Thursday, December 30, 2010

Rock Chalk Jaywalk?

I've been to historic sports venues before. Wrigley, uhhhhhhhh, The Metrodome? Ok, I've been to some real stadiums and arenas, many of which I would consider dumps that others worship. Wrigley, uhhhh, the Metrodome.

I went to Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas with Max on Wednesday night for the first time to see Kansas hammer an unarmed opponent. It really wasn't Kansas I went to see, but the building. It lived up to its billing just like most historic stadiums and arenas. It was a pit. But so what? They love their Jayhawks and isn't that what counts? Unfortunately yes.

Standing in line for a chance at a seat 2 1/2 hours prior to gametime. Getting in and rushing to get a first come first served seat. What could be better? Well actually having a seat maybe and not having to stand in line for an hour but that's nitpicking. Hey, I'm used to the Devaney Center (aka The Library) in Lincoln watching a lousy basketball team play in front of hundreds of sleepy fans and losing. This was different. There were banners hanging from the rafters crowing about 5 national championships, numerous Final Fours, and too many to count league titles. Hell, in Lincoln the building is sagging from all the NIT banners.

There were 16,000 nuts in the Fieldhouse an hour before gametime. Chanting crazy chants and singing Bon Jovi tunes with the alumni pep band. Cheering the lowliest player leaving the court. Screaming their love for Coach Bill Self. These people are akin to Nebraska football fans. Totally in love with a college team. And I hate them. Just as I hate Nebraska fans. 50 year old humans basing their self esteem on how a 19 year old kid plays a game is just sad. Hey, it's great to be a fan. It's another thing to really really care. I guess I just don't care that much anymore about any sports team. My heart's been stomped on by the Huskers, the Bears, the Twins, and anybody the Yankees or Cowboys beat. But I move on. Trust me, The Republicans do more damage to me on a daily basis than any sports team ever has.

So it was great to see the old Allen Fieldhouse. It was fun to watch a great college basketball team do its thing. It wasn't so much fun watching grown people getting so pissed off at a foul when they were winning by 12. It never is.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Bring Your Papers, Bristol!

Bristol Palin, fresh off the teabagger fueled 3rd place finish on some show where Z list "celebrities" dance and bored couch dwellers vote on who was the least worst, has paid cash (just like all real 'Mericans) for a 5 bedroom house in the Phoenix area so her and Tripper or Trigger or Trapper or whatever she named Sarah's photo op grandbastard can live in the antithesis of her beloved Alaska.

Rumor has it that Bristol wishes to go to college and the lucky college is that G.E.D. factory, Arizona State. The place that refused to bestow an honorary degree on the President of the United States because he "lacked accomplishment" but freely admits an Alaskan harpy? Oh man, I can't wait for the leaked online videos of the parties at the Bristol house when about 50 Sun Devil frat boys show their lovin' to the passed out Alaskan. I had no idea that ASU had a cosmetology program. Oh, and if ASU reconsiders admitting her, there's always the University of Phoenix. But Bristol dear, you didn't have to move there to establish residency if it's the U of P you want to attend. It's an online degree factory.

Great, another reason to root against those yellow pukes when they come to the College World Series every June.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas, The Twitter Was Full?

Merry Christmas to all courtesy of the funniest Christmas movie of all time, other than the Godfather of course. Randy Quaid has gone more batshit crazy than Cousin Eddie ever thought of being. Hope ya get better, Randy.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Birthday Max!

Happy 14th Birthday to Max. Just as big a rabble rouser as Max's Dad. We done good.

Monday, December 20, 2010

How's Your Health,Senator?

The DADT got the old heave ho on Saturday, thanks to Nancy Pelosi, the Senate Democrats and a few honest Republicans in the Senate. This antiquated rule that you cannot be who you are and serve your nation was about 17 years too late in being shitcanned. Oh I know that in 1993, the cowards and the religiously insane still ruled the roost and this stupid policy was the best that could be achieved but in retrospect, it looks a lot like the Dred Scott decision. Good riddance.

You know let's look at the roster of dishonest panderers, delusional snake handlers and just plain bigots in the U.S. Senate who voted to keep this dumbass policy intact.

1) Lamar Alexander (R-Tn) age 70. You'd think being a former Secretary of Education he'd have learned something. But then again it was under Bush 41. So he's a dope.

2) John Barrasso (R-Wy) age 58. He's a sawbones but he's from Wyoming where Matthew Shephard was considered a suicide. Hes a dope.

3) Bob Bennett (R-Ut) age 77. He's obviously religiously insane. He got beat by a teabagger, is leaving the Senate, and didn't have the balls to do the right thing. He's a cowardly dope.

4)Kit Bond (R-Mo) age 71. He's blind in one eye. Not to mention morally blind. He's a half blind dope.

5) Sam Brownback (R-Ks) age 54. He may be only 54, but he's 84 inside his head. He's a nutty dope.

6) Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga) age 67. He likes to hire people who post "all faggots must die" on message boards. So he's just a sick fuck. And he's a dope.

7) Tom Coburn (R-Ok) age 62. Did you know Oklahoma is the only state with a dumber Senator than Tom Coburn? This nitwit wanted to censor Schindler's List because there were some naked Jews in it. Being murdered. He's a moronic dope.

8) Thad Cochran (R-Ms) age 73. Not really sure about this guy. He's moderate by wingnut terms but he is 73. And he's a dope.

9) Bob Corker (R-Tn) age 58.Should a guy named "Bob Corker" really be voting this way? He's one of those for sale politicians who changes his views depending on the wind direction. He's a cynical dope.

10) John Cornyn (R-Tx) age 58. He's from Texas and he's equated same sex marriage with some guy marrying a box turtle. C'mon John, Mitch McConnell IS a box turtle and he's married. Cornyn's a dope.

11) Mike Crapo (R-Id). age 59. He says it's pronounced "Cray-po" but I'm not so sure.He's a who IS he dope.

12) Jim DeMint (R-SC) age 59. This belly crawler openly says gays shouldn't be allowed to teach and either should women who let their knickers down. He's a retard.

13) Mike Enzi (R-Wy) age 66. One of those types who leaps over a dead body to take his job. Enzi won election after his predecessor died in office. He's a ghoulish dope.

14) Lindsay Graham (R-SC) age 55. This guy's deeper in the closet than a Chilean miner. Self loathing AND a coward. He's a tiny little dope.

15) Chuck Grassley (R-Ia) age 77. In a former life I actually interviewed this guy. He seemed like a nice man. Guess I was wrong. He's a sneaky dope.

16) Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Tx) age 67. Big hair and all, she lacked the courage to do the right thing even though she's leaving the Senate. She's a texas sized dope.

17) Jim Inhofe (R-Ok) age 76. I'm surprised this guy hasn't sucked all the dumb out of the Senate by himself. Hes a fucking dope.

18) Johnny Isakson (R-Ga) age 66. Another wind changing soulless empty suit. He's a windmill looking dope.

19) Mike Johanns (R-Ne) age 60. He's such a dullard I can't even write anything bad about him. So perfect for Nebraska. He's a dishrag dope.

20) Jon Kyl (R-Az) age 68. He wants everybody to die in a nuclear war anyway so why the hell does he care if gay folks are in the military? He's a sunburned dope.

21) George Lemieux (R-Fl) age 41. He was chief of staff (hoo boy) to Florida Governor Charlie H Crist. So his vote makes no sense whatsoever. He's an enabling dope.

22) Richard Lugar (R-In) age 78. He seems a reasonable sort. Must have been the fact he's 78. He's an old dope.

23) John McCain (R-Az) age 74. Thank god this nut lost in '08. No man has destroyed his reputation more than this guy. He's a self flagellating dope.

24) Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) age 68. I'm not really sure how this mumbling turtle voted. He sounds like Foghorn Leghorn after a debilitating stroke. He's a down low dope.

25) Jim Risch (R-Id) age 67. He followed Larry Craig into the Senate. Not the first time I'm sure. He's a who the hell is he dope.

26) Pat Roberts (R-Ks) age 74. He's about two letters shy of being Pat Robertson. And about two IQ points shy of being an imbecile. He's a bald dope.

27) Jefferson Sessions (R-Al) age 64. This guy's middle name is actually "Beauregard". Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Third, boy. This neck has an actual 0% voting record on gay rights from the Human Rights Watch. He's a hateful dope.

28) Richard Shelby (R-Al) age 76. Compared to Sessions, your average Alabama rube must think he's some kinda lib. He's not. He's a turncoat dope.

29) John Thune (R-SD) age 49. He's running for President. To keep the teabagging fossils in his sights he must vote this way. He's 49 going on 99. He's an opportunist dope.

30) David Vitter (R-La) age 49. If it was letting hookers into the military, well now that'd be right up Vitter's alley, so to speak. He's a diaper wearing dope.

31) Roger Wicker (R-Ms) age 59. He said the Democrats were "willing to spill innocent soldiers blood" to repeal DADT. I wonder how he felt about "innocent soldiers" when he voted to send them to Iraq? He's a hypocritical dope.

There you go. Those 31 jerkoffs are akin to the neanderthals who voted against Civil Right Acts years ago. What's the common theme? The average age of these old white men and one woman is 64. Most of them are on their way out. Their successors will be younger and won't give a shit about how someone was born. These cro-magnons can't get off my planet fast enough.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Good Grief!

When's Obama going to stop fucking around with these people? These people, these Republicans in the Congress need to be dealt with. If he's not going to be the one to do it, well then goddamnit, get somebody who will. Fast.

When these Republican clowns take over the House in January, it's over. Unless Nancy Pelosi, with more political knowledge than the Boner ever thought of having decides to jam up the system. Christ, what am I thinking? The Republicans already have control of the Congress with their Jim Jones like cult following of a Kentucky closet case with a mumbling problem and the pussy Democrats afraid of their own shadow.

DADT failed last night, the result of more Republican bullshit and the cowardice of a Democrat from West Virginia. Yeah, the repeal of this bigoted policy got 57 votes and still failed to pass. Even Joe Lieberman got on board this time. But in today's Republican controlled Senate, that's not enough. Bigots like John McCain, Mike Johanns, Chuck Grassley, John Thune, and every Republican hayseed from south of the Mason-Dixon line are ecstatic. The Southern confederacy of Republican rubes is longing for the days of the 1960's, when if they hadn't had LBJ kicking their asses all over DC, they could have stalled Civil Rights legislation and kept them pesky negroes from voting and stopped that Kenyan Marxist from winning the Presidency. These people make me want to throw up my grits.

Obama has already proved his worth as a human being by "compromising" and allowing the rich puppet masters to have their tax cut continue (by the way if these "job creators" have been tax cutted for 10 years how come 750,000 jobs a month were going bye bye? Oh I see, the jobs were "created" in China). He was not willing to hurt the unemployed at the expense of calling the Republican bluff. But proving your worth as a human being isn't that hard when you're competing with soulless snakes. Bt I give him his due.

I'm rambling because I'm angry. Angry at Texas legislators wanting to replace Jews in the leadership poisitions of that distinguished body of morons. I'm angry at spineless weasels like Scott Brown for caving to Mitch "Yertle the Turtle" McCloset uhhh McConnell. I'm angry that cretins like Christine O'Donnell get book deals and express no sympathy whatsoever with the downtrodden, calling them "entitled". I'm angry that Twitter even exists do maniacs like John Bolton can call Obama scarier than terrorists. I'm angry some scrub Baltimore Oriole proves again that baseball players rival hockey players for dumbest athletes by expressing his birther views about "the birth certificate". And I'm angry that Obama will not fight back. C'mon man, we need Shaft, and all you got is Urkel?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Way Off Broadway!

We attended an off Broadway (about 1500 miles off Broadway to be precise) theater production of the Penny Dreadfuls this week. Max was the lead and the villain. The Professor to be exact, the leader of a gang of pickpockets in jolly old England during the 1800's, still a bit later than teabagger nirvana. It was first rate for a cast of 12 and 13 year olds. Jolly good in fact. Better acting than most of your Lifetime Movie Network originals I say!. Bravo to the cast of the Penny Dreadfuls!