Monday, September 28, 2015

A Chump, A Hump And A Trump!

Wow. I was holding off writing about this Republican orgy of dumb because I figured by now the party faithless would have fallen into line, had their butlers throw the trailer park trash out , and gotten back to the coronation of Jeb The Dullard to be the next loser they put up to be the victim of massive voter fraud.

But alas, or rather WOO HOO, the rube section of the party has continued to lie to pollsters and express their support for a loudmouthed reality show star, a failed CEO and a brain surgeon who apparently practiced on his own cerebellum. LOTS.

Trump. What can you say? I don't know. Just ask him and his media pimps and he'll carry on like a failing used car salesman by saying your first name over and over as he tries to keep you from walking out the door. Scott Scott no Scott you see Scott my tax plan Scott is terrific Scott because it has a zero percent rate Scott I've never told anyone that Scott. So you see all Trump needs is a plaid suit to go along with his plaid mind. I'm sick of his shit. But then again, my IQ approaches 80 so repetition kind of gets annoying. I don't forget as easily as the Trump lovers dumb enough to give a billionaire another $25 for a $1 truckers hat.

Carly Fiorina. I guess getting your ass kicked by a vulnerable Barbara Boxer in a Senate race wasn't enough to squelch that ego. Fiorina, whose main asset seems to be she's not Hillary, is regarded as Republican royalty now by the types who think going 2 for 4 in a Triple A All Star Game makes you the next Mike Trout or winning a $10,000 claiming race at Santa Anita means it Breeders Cup time. Fiorina, who was let into the major leagues for the last debate simply because she's a chick, sorry chicks, it's true, has gone all in on lying and lying and lying again because real life is not a current Republican litmus test.

Planned Parenthood has taken babies out of a woman, let it kick and cry on a table, while a Basil Rathbone voice says off camera, vee must keep it alive so vee can harvest its brains. Carly has seen the video, with her own eyes and goddammit don't talk to her about unless you too ave seen it which is probably impossible since it doesn't exist. Much like 30,000 jobs didn't exist right after she took HP down the shitter. Oh you can see the video if you really want to. Its on her website. Wait, it isn't? Oh yeah cuz it doesn't exist. Much like Carly's kid who died of drinking way too much. Well the kid existed but Carly has as much to do with making her as she did with creating any jobs at HP.

But that face! No not the Trump version of her face. The one that's not quite foreign or 20 something enough for Donnie boy. No I'm talking about that permanent face she has that makes people see it and then take a quick right turn cuz you know she's out to get somebody at all times. Put a nun's habit on Carly and I'd have to go for PTSD treatment. YIKES!

Ben Carson. He operates on brains. And he's black. Proof positive that some Republicans will tell a pollster they would vote for a black guy they know has the same chance of winning as a Confederate Flag bearing nitwit does at having a brain Ben Carson would even bother to operate on.

Carson is living proof that you can be a very smart man. In one area. And be a raving loony bird in all other areas. Carson doesn't like them Muslims much. He thinks Obamacare is worse than slavery. He thinks you go into prison a manly man and come out all swishy and gay. He thinks the Bible is the best economics book ever for all tax rates shalleth be 10% because of what it sayeth in the 2000 year old Book of Fairy Tales. He loves to push that old standard that while the Nazis were burning Margaret Sanger books they secretly masturbated to her picture cuz she wanted to eugenics out the blacks and Jewey people.

Carson stands onstage at debates in a kind of Nosferatu mode. Sleepy and droopy eyed, Carson wakes up just in time to answer a question with a delivery so slow I half expect him to doze off in mid sentence. I know I do when the good doctor starts droning on about something he knows nothing about. Carson is also the whitest man I know. Hell, his attempted response to Donald Trumps high five was the whitest moment maybe ever. Right on, brother!

Wow, Republicans. This is your win, place and show? I am speechless.