Saturday, March 10, 2012

Helter Skelter?

Oh this guy is something isn't he? Oh I know he portrays himself as an "entertainer" everytime he spews out some anti-(fill in the blank as long as it's not white male Republicans) that gets some all up in arms. But really! Hasn't this windbag run his course yet?

I saw that during this week's "shows" that Limbaugh had only 7 paid ads run during his daily three hour vomit-fest and 48 or so PSA's run, presumably for the utter pain of being down to your last million or so. Rush has been around for 25 or so years, repeating himself over and over, just plugging in different names for his daily rant. But his listeners, all 20 zillion or so, keep coming back for more. Day after day. Week after week. Year after year. My question is why? For fucks sake, I love to listen to Tony Kornheiser, or Stephanie Miller, or anybody else who isn't doing a Limbaugh imitation on their local 50 watt blowtorch. And even those people inevitably begin repeating themselves. Thus I tune out for a couple of weeks or so. Then I come back and it's all new again. Podcasting is wonderful, because when the host begins repeating themselves, yeah Stephanie Miller, I mean how many more fucking times do I have to hear that Sexy Liberal tour plug, I can fast forward to another great example of right wing hypocrisy. But when Rushbo repeats himself, which usually happens about 5 seconds after he blasphemes Chrissie Hynde's Ohio, the 20 gazillion dittoheads begin to froth at the mouth and prepare to get to knee slappin' at the racist, sexist and homophobic comedy that poses as "talk".

Hey, I used to listen to that clown way back when. I didn't agree with anything the Cape Girardeau High School dropout and pilondial cyst sufferer said, but he got me to think. Yeah, think. Think about how many times I could call some moron a moron everytime he repeated a Limbaugh-ism and portrayed it as his own crazy thought. Oh how I would howl at someone tell me how big Hillary's hips were (sound familiar?) or his always hilarious take on Bill Clinton's lecherous ways. Or wait wait, how about dittoheads and their always belly laughing take on the "Reeee-verend Jack--sonnnnnnnn" (sound familiar?).

Oh Rush, what it must be like to have those adoring 20 bazillion gillion fans every day (Ha). Oh, what it must be like to be that popular with normal everyday Americans. You must just lap it up.

Yeah, that's why Rush has been married four times, lives in a palatial mansion surrounded by walls, broadcasts his daily marching orders from a bunker underneath his mansion, converses with an invisible "friend" named Snerdly, bought his own private plane so he wouldn't have to fly with, you know, THEM, pops pain pills like candy and doesn't even get it that pain pills don't work on mental pain, travels to Carribean countries with off brand boner pills, and is admired by virtually nobody of any prominence. Rush, you don't really think those Republican boot lickers would ever let you into the club? They don't like you, they hate you. They're just afraid of your Manson like followers who tend to write nasty letters and emails with lots of f words whenever their fearless cult leader is slighted.

Rush, you know what? Of course you know what. You live in virtual hiding 24/7. You're 20 billion zillion gajillion listeners are stupid. And to you, dangerous. How much longer is $40 zillion a year going to make you happy? Apparently, from the way you hide, insult people less powerful than you, bully Republican spineless weasels, and hate hate hate as much as you must, you aren't very happy, because, Rush, deep down you know it, you're always going to be the fat kid from Cape Girardeau who wasn't very bright, was the ne'er do well of the Limbaugh family and was made fun of. Once you get over that, Rush, welcome to the human race. Hanging out by yourself and having scary dimwits worship you cannot be what you dreamed of?

On the other hand, maybe being about 2 IQ points over even your smartest listeners is enough for you. Sorry, Rush. Somewhere I think Daddy still doesn't approve.

Saturday, March 3, 2012