Bring Your Papers, Bristol!

Bristol Palin, fresh off the teabagger fueled 3rd place finish on some show where Z list "celebrities" dance and bored couch dwellers vote on who was the least worst, has paid cash (just like all real 'Mericans) for a 5 bedroom house in the Phoenix area so her and Tripper or Trigger or Trapper or whatever she named Sarah's photo op grandbastard can live in the antithesis of her beloved Alaska.

Rumor has it that Bristol wishes to go to college and the lucky college is that G.E.D. factory, Arizona State. The place that refused to bestow an honorary degree on the President of the United States because he "lacked accomplishment" but freely admits an Alaskan harpy? Oh man, I can't wait for the leaked online videos of the parties at the Bristol house when about 50 Sun Devil frat boys show their lovin' to the passed out Alaskan. I had no idea that ASU had a cosmetology program. Oh, and if ASU reconsiders admitting her, there's always the University of Phoenix. But Bristol dear, you didn't have to move there to establish residency if it's the U of P you want to attend. It's an online degree factory.

Great, another reason to root against those yellow pukes when they come to the College World Series every June.