Monday, November 29, 2010

How To Fake Outrage And Plug A Stupid Book At The Same Time!

I am just so baffled by this dumb bitch that I can't even say anything but "you dumb bitch". Sorry for the lowest common denominator but reasoning is out of the question when it comes to this retard. By the way, Wikileaks is not an American website.

Friday, November 26, 2010

I'ma Pickin' And I'ma Grinnin"!!!!

I've lived in Omaha (that's in Nebraska for you Midwestophobes) my entire life. I have had my moments of wanting to move to someplace else, usually when it comes to hearing small town minds with loud mouths. Death Cab For Cutie put it best when they sang "cuz in my head there's a Greyhound station, where I send my thoughts to far off destinations,so they may have a chance of finding a place where they're far more suited than here". Well that is all fine and dandy (how more Midwest can you get that that? Saying things like that means I can't ever leave) but that doesn't make anything better for those of us here that don't think progress is for liberal commie nancy boys that want to force you to go to art museums and eat non beef food served by effete snobs with skinny ties.

There's this thing here called "recall". It means if an elected official is a crook, a scalawag, a child molester, a wife beater (though years ago that didnt seem to matter to the folks here hint hint) you can gather up a certain amount of signatures from registered voters and force the elected official to resign or face a recall election. Twenty years ago, this city got all pissy about a Democratic mayor, Mike Boyle, because he threw butter patties at a sitting Governor during a dinner and got into a schlong showing contest with the police chief. The Republicans, errrr, citizens got all offended and got enough signatures to put him into a recall. He was gone. Yeah, recalled a mayor for being a lout. Gee, mayors are never allowed to kick some ass around here. Nope. At least Democratic mayors aren't.

Now, another Democratic mayor, Jim Suttle, not a wife beater, who won election a couple of years back against a former Republican mayor, Hal Daub, never convicted of anything, and inherited this shitty economy is facing recall. Why? We have built a new arena, a new baseball stadium, a pedestrian bridge across the Missouri River, developed the riverfront to a nice area that you can go without dodging rats and raccoons, attracted industry and turned old warehouses in the formerly dead downtown into beautiful loft apartments and condos. In other words since the Small Town Brigade recalled the mayor in 1988, this town has gone from Yawnsville to a city with a vision. Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa! The Small Town Brigade is back. Stop the progress! It might cost some money!

Mayor Suttle is one of the worst PR politicians ever. Granted. He bought a hybrid car for the city to show what a green mayor he would be. Unfortunately, he let a car dealer finance the car at 29% interest. Ugh. This city also loves its pickup trucks so hybrids are thought of as some sort of tree hugging conspiracy designed to force pickup truck owners to face up to their shortcomings. Oh I'm sorry. Suttle hired business people to try to straighten out the cities' finances. Unfortunately, he paid them more than their predecessors. This pissed off the "hey I'd do that job for half that money" crowd. The salaries were lowered but the damage was done. Then the fatal blow. The infamous 2 1/2 % restaurant tax. If you eat at your local Burger King and spend $20 for the family, well you owe an extra 50 cents. Why? Well because the Omaha Police Union demands it. When they retire after 20 years, they get a "pension". This pension is based on 75% of their last few years salary. So what do Omaha Police do in their 18th 19th and 20th years of work? They work TONS of overtime, or as it's called "spiking". This raises their pension to outrageous levels. This spiking has led to millions of dollars of shortfalls that the city has to make up. So guess who the city is? Us.

Now the only perfect humans ever to your average Small Town Brigader are Jesus Christ, and cops. Cops are perfect. They never ever do anything wrong. When they shoot people with cellphones in their hand, when they plant evidence, when they "retire" early due to "disability" yeah go ahead, no problem! You do the job, they scream. If you're not doing anything know the mentality.

Suttle is taking the fall for this. He's the taxing guy. He's to blame. This crappy economy is his fault because he's there. And of course, he's a Democrat. The Small Town Brigade are teabaggers. 1776 is their year. This is what is going on here. The sudden stoppage of progress must be achieved. No solutions to the budgetary crisis of course. Just a bunch a horse's asses kicking down the barn.

Welcome to Hick Town USA. Again.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Why Does That Reverend Keep Saying God Is Fabulous!

Oh my goodness! You never know when the homosexual is about? Try your local megachurch, look up at the guy ranting on the altar or whatever you call it. He is "about".

In this day and age of teen suicides, teen alcoholism, teen depression and teens being teens, who in the hell is pro-bullying? Well try your average bigot writing for the World Nut Daily. Linda Harvey, writing for that esteemed web site, claims the homosexual agenda is to blame for suicides, not closet cased puritans like her. Take the Reverend Rick DeMato of the Liberty Baptist Church of Helena, Montana,please. The good Rev opposes anti-bullying guidelines proposed by the local school board because "We do not want the minds of our children to be polluted with the things of a carnal-minded society." Take the Anoka-Hennepin School District in Minnesota, again please. Placating religious zealots in their anti-bullying guidelines, they forced teachers to stay all Obama when it comes to gay parenting and sexual identity. In other words, they say nothing.

Everybody wants to throw up in their mouth a little when they see the Phelps' clan protesting at some dead soldier's funeral, right? Well to be against anti-bullying legislation because of your 1950's paranoia means you may as well change your name to Phelps and start having carnal relations with your extra chromosomed half sister.

Wake up! The teabaggers still believe that film above is Best Documentary Oscar material. It's going to be a rocky ride in the same car with these dimwits for the next couple of years. Let's just hope the collateral damage can be kept to a minimum.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Mother No Oh Mother, Blood Blood!

Good God, like we haven't seen enough of these nutty Republicans over the last few months, they have to bring back the one who started this descent into craziness? George W Bush is pimping his book all over Teabag America and telling crazy stories about how he was the voice of reason before invading the wrong country and how the low moment of his disastrous reign of error wasn't 9/11 or thousands of drowning fellow Americans in New Orleans but when some "singer" told the nation that he didn't care about black people? Well Jesus, Duh, Kanye!

But nothing explains the Bush psyche' better than the story of Babs and the fetus. Seems Barbara Bush had a miscarriage back before she turned into a George Washington impersonator and showed teenage George W his little brother or sister in a jar. What the fuck??? Gawdammmm.....No wonder he became a drunk. In fact I need a drink myself after hearing that. I wonder if there's a movement to nominate Fetus Bush/Palin in 2012?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Usa Hussein? I Thought There Were Only Uday And Qusay!

Yeah that's a sign at a church in Harlem put up by a criminal, Pastor David Manning. Manning is a jailbird from way back who decided after 3 1/2 years in a cage to change his former criminal ways to a whole new brand of criminal ways. Religion.

If we locked up every religious criminal (boy would that be great or what?) they'd have to throw all the pot smokers out on the street and thanks to the voters in the whole United States (after all everything starts in Caleefornia)we cannot do that.So Manning continues to run his con and get all sorts of fans.

Like Ann Coulter. He tweeted the picture around exclaiming that he had a new church. Then the Snow Grifter from Wasilla forwarded Mr.Coulter's tweet onward to her mouth breathing fans. And now, The Snowbilly has withdrawn the tweet as an "accident". Come on, Parasailin', pay that 10 year old Hindu kid who does your tweets more so "accidents" like that don't happen again.

As for Mr.Coulter, I'd like to kick him right in his nutsack.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Dude, They Should Make Votin' Easy Like American Idol!

Nice going,slackers! You stayed home and let the old, scooter ridin' Medicare suckers determine your future. 10% of the voters were under 30 and 25% of the voters had one foot in the crematorium. You can be baked to a crisp and figure that math aint gonna fly. Oh well, at least the teabaggers cost themselves the Senate.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Vote today. Or do you want this guy to win? It's that simple. Please vote.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Teabag Nation- Douchebag Edition!

The final category for the Teabaggers is the douchebags, the wingnuts, the disgraces. The ones who are already there or about to be.

1)Joe Barton (R-Tx)--- this is the guy who apologized to British Petroleum for letting our Gulf get in the way of their felonious ways. If the Republicans take control of the House, this goofy sonuvabitch is in line to chair the Energy and Commerce Committee, a truly frightening scenario. Perhaps Texas seceding is a good thing.

2)John Culberson (R-Tx)--- is there a pattern emerging already? WTF is up with Texas? Freaking secede already! Culberson once wrote a letter to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton regarding the most pressing problem of our time. The British travel ban on Michael Savage. She responded to have Savage change his name back to Weiner and travel at will (I made that part up). He's also one of the Birthers who wants to see Obama's birth certificate. And he's in the House to stay.

3) Paul Broun (R-Ga)--- this douchenozzle is already in Congress also. He has compared Obama to Hitler and claimed Obama would establish a "Gestapo-like" security force to enforce health care. He also referred to the Civil war as "the great war of Yankee aggression". And that was in 2010! This knuckledragging nitwit is also poised to head the House Science Committee if the Republicans win the House.

4) Virginia Foxx (R-NC)---she may be the dumbest member of Congress. That's saying something. She has voted against aid to Hurricane Katrina victims, voted no on renewing the Voting Rights Act and called the Matthew Shepard murder a "hoax". She has also said that the health care bill is a bigger threat than any terrorist. Kind of like she is athreat to North Carolina's collective IQ.

5)Jean Schmidt (R-Oh)--- a dead ringer for that crazy teacher in Donnie Darko, Schmidt recently lectured 6 year olds on the evils of abortion. Some may never recover since most of them were squarely in the stork brings babies corner. She has agreed with birthers on video. She also recently asked or an apology from an anti-tax group that had a cake made with her Margaret Hamilton like mug on it. Why? Because they cut it up and ate it. Obviously another assassination attempt. She's Bat Schmidt crazy.

6) Ben Quayle (hopefully nothing-AZ)--- the son of the dopiest Vice President ever actually makes his old potatoe head father seem quaint and somewhat charming. He's run a TV ad calling Obama "the worst President in history". He was the lead sexter on the "Dirty Scottsdale" website. He sent out a flyer with pictures of his wife and kids yet he has no kids. They were loaners apparently. Quayle trails in the polls and will not win. That's the great thing about America, we don't elect the sons of ex-Veeps or ex-Presidents. Oops!

7) Marsha Blackburn (R-Tn)---this blonde harpie almost got into a fistfight with Al Gore when she implied he was a climate change advocate for his own greed. She rails against Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. She has railed against money spent on Katrina victims. Blackburn is truly a sweet talking mean girl. Don't let that southern drawl fool ya. She's every bit as nasty as that screeching bandsaw from Alaska.

8) Allen West (Nut-Fl)--- a retired (thank god) lieutenant colonel running for Congress in Florida has claimed to have a higher security clearance than President Obama. This despite the fact the Army ran him out of town for firing a pistol near an Iraqi man's head during an interrogation. He recently claimed 47% of Americans pay no taxes and still are "able to vote for their own entitlement programs – be it free healthcare, free education, free cars, free cellphones ". What does West know about taxes? He had a bit of an $11,000 IRS problem himself. And the guy is winning?

9)Trent Franks (R-Az)--- this sun baked sot has called Obama "an enemy of humanity". He's also claimed blacks were better off as slaves than they are now. He asked the House Sergeant at Arms to look for "Muslim spies" on congressional committees. Franks is living proof that Arizona and its 24-7 stove top heat causes brain rot.

10) Lee Terry (R-Ne)--- so completely unknown that Evil Dick Cheney once referred to him as "Terry Lee" while campaigning for him, this Nebraska nerd is my congressman. So allow me to rant on this dork. He wins, but by decreasing margins each time. If his district was Omaha alone, he would be back in his law office chasing his tail. But because the Republican hacks in the Nebraska legislature gerrymandered his district to include a county full of miltary retirees, he wins by 3 or 4 points each time. Terry is as worthless a congressman as there is. He does whatever he's told, is fully owned by the drug companies, can change his stripes to whatever audience he's lying to and hides behind others while defending himself in his TV ads. Terry is truly a geek, a dork AND a nerd. That's his greatest accomplishment. Go away!

The douchebags of the right make life difficult. Some of them are entrenched, revealing many American voters to be douchebags themselves. But many can be thrown away after Novemeber 2nd. let's make sure it happens. Vote, Damn it!