges running this country HASN'T met with the Russian puppet masters?

This is serious. And until the Trump cultists and the Republican looters put country before party, this demolition of the world's greatest democracy is going to continue.

One of the big problems I have with this is Barack Obama's polite administration knew about the Russian shenanigans to keep the hated Hillary from kicking Putin in his nutsack and did nothing. Maybe it was the certainty we all had that a vulgar hoodlum like Trump could never beat Hillary. Who knows? But the Obama administration's lack of action in exposing this treasonous bullshit is right up with past Democratic lack of action. Nixon's thugs sabotaged the Paris Peace Talks in 1968 and LBJ did nothing, probably out of being fed up with the whole fucking thing. And in 1980 when Reagan's hooligans made sure the Iranian hostages stayed put so Jimmy Carter would get his ass beat and Carter did nothing.

Jesus H Christ Democrats. Stop thinking these Republican moral lepers will play by the rules. They dont they wont and they laugh at your lack of action.

Heres your chance. Despite "Democrats" like Joe Manchin and Heidi Heiterkamp sucking up to a band of Republican voters who support a contemptible lout like Trump, the real Democrats need to get into this and push these Russian invaders back under the rocks they crawled out of. Think Stalingrad. Except American. And warmer.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Woof Woof!

I like Van Jones. I really do. Ive at times said I wished he'd run for President. But last night, after a vulgar buffoon used the widow of a man he sent to his death to further his own popularity, Van Jones gushed like teen aged Paul Ryan did to Atlas Shrugged, when he could get the sticky pages apart. Van, please, just because a badger doesnt attack your jugular vein once or a serial woman abuser goes one day without hitting you, or an orange shit log doesnt whip out his tiny tallywacker and begin pissing on hookers one time doesnt mean Trump is not a badger, a domestic abuser or a golden shower enthusiast.

The media, in typical fashion, rolled over on their belly hoping they'd get scratched by a serial court jester now that the jester actually acted like a human being for 90 minutes. After the media is insulted and berated by a clown playing to a group of cultists and begins to fight back, all it takes for these guardians of democracy to fall into line is one night of civility and a grotesque display of political profiteering. When the orange dolt exploited a grieving widow for his own self aggrandizement, even counting the amount of time the rest of those soulless lucifers applauded, and then made the up there he's enjoying the applause con, the press went all goo goo eyed. Ah the big softy, we love ya. Now would you come on our network so we make some ad money? It makes me want to puke.

But be warned those of you now swooning over a pile of bloated talking slime. The con man knows one thing and one thing only. What con will you fall for? And last night showed this dastardly swindler exactly what the Washington press corps loves. Dead soldiers. Widows. Flag draped coffins. Cemeteries. War.

Donald Trump knows all of this. Hours after he refused to accept responsibility for sending Navy Seal Ryan Owens to his death in an attempt to make himself look like a warrior, and blamed the Generals, the military and of course, Barack Obama, this flim flam artist stood there and allowed a grieving widow to make him look human. And they fell for it hook line and sinker because they want to. There are very few Dan Rathers or Woodward and Bernsteins out there. Instead we get suck ups like Chuck Todd and Luke Russert and most of the rest of the DC press and yes even Van Jones. Stop already you easy marks.

This creepy clip artist is already ecstatic at the fact that by killing one soldier and getting praised for it he is now accepted by his press buddies he has spent all 70 of his miserable years trying to get to like him. Just think of the future. Trump is Pavlov's Dogs, both in intelligence and table manners. Christ, he'd spend all day licking himself if he could. And the one thing one of those dogs learned was do this get that.

The United States military is fucked. If you have a child in it, you better be scared cuz this draft dodging fraud now knows what the fake news likes. Death.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Ryan's Dope!

"Nobody knew healthcare was so complex." or so said the morally bankrupt shithead who calls himself POTUS, at least for now.

No you prancing nincompoop. It is not that difficult. If you know how to read that is. Perhaps you should go to a doctor sometime to get that sick mind of yours evaluated and find out if one of the gold-diggers from the 70's 80's or 90's you were laying around on your bed waiting for to stop barfing into the gold toilet gave you a parasite. You know, like your sons.

Look, there is no Republican plan to replace the Affordable Care Act. There never has been, never will be. That is unless you consider getting sick and dying a plan? Paul Ryan, possibly the worst excuse for a human being on the continent and certainly in the Bottom 10 throughout the globe, is a vicious bastard intent on establishing an Ayn Rand amusement park where the rich can get their jollies by making sure their generation is the last generation. Ryan's alleged plan is basically eliminating the individual mandate, eliminating subsidies for the poor and middle class, eliminate Medicaid by giving it back to the states (Good luck to any state with a trust fund creep running your state), bringing back the pre-existing conditions and of course that age old Republican idea, the good old Health Savings Account where you simply take all that money you have left over at the end of the month and put it away for a rainy day so when you get sick you are loaded. Where do Vampires like Ryan come from? Well when Paul Ryan's father checked out of his life when Little Paul was just starting to fantasize about killing old people, like his father, Little Paul got Social Security, which he saved for college. You know like those Health Care Savings Plans you folks can all rely on once the dead eyed Soylent Green advocate gets his way. But Paul Ryan doesnt like Social Security anymore since he already milked it for what he could get out of it.

Paul Ryan, the beady eyed motherfucker too cowardly to show up for a Town Hall, is the real danger to the nation. That loggerheaded fucker who runs the Senate is harmless compared to a widows peaked beastmaster like Ryan. And that dunderheaded syphilitic narcissist in the Oval Office is nothing compared to the treacherous misanthrope keeping his slimy hands on the nation's purse strings.

Paul Ryan is the danger. This Wisconsin cheese fuck is the man who will force seniors at some point to choose between insulin and the five dollar pizza that has to feed them for a week. And he will do it gladly, because Paul Ryans mind is so full of hate for humanity. Where that hate came from is beyond me. Maybe it came from the fact that when his father died and left Paulie to go on the government dole, it so affected his ability to get a boner looking at his Ayn Rand poster he never recovered.

So wake up America! Uncle Joe knew what a piss ant this DairyLand twit was back in 2012 when he sat there for 90 minutes listening to his bullshit. God do we another Joe Biden to put this dead souled empty vessel out to pasture.

Please Democrats. Fight this creep. Dont make me turn to these assholes.