Sunday, July 29, 2012

Left Limeys!

I saw it and I cheered. Way to go, Britain. Driving the wingnuts crazy in the US and getting your Nazi loving conservatives to tweet about "leftie" opening ceremonies being more commie than Beijing. Yeah!

But seriously,come on, Brits. you know the United States has the greatest health care system in the world that needs to be fixed. Ask any Republican with a fucking job and health insurance. They'll tell you. If you aint got insurance it aint America's fault. It's your fault for being a lazy bum. The NHS is a commie socialist Obama-ism like he wants to bring here. You know, like insuring all those poor people and those middle class losers who gripe and complain when their employer says yeah uhhhh we need more cash to sit on so you have to give up being all healthy and all that other faggy environmental pansy ass junk. Real Americans get sick and die and like it. Real Americans like to get diabetes and fat and heart attacks and cancer and if Michele Obama wants us to be all veggie and skinny well then it must be some sort of Black Panther control deal.

Yeah English pig dogs, we are # 1 in everything! Damn your pinko statistics and anything else that shows us as #23 or #38 or #41 or # anything other than #1 cuz we are the United States of America! Mittens Romney is going to restore our glory with his tax cuts and Hoover like policies like back in the good old days when all those minorities and lezbos knew their place. U S A U S A!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Lord Taketh Away...!

RIP Jon Lord. The keyboardist for Deep Purple, one of my 5 favorite rock bands of all time, passed away at the age of 71.

Jon was a musical genius in a band that has never been let in to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame because Ritchie Blackmore is such a dick or something. But Jon Lord, with his blasting organ, made that band every bit as much as Blackmore did or Ian Gillan did, who's not a dick by the way.

Jon was classically trained, a brilliant musician and seeing him with Deep Purple wayyyyyyyyy back in 1973 in my first concert was such a great memory even now.

RIP, Jon. Getting into rock n roll heaven will not be a problem.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Ayyyyyyyye! Paulie!!!!

Wow, and I thought Chris Christie was a loud, obnoxious fuck. This is Maine Governor Paul "Sounds Suspiciously French To Me" LePage. The Jesse Ventura of New England. The winner back in 2010 of the Maine Governor's race because 61% of the normal thinking Maine-eans voted to send this Le Thug back to the corner sidewalk bistro from whence he came. Unfortunately, Maine became Italy for 2010 and Teebag LeTeabag won a 5 person gubernatorial race by picking up the cranky old white people vote and landslided himself to 38% and a seat in that there Governor's chair. Nice going, Maine-ers. If you weren't up in the bald spot of America, this guy would be the laughingstock of the normal thinking nation and unfortunately, the Jan Brewer of the Northeast without the bony finger to the cranky old white sausage fingers of the wingnut nation. Pfew! I felt a bit like the Nitwit of the North there not taking a breath.

Paul LePage. Governor of Maine. What does Governor LeChristie have to say about a variety of things? Well let's geaux.

Governor Paulie first took down a labor inspired mural in the state capitol because "This building is not a organized labor building. End of story!"

No it's the state capitol there, Paulie, and a lot of organized labor citizens helped pay for it.

Another LeNitwit-ism--- "If you take a plastic bottle and put it in the microwave and you heat it up, it gives off a chemical similar to estrogen. So the worst case is some women may have little beards".

That is so out of whack I am just le flabbergasted. He's been watching too much Fox and Friends again.

What does LeKlan think of NAACP and Martin Luther King? "Tell them to kiss my butt"

Wow, Paulie. that'll teach those noires a thing or two. Yeah no more than two I'm sure.

Guv Le Ventura Jr. on whether creationism (haha I cant stop giggling whenever I hear that term) should be taught in Maine schools? "I would say intelligence, uh, the more education you have the more knowledge you have the better person you are and I believe yes and yes."

Yes, we have Wasilla Quitta on the west and Caribou Paulie in the east. Good bookends America.

Governor LeEmployed on the unemployed---"Maine’s welfare program is cannibalizing the rest of state government. I am compassionate and committed to our children, our elderly, and our disabled. But to all you able-bodied people out there, get off the couch and get yourself a job."

Great advice, numbnuts. Aren't there like 4 people applying for every 1 job or something? I swear I can see LePenguin twirling his umbrella as he spouts off.

The most famous gem out of Lepage's piehole? To the President of the United States, a guy who got 52% of the vote not 38%. --- "...go to hell".

Well at least he didn't throw in a "kiss my butt" quip also. The entire Maine legislature could kiss this dipshit's butt at once.

Finally this week, after the Supremes upheld the Affordable Care Act, also know as the Marxist Socialist Nazi Feudalism Death Panel Act, LePager yapped about the IRS and called them "the new Gestapo". To be fair, He later apologized with a heartfelt address in which he stated "the IRS is not the Gestapo...yet"

Ohhhhhhhh! Paulie. You just can't help it, can you? That's kind of like apologizing for using the word "Gestapo" and saying you meant to say "the SS".

Paul Le Page. Embarrassment to Maine. But that's ok, Maine-guys. Lots of us have embarrassing Governors since 2010's old white people temper tantrum. Let's just hope somebody has the guts to grab the screaming kid and throw him into his room in 2012.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

They Aren't Saying Boo, They Are Saying Screw You!

Mittens Romney, after leaving his Hampton's fundraiser among his people, left to speak to the National Association For The Advancement of Mud People today and he got booed much to the delight of his campaign staff. How else to appeal to that white Christian voter than by showing all them lazy, rude coloreds being mean to that poor Mittens. He just wants to help them by repealing healthcare, getting rid of race based scholarships, refusing student loans, and giving them jobs cleaning out Rafalca's stable. That Mittens is down with the brothers..............

For godsakes, what do those ungrateful negroes want? They got to come to the greatest country on earth free of charge, they all got jobs immediately, and then those Northern commies came down and laid them all off. Why are they mad at Mitt? He just wants to help them. You see, they are so stupid they don't understand that by giving Diddy and Jay Z a giant tax break they will make it rain in every airport fly over zoned neighborhood in America. Stupid Coloreds!

They booed Mittens! Booed him. My goodness, after Mitt saved the day by responding to the boos with a well timed Chamber of Commerce drop, they still weren't happy. What is it with those people? The Chamber of Commerce!! How much more down can one get?

Mittens. Poor Mittens. With all that stress on whether his horsie, Rafalca, will win an Olympic medal and all that shit he must have taken from those Hampton snobs, all he needed was that rude reception from the cursed. Why Mormons have acknowledged that the negroes have existed since 1978, when BYU decided they'd better get more "athletic" or continue losing to Weber State. What more do they need from Mittens? Hey wait, it's Bill O'Reilly on the phone, yep Bill, it wasn't booing, the blacks, though well dressed, were demanding more iced tea, motherfucker!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Mitt's Shit!

I cannot believe this stuttering soulless Mormon son of a bitch is even still around but he is. And he seems to be gaining. WTF???

There is no plausible reason this snobby prick is even close in the polls to anybody. But he is. What could possibly be the reason? This principle challenged shark is a complete liar. If he truly believes in all that Planet Kolob shit and the whole Mormon 9 yards, where lying is not permitted, and honor and charity are demanded, why is this hypocrite still popular? Why would some evangelical christian from Alabama ever vote for this liar? Why would any insider on Wall Street ever vote for this Mormon bishop? Why would any older person, already struggling, vote for this jackoff who would cut their throat without guilt for another dime of profit? Why? Well let's hope the lies of Mittens Romney catch up with him.

When Willard Romney talks, he lies. When he says President Obama has raised taxes, he's lying. When he says the President has increased spending "without precedent" he's lying. When Romney claims the President has cost the economy jobs, he's not only lying, he's fucking lying. When Romney makes shit up about "Obamacare", which he does on a daily basis, he's lying. When Romney claims that Dow Chemical refused to build a plant in Oklahoma because of "regulations", he's lying his ass off. When Mittens bellows that "Obamacare will cost 20 million people their insurance" it is so unbelievable that only the most adamant of the dumb who watch Fox would buy into that. When Willard the Liar says he cut government spending in Massachusetts he is lying. When Mitt the Witless says that "Obamacare" will cut $500 billion zillion quatrillion from Medicare, he is full of shit. When Romney says Obama didn't mention the debt or deficit once in the State of The Union, he's either deaf or fucking lying again.

Anyway you get the idea. Mitt Romney is a sociopathic liar. Hey folks, all this stuff is not that difficult to look up. I did it in seconds. The only reason you believe the Romney bullshit is if you want to believe it. And we know there's a lot of dishonest people who want to hop on the Romney garbage truck. The big question is why. Here's a moderate Republican from the Northeast who has changed his mind on so many issues it brings his integrity into question at the very least. He's a Mormon. He's a draft dodger who spent his Mormon mission in a French castle trying to convince the French to stop drinking wine. He failed miserably by the way. He's a man who claimed to be more pro life than Ted Kennedy. He started an individual mandate for buying health insurance for chrissakes!!! What is about this blue blooded bastard that appeals to anyone? Hmmmm....

Thursday, July 5, 2012

I Believe That Turkeys Can Fly!

I was just thinking about what kind of crazy shit you have to believe to be a Republican nowadays. Oh some of them are still just old school greedheads who want to die with all the money, others are still old school paranoid freaks who see commies under the posture pedic bed and yet others are just old school Romneys who just assume they are better bred than you and really don't want to hang with you because you are DNA challenged and probably eat your ranch covered salad and your deep fried whatever with the same fork. Positively beastly!

1) You have to believe that Obama's mom knew that her Kenyan fetus would become President someday and thus faked a birth announcement in the Honolulu newspaper to throw everybody from 2008 off the track. Then she went off and died. How convenient!

2) You have to believe that Obama hypnotized George W Bush back in 2006 and forced his ATF to start Operation Wide Receiver selling American guns (U S A U S A!) to the Mexican drug cartels while at the same time making Attorney General Gonzalez forget everything then continued the operation with a new name in 2009 just so he could watch it fail, blame the death of a patsy border guard on the American guns, and then force all the gun owners to give up their guns. Sneaky bastard!

3)You believe that your hatred of Obama, Holder, Sharpton, Jackson, Spike Lee, Barbara Lee, Van Jones, Michelle Obama, Sasha Obama, and that black dog of Obama's is all based on their politics but if you hate a tool like Allen West it's all cuz he's black. He is???

4) You actually believe the debt has doubled under Obama and that Afghanistan and Iraq were paid for by a giant gift card from Haliburton Mart.

5) You believe that giving rich guys tax breaks creates jobs and the fact that while the tax breaks were in force from 2001-2009 over 4 million jobs were lost is just Pravda type propaganda from them liberal media types. Like the Congressional Budget Office. Comrade.

6) You believe the stimulus failed. You have no idea why but Hannity said it or something. Your tax break from the stimulus never happened. More garbage from that uneducated Rachel Maddow.

7) Anytime it gets cold outside you holler. "so much for that global warming" then you snicker like the only thing keeping you from that late night hosting show are the libs in the media.

8)The Obamacare "tax" is the biggest tax increase in the history of the universe. You think this because Rush said so. You refuse to believe that Ronald Reagan (all genuflect) passed a tax increase of far greater amounts in 1983. Like twice as much. Stupid facts getting in the way.

9)You think some Mormon moderate who has done a 180 on so many beliefs that he apparently has no beliefs is your savior. You ignore the obvious because you can plainly see that Obama is, uuuhhhhhh, politically bad. And Mittens is white.

10) You listen to billionaires tell you what is good for the economy. They are looking out for you because regular guys like Rush, Hannity, O'Reilly and Donald Trump tell you so.

11) You think Wall Street con artists are hard working and that teachers and janitors are lazy bums sucking your tax money up. Looks like that janitor got ahold of your 401K too.

.........Oh it's just too depressing to ponder. The fact this country gets dumber by the day saddens me. But the major problem is that the stupid are proud of their stupidity. Yes, we are one proud people. Just ask the pied piper of dumb. Any right wing talk show host blabbing the talking points into the flabby heads of their lazy listeners. God Bless Ya Lonesome Rhodes!

Monday, July 2, 2012

A Child's Garden Of Republican Verses!

Now that the Affordable Health Care Act has been saved by another flip flop from a Republican whose last name starts with "R" the righties have begun self flagellating yet again. What is it with you people? You have no idea what you are talking about. Just because a lying sack of Irish vomit like Sean Hannity or a cheap chinless whore like Mitch McConnell says something don't make it so.

Anyway, some of the heroes of the right have reacted in ways that can only be described as, well, there's no way around this, Palin-arded.

The Alaska airhead herself tweeted, "Obama lied to the American people. Again. He said it wasn’t a tax. Obama lies, freedom dies.”

Gee, Caribou Barbie, you make me wish you were right. I wish you didn't have the freedom to be a fucking retard.

The College Republicans (what a nerdfest that must be) tweeted, "Help us raise 10k by midnight in the fight against Obamacare — We must send a message."

No doubt these fucksticks are probably all on their parent's insurance, thanks to "Obamacare".

Rep. Joe Walsh (Deadbeat Dad-Il) tweeted, "Today’s SCOTUS decision forces a new tax on middle class Americans, this is unacceptable."

Hey Joe, pay your child support and maybe somebody would give a fuck what you say.

Dennis Miller, former comedian, said, " As of today, the Obama campaign will start accepting contributions of unused air miles and counterfeit bills."

As with most everything Miller says, Chachi, it aint funny and nobody knows what it means.

Congressman Steve King (Embarrassment-Ia) said " “American freedom and Liberty have taken a hard blow today.”

Gee Steve, you need to ask for God's forgiveness, "Hard' and "blow" in the same sentence? I knew there was a dark Steve out there!

Rep Louie Gohmert (Goober-Tx)went so crazy he wanted to do bad things to Justice Elena Kagan saying, "she has violated federal law, and as such she needs to be removed from the Supreme Court. I think it’s important to look at Justice Kagan for potential impeachment. "

Gohmert is so stupid he probably thinks Kagan invented those exercises "whores" do with their nether regions.

Michele Bachmann (FagHag-Mn) said, ""This undermined the credibility of the Supreme Court first by the court having a schizophrenic view of whether Obamacare is a tax, They said it is not a tax for purpose of jurisdiction for hearing the case. Then they said it was a tax for upholding the constitutionality."

This just proves Michele is as lousy a doctor (schizophrenic?) as she is a lawyer, a congresswoman, and a judge of men.

Rep. Jean Schmidt (Wicked Witch-Oh) didn't really say anything except "Yes, Yes" apparently having her first orgasm in years when Fox falsely reported (redundant I know)the mandate was struck down. It's a disturbing video as this bonerack quivers like Ronald Reagan himself was gippering her.

Rep Allen West (Lunatic-Fl) said,“If I were to go out and say that every person in the United States of America needs to go out and buy a 9mm Glock, or else they will be taxed, I wonder how the people such as Nancy Pelosi on the other side of the aisle would react to that,"That really is the precedent that has been established."

Uh, no. But you're welcome to buy a Glock and hopefully have an "accident".

Ben Quayle (Chip off the old block-AZ) proposed fighting back against the Supreme Court's healthcare decision by amending the Constitution so that no law can be considered a tax unless Congress designates it as a tax.....Amending the constitution? Really Ben? You make your old man look like William F Buckley.

Meanwhile three Republican Governors, Bobby Jindal (Exorcist-La), Rick Scott (Fraud Artist-Fl) and Davey Heineman (Dwarf-Ne) all claimed they would not implement the Medicaid section of the Affordable Health Act. This from three frauds who said the same thing about the stimulus and then quietly took the money.

Oh the reactions are priceless. Let us all assume these nuts all favor pre-existing exclusions, kids being uninsured, preventative treatment not being offered and people to fucking die if they can't afford to pay cash. All in all, that's exactly what they believe in. No doubt.