Friday, October 25, 2013

Hello Oslo?

Hey hey there, see what that socialist Kenyan Nazi foreigner gay Obama is causing? Told ya so! Now all those blacks think they can talk and shit. And look how angry they are! Migawd, you'd think they didn't have every advantage in the world that of course they have since the most discriminated people on earth are white christian breeders. What do they want for chrissakes? More money? More respect? For the love of Frederick Douglass, they oughta just be gawdammed glad they don't work for free any longer and remember they never thanked the whites for the free boat ride here. Ungrateful asshats!

For a long time now, the job creating Americans have offered up work to anybody who wants a job, except maybe 7.2% or so, and what the hell is the response? Demonstrations! Bitching! Griping! Come on now, when the Wal Mart or the McDonalds or any other low wage, oops, minimum wage, oops, "fair" wage companies actually have gone the extra mile here and offered up help for their happy workers to get food stamps or welfare or ADC or WIC or any other government program designed to suck the hard working CEO's dry. Yep, here's the number to get food stamps, now shut the fuck up! Hey, did we send the company contribution to the patriotic Republicans who want to end food stamps cuz all these employees are leeches?

Ok, to be serious again here (gawd I hate being serious), these companies make billions in profits every three months. Wal Mart made a "surprisingly low" profit of $4.7 billion in the second quarter of 2013. McDonalds, patient zero in the obesity epidemic, made a $ 1.5 Billion profit in the 3rd quarter of 2013. Part of this is that they pay their average employee like they live in fucking China or something. Christ, go pound your clothes on a rock and eat off the dollar menu and for the love of Randall Terry, stop breeding cuz if you get all pregnant you will be forced to worship The Fetus and then your $8 an hour won't go as far. Gawd you people are so irresponsible.

The facts are facts. The fact (bahhhhh, facts!!) is that the low wage companies, the Wal Marts, the McDonalds, The Yum Foods, the Subways, the Burger Kings cost the taxpayers $7 billion a year in government assistance. Seems their precious employees can't even afford to live. Do they care? Fuck no! Instead they get $20K a year Republicans to hate their own employees. Leeches, blood suckers, the 47%. It's going to explode at some point. I just saw a local production of Les Miserables and dammit, I was ready to build the barricades myself. Unfortunately, most of the people sitting with me in the auditorium wildly applauding would probably call Americans building barricades a bunch of hippie losers. As John Lennon said, most were just jangling their jewelry.

Hey I'm no Alan Greenspan, or Rand Paul or any other economic genius, but it seems to me it's the working poor who shop at Wal Mart, and load up on the dollar McDoubles at McDonalds. Uhhh, I don't want to speak out of ignorance here, like certain grads of the Wharton Business School do, but wouldn't it be advantageous for the low wage, oops, minimum wage, oops again, ah fuck it, the slave wage payers to raise the pay of their employees, take the hit to the $4.7 billion in profits, like reducing it to $4.699 billion, and sit back and wait for the newly "rich" to storm the store and buy stuff they currently can't buy? Call me crazy, or a commie, but it makes sense to me.

I guess I'm so economically ignorant, that people like Michele Bachmann (Gabe-Mn)and the state of Arizona led by Jan Brewer (Lizard-Az) want to do away with the minimum wage and it sounds insane to me. Bachmann says unemployment would go down to zero, you know, like back in the good old days before 1865. Arizona says reducing the minimum wage to $5 an hour for people under 22 would cause unicorns to fly from the clouds. Yeah! I see teenagers getting that special dollar a gallon gas all the time. Why do the need a minimum wage???

So there ya go. Either pay people more so they can shop at your store and buy more stuff thus increasing your already obscene profits OR pay them less and at least everybody will have a job! Uh, I'm going with solution #1.

Now where do I pick up my Nobel Prize for Common Sense?

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Smith & Carlos!

Back in 1968, 45 years ago last week, at the Mexico City Olympic Games, an event occurred on the medal stand that infuriated Americans of all stripes and political views. Noooooo, not really, it only infuriated the current members of the Tea Party, who somehow were all 70 years old even back then.

1968 was a bad year if you really didn't care for assassinations and riots and shit like that. The 1968 Olympics took place in Mexico City that year, and a lot of black athletes, led by Dr.Harry Edwards, were telling the United States Olympic Committee that, yeah, we aren't going to participate because once we win a medal, we get shoved back into the ghettos and shitholes and get called N bombs and all that Star Spangled Banner stuff doesn't really apply to us, or our brethren. Kareem Abdul Jabbar, then known as Lew Alcindor, refused to go for instance.

Tommie Smith and John Carlos were sprinters entered in the 200 meter sprint. Smith won the gold and Carlos won the bronze. When they went to the victory stand, well you know what happened. The fists went up and white America was outraged.

This act of courage, yes, courage, is my favorite Olympic moment of all time. And that's saying something because my second favorite Olympic related moment is Shane Standt whacking Nancy Kerrigan on the thigh back in 1994. You don't even want to know my third favorite moment because it involves East German female swimmers with five o'clock shadows and bulges in their speedos.

Smith and Carlos, and to a certain degree, second place finisher Australian Peter Norman (clue, he's the white guy) all suffered repercussions back home. Sportswriters from Dick Young to Brent Musburger all hammered them for not being tap dancing patriotic minstrels. Lots of white people were already having palpitations over Jose Feliciano singing the national anthem really weird at the 1968 World Series and now this? Peter Norman went home to Australia and was derided and ignored the rest of his life and when he died in 2006, Carlos and Smith were pallbearers. Avery Brundage, the head of the Olympic Games in 1968, threw Smith and Carlos out of the "nonpolitical" Olympics for their protest and this was a guy who sucked Hitler's ass back in 1936.

John Carlos and Tommie Smith are still around. They've had tough lives since that day in October of 1968. But they are immortal. Nobody remembers anybody from those Olympic Games but everybody remembers two courageous men standing there and telling the world what was going on in their home nation.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

General Butt Whaaaaaaaaaat?

There's a fine line between stupid and clever as rock legend David St.Hubbins told us in This is Spinal Tap. Few can pull both off at the same time. But South Park creators Matt Stone & Trey Parker do it regularly, in fact they go beyond clever and usually move right into brilliant. Their South Park movie was so brilliant it almost brought an Academy Award to one of it's songs. Blame Canada was nominated but rejected by the stodgy academy in favor of the Phil Collins snoozer "You'll be In My Heart". Stone and Parker are also responsible for Team America and "America, Fuck Yeah!" shouted out everytime we do something stupid, which is often.

The Book of Morman has been in town for a week or so and we all went to it today. Now that it's gone from here in Nebraska it probably means its been everywhere so I'm preaching to the choir but all I can say is if you get a chance and haven't forked over the $50 and up ,DO IT! It is worth every penny.

The show is offensive, distasteful, filthy, objectionable, blasphemous, and fucking hilarious. I had tears in my eyes on a couple of occasions howling at some of the lyrics to the songs and some of the dialogue.

The story involves two Mormon missionaries assigned to preach to Ugandans for their two year mission. Two white Mormons. yeah I know its redundant, in Uganda? Yeah it's great. Nothing is off limits in this show and nothing does not get harpooned. Jesus, Joseph Smith, Aids, Murder, Gays, Religion, and even radiology get a prominent place in being lampooned in this play. We all loved it.

So if you think that Mormonism is as nutty as Scientology or any other religion for that matter, go find this someplace and patronize it. In the program we got, the Mormons placed an ad asking you to now read the Book of Mormon. I presume either Mormons have a sense of humor, which we know is not true since Mittens Romney is one of them, or they are really as clueless as Elder Cunningham. Or there's a third possibility. That being they are as arrogant as every other religion in thinking people aren't really laughing at them, but with them. Nope. It's at you.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Day Care On The Potomac!

Now that the bratty little treasonous shits have been defeated after successfully doing something no foreign nation, no enemy of the United States, no terrorist or even the Sandinistas couldn't accomplish, shutting down the most powerful government on earth, let's go to the adult, Chairman Kenyan Indonesian Communist Socialist Muslim Fuehrer Barack Osama Hussein Obammy spike the ball and tell the opposition tea party he will not help them pull it out of their ass.

The Tea Bag Party is still sniffling and grumping and rounding up a list of idiots so vast, it really does point out the need for more mental hospitals, to run against the Nobama kiss asses like Thad Cochran (Old Racist-Ms) and Mitch McConnell (Yertle-Ky) in Republican primaries so the Democrats can continue to hold the Senate and the tea baggers can continue to whine and complain and be all non racist cuz that's easy.

Obama today rubbed it all in on the tea party by stating "You don't like a particular policy or a particular president? Then argue for your position. Go out there win an election,".

What in the name of Ronald Reagan did that disrespectful, Black Panther, Muslim, smart ass, anti white, Marxist, boy say? How dare he!!! Why back in teabag glory days, that kind of sass talk would have resulted in the use of a cotton gin, some rope and a river. My stars, why can't this man be more like the last president who showed up to spike the ball at the 50 yard line on an aircraft carrier with a flight suit, a cucumber and a stupid ass banner?

Seriously, and god knows how I love being all serious, what Obama needs to do now is crush these fuckers while they are down. To let these creeps back up is akin to letting the guy who just tried to kill your child back up. Knees on shoulders, a couple of slaps, and wait for the cops, in this case, normal sane people voting the Gohmerts and the Kings out of office and back to the street corners from which they came.

If Obama does not get tough, this shit will happen again. The fear shown by Boner, McConnell and the rest of the leadership is really not very manly. To be afraid of scooter riding nincompoops interested in preserving a white America and a boatload of free government stuff while proclaiming how their rude, obnoxious and plain dumb behavior is all for their grandkids is the ultimate in cowardice. Fuck these people and their real agenda. The same old bunch of nitwits that have been around since Barry Goldwater lifted the rock and let them slither out.

Come on, President Obama, become all they fear. A pissed off black man ready to come boil them in a pot.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Sunday, October 13, 2013

When Tea Bag Comes Waddling Home Hurrah!

The usual suspects, the totally non racist tea party showed up in Washington along with their Princess of the North, The Quitta from Wasilla, to continue that obsession they have with the WW 2 Memorial. Listening to screeds from the likes of Canadian interloper Teddie Cruz (R-Alberta) and Mormon Nutjob Mike Lee (R-Planet Kolob) the non veteran crowd was whipped into a frenzy so much that they took down barricades and walked around asking "hey what's this Bataan Death March, did that Nobammy do that to the Bataanies?"

But finally, after a rousing speech by conservative paranoid schizophrenic Larry Klayman in which he brought up the standard crowd whipper upper points about Korans and Mooslims and demanded that President Hussein come out of the White House with his hands up, the totally non racist teabaggers waddled over to the White House and waved Confederate flags. What, no sale at Wal Mart on pre made nooses?

And remember everyone, "Repect Our Vets"!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

No Seriously, I Meant Idiot As An Honor To All Idiots!

Listening to talk radio is impossible now as it's nothing but right wingers ranting about the Mooslim Kenyan Socialist Nazi shutting down the gubmint they hate so much, sort of right wingers jerking off to this guy who mowed the lawn in Washington DC and hollering how the whole government should be manned by volunteer lawn mowers, volunteer cops and volunteer air traffic controllers, and left wingers, oh right, there aren't any lefties on radio because libtards can think for themselves.

Then there's sports talk radio. The bastion of those mouth breathers too fucking stupid to even have a stupid political opinion about how Ditka would have beaten Obama and saved us from the apocalypse that is sure to happen now that poors can go to the doctor and not die from a preventable disease.

Nothing makes me heap big smile than a bunch of slack jawed white guys hollering about how the Washington Redskins nickname doesn't offend them at all. Then they scream about how Irish people should be all pissed about the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. But of course Irish people are either drunk or punching each other so they have no time to get all offended by some college team with a French and gay name so there.

Redskins? Seriously? In 2013? I am not going to debate whether Redskins is offensive because of course it is and if you can't see it what's the point? But the origin of how the Redskins name came about is verryyyyy interesting. Named by owner George Preston Marshall, current hell dweller and notorious racist asshole when he was on earth. Marshall took until 1962 to sign a black player, and left his fortune to his foundation with the caveat that the $6 million not be used "for any purpose which supports or employs the principle of racial integration."

So I'm sure that Marshall's name "Redskins" was in complete honor to our Native American citizens. Even the Cleveland Indians owner was all up in their face about the name Redskins saying they should change it. And this Cleveland jackoff continues to use Chief Wahoo. Chrissakes, when other racial offenders call you out, maybe you should listen.

And as far as this idiot pictured above, Chief Zee, aka Chief Dumbfuck, what the hell is the matter with this moron? Geez, Chief Zee, we know all Indian chiefs were black and wore glasses, who doesn't know that? Spot on, bro.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

I'll Bet Hitler Never Would Have Closed The WW2 Memorial!

Acht Du Lieber! Since the Republicans shut down the Nazi Government of one Adolf Goebbels Goering Hussein Obama they've gone all Simon Wiesenthal in trying to bring down the Acorn elected administration. Oh the hyperbole' of the right wing. The batshit craziness and the absolute stupidity is a lethal cocktail that's making me certainly feel like I have one gigantic fuckin hangover.

Arizona State Representative Brenda Barton (Walking Dead-Some Hick Town in Az)took to that bastion of free speech, Facebook, to announce her contempt for that brownshirted brown face in the White House. Well let her say it because I refuse:

"Someone is paying the National Park Service thugs overtime for their efforts to carry out the order of De Fuhrer... where are our Constitutional Sheriffs who can revoke the Park Service Rangers authority to arrest??? Do we have any Sheriffs with a pair?"

National Park "thugs"? "De Fuhrer?" (by the way, leatherface, its Der Fuehrer unless she's talking about some German Industrial band I've never heard of) and Sheriffs with a pair of what? Truck Nutz?

But Barton, who looks like she really needs a skin check, went on....

" While the POTUS continues to punish the American people; he keeps open his golf course, he keeps open Camp David, and he retains his and his wife's excessive staff and stable of Czars! I'll bet he has kept in service his 3 food tasters!!!"

Commandant Obama has his own golf course? Wow! Being from Arizona she sounds a bit jealous to me . He and his wife's excessive tastes? Translation-- you know those blacks and eating stuff on Food Stamps other than Mac Donalds and red kool aid. 3 food tasters? Yeah, probably black too. Leeches.

Barton, so goddamned dumb, she leaves crazy voicemails yelling at her political opponents and thinks Boormann Hess Obama is having catholic priests arrested for saying Mass on military bases, though to be fair, an even dumber human named Steve Stockman (Imbecile-Tx) told her that whopper.

Brenda Barton, standing up against freedom hating Obama Nazis, unless of course it involves starving poors, jamming dildos with a camera up women's hoo hoos or letting the Mexicans even breathe that Arizona air, then she goes full on Third Reich on their asses.

Meanwhile up in Yellowstone, the Park Ranger "thugs" are really racking up the Nazi points. According to some tour guide named Gordon Hodgson of Provo, Utah (gee I wonder who he voted for) the thugs who work for the National Socialist Park Service kept people from taking pictures of buffalo, walking up to Old Faithful and sticking their faces over it and petting the cuddly bears. Jesus! Well again lets let Hodgson hang himself:

She told me you need to return to your hotel and stay there,” Hodgson said. “This is just Gestapo tactics. We paid a lot to get in. All these people wanted to do was take some pictures.”

Gestapo tactics? Again really?

Hey look, Tea Party nutjobs like Gordon Hodgson and Brenda Barton. There are no Nazis running anything other than their meth infested mouths. If Field Marshal Obama and the National Gestapo Park Service were actually using Gestapo tactics, George Hodgson would have been on his knees getting a bullet in the back of the head and Brenda Barton would have had her leathery skin made into a lampshade by now.

So back off on the Nazi shit. It makes you people even uglier than you already are.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Dang Straight!

I may have mentioned this before, but my Congresscreep is none other than a back benching nobody named Lee Terry or Terry Lee who never fails to astound with his ability to play both sides. He is pictured above trying to butt in on a Sound of Music audition where he wants to play one of the Nazis and send the Von Trapps to Mauthausen-Gusen for a little Arbeit Macht Frei.

This Congressdork is in the news for saying that he would not forgo his Government paycheck while the shut down is still going on. Terry, once again MY CongressGeek, made it plain and clear by going all Jerry Lundegard on the reporter who asked him will you keep your paycheck. "Dang Straight!" Hey, America, we don't really talk like that here, just complete Congressnerds like Lee Terry. But Terry wouldn't shut his Runzahole and continued when asked well, what about those Congressfoolk who do say nahhhhhh, no paycheck, or give it to food banks, where lazy out of work bums go to keep from starving..."Whatever gets them good press, that's all that it's going to be. God bless them. But you know what? I've got a nice house and a kid in college, and I'll tell you we cannot handle it. Giving our paycheck away when you still worked and earned it? That's just not going to fly.”

Yep, that's my boy. Bragging about his nice house and educated kid and saying how if he stopped getting paid his wife would beat his wimpy ass up (believe me she would).

But be rest assured, America. Lee Terry keeps squeaking by winning with 51-55% of the vote here in Nebraska's 2nd District. One of his latest races got a bit too close for comfort, so the Republican dominated legislature just added more retired Air Force flyboys to his district. So probably, Lee Terry doesn't give a fuck if you hate him for keeping his goddamned money. The double dippers who dominate his district will just put him back in. Government money rocks when its for them.

UPDATE---In yet another example of this tool playing both sides, Congressweasel Lee Terry has announced he will NOT be taking his pay any longer. Told ya.

Loco Reigns!

How bad is it in Washington DC when the craziest person there is NOT some mentally unstable, unarmed, woman from Connecticut who gets whacked by an unpaid police force for driving bad and what the hell, maybe the cops were pretending she was Ted Cruz or something. Hey, the unpaid cops got a standing ovation from the guys who stopped paying them. I'll bet that made them think yep, this is all worth it.

Who is nuttier?

Randy Neugebauer (Another Crazy Person From-Tx), who before now was best known for hollering "Baby Killer" at some Democrap baby killer during a "debate" about abortion on the floor of the House, decided he'd rather be known for being a complete asshole by waddling over to that WW2 Memorial he shut down and verbally assaulting some female Park Ranger for doing what he and his buddies told her to do. Shut down da gubmint. Except when he can get his face on TV and pretend like he gives a shit by being a big fucking bully to one of those chicks who oughta be home makin babies instead of working for the gubmint. When some bike riding male decided to tell Neugebauer to fuck off and stop being a jerk, he ran away like most Republicans do whenever danger lurks. The irony of this Texas pussbag running from a mean old bike rider while pretending to defend the rights of veterans who got shot at by Nazis and crazy Banzai people is not lost on anyone other than the 74% of dumbass Texans who elected this dirtbag.

Sarah Palin, well that is just too easy. But fuck it. Palin, going all Abbie Hoffman, calls for "civil disobedience" by running around the "Barrycades" at the WW2 Memorial and being all Patriotic-ey and stuff because Obama has chefs and golf courses and he didn't send "security" to stop Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi and he's black like Glen Rice and blahhhhhhhhh.

Mark Levin, a shrill Lollipop Guild member who screeches into a radio microphone nightly wants Obama to know one goddamned thing. If "You lay one hand on one of those men and arrest them for going to their memorial.......we will come out of every town and city in this nation! We will come out of every county. And both coasts! Both borders! And we will march on Washington against your tyranny!".......

Wow, Mark. That's big talk from a non veteran troll like yourself. How would Obama and his Nazi Socialist Communist Muslim security force handle you and your 15 or 20 wheelchair bound listeners from storming the White House. Or the early bird buffet at the Golden Corral? Levin , the cartoon voiced squirrel, rants nightly on radio because Sean Hannity is better looking to the half blind 75 year olds who watch Hannity on television. Poor Mark. Bitter because he writes all of Hannity's books, tells Hannity what to say, and gets none of Hannity's "glory". Levin in a crowd would be in danger of being a dwarf.

And finally, before I implode from all this stupidity, is Texas (where else?) Congressscum John Culberson (Dick-Tx) who hollered "Let's roll!" as House Anarchists voted to shut down the government because of that Muslim Commie health care bill that would give all those lazy ass poors access to a doctor. Culberson, a terrorist who has stopped the American government from functioning, is pissed because Nobammy talked to that "lunatic" in Iran, that "psycho" in Syria and "terrorists" everywhere before he'd talk to Culberson and his band of "terrorists". Hey John, Iran and Syria and Momammed Atta and Osama Bin Obama could not stop the United States Government from functioning, maybe it pissed its pants a bit but it kept going, but YOU did. Who's the fucking problem here?

God, those Texas textbooks are getting dumber and dumber. If Culberson and Neugebauer are products of the OLD Texas textbooks that were deemed too liberal for dainty lil Texas schoolkiddies, what the hell are they teaching them now? That 30 > 435 and fuck the three branches of government, the only thing that counts is what I and my fellow dimwits think. Now go get on your dinosaur like Jesus did and speak English just like Jesus did.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

D Day?

Hey everybody step right up, the House Republicans fell all over themselves after shutting down the WW II Memorial to get there for a little "civil disobedience" and let the old geezers past the barricades. Now granted, the news media, the liberal news media that is, liked to smile and talk about oldsters "storming the barricades" and write headlines referring to Hitler and Tojo getting their ass kicked again because after all, Steve King (Possessed-Ia) and Louie Gohmert (Beyond Stupid Even For-Tx) are every bit as big a threat to this nation as Der Fuehrer and Mojo Tojo was.

The WW II Veterans showed up at the "closed" Memorial yesterday as yet another grandstanding asshole , Republican Steven Palazzo (PT Barnum-Ms) showed up to let' em in. Oh and who else, let's see, the aforementioned non veteran King, the aforementioned Texas twit Gohmert, and who just happened to be "walking by" but Congress' best looking crazy bitch Michele Bachmann (Gabe-Mn). Are those three involved in some kind of twisted threesome where they furiously sexy time each other by making crazy eyes and then shutting each other down at the exact moment anything makes sense?

The "civil disobedience" referred to involved Steve King (Shitferbrains-Ia) "distracting" the guards while Palazzo and the rest of these self aggrandizing pricks removed the rope and let the old guys "storm" the Memorial. King, you old rabble rouser you. I guess you have a bit of Dennis the Menace in you after all, you old scamp. "Civil Disobedience" eh Steve old sport.

Let me tell you what my father would have done. He was a WW 2 veteran involved in kicking Hitler's ass. He didn't talk about man's inhumanity to man much. He probably didn't storm anything except maybe the beer truck when it showed up at the muddy camp at Dusseldorff. He would have seen people like King, Gohmert, Bachmann and Pallazo jacking themselves off for the cameras and probably have gotten on one of those "Honor Flights", taken a taxi to the Memorial, gotten out and pepper sprayed every one of those Republican blowhards for their "civil disobedience". Then he would have walked around the Memorial and enjoyed every second of it.

Those veterans didn't need your fucking help, Steven, Steve, Michele and Louie. They could have asked the guard to let them in and it would have worked. But to be pawns in your bullshit was what it's all about. Had they not all been 87 plus, some of them may have stormed you right out of the way. But to you clowns, they're just somebody to take advantage of momentarily, get your picture taken and twittered out by the googly eyed 25 year old staffer, then go back to Capitol Hill and cut funding from their health care.