Thursday, October 29, 2009

You All Can't Be Named Potter!

Remember what happened back in August of 1968 in Chicago? Riots in the streets, cops beating the hell out anybody who got in their way, Democrats in chaos, the Cubs in last place. 1968 wasn't that much different than now. But this week, in Chicago, a group of subhumans, financial terrorists if you will, all met in one place to plot their next scam on the American public. The American Bankers Association, jesus I about puked just typing that name, met in the Third City to decide how to spend the $17 trillion they got from us other than handing out bonuses. Despicable people allowed to plot crimes in broad daylight, with rah rah speeches from Newt Gingrich and that bow tied writer who apparently chokes his chicken to a picture of Michelle Bachman, or is it Gretchen Carlson, George Will.

The 1968 riots occurred because of the ongoing slaughter of kids called the Vietnam war. I would argue that these miscreants from Citibank and BOA and Goldman Sachs and Wells Fargo and whatever other thieving devil in that lousy business is far more of a threat than the Viet Cong ever were, or Al Queda, or The Taliban, or Iran, or John Gosselin for that matter. The riots that didn't happen should have. These people are destroying American lives while laughing all the way to the, oh yeah, they ARE the effing bank!

A whole lot a capitalism apologists seemed to have a real problem with the Obama Administration order to cut CEO salaries. It's not up to the government to tell private industry how much or little to pay its CEO's, they say. Private industry? Hardly. Not after accepting billions of taxpayer dollars to prop them up they aren't. Oh I am not that naive' to believe that these bastards won't find another way to steal our money. Bank of America's Kenneth Lewis is going to walk away with $125 million of public money, while loudly exclaiming he will not accept a salary in 2009. Gee, big of ya Kenny. Citigroup robber baron, Vikrim Bandit, er, Pandit, made $10 billion in 2008 for running that money pit into the ground and then accepted $45 billion in bailout funds.

Barack Obama is arguably the most powerful CEO in the world right now. It is his job to keep these thieves from furthering their ill-gotten gains despite the corporate sycophants of the Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times or the Washington Times, not to mention the banker's goons that permeate Congress. Obama has a lot to do, and so far not so good, but I'll give him time. I have no choice. In the meantime, I'll open my next banking statement telling me they're going to start charging me a new administrative fee called the "Just Because We Can Fee".

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hasta La Vista Baby!

Boy that Governor Terminator guy married to that Kennedy who won't shut up while in her car
may have run a state into za ground, but his vetoes are wunderbar!

Friday, October 23, 2009

What A Dick!

Dick Cheney, the disgraced former vice-president, can't keep his mouth shut. Accusing Barack Obama, of "dithering" on Afghanistan and "being afraid" to send more troops to Afghanistan, does this sonuvabitch have any shame whatsoever?

For 7 years, this lying sack o sheep do and his dimwitted puppet screwed up that war by lying, ignoring and killing their own troops, along with Canadians and Germans. Thinking that by cluster bombing the hell out of a mountain and installing a bogus funny hatted sycophant in power, that everything would be fine while the neo cons and the private corporations raped a different country they wanted hold of in the first place.

Cheney ripping the new guy who has to clean up the mess is like Otter telling Dean Wormer his parade was disaster. Yet Dick keeps on being Dick and the press keeps covering his blathering speeches to fellow moon howlers.

I know he aint shutting up soon, unless some sort of myocardial infarction takes him down. I don't hope for that at all. I want the sadistic prick to leave the country and get arrested and get thrown into court at the Hague and stuffed into a cell with the other thumb breakers and genocide enthusiasts currently lodging there.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Gimme Some Peanuts And Decent Umping!

This was both the dumbest play I've ever seen in a baseball game and then it turned into the worst call I've ever seen in a baseball game. You goddamned umpires are ruining my sport with your shitey calls. Looks to me like two Yankees are tagged out for being off base. That's a double play. It's stupid baserunning. But per the umpire, Tim McClelland, it was only one out because the Yankee being tagged wasn't really tagged as you can plainly see.

It started when Tiger Brandon Ilg was hit by a Twins pitcher, oh no he wasn't. Then Twins Joe Mauer doubled to left, oh no he didn't. Nick Swisher is out at second, oh no he's safe. Nick Swisher scores from third, oh no he's out. Then the single play seen above.

Jesus Christ , I'm the only baseball fan left. Don't make start liking the NHL.

Paging Homer Sexual & Miss Conduct!

This is the place that paid a former Governor of Alaska, Snowjob Squareglasses, to speak at their fine college deep in the Ozarks, thus the name. Judging from the code of conduct, it seems that the Jed Clampett School Of No Science seems to have a problem with , well, everything EXCEPT homosexual MISconduct. Woo hoo! Break out the rainbow flags and statue of liberty outfits. It's gonna be some Halloween down there in Point Lookout, Missoura.

Monday, October 19, 2009

6 Wins 1 Loser!

Guess times are tough in the Twin Cities as this guy just can't spare the $75 for a brand spankin' new Brett Favre jersey. Let's hope the next mercenary doesn't wear #8 or this dude's in trouble.

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Falcon Has Landed!

6 year old Falcon Heene blows oats on national television after his media whore father, Dick Heene, informs him next time he'd better goddamn well be IN that balloon. If ever there was a child services call needed, this is it!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Mr.Smithers Goes To Washington!

I may be a little late on this one but last Sunday in Washington DC thousands of marchers rallied in support of gay rights. Actually, I prefer the term "human rights". Considering the last rally held in DC a month before was in support of themselves by a bunch of self-involved teabaggers chanting how everybody must kneel in front of me, me, me, this one was actually for a cause, not a big circle jerk by easily led lemmings.

Human rights are kind of a big deal. Throughout the years, millions of people, handicapped by birth, have had to raise hell to get straight,white men to allow them the same, not extra, the same rights granted to white men by those so-called geniuses who founded the nation. Women, blacks, Indians, children, Asians, Hispanics, and gays and lesbians are the people, born exactly as described, yet who have had to fight for those rights. Though racism, sexism, and hatred of youth still exists, those folks have made a lot of progress over the years. The gay community, well that's a bit different. Thanks to religion, self hatred, and a whole lot of repression, this seems to be the only group of human beings it's still okey dokey to discriminate against and still feel good about yourself. Sickos, perverts, anti-family, and a whole lot of slurs I am not into are acceptable in this society. Most dumb people think the worst insult you can throw at somebody is to call them gay, in a far more crude manner. Wow. That's really deep. You may as well look at a giraffe and tell it "well you're a hippo". Morons.

Anyway, I'm rambling as usual but the point here is this. Human rights are for humans. It's about time humans in power started realizing that. I have no doubt, hopefully in my lifetime, that gays and lesbians will be thought of as "that guy next door" or that "married couple down the street" or " that guy is a dick" without the g or l word being used.

The acceptance is coming. Just remember, it is not cool to be a bigot. Jump on the train where you can tell everybody, yeah I was with them way back when it wasn't cool. Human rights for all.

Monday, October 12, 2009

He's Innocent? Kill Him Anyway!

I never thought there could be a worse Governor of Texas than our former President, George W Bush, but Rick Perry is right there. Governor "Goodhair", as the late, great Molly Ivins referred to him, in between kowtowing to nuts with secession talk, gets to whack a bunch of criminals. Texas, never shy about ridding itself of convicted killers with lousy defense lawyers, is in a bit of a moral pickle. Oh. I'm sure few in Texas give a damn, but Governor Rick Perry may have allowed one Cameron Todd Willingham, convicted of burning his own house down and killing his three toddler daughters, to be executed when evidence of his possible innocence was sitting on his desk. Wow, too bad for that guy, huh?

Cameron Willingham was a criminal. He had a history of minor offenses and was accused of beating his wife. He was no choirboy, that's for sure. But those crimes don't garner the needle, at least in the United States. On December 23, 1991, Willingham's house burned down and his 2 year old and twin one year old daughters perished. Willingham, burned himself, was arrested and tried for capital murder. Turning down a life sentence, he went to trial, was convicted and sent to death row.

February 14th, 2004 came and Perry was asked to postpone the execution, scheduled for February 17th, because new forensic evidence had been discovered. Perry said no. On the date of the execution, at 4:52 PM, a five page fax was received by Perry's office arguing that an arson expert had found shoddy investigation techniques had been used to convict. Nobody knows if Perry read the thing because at 6:20 PM, Willingham was executed after once again proclaiming his innocence.

Dr.Gerald Hurst was the forensic arson expert whose previous investigations had freed people from prison. In fact in October, 2004, 8 months after Willingham was killed, Dr. Hurst helped free another man from Texas' death row due to shoddy arson evidence. So this isn't some hired gun bopping from state to state for the money.

Perry isn't going to let this skunk stink if he can help it. When the Texas Forensic Science Commission, created to fix forensic problems, released a report criticizing the evidence in the Willingham case, Perry fired three of the members and replaced them with flunkies. The report was squashed. When Bush was in office, death penalty records were public. Perry says no.

I don't know if this guy was guilty or not. I do know that when you execute somebody, there is no redress of grievances. It is for this reason I have always opposed the death penalty. If one guy or gal goes down for a crime they didn't commit, it isn't worth it. And by the way, I have no problem with life without parole. That can be changed. Death cannot. Perry is a cynical, nasty, soulless bastard, just like his predecessor.

Want the whole story? Go to the Houston Chronicle.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Barry,Teddy & Woody!

I know I am supposed to be high fiving all my progressive friends over Barack Obama being handed the Nobel Peace Prize and nyah nyah nyahing the right wingers but I cannot. I find it almost offensive that in order to say eff you to George W Bush, the Norwegians decided to hand over the award to the next guy. Hey, Nobel Dudes, your Peace Prize guy is still waging Bush's wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and is this close to expanding the Afghan war into an even bigger clusterfuque. Couldn't you have given the medal and the $1.4 million to somebody who has actually caused a little peace? Oh I don't know, maybe Bill Clinton for all his charity work or how about Bono, a living saint, or maybe Brett Favre, who has caused your American relatives to go into an ecstatic glee.
Obama is the third sitting American President to win this prestigious award, which in the past has been given to a terrorist named Yassir and a war criminal named Kissinger. Teddy Roosevelt received it for ending the Russo-Japanese War and Woodrow Wilson won it for his efforts to end World War I. Barack Obama seems to have won it for not being George W Bush.
So congratulations to Barack Obama for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Now get to work earning the damn thing.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Top Ten Reasons Why I Don't Get It?

Scandal? Really? Scandal? David Letterman is a talk show host, a comedian, a curmudgeon, the equivalent of the guy playing the guitar on the corner for tips. Scandal? Child, please.

Everybody knows the story by now. Some producer at 48 Hours is living with Dave's ex-assistant, found her diary, read it and because he's such a deadbeat Dad decided to try and blackmail Dave for $2 million. Letterman went to the authorities, participated in a sting, gave the guy a fake $2 million, and when the guy, Robert "Joe" Halderman tried to deposit the "money" ,he crossed the line from conspiracy to extortion. He was arrested. Dave "confessed" on the air and that was that. Scandal? Sorry, it's a crime. Stop blaming the victim you Sarah, oops almost, Caribou Barbie freaks. Do you moralists realize how much tail Bob Hope pulled in? You think he was actually overseas to "entertain the troops"? Delores was nowhere to be found. Grow up!

In a sort of related story, one that hasn't been talked about much because of conservative America's need to justify their love of phonies like Todd Palin's soon to be ex, 48 year old Michael Barrett was arrested for secretly taping ESPN sideline eye candy Erin Andrews through a peephole in her hotel room as she stood naked in front of a mirror. Barrett apparently stalked her, got adjoining rooms as often as he could, and jockeyed with a peephole so he could do his taping. The lousy cell phone video showed up on the internet after TMZ refused to buy it and turned this idiot's name over to the FBI. Who knew TMZ had any ethics? Or was it because the cell phone video sucked?

Scandal? Stop it. These incidents were crimes. Both criminals are morons. Letterman and Andrews didn't get where they are by being stupid. Well, one didn't anyway. I heard many conservative guys beg to know where they could find the video of Erin Andrews. These same guys are now outraged at Dave. It just tells me all I need to know about right wing men. The suppression is so deep. Let's hope a tape of a naked Alaskan with glasses and a smug attitude never surfaces. Their heads would explode.

P.S.--- Snowbilly Sarah's "book" is called "Going Rogue"? Are you serious? They named her book after a line by Tina Fey which made us laugh at her? Why not "I Can See Russia From My House"? I can't wait for the English translation.