Sunday, April 22, 2018

Lean On Pete!


If Charlie Plummer isnt nominated for all sorts of acting awards for Lean On Pete at the end of the year I will be amazed. The young actor who played J Paul Getty's grandson in last years's All The Money In The World is in virtually every scene of this movie. But first things first.

Lean On Pete is the story of a young man named Charlie, a poor young man, living hand to mouth with his father in Portland. His father isnt a bad guy, he just cannot do anything right and Charlie pays the price. One day Charlie discovers the local horse racing track and treats it as something to do. He gets a job as a gopher with low rent horse trainer Del (Steve Buscemi) and travels the northwest racing a horse named Lean on Pete, sometimes winning but mostly losing. Buscemi is also not a bad guy, but an older man beaten down by life. After Charlie's father departs the movie and Charlie is on his own he begins his quest to find his long lost Aunt Marjie in Wyoming. When Pete comes in last it breaks Buscemi's will to keep him. Horses that dont win "go to Mexico" and Charlie will not allow that to happen.

He steals Pete and leads him on a journey to Wyoming. Walking east, Charlie and Pete encounter various people also beaten down by life. Two war vets, a young woman taking care of her abusive grandfather, a kindly waitress. You sit there rooting for Charlie and Pete to get to Wyoming.

Then comes the gut punch moment in this movie you will never forget. The entire theater I was in gasped. It is truly something you can never unsee. A tear rolled down the side of my face before I even knew what hit me. The scene is jarring.

But the movie moves on. We see a drug addled Steve Zahn allow Charlie to stay with him until he doesnt. Like the rest of the movie, Charlie does what he has to do to survive, some of which is highly illegal. Does he find his aunt? You'll have to see.

Plummer's subtle acting style may bore some people. The movie is understated and realistic in its portrayal of life's losers. Charlie, who still wears his former high school's sweatshirt as a kind of reminder of when he played football and went to a real school and had a somewhat normal life, constantly lets people know of this former life when he wasnt a loser. His quest to get to his Aunt's house is a cry for a return to that normalcy.

Look, Plummer carries this film with help from good solid character actors like Buscemi, Chloe Sevigney and Zahn. It may not be a film you want to see. Its a long journey from that race track to Wyoming. For me, it was worth it.

Three Presidents Walk Into A Funeral!


Well I figure if he can forgive why cant I?

While the technical sitting President of the United States skips a funeral for a former First Lady because he's a horrible human being, a chickenshit, and a fucking narcissist, he sends his abused technical wife to fill in. You see, the POTUS likes golf and satisfies himself first and fuck everybody else. This disease is fully apparent this weekend as the life of Barbara Bush was celebrated and the sitting President takes a powder. Why?

1) He wasnt invited?

Well I doubt that since the Bush family, if nothing else, has a decorum it follows and inviting the President to a family funeral, even if the President is a self absorbed monkey who might throw his own feces would be in that decorum. Oh everyone knows Barbara Bush hated the very existence of the misogynistic racist Son of a Bitch in Chief and would have risen from the dead just to strangle him with her pearls, but decorum.

2) He is scared?

This one could be it but I doubt it. Meeting Jeb!, Hillary, Bill, Barack, might make the Baby In Chief uncomfortable since he cannot stop insulting them like the middle school bully he is. But the one he could be really scared of is Michelle. Michelle could possibly make the Traitpr in Chief cry. That would be grand.

3) He's just a nasty, horrible, rude, crude, vulgar cult leader who would rather play golf than do the right thing.

Everyone knows this is the reason. This greedy prick simply doesnt want to go. He wants to play golf and tweet insults from his fucking golf cart. A funeral for a former First Lady doesnt put him front and center.This is not acceptable to a Buffoon In Chief. Play golf you ugly human waste of space. The place is classed up by your absence anyway. Fuck you.

Now the forgiveness part.

Melania Trump is a person that has been treated like shit by the Debaucher in Chief. The GIFS of her sad face and her rejection of the Swinger in Chief's hand have generated sympathy for her plight in life. Oh poor Melania. I feel so sorry for her.

Well dont say many of us. She's a co conspirator in the Maniac in Chief's coup. Going on news shows and pushing forward Birther bullshit about a real President. Participating in the Fascist in Chief's rallies. Melania, an illegal immigrant at one point herself, participates in the immigrant bashing that the Bigot in Chief continues to blather on about. So no sympathy, right?

Well Barack Obama obviously can forgive by making the woman laugh for maybe the first time in years.

So who am I to continue holding a grudge?

So that picture makes me happy. There, I said it. We can be a caring compassionate human being. Even if her husband is a self centered piece of trash.

Fore!

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Vitter And The Critter!


Only the best people. That's what the Traitor in Chief promised his adoring racists fans during the campaign that he lost by 3 million votes yet somehow is in the White House making an ass of himself and making a shithole out of Reagan's shining light on the hill.

Only the best.

You mean like Wendy Vitter? The attorney apologist for the Archdiocese of Nawlins and the wife of noted diaper and hooker enthusiast, former Senator David Vitter (Baby Huey-La). The Syphilitic Brain in Chief has nominated her to be a federal judge for something called the Eastern District of Louisiana where she can practice her craft for life making sure white supremacy stays valid in Da South. Not only that she can practice her craft for life of keeping women as second class citizens just as her employer, the Catholics, intended. I wonder how many of those second class citizens her hubbie hired to cavort around with in his baby diaper?

Vitter is truly an awful choice to be in any position of power. I wouldnt want this 19th century mind running a souvenir shop down on Canal Street. This backwater barrister has continually pushed the junk science of the pro-life movement, You know, the oldies like women who have abortions all get cancer cuz of Jesus. That Planned Parenthood "killed" 150,000 women every year with their birth control and their pap smears and their selling those baby parts and their abortion referrals and their looking up womens naughty parts. Hey come on, that's her husbands field of expertise.

But the thing that Wendy Vitter did, or didnt do, says it all. Vitter, remember a LIFETIME federal judge nominee, would not say whether Brown vs Board of Education was correctly decided. You know Brown, the case that said yeah you know that Plessy v Ferguson deal, not so good. Separate but equal really doesnt work. So you white people cannot keep the blacks and browns and the Asians and the Indians out of your schools.

Nah, Wendy Vitter has no idea if that decision was right. Which tells me all I need to know about Ms.Vitter. She doesnt think it was correct and probably thinks that whole Civil Rights crap was started then and there. Oh how she and Diaper Boy must long for the days of Whites Only and Coloreds Only signs down there in Baton Rouge. That whole uppity Brown thing was bad for the country. She may as well have said so. How fucking hard would it be to lie thru her praline hole and just say yes like every other racist nominee does?

Vitter is such a terrible choice that an actual diaper wearing baby would be better for all the citizens of the 49th rated state for women's health care. That's out of 50 for you Trumpers.

Mike Pompeo for Secretary of State? Christ on a cracker it wasnt that long ago we were appalled at the head of Exxon being the nominee. You know, Rex Tillerson, the giant conflict of interest who now looks absolutely statesman like? Yep, they keep getting worse.

Pompeo, a nutjob former Congressman from Kansas, who had been CIA chief, is now the Puppet in Chief's choice to be America's Ambassador to the world. Pompeo began his hearing today by acting , unlike his boss, as a tough guy when it comes to our Russian masters. While the Republicans softballed this pudgy spymaster, only Cory Booker (Booker 2020-NJ) called out this conspiracy theory fan on his Muslim bashing and his uncomfortable feelings when he fantasizes thinks about the gays. Why he and Mike Pence were just talking about that the other day when their aides told them to get out of the closet, they had meetings.

Yeah, its this guy the Father of the Year in Chief wants running around the globe pushing American values, which of course do not exist any longer. He was asked that when if Trump is impeached or indicted or committed will he resign like every other rat on this sinking ship is doing? Pompeo said hell no and then brought up the Clinton impeachment which is every Republican's wet dream when backed into a corner.

Oh please, United States Senate, reject this climate change denying, anti-Muslim, homophobic, secret prison loving, government shutdown loving Kansas lamebrain for Secretary of State. Not only will we be even more of a laughingstock, it also puts this idiot up the line for the succession to the Oval Office when this corrupt and putrid Administration starts going to jail.

Vitter and Pompeo. Only the best.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Paul Ryan Douchebag!!


Remember back in 2012 when the human robot Mittens Romney picked the so called wonky economic genius Paul Ryan (Dick-Wi) to be his doomed vice presidential candidate. Hey everyone, the Republican Party is serious this time. No Alaska grifter bamboozling dummies for votes and money this time. We have the Wisconsin Wonder, Paul Ryan.

Then Joe Biden got a hold of this fuckin guy one night in the fall and exposed him for what he is. A punk. A smug Bro gracing Wisconsin lamebrains with his presence. He's like the nitwitted teacher who reads one chapter ahead and then pretends how much more informed he is. Its all bullshit. Paul Ryan is bullshit.

Ryan is the smirking jackoff in high school who walks around with his copy of Atlas Shrugged, wears the button down shirt, the khakis and carries the tiki torch for brain dead groups like InfoWars and The Federalist Society. Yeah, it may be excusable for a teenager, even a college kid, to carry the torch for a philosophy that by the time you hit adulthood will fade into oblivion. To be honest I had my own admiration for screwy organizations like the IRA and The Weathermen in my youth before maturing to the point where as much as I hated Nixon and Margaret Thatcher, I realized that killing people was wrong. But Ryan, the 48 year old juvenile, clings to that selfish Randian view that its me against you and you dont matter. Who does that at that age?

Ryan, who constantly tells you his father died when he was 16 and how this changed him to want to spend more time with his kids ( a sure sign you dont want anything to do with them, right Michael Jordan?). While I even feel sad that Daddy Ryan died while little Paul was still jacking it to The Fountainhead, you do realize that after he died, Paul Ryan gladly accepted Social Security survivor benefits through his college years. You know, the same Social Security that adult Paul dreams about taking away from you. The same Medicare that Paul Ryan (Satan-Wi) , covered by government health care the rest of his miserable life, wants to take away from you. As Biden said, this fuckin guy!

As much as I despise Trump, and would like to dump McConnell into a pile of horse shit at Churchill Downs, Paul Ryan is the worst fucking human being in government. His departure to allegedly spend more time with his damn near college age kids makes me want to stuff a wheel of cheese up his ass. Paul Ryan would take a lollipop from a toddlers mouth. Paul Ryan would take a walker from an old lady while screaming at her to help herself across the street, after paying the toll of course. Paul Ryan would close up an escape room with cement to keep any of them from getting out alive. Paul Ryan would go to a chemotherapy room and laugh at the losers sucking up Medicare money he wants for himself. Paul Ryan would go to a dog shelter and volunteer to euthanize any dog not adopted within 5 minutes to free up the cages for the homeless, who he'd then volunteer to euthanize also. Paul Ryan would tell Social Security & Medicare leech Ayn Rand she's changed and rip her poster off his wall.

Paul Ryan is going back to Wisconsin to count his taxpayer and special interest group money which has made him worth upwards of 7 million dollars, all earned from doing nothing but being in Congress. He will also count his lifetime pension paid for by us. He will also count his soon to come lobbyist salary after he decides his kids are a pain in his ass and only cost him money, the little panhandling urchins.

So from the bottom of my heart. Fuck you you empty eyed soulless vessel of Satan. No really, Fuck you you sociopath soul sucking vampire. No I mean it, Fuck you you self indulgent whimsical prick. From the bottom of my heart.

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Chappaquiddick!!!


It was July of 1969, a Saturday,the Apollo 11 was heading for the moon, I had played in a baseball tournament in some hick town I still hate for various reasons, and my Dad and I were on the way home when the announcement came on the radio. Senator Ted Kennedy had been in a car accident that had resulted in a young woman's death to which my Dad said, well he's through in a tone that said to me wonderful Nixon is going to be re-elected. You see my Dad hated Nixon way before it was mandatory.

Chappaquiddick the movie came out this weekend. The trailers looked awful. It looked to me like some sort of Dinesh D'Souza hit job. It looked like it was made by the fucking Breitbart maniacs. So lets just say I expected to be appalled and maybe angered. Yes, I have a real life bias FOR the Kennedys and I wont apologize for it.

Chappaquiddick stars Jason Clarke (Zero Dark Thirty, Mudbound) as Ted Kennedy. Clarke is an appealing actor from way back when he starred in Chicago Code on TV and plays Kennedy as a confused, sort of dim witted party boy with a real sense of entitlement. Kate Mara plays the ill fated Mary Jo Kopechne as a true believer in the Kennedy agenda, one of the "Boiler Room Girls" who had been set adrift after the death of Bobby the year before. Damn, Kate Mara keeps getting killed by politicians.

One night, Kennedy takes a drive with Mary Jo and drives off the bridge into the water because he was texting (no not really) and Mary Jo drowns. Everybody knows this part.

The rest of the story is this movie. The cover up, the indifference to a young woman's death, the family muscle coming up with a plausible story, the victimization of Teddy, the horror that was Joseph Kennedy's parenting, the police ineptness and eventually the voters who, yes I admit it, much like Trumpers. dismissed this event as meaningless due to the charisma of this family.

The movie is interesting, its ultimately satisfying, but man does it move at a snail's pace. The energy that this movie could have had is not even existent. I mean there are maybe three moments that evoke any sort of energy at all. Kate Mara's Mary Jo gasping for air in the back of the car calling for Teddy to save her while he sits on the bank of the bay figuring out how to proceed, Joan Kennedy's reaction to Teddy thanking her for attending Mary Jo's funeral (its the best line in the movie) and Bruce Dern's Joe Kennedy slapping Teddy and telling him he would never be great. Other than that, its a sleep walking low energy 110 minutes.

The performance are good by people you wouldn't necessarily associate with this kind of movie. Ed Helms is great as the moral compass of a pretty morals lacking band of brothers. His Joe Gargan (a Kennedy cousin) is spot on. Jim Gaffigan as a flunky federal attorney hanger on (nice skivvies Jim) Mister Crabs Clancy Brown as a ruthless Bob McNamara and Taylor Nichols as Ted Sorenson are all good.

So see this movie if you must. It wont make you like Teddy Kennedy much. It will reinforce your negativity if you already hate a dead man. If you admired Teddy as I do, you will go well yeah that was pretty fucked up.

Ultimately the movie is about an event in a tortured man's life that probably should have resulted in his path to irrelevance. It basically did, as the Presidency was the only way he lives up to his family expectations. He of course ran a lackluster 1980 campaign for President in which he never could explain why he wanted to win. He lost. He never ran again and stayed a Senator. The Lion of the Senate to be exact.

I would equate this movie to that 1980 campaign. Yeah it had to be done, but man was it a slow, half assed road to nowhere.

Friday, April 6, 2018

Ta Riff Raff!


Being from the heartland, the breadbasket, Middle America, "real America" gives me a perspective I dont necessarily believe nor want. The agriculture perspective. The perspective that farmers are the saddest most disrespected folks on earth. The salt of the earth. Solid Republicans.

Well with the Fraud in Chief running the show, the sad farmers are about to get defrauded again. Oh it wont change anything in the way they vote but its going to hurt because the Chinese, who understand America a whole lot better than that talking orange pile of shit in the White House.

Trump's proposed trade war with a nation who owns our debt, a nation that relies on slave labor, is a folly unseen in many moons. The Chinese not only know who to hammer, they know why, something the Economic Imbecile in Chief doesnt get. The Chinese know who supports the Talking Sweet Potato in Chief. The aforementioned breadbasket. And they will make the Republican voting Aggies pay by slapping tariffs on soybeans, corn, sorghum, pork and wheat in effect forcing farm communities to really really think about who they vote for in 2018 or 2020 right before they vote for the R guy.

The story of this proposed idiotic 19th century solution to a non problem has many farmers around these parts a bit upset. I saw one express such concern that he actually thought Trump had "behind the scenes" negotiations going on and all would be fine. So of course it wasnt Trumps fault this tariff shit was on the horizon, it was the media's fault for reporting it without telling us all about the secret "negotiations".

So despite Senator Ben Sasse (Fake Intellectual-Ne) calling Trump "half nuts" over this dumbass tariff nonsense (he will just go back to DC and do whatever McConnell tells him to do anyway), Heartland farmers are still solidly in the corner of their Cult Leader in Chief.

Perhaps one of these days these salt of the earth types will abandon the despise the minorities at all costs mentality and realize that a guy from Queens doesnt know shit about anything west of Teaneck and wise up. Wise up and vote for people who are in their corner.

Yeah Yeah Im not holding my breath. After all, a caravan of browns is coming to invade. If they get past the National Guard and make it to the Midwest, well by gawd, the salt of the earth types may have to put down the shotgun and hire them all to work in the fields all the while clamoring for that stupid fucking Wall.

Oh hypocrisy. It's the Midwest way. China gets that real good.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Early Evening April Four!!!



As an 10 year old white kid from the Midwest I never really thought about race or war or cruelty or poverty or discrimination. It didnt affect me much. I just went to my 99% white grade school every morning and then came home. Oh I'd seen racism in action when in 2nd grade some kid in my class stabbed a black kid in the back with a pencil and still to this day remember the kid's tears as he walked by me leaving the school forever. I found it disturbing and didnt understand it but racism? I was 7.

But when April 4, 1968 happened, it changed me forever. The news break that announced the assassination of Dr Martin Luther King made me go what? My father was disturbed but not for the reasons I was. He was concerned about riots. I was just offended by it all. I was offended that a man was murdered for having the gall to demand equality. I was offended because a man was murdered because his skin color was different. I was offended because a man was taken from his children.

I barely remembered the JFK killing. But this one meant something to me. It affected me. Walk in a man's shoes before you judge.

Five years ago we road tripped to Dallas to be at the Texas School Book Depository in the 50th year since Jack Kennedy was murdered. It was something I had to do.

This year we road tripped to Memphis to be at the Lorraine Motel in the 50th year since Dr Martin Luther King Jr was murdered. It was also something I felt I had to do. The Lorraine Motel has become ground zero for what is now known as the National Civil Rights Museum.

Seeing the Lorraine Motel sign, seeing the balcony on which Dr King was killed, seeing the rooming house across the street. It's all there. Once you allow yourself to get the chills out of your system you can enter the museum. The history of a people. a movement, an atrocity, a tragedy, the shame of a nation.

Beginning with slavery, you see it all. The burned out Freedom Riders bus, the slave ships, the bus where Rosa Parks said no (did you know others also said no before Rosa Parks did?), the Panthers, the March on Washington, all of it is here. It is perhaps the most interesting museum I have ever been to.

The tour ends with a chance to see the room in which Dr King stayed. You see the room, the balcony, the rooming house across the street where the shooter lay in wait. They always refer to "the shooter", not the name of that guy who they claimed did the deed. The room is where you can show respect. Dr Kings last place of rest. You think it cant get any more intense.

But it does, The trip across the street to the shooters rooming house. The strange timeline of an escaped convict. The gun. The bathroom where the shooter lay in a bathtub, opened a window and shot a man to death. The window is till open. The view is chilling. Its even worse when you go back across the street and can see the open window.

The night before he was murdered, Dr Martin Luther King gave a speech to striking Memphis sanitation workers. A truly mic drop speech. A speech that in retrospect, you know he knew. He knew he was going to die. You see it in his eyes, you hear it in his voice. That speech makes one get tears in your eyes. See it.

I look at the nation in 2018 and often wonder is it any better. I mean we have a bonafide white supremacist asshole in the White House. We have the alt right and the economically anxious. We have rogue racist cops killing unarmed black men and women without consequences. We have a white population who has freaked out that a black man was elected President and given a majority of its votes to some of the most evil cretins of all time. Is it any better?

So today, on the 50th anniversary of this horrific event, the killing of a great American, please just shut the fuck up about Dr King being a "Republican" or how he would be very conservative or blow that content of their character shit in someone's face. Take a step back for once. Please dont holler the empty headed "All Lives Matter" nonsense at anyone. You really have no idea what you are talking about. Just shut up.

Saying that, I know its not going to happen. I am going to get angry at phony tweets and speeches made by outright racists like our President and Vice President. Empty blathering from Eddie Munster Paul Ryan and others.

50 years was a long time ago. Or was it?

Monday, April 2, 2018

The Big Easy!


There are three things I fear. One is water. I dont like the ocean, the lakes, the bays, the swimming pool. This makes it good I live in a flipping desert. I dont like crowds. Claustrophobia is real to me. It makes me sweat and bolt. Elevators better be fast and empty or I'm in trouble. The third thing I fear is reptiles. Snakes, Gators all that creepy shit I simply dont like.

So where did we go for Spring Break?

New Orleans of course. Home to water,crowds and reptiles. Never been there. Never been in the South other than Texas and thats its own nation anyway.

After detours to Little Rock and Memphis (more on that later) we drove through Mississippi to get to New Orleans. Thrilling y'all.

Entering Louisiana I immediately hit a 20 mile bridge over swamps and lakes and who knows what. It was causing me to freak out and I hadnt even hit Bourbon Street yet. The bridge over hell finally ended and New Orleans appeared. Who Dat! The Superdome, the Smoothie King arena, gigantic above ground cemeteries and what seemed like hundreds of billboards put up by ambulance chasers promising everybody hundreds of thousands of dollars for just getting hurt. Dope.

The hotel booked for the occasion was called the Le Richelieu and was blocks from the French Quarter and had a Paul McCartney Suite for when Sir Paul stayed there in 1975 recording Venus and Mars. That suite was booked. I asked.

The Le Richelieu was old and hidden away on those narrow ass streets they have down there. Christ a mule was walking down the street and even he was going hee haw these streets are narrow.

New Orleans is a walking city. Well at least for me it was. Bourbon Street awaited and we hit it full steam ahead. Strip joints, bars, hole in the wall restaurants, souvenir shops, and drunks. And that smell of piss and alcohol everybody loves. We arent drinkers so it was all food and walking around. A guy froze for money. A guy's dog froze for money. Barkers tried to get me into the Barely Legal Club, Ricks Cabaret Club, Centerfolds.One barker charmingly told me there were "great tits and pretty good food" in there. Well great, at least it wasnt the other way around.

Traveling with a history major can be trying. Every historical marker, every museum, every battlefield, every place where Huey Long may have taken a bribe must be visited. Hmmm, this sounds familiar. Not sure why. I can hear my parents screeching from the grave, ITS YOU ITS YOU WE HAVE OUR REVENGE!!!

Day 2 was a bus ride to the World War II museum. For the love of FDR, if you read everything there was to read in this place you'd spend as much time as it took to crush the Nazis. That is until they rose again in 2016. It is really a fascinating place to visit. Thanks to the incredible provincialism Americans suffer from the museum tour begins at Peal Harbor. The Brits and the French dont exist. Had they started in 1939, I'd still be there hollering about "Jerries" and the "Bosch". Instead it starts with "Japs". And man oh man do you hear that word over and over. You wonder what the substantial number of Asians think when old guys on film constantly say "Japs". Holy Political Correctness. Im off topic already.

Day 3 was the driving day. Out to the swamps for a boat ride. A nice slow tour boat with a roof and a guide. Driving thru the back roads of Looziana to a real life swamp, the Jean Lafitte Park. Nice slow tour boat? Sold out. A fast moving airboat, twice as much money and not sold out. Ouch. But it was a blast.

The airboat, captained by a Cajun character with tons of stories, a passion for protecting alligators and probably a PHD in some subject way over my head, made that boat fly at times and made it slow down at others, usually to see gators swimming around trying to get out of the way. At one point he stopped in a cove, made a comment about gators loving the food he was bringing them much to my chagrin and then pulled out a bag of marshmallows. This caused the gators to swim at the boat like begging dogs. They were rewarded with marshmallows, and we were rewarded with stories and fact about alligators I never knew. They aint gonna eat you folks. They cant swalla y'all so they pose no threat. It was a great 2 hours.

Off to the Battle of New Orleans site. The actual battlefield with a rampart and a large field where people died. It's places like this that give me the creeps. Knowing this is the exact site this happened sets my Geek meter off. Its a national park and its free. For now, till Trump and his goons think they can drill for oil or some other stupid shit.

Off to the Lower 9th Ward. The Lower 9th Ward was devastated by Katrina. It was the place where people were standing on their roofs begging to be saved. The levees broke here the hardest, barges went thru the neighborhood flattening houses and people died. The Lower 9th Ward is maybe 50% back. Nice new house next to a devastated house. The 9th Ward was a life lesson on how good you have it. A reminder that a helluva lot of people dont.

Back to the French Quarter for a trip thru the New Orleans Jazz Museum. Theres not a lot there since its undergoing a lot of work. But seeing Louis Armstrongs trumpet was worth the time.

The French Market is a trip thru a a flea market of junk and food. Thats where the Praline Begneit reared its ugly head and hooked me for life. Damn, the food in New Orleans is the best ever. Real life creole, jambalaya, gator, gumbo, etoufee, red beans and rice, seafood oh my its just wonderful.

But the piece de resistance of the whole trip was that last night of standing in line for 45 minutes to pay $20 to get into the the Temple of Jazz, Preservation Hall. To stand like a can of sardines along the back of the room and witness a 45 minute jazz jam led by the legendary Charlie Gabriel and the Preservation Hall Jazz Band was one of those moments in my life where I can truly say I will never ever forget. If I had a bucket list, and I do, this check mark really counted. It was 45 minutes in heaven.

The next morning we were leaving New Orleans on the way back to Memphis (more on that later) via Vicksburg for more history geek stuff.

Ever drive over a 24 mile long bridge over Lake Pontchartrain? Where you cant see land for what seemed like ever? Where the lake has white caps and you are driving over it? And it goes up and down and when you come down you feel like you are on a roller coaster to hell?

Yep that was my last memory of New Orleans. Water. Claustrophobia. I dont know if there are any reptiles in that Lake, but we did see a freakin pelican coming right for our windshield.

It was glorious.

Sunday, March 4, 2018

The Oscars!


It was last year when Bonnie and Clyde wandered onto the Oscar stage to present Best Picture award. After a substantial portion of the world said "who the hell ARE those old people?" Clyde opened the envelope. thought what the fuck, and showed it to Bonnie who blurted out the words "La La Land" and the rest is one big clusterfuck of the La La Land posse getting onstage, realizing that they didnt win and calling the Moonlight club to get up there cuz they actually won. Wow. What can happen THIS year?

Supporting Actor

1) Willem Dafoe - a lifetime achievement award? He did keep an overrated movie called The Florida Project alive everytime I wanted to kick one of those obnoxious little punks ass.
2) Woody Harrelson- he was the best part of that 3 Billboards hatefest and even he whacked himself halfway through which is what I wanted to do
3) Richard Jenkins- the gay neighbor role in The Shape of Water. He's always great
4) Christopher Plummer- its hard to imagine All The Money In The World without him. If it wasnt Michelle Williams movie, it was his. And he shot it all in 2 weeks
5) Sam Rockwell- I love Sam Rockwell. He's been great for years. But 3 Billboards? The redeemable racist thug cop who throws people out of 2nd story windows? Really? No tghanks

Who Should Win--Christopher Plummer
Who Will Win-- Sam Rockwell

Supporting Actress

1) Mary J Blige-- Mudbound is on Netflix. It's really good. She has no chance.
2) Allison Janney--she's the cartoonish mother ion I Tonya. She's wonderful while she's chewing up the scenery. But she's a cartoon
3) Leslie Manville--The Phantom Thread was a chore to watch. It was necessary to see, but it was a snoozer. Im not even sure which character she was,
4) Laurie Metcalf--Lady Birds mom. Not a cartoon. A real person. A great performance. She's fantastic.
5) Octavia Spencer-- She was in The Shape of Water. Like Richard Jenkins she was glue. She's already got one.

Who Should Win-- Laurie Metcalf
Who Will Win-- Allison Janney

Best Actor

1) Denzel Washington--Denzel is glue. He was great as an autistic lawyer in Roman J Israel Esq. I liked the movie more than most.
2) Daniel Kaluuya--Get Out was freakin great. It was satire at its modern finest. But as time fades, so does Get Out.
3) Daniel Day-Lewis--because he's Daniel Day-Lewis and he's the greatest actor of his generation. The Phantom Thread was a waste of his talents
4) Gary Oldman--he's never won an Oscar? He's hardly ever been nominated? Was he in The Darkest Hour? All I saw was Winston Churchill
5) Timothee Chalamet--Call Me By Your Name was stunning. This kid was in it AND Lady Bird. The 7 minutes of acting he did in the credits of Call Me was Oscar worthy

Who Should Win-- Gary Oldman
Who Will Win-- Gary Oldman
Who Should Get An Oscar within 5 Years- Tim Chalamet

Best Actress

1) Sally Hawkins-- Her goofy face alone acts better than a lot of actresses. Her mute fish fetishist in The Shape of Water was solid as hell
2) Frances McDormand--she doesnt give two shits what you think of her. Her grieving mother in 3 Billboards was the anti-Marge Gunderson. I hated her character. Her range is thus unlimited
3) Margot Robbie--I'll give her credit. She was fantastic. I Tonya was too
4) Saoirse Ronan-- since I first saw her in Atonement, she is my favorite young actress out there. She's the new Streep. Lady Bird is her second masterpiece at age 23. Oh, Brooklyn was the first
5) Meryl Streep--Like Gary Oldman, Meryl becomes her character. Her Katherine Graham made The Post. She shold have 15 Oscars by now, if not 20.

Who Should Win--Saoirse Ronan
Who Will Win-- Frances McDormand
Who Deserves To Win--Meryl Streep

Best Director

1) Christopher Nolan--is anybody better than him. No. Dunkirk is captivating
2) Jordan Peele--Get Out for his first effort is amazing.
3) Greta Gerwig-- Lady Bird is writing at its finest. She ought to win that award.
4) Paul Thomas Anderson--The Phantom Thread is so not him. I should admire it. I apologize I dont
5) Guillermo Del Toro--I am not sure I want to be in this guy's creative mind. The Shape of Water is as good as Pan's Labyrinth.

Who Should Win--Christopher Nolan
Who Will Win--Guillermo Del Toro

Best Picture

1) Call Me By Your Name--35 year old guy having affair with teenager? Hey, thats how it may be see by voters. As unfair as that is, no chance
2) Darkest Hour--its British, its cerebral, its got Winston Churchill, its not going to win
3) Dunkirk--its British, its suspenseful, and it is a classic. Nope
4) Get Out--its satire, its racial, its ending is so ridiculous they actually filmed a realistic ending. It has a punchers chance
5) Lady Bird--good lord I cant rave about this slice of life movie enough. It has a chance if others split the vote
6) Phantom Thread--huh? what? Is it over?
7) The Post--anyone under 40 probably laughed at how newspapers used to be. In fact, what IS a newspaper?
8) The Shape Of Water--Do they have the raisins to give Best Picture to a movie like this? The Sexy Fish movie?
9) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri--Its mean spirited, its dark, it features behavior that is criminal yet goes unpunished and its infuriating. The longer time marches on, the more I hate it

What Should Win--Dunkirk
What Will Win--Lady Bird (for the upset)

Finally please. Hammer that fucking Trump hard. You know he would give it all up to be accepted by Hollywood. Make his world even more miserable before he gets indicted. Please, MORE politics, not less.

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Best 2017 Movies!


Hey its Oscar weekend. Ive seen all the movies finally. For 2017 was a pretty good year for flicks, right? You had disappointments like Beatriz At Dinner, and pleasant surprises like Baby Driver. It had trash like Brawl in Cell Block 99 and fun rides like American Made. 2017 also had perhaps the worst day in my movie going life when I endured the worst movie Ive ever seen, Mother, and two hours later endured the creepy and boring ass It. But it also had great movie going days like Logan Lucky, the best Coen Brothers movie of recent years (I know it wasnt the Coens but it seemed like it was) and then seeing It Comes At Night, a superior "horror" movie to Get Out, in my opinion.

But lets move on. Here are my Top 10 Movies of 2017.

10) John Wick 2

Sequels generally suck. John Wick 2 did not. The choreography in this shoot em up was as well done as the original. John Wick is a great character and a fine franchise. Much like Taken, another pleasant find years ago, this franchise has legs. They may have hit the mark here and if they make a new John Wick movie chances are it will be Taken 3. But lets hope not.

9) I Tonya

Margot Robbie has never impressed me as an actress. Suicide Squad is godawful, she is godawful in it. But as Tonya Harding in I Tonya, she made a believer out of me. The wacky "true" story of the late 80's to mid 90's soap opera involving Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan is really a great study of someone who you cannot help but sympathize with. I know Tonya Harding knew Gillooley and Eckhart were going to kneecap her competition in Massachusetts and did nothing to stop it. I know she'd do it again. But god help me, theres a little part of me that likes Tonya Harding. Sorry.

8) Wonder

Jacob Tremblay is a kid actor that much like Dakota Fanning before him, holds his own with anybody they put in front of him. He plays a young child with a deformed face who is put into middle school with other kids after being home schooled by Julia Roberts, his mother. Let me tell you, if you dont cry more than once during this movie, you are truly heartless. Jacob Tremblay is that good. So is this movie.

7) The Post

Yeah we know the story. Its about Watergate, right? Uhhh no, its about the Pentagon Papers and the decision on whether the Washington Post will publish them, risking jail and destruction. Its also the story of the growth of Katherine Graham as a feminist and as a human. Its a great movie. Meryl Streep is phenomenal. Sorry if thats a cliche' but theres no denying reality.

6) Wind River

Its this years Hell or High Water. Well written, a point of view, and Jeremy Renner. Renner is a cop investigating the murder of a young Indian woman in rural Wyoming. Its twists and turns continue the entire movie and will not disappoint. I also love any movie that employs the great Graham Greene and Gil Birmingham.

5) Detroit

This overlooked Kathryn Bigelow film just kind of faded away as people ran off to superhero movies last summer. Detroit takes place in 1967 Detroit and is about an ill fated police raid on a motel. Its got racism, racism and more racism. But what it really has is the toughest half hour to watch in any movie in 2017 when Detroit cops mock execute various detainees until something goes horribly wrong. This movie slipped thru the cracks. See it.

4)The Shape Of Water

I love Del Toro's movies. Full of color and fantasy and so utterly like nothing you're ever seen before. The Shape of Water, about a mute clean up lady played by Sally Hawkins at a top secret government facility back in Cold War America and a sea creature being tortured by an evil Michael Shannon that form a relationship. Despite the sex with a fish scenes, this colorful fairy tale hooked me from the start. Let it reel you in too.

3) Call Me By Your Name

There are times I feel this movie may be my favorite. The story of a older grad student having a summertime romance with the young son of his mentor is often so real its scary.Yeah I know Armie Hammer looks 35 and Timothy Challomet looks 12 but get past it because the story is both joyful and inevitably heartbreaking. Ive seen this movie twice, which generally means it made me feel something. Like I said, joy AND heartbreak. The soundtrack is also great. The last 10 minutes with Michael Stulberg and Timothy Challomet ARE the best 10 minutes of film of the year.

2) Lady Bird

I walked out of the theater at my advanced age and felt like a teenager again. The writing ,by director Greta Gerwig, was so spot on there isnt a human being, male or female, who couldnt identify with at least some of this movie. And if you are of an advanced age, and a parent, you can see this fantastic movie from both sides. Saoirse Ronan is going to win Oscars galore in her career. Dont tell me she was better in Brooklyn as a sort of criticism of Lady Bird because she is great in everything she does. Laurie Metcalf will probably not win an Oscar for this movie but she deserves it for playing Lady Bird's mom. Lady Bird is brilliant. Period.

1) Dunkirk

Christopher Nolan's masterpiece, well one of his masterpieces, is Dunkirk. Starting with the fleeing to the French beach and ending with the British army being taken home by fishing boats and trawlers, Dunkirk tells the story from 3 different timelines. It may confuse you as it did me, but once you get the hang of it its thrilling. You know how it ends, yet you still sit on the edge of your seat as nameless faceless German planes attack relentlessly. Its arguable about how great it is in comparison to The Darkest Hour, which is much more cerebral, but nobody captures tension like Nolan. Bravo!

Now about one more movie. I know its not great. I know its ear candy. I know its bullshit as history but The Greatest Showman was the one movie all year I sat in and had 90 minutes of fun. The multi talented Hugh Jackman and the multi talented Michelle Williams sing and dance their way across the screen as PT Barnum and wife and its a freakin joy. Catchy tunes, underdog themes and an Oscar worthy original song. Loved it.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Let Your AR-15 Get You Out Of This!


There are so many thing about this guy that scream weasel that Im surprised the good voters of Missouri didnt elect Eric Greitens with about 90% of the vote.

Yeah, Eric Greitens, future GOP nominee for POTUS, is a 100 proof creep. An ex Navy Seal who campaigned in Missouri by shooting an AR 15, shooting a machine gun at the "Democratic agenda" ,Greitens benefited from millions in so called "dark money" to win the Governorship of Missouri. Nice choice Jed Clampett.

Greitens used a list of donors to a veterans group to solicit dollars and votes which by the way is highly illegal and just plain weaselly. Greitens is also a fine family man, a Bronze Star winner, hangs with Mike Pence and of course, is a complete weasel.

Back in 2015, Governor Greitens (Weasel-Mo) was carrying on an affair with a married lady. Greitens, the fine family man and ex-Navy Seal, wasnt into straight sex, oh no, he's a tough guy macho asshole who likes to tie chicks up and make em do pull ups, ya know, like any guy who shoots a machine gun in a commercial. Greitens tied his naked paramour up, blindfolded her and then took a picture of her. Oops, the woman must have thought, this is kind of weird, even for my weaselly boyfriend. Greitens the man, the cocky tough guy, then went the extra step to guarantee this side piece would never talk. He threatened her, like any guy who shoots guns in a campaign ad would do. You talk, and I release this picture.

Eric Greitens (Felon to Be-Mo) was indicted by a St Louis grand jury last week, perp walked to jail, god I cant help laugh, handcuffed, oh this is so precious, and charged with "felony invasion of privacy". This is so great.

Greitens isn't in trouble for blackmail, which he should be, he's not in trouble because he's a phony little prick with a gun, he's not in trouble because he's a guy who uses the Navy Seals to advance his own career (Seals are the bomb by the way and this guy is a disgrace to the rest of them), he's not in trouble for cheating on his wife "years ago" way back in 2015, he's not in trouble because he is a mug motherfucker. Nope he;s iun trouble because he's a dumbshit. He sent the pictures to his weaselly buddies. Again, he sent the pictures to other people.

This 42 year old jackoff is really a 16 year old boy bragging about his conquests. Goddammit, Missouri, what the fuck were you thinking? Oh yeah, he had a R after his name.

Greitens (Schlemiel-Mo) is now in full Trump mode. Pleading with his base by blaming "reckless liberal prosecutors", hollering about "George Soros" and the "liberal media" ya know all the good old excuses for conservatives being just plain bad people.

Greitens (Cocky Fuck-Mo) may be one of these assholes who dont get away with it. Missouri Republicans seem to be ready to bail on this weaselly prick. Expect this guy to resign soon.

Which means only one thing, In less than 5 years, the base will forget, blame the libtards, and elect this creep to some other office. Well that, or a prime speaking time at CPAC.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Crazy People Action Committee!


It's the annual gathering of neo-fascists, dummies and closet cases in DC this week when CPAC holds their annual screechfest. In the past we might get the sight of El Rushbo dressed like and Eastern European mobster hopping up and down as nerdboys ejaculated red white and blue all over each other.

But this year, in the wake of another NRA sponsored slaughter of young people, CPAC is just another swarm of soulless miscreants bent on worshiping their cult leader and calling dead and wounded students snowflakes.

Forget about the day that domestic terrorist Wayne LaPierre ranted and raved about gun issues like the EPA and socialism. Forget about human praying mantis Dana Loesch telling the fawning geeks that CNN loves mass murder and treasures crying white mothers. Both these inhuman heartless nutjobs deserve scorn and shame. Yes I know they have none.

Friday featured the appearance of Cult Leader In Chief Donald F Trump. The Kool Aid Advocate in Chief played with his hair, carried on like the drunk at the end of the bar about arming your history teacher, building walls, how clean coal gets all polished with Dawn or something, MS13, the national anthem, the Pledge of Allegiance, his jacking off to the 2nd Amendment, DACA, letting the dead carcass of Billy Graham lay in state, his greatness and then the coup de grace, got these creeps to boo John McCain because ya know he prefers guys who dont get captured or dont get brain cancer. And yes he got the gaggle of limp dicks to chant Lock Her Up the same day Trumps flipper, Paul Manafort, is facing a life sentence in jail (he's 70 years old folks)if he doesnt flip on the Combover In Chief.

CPAC is usually the annual gathering of the biggest nuts in American society but with the Human Slime in Chief the nuts have become screwballs and loudmouthed maniacs.

Today we had speakers call former RNC chairman Michael Steele a token black guy, another speaker got the crowd to boo immigrants pretty much showing what these white supremacists think America is, and booed conservative speaker Mona Charen who called out Marie La Pens anti-semiticism showing these fucksticks are looking for their own Beer Hall Putsch, most likely when they all gather at the local all men tavern.

But finally, to be provincial, Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts (Trust Fund Baby-Ne) spoke today and hollered for off duty cops to be patrolling schools. Ricketts also glad handed the NRA to hold their annual Domestic Terrorism Convention in Nebraska because we all hunt and love guns and constitutional rights here in the heartland. Ricketts is of course full of shit and couldnt do a fucking thing without buying it himself. Ricketts also opposes background checks at gun shows as it interferes with "privacy". He wants to end Title IX so he can end abortion while at the same time paid a million dollars of his Daddy's to reconstitute the death penalty in this state. Ricketts is truly as bad a Governor as exists in this nation now that Brownback is gone from Kansas.

This whole CPAC screechfest was entertaining as a kind of mental case gathering of berserk whackjobs. But now that this nation shot itself right in the noggin in 2016, its a Nuremberg Rally for American Nazis. They arent even hiding it any longer.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Not Again!


Yeah its all you kids fault for not being meddling enough. Trump the moral leper took time off from watching Fox News and its moral creeps to tweet out a blame game tweet blaming the kids for not ratting out a troubled teen. For chrissakes, if every troubled teen was turned in to the cops, well there'd still be full high schools cuz the cops wouldnt do a damn thing once they found out the troubled teen was white.

Fuck all you complicit Congressional cowards who see this mass murder of America's children on a weekly basis and do nothing except shout out your worthless thoughts and prayers while at the same time counting your NRA blood money. Mitch McConnell is a moral midget who deserves whatever hell brings him and Paul Ryan, a cold hearted inhuman monster who not only conspires with the NRA to slaughter America's young but cannot wait to starve the elderly into an early grave also deserves the worst the Earth can bring to him.

If this constant destruction of innocent children by limp dicked losers who are allowed easy access to assault rifles by the likes of Trump and his puppet masters in both Russia and Congress doesnt bother you, no infuriate you, you belong in a cage like the animal you are.

Trump and his handlers are bad enough when they are cutting health care or giving money to their rich sociopathic donors or cutting food stamps while putting together a Russian type military parade or looting the United States Treasury or beating women or lying on a daily basis or paying off porn stars or threatening nuclear war on a pissant nation or groping his own daughter or calling people juvenile names or repealing everything the black president did, BUT TO REPEAL OBAMA ERA LAWS THAT MADE IT HARDER FOR THE NIKOLAS CRUZ'S OF THE WORLD, THE MENTALLY ILL, TO OBTAIN FUCKING ASSAULT RIFLES IS A SIN. Its a sin against humanity and Im not talking about the bullshit religious idea of sin, but the basic sin of being a cold blooded prick with no shame and no concern for anyone but yourself.

I am still beside myself over this lack of basic decency shown by Congressional whores who value NRA money over lives of children. And they do, oh they do. These cowards are the worst of this society. The absolute slags of America. These clowns you vote for are desrving of nothing but your scorn and ridicule. Respect is earned and these untouchables deserve none.

Next Town Hall, show them what you have. Compassion for kids, and absolute disgust for them. They deserve nothing more.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Full Speed Backwards!


This is the story of Nebraska Trump. A man so childish and arrogant they he thinks that when things dont go his way, he can throw a money tantrum and buy his way back to being his way. Hey, it works. So why shouldn't our Trump, Governor Pete Ricketts, Governor Death Penalty, get his way even when it comes to appointing Admiralships in the Nebraska Navy. Yeah, The Nebraska Navy. A totally mythical organization that allows a Governor to hand out funny little certificates to various people and everyone has a good laugh. Hell, its not that hard to become an Admiral in the Nebraska Navy. All you need is to have one of its citizens, like me, to send in your name for nomination, and voila, you soon have a fake title like Worlds Greatest Chef or Worlds Best Mom and can hang it on your wall. But lets get back to the start of this story all about Nebraska Trump.

Back in the fall, empowered by something, I'm not sure what, a college sophomore set up a table on the University of Nebraska campus for Turning Point USA (throw that USA in there of course), an organization the rats on college professors they feel are too liberal, you know like professors that oppose white nationalists. But I'm again getting ahead of myself.

This college sophomore, a young woman from Colorado, set up this booth to get people to sign on and "monitor" the University professors to make sure they dont teach anything bad to impressionable young people. You know, like the earth is round or there was actually slavery at one time in this nation's history, or god forbid, that Donald Trump is an uncouth loud traitor. A demonstration began involving people who think this young woman may have been in line with the Charlottesville gang of punks very fine people who killed a woman by running her over with a car. Words got exchanged. One grad student got a bit honest carried away and screamed at the young snowflake and called her a "neo-fascist". This caused the young sophomore to cry. Another demonstrator, an actual professor holding a "Turning Point: Put Me On Your Watchlist" was caught on video comforting this poor little sensitive conservative. Then it all ended.

This incident caused 3 state senators to throw a shitfit that their point of view was being stifled by libtards people on the UNL faculty. That's when the Governor, Pete Trump Ricketts stepped in also to begin threatening the university budget, as long as it didnt affect the 4-8 football team of course. Ricketts, who got every bit of his fortune from his Daddy, started to open his wallet which scares the shit out of any Nebraskan who doesnt want to be ruled by an autocratic trust fund baby.

The grad student, also a lecturer, was asked not to return to campus. The Professor went on with her year, knowing there was some squealing snitch someplace monitoring her every move.

This is where the Nebraska Navy comes in. A Nebraska gadfly nominated both the Professor and the grad student for Admiralships and as 99.9% of the nominations, they were both granted by Governor Trump Ricketts. Certificates were sent out and that was that. Or so any normal human being would think. It's like buying a "Golfer of The Year" certificate at a gift shop. Its a fucking joke. Oh but its not a joke for Governor Pete Ricketts, the Nebraska Trump who never lets a slight go unpunished.

For example, the Nebraska Legislature, attempting to keep under control Governor Brownback Ricketts humongous budget deficit, repealed the death penalty in the state. Ricketts, who ran for the job just so he could someday kill someone, threw a tantrum after his veto was overridden. He opened his wallet and spent almost a million dollars of his Daddy's money to start a petition drive to get the issue on the ballot where he knew "pro-life" Nebraskans would reinstate the archaic, expensive practice so they could kill execute some Mexicans and blacks. They did, of course cuz we are a "Pro-Life" state as Ricketts says about 50 times a week no matter what he's yammering about.

Example 2, when the legislature gets a bit uppity and doesnt go along with what Ricketts wants, he simply spends his own money to get his puppets elected. And it fucking works, because in this state we vote for whoever's name youve heard the most in TV ads. And Daddy Ricketts has a lot of money to buy TV ads to elect his son's sheeple to a job that pays $22K a year.

Back to the Nebraska Navy. Once Governor Trump was informed, probably by one of his snitches, that he had granted the "honor" to these two women, he immediately sent letters to them demanding the certificates be returned as they were granted due to "clerical error". Huh?

Admiralships in the Nebraska Navy have been given to murderous dictators, scam artists, religious phonies, tax cheats, women abusers, and even my liberal father. Yet not once has one of them been revoked. Not one. Until now. Because a couple of strong women made a little conservative dotard student cry Ricketts wants them to return the certificates.

As you can see from the above picture, one of the "honorees" aint giving it up, The only problem is that Ricketts, like Trump, has a goon squad of bodyguards and a gang of Trumpanzees willing to do anything to enforce his will. So we shall see what happens if Governor Trump Rickets, a talking hard boiled egg per John Oliver, decides to push it.

Oh and a PS. The University of Nebraska has a full fledged self aggrandizing Nazi on its campus. This, however, is a matter of freedom of speech and University officials, in fear for their funding, can do nothing to eradicate the white nationalist scum from its campus. Yell at a conservative cream puff and you are asked to leave campus. Espouse Nazi ideology on You Tube, participate in white nationalist rallies in Charlottesville, and its all a matter of free speech.

This is Pete Ricketts' Nebraska. His own little fiefdom, his own little plutocracy where you do what he wants, or he'll buy his wants.

He's running for re-election folks. And he will probably win because he has unlimited money to influence the western part of this state with his TV ads.

I feel like Nebraska is going the way of Kansas. Run into the ground, or rather run straight into an iceberg by a man in a little dictator suit.

Where the hell is an Admiral when you need one?

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Tuesday And I'm Thinkin Again!


My father spent 45 years in the stock game. From stock broker to account executive to financial planner he always said all those titles were bullshit. I'm a salesman he'd proclaim, almost proudly. The other two things my old man said in his 45 years pushing stocks on a daily basis was "stock market goes up, stock market goes down" and of course, "I was just about to call you" whenever one of his panicky investors would call and interrupt his newspaper reading.

The stock market plunged the last two days after Wall Street realized we have a goddamned maniac running the country. Just a warning. To those of us versed in history, we know, that when Republicans get control and cut taxes to the rich and run up the debt what inevitably happens is 1929, 1987, 2007 and perhaps 2018. The fucking market crashes bigley and regular people suffer. My 401K lost 40% in 2007-2008 thanks to the permanent tax cuts passed by the Cheney Administration and I havent really recovered. Others can say the same thing.

Beware, America. The third thing my Dad said was "Democrats are good for the market, Republicans are bad for the market". The stats prove him correct. Abortion dont mean jack on Wall Street. Unless they are aborting your investments. Vote accordingly.

The Blabberer in Chief went off to some manufacturing plant in Ohio to get his huge ego and tiny hands a workout. Speaking in front of some of the blindest and most brainwashed cultists, oh lets face it, white racists, the "Billionaire" in Chief told these idiots what they wanted to hear, Gus Greatest Hits tour. He's not "braggadocio" , he loves workers (and the poorly educated), no black radicals football players kneeled at the Super Bowl for which he took credit, how one side of the aisle went crazy at his SOTU speech while the other side sat on their hands which is "Un American" and when some poorly educated idiot loudmouth worker hollered "treasonous" the Fascist in Chief shrugged and said "why not?".

I'll tell ya why not, Felon to Be in Chief.

No I wont. What I will say is the imbecile who yelled that at the rally should move to fucking North Korea if he wants to worship a Dear Leader. Cultists like the cretin who hollered "treasonous" about someone who thinks the Lazy Asshole in Chief can say nothing that should not be worshiped and written in a tiny tiny book even Trump's tiny hands can get a grip on should get it over with and drink the cyanide that inevitably will come to his lips.

Tom Brady threw for over 500 yards in the Super Bowl. He was virtually unstoppable. The only problem was Nick Foles was better. So to tell me Brady is done is asinine. Congratulations to The Eagles. Max was ecstatic.

Then white Philadelphians took to the streets to act like assholes. Smashing windows and overturning cop cars. All in good fun, right? Imagine had the vast majority of the revelers been black. Think about it. Be honest. What would have happened? You know the answer.

Finally, reality hit us all in the face on Monday when Max's Mom's Mom passed away in her sleep. Sally had a tough life, indeed. She survived aneurysms and cancer and heart attacks before her body and spirit just wore out. Though not without her flaws, as we all have, Sally was one tough broad. She suffered no fools and took no shit the last few years of her life. Sally became my pseudo Mom after my Mom, another tough broad (sorry Mom), passed away. So long Sal Gal. You were one of a kind!

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Super Bowl Thoughts!!


1)Look, I dont hate the Patriots like some people. I am a Bears fan. The Patriots mean nothing to me. So if they win the game today, ehhh, big deal, bring on the death of Jack!

Eagles fans are the worst. I get that. Drunken hooligans that would give the Brits a run for their quid. Im sure Patriots fans are Boston lunkheads who arent all that wicked smahht either.

But Ive been to Philly and where these lowlifes you see throwing full beer cans at a team bus and at Vikings fans as they simply try and get to the stadium live I have no idea. The Philly people I encountered were perfectly nice folks and was so pleasantly surprised I want to go back someday. So for this game I say Fly Eagles Fly. Besides, Max is a huge Eagles fan (why I have no idea) and he needs the win.

2) The Memo. This has Donald Trump Junior, future felon and current leech, all in a lather. Junior, whose main job seems to be tweeting every 5 minutes whatever talking point some Trump goon feeds him, cant stop hollering "Squirrel" to the millions of Dougs out there that follow Trump almost as closely as they follow their own tails. Junior misrepresents the bullshit in the memo so much its almost believable that this pinheaded waste of sperm actually doesnt have the brainpower to see what he's doing. The day that this birdbrain is indicted will be a great day for America, not to mention a great day for his treasonous father who will gladly throw his kid into traffic to save his own ass.

3) Speaking of football. Vince McMahon, a Trump in his own way, a con man and liar and a bully, has announced plans to bring back the XFL. You remember the XFL, a short lived football league attended by dozens, with a national TV contract and stocked with marginally talented players tghat existed in the early 2000's. The XFL, as football league where instead of kick offs, two players sprinted from each end zone to be the first to grab the football on the 50 which actually wasnt a bad idea.

But Vince's new XFL will be a football league fit for 2018. No "criminals" allowed, no kneeling for the anthem, and I assume helmet to helmet cracking encouraged to satisfy the Knotheads who will make up the "crowd". In other words, this will be a football league for whites and quisling blacks. That's it. This "league" is nothing more than another excuse for McMahon and Trumpers to make America white again. Here's to another huge failure.

4) I did not watch one second of the State of the Union screed. I wanted to avoid buying a new TV which would have been destroyed had I seen more than one standing O for the Orange Slime in Chief. The thought of seeing from left to right on my screen, a horse molester, an Orange Traitor, and an empty vessel of Satan smugly looking on as a lying Fascist carried on would have been too much. So we watched the Marvelous Mrs Maisel on Amazon Prime. Fuck, that made me enjoy the best SOTU night ever. Rachel Brosnahan is one great shikse. Mekhaye!

Fly Eagles Fly!

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Whole Lotta Dumb!


The only thing that could make this dumber is if Trump called in. Or if Gronk showed up.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Shutdown!


I see some old man taking a tour of the White House got to sit at the big boy desk and get his picture taken with his fake phone call....oh wait, thats an actual picture released by the White House allegedly showing the Coot in Chief "working"? This IS the funniest White House ever, well anyway 2nd funniest next to that zany Nixon White House.

This government shutdown, 100% the fault of an evil triumvirate of The Racist in Chief, a shitheel named McConnell, and a punk named Ryan, goes on and on because one Stephen Miller, the white supremacist in Trump's ear, insists it go on. This appeal to the white ignorance that makes up Trump's base has no consequences for a Nazi prick like Miller how will go to the mat to show his perceived superiority to browns, women, blacks, furriners, and decent humanity.

The end of the shutdown, the #TrumpShutdown, has been held up over two things. The Democrats insist on a solution to the DACA problem, the settling of the issue in which people brought to the USA as children and know nothing else but to be American, be allowed to stay. The Republicans, led by human garbage like Miller, insist on a fucking Wall to keep Mexicans Hispanics, people from shithole countries brown people illegal aliens out. That and immigration reform which only allows white people in, and then only white people with 99% and higher Northern European DNA tests.

This total shutdown is, unlike 2013, a total shutdown. The Republicans, who have morphed into a white nationalist party over the last year 50 years, will do anything to keep The Fool In Chief in office to do their dirty work, which is pure malevolence and hateful. Turn back the clock to re establish complete white heterosexual male dominance by taking away rights from the chicks, the gays, the blacks, the browns, the Native Americans, oh sorry they have never been given anything, just taken from.

People like Mitch McConnell (Drawling Turtle-Ky) and Paul Ryan (Randian Punk-Wi) lie with such lack of effort, its not only nauseating but almost admirable. They talk of funding CHIP which they could have done 3 months ago and accuse the Democrats of hating children, They accuse the Democrats of holding the military hostage. They accuse the Democrats of everything THEY are doing, knowing a substantial portion of American morons will buy it.

Yet when Claire McCaskill (D-Missouri cities) offers up a chance to fund CHIP and pay the military by unanimous consent one Kentucky Kreep objects. This same Kentucky loggerhead, a known cheat, offers to put DACA up for a vote within 3 months, which anyone not a rube knows is a fucking lie.

So it goes on. The Clueless Debaucher in Chief continues to lumber along like a Frankenstein's monster, all 280 239 lbs of him, paying off porn stars, neglecting his son and escort wife, playing golf, sending out an unscrupulous hillbilly to lie for him, catering to a white nationalist and threatening nuclear war with a Korean version of himself.

Marching on Saturday is getting old. It's like being in your own bubble. It has accomplished nothing except catharsis. But it still needs to be done to energize us. 2018 can be ugly for the White Nationalist Party. But only if we make it that way by going to the polls.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Tapper-Miller!



This "Interview' with a talking toadstool named Stephen Miller lasted over 12 minutes yet all you need to see is the last 30 seconds. Miller spent 12 minutes with Trumps dick in his mouth calling him a "genius", attacking CNN, and generally doing exactly as Tapper said, trying to please one viewer.

To those who criticize CNN or MSNBC or whoever for bring these grunting toads on are missing the point. We dont watch Fox or Fox and Friends where these ass kissing soulless creeps live and breathe, being asked questions they already have seen. We watch other networks that sane people watch. To see these liars in action is essential. They are in power and refusing to admit that is suicide. We must see them and see their idiotic spewing of Trump vomit, Nazi bile and racist dog whistles, We have to. Or we dont get angry and we dont vote.

I applaud CNN and Jake Tapper for doing this interview. This tiny con artist must be seen. It pissed me off. Im ready to get rid of these totalitarian traitors NOW. NOW!

Just remember who this miniature blockhead really is. He is a man who leaped onto a track during a high school girls track meet and outran the girls to the finish in some sort of weird attempt to prove his superiority over women or something.

This is also the itsy bitsy "man" who was thrown off a high school stage for yelling that he shouldn't have to pick up his own trash because there are plenty of janitors paid to so that for him.

Keep him out front CNN.

He is, after all, one of the most revolting human beings on the planet.

One more thing. More kudos to Jake Tapper for coming back after the break with "Welcome Back to Planet Earth".

Monday, January 1, 2018

2018!


OK America this has to be THE year to rid this nation of the filth that runs it.

Ready Set Go!