Sunday, July 31, 2016

The DNC!


Yes the 2016 DNC ended with the nomination of a woman by a major American political party which is historic. Only America pats itself on the back for things other nations have been doing for years and years. But whatever. Hillary Clinton, as a choice, is so far above the white supremacist Russian operative the other side decided to push forward as their standard bearer that it isnt even debatable. But onward, and the DNC is over. And it had its moments indeed. Just the pure star power of each convention was such a contrast. It was like watching a high school production of To Kill A Mockingbird with the black guy being the bad guy on one side while Broadway goes all out to tell the real story on the other side. Anyway here are the Top 10 moments I took from watching one helluva lot of an event I honestly find quite redundant.

10) Debbie Wasserman Schultz disappears.

Even her, she of the tin ear and the 1919 Black Sox mentality, knew she had to go away. For DWS, gaveling in the coronation of her BFF, Hillary , had to be something she yearned for. However, her Nixon like 1972 paranoia that her buddy would actually lose to a 74 year old socialist, took her down. And it should have. She is the very thing the Bernie Bots hate about politics. And though the Bernie Bots are not only naive and some are 100 proof anarchists, her head is the offering. Lets hope her career is over. Please.

9) Bernie Sanders Speaks

Bernie is still Bernie. He's a crusty old man with beliefs and principles that goddammit he's gonna tell you whether you like it or not. And he does. Wanna know what I believe? Listen to Senator Sanders. His speech was perfect. And it concluded with a call to arms against a White Supremacist Russian operative.

8) Jennifer Granholm

She cant run for President because she was born in Canada. You know, like Ted Cruz, who can run for President. But she can yell and holler and show the passion any candidate should show. Hillary aint Jennifer. Jennifer aint Hillary. Hey wow, not all women are alike. Take note, Republicans.

7) The Mothers Of The Movement

9 moms got up who had lost sons to gun violence. Police gun violence. Redneck gun violence. Gang gun violence. Of course, to the Republicans, this was an attack on cops. To anyone else with a room temp IQ and a low level of bigotry, this was an attack on gun violence. As long as cowards with guns continue to make it their FIRST response, this will continue. To not be moved by these women is to be dead inside. Right, Sean Hannity?

6) Bernie Boo Birds

To the true believers, I say this, you cant win every time. In fact to stay true to your beliefs is admirable. However, at some point, you have to adhere to the lesser evil. And sometimes its not even that evil. Like now. To boo Bernie Sanders at a rally for being an adult shows what children some of you are. The anarchists in the hall, who were there simply to be seen and get attention, were out of line many times. Booing a fucking General? Screaming during a moment of silence? Fuck off. Some day, you may learn it will very seldom work out in your favor. My basement is full of placards and signs advocating a President McGovern and Hart and Jackson and Church and Dean and Brown and Anderson and oh yeah, Obama. See? Now and then you get what you want. But we all know that the far right and the far left are the same. Jackasses and Elephants kicking down the barn just because thats what they do. Grow the fuck up.

5) Bill Clinton

For those, like me, who thought the Big Dog was looking sick, and out of touch, and over the hill, man were we wrong. Bill Clinton gave a speech so wonderful, like a fine storyteller, that it had me swooning again. I was in love again. The big lug, c'mere and gimme a hug. The "I met a girl" line was so great, despite the open ended jokes by less creative types, and the outrage shown by somebody whose sense of humor is not only strange but non existent, Rachel Maddow, he sjould use it all the fucking time. To those of us who thought Bill Clinton would be a liability, damn, we are wrong again. Get out there man. And stick that I met a girl line right in their faces. Insert not creative joke ere.

4) Joe Biden

Damn I wanted Joe Biden to run. I wanted to vote FOR Joe Biden. I love Joe Biden. Can Joe Biden debate Trump? But Joe Biden said two things that make me love Joe Biden.

"He says he cares about the middle class, give me a break, thats a bunch of malarkey"...........Translation---Give me a fucking break, thats a bunch of bullshit"

The guy doesn’t have a clue about the middle class. Not a clue — period”



Did I mention how much I love Joe Biden?

3) The Obamas

Nobody doubts Barack Obama's call to action. "Dont boo, vote" was pure White Obama.

"I can say with confidence there has never been a man or a woman — not me, not Bill, nobody — more qualified than Hillary Clinton to serve as president of the United States of America" Black Barack took over there.

He was masterful as usual. Third term anyone?

But Michelle Obama was the star of that family. Oh yeah, I forgot she mentioned the fact that the White House was built by slaves sending that old man Bill O'Reilly into white people defense mode. And other Republican bitters into white people defense mode. We know the other side is very uncomfortable with facts.

Michelle Obama's a speech was brilliant, patriotic, rousing speech, Too bad the racists on the other side will never be able to get past the arms and the skin color. Seriously. it really is too bad.

2) Sarah Silverman

To the Bernie or Bust people. you're being ridiculous.........Mic drop. Boom. Over. This woman turned this convention around. She did. And the great thing about it? It HAD to be done.

1) Khizr Khan

The father of a kid who died in Iraq fighting for his nation calling out a white supremacist Russian Operative. This was THE moment that had me tearing up. Not the Hillary speech. Not the Gabby Giffords speech. THIS is the one. A humble man and his wife, going through the worst pain imaginable, calling out a fuckstick like Trump on national TV. I wanted to see Shatner screaming Khaaaaaaaan. Trumps supporters are too stupid to realize the knockout punch this was. What does the white supremacist say? Who cares? Fuck Donald Trump.

The work begins. To deny a creep like Trump even getting close to the White House is paramount to the survival of this nation. He not only has to be beaten, he has to be crushed ike no other. Oh, I know it wont happen, the crushing like no other, since white supremacy still holds dear even in the Northern conclaves of genetic Republicanism. Shit, I live in one of those places. Where an R next to your name makes it impossible for a substantial number of genetic Republicans to mark anyone else. But Trump will lose. And I guess thats really all that matters.

Hillary!

Monday, July 25, 2016

Democrats Go Republican!


Jesus do the Democrats know how to fuck up a slam dunk or what? Instead of brushin past a out of shape slow trash talker with no game and slamming it home, they decide to go in for a 360 and fucking miss.

What the hell is going on with this campaign? On the one hand you have a party of bigots and dummies nominating a TV show clown who shoots off his yap on a daily basis, a man who claims he could kill somebody and not be hurt by it in the polls, a man who mocks the disabled, a man who has a disdain for all women other than his daughter, a man who is so vulgar and thin skinned he cannot stop himself from carrying on grudges against perceived slights even after the issue is long gone. This is the Republican nominee. Christ, the ghost of George McGovern running with the ghost of Barry Goldwater could send this creep back to his giant pleasure palace holding his tiny tail between his tiny fingers.

Oh but not the party of Hillary Clinton and Debbie Wasserman Schultz. These two also cant help themselves. One of them is a woman of great abilities who chooses to pander and lie and become totally unlikable everytime she opens her mouth. She doesnt realize her great gift she has been given. An opponent who by just conversing ruins his chances every day. Yet, this strategy is not an option. Because she has to start talking also and remind everyone the she too is a candidate and the vulgarness that is Trump becomes the phoniness that is Hillary.

Now I admit to still being a Bernie Sanders shill. I've said since the start of this long ass campaign. This party of mine, one of which I believe in because of people like Bernie Sanders or Walter Mondale or FDR, has been hijacked by a cult of Hillary supporters who make no bones and spare no opportunity to rig this system against their chosen messiah. And it quite frankly still pisses me off. Oh yeah I know she got 3 million more votes than he did and blah blah blah. I hear that from my sell out son every freakin day. But from Day One, this has been a coronation and not an election. Like the Republicans USED to be, it's her turn so shut up and fall into line you Sanders hippies. Nope. I believe in what I believe in and its not pandering to banks and Wall Street and being a get tough Scoop Jackson military hack. Scoop Jackson? Wow, I am old. Look it up kids.

Bernie Sanders got fucked over from the get go. When I sat in a school auditorium that cold February day participating in the Nebraska caucus with Bernie Sanders supporters, many of whom sat on the floor, stood against the wall, stood in the aisles and sat on each others laps while Hillary supporters barely filled up a section, and saw the system rigged right in front of my eyes I knew uh oh, this is going to be tough. With a caucus chairman who continually called him "Bernie Saunders" and a constant barrage of pro Hillary rulings it became apparent my party was not going to take Sanders people seriously. Finally when some announcement came that Hillary had 226 write in mailed in ballots and Sanders had 25 or whatever I was finished. Fuck this. You let people MAIL IN ballots and not bother to get off their ass and show up? Or was there some person in the back furiously writing in ballots?

Well we now know that suspicious behavior means theres smoke. Because of this:

"It might may no difference, but for KY and WVA can we get someone to ask his belief. Does he believe in a God. He had skated on saying he has a Jewish heritage. I think I read he is an atheist. This could make several points difference with my peeps. My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist."

Hey ref, I think you're a biased paid off hack. Referees are supposed t run a fair game. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is the 1919 Black Sox. Paid off, or so consumed by her Hillary worship, she cant see the forest for the trees. Now rated, she did not write that e mail, but as with Saint Reagan of Hollywood, the fish rots from the head. DWS is that head. Yes, she's gone, completely oblivious to what she did or said. Gee, who does that sound like?

As we go into Day One of the DNC, I shudder at what is to come. I look forward to what Bernie Sanders has to say. I know how tempting it would be to do a Ted Cruz and say fuck this. But Sanders isnt Cruz and as much as part of me would like that, the brain says no Bernie. Trump is a Russian controlled megalomaniac who cannot be allowed to even enter the White House much less live there. Look, we got jobbed by Hillary and her court. She is a terrible candidate. She almost got beat by a 74 year old man with crazy hair. But shes's all we have to stop a fascist takeover of America.

So for this week, I openly screech at the Hillary and her hacks. But come next week, I hold my nose for awhile, then by September she doesnt look so bad. Because the alternative is unacceptable and dangerous.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

KISS & Boston!!!


It's not often in a span of 48 hours, at least here in flyover country, you get to see 4 rock and roll hall of famers perform, wait, what? Only one of these bands is in and that was because they kicked the door down and demanded admission? And they quite frankly, suck?

Wow. On Wednesday evening three bands came to town, not one in the Hall Of Fame I guess, to rock out a crowd of broken down old people like me.

Boston was in town on its 40th anniversary tour. Yep, it was that long ago we first heard that unique guitar sound of More Than A Feeling blast out of the car radio and went, what the fuck was that? Then you ran to Musicland to buy that album. And you couldnt stop listening to it. Now its 40 effin years later and it still holds a place in your head and it aint going away.

First came Hall of Famers, Foghat, uhhh no? Foghat is a mere shell of it's former self with only one original member, Roger Earl, and he's a drummer for chrissakes. No I kid drummers because I love drummers. I really do. Opening with the best Foghat song, Fool For The City, it was bound to go downhill from there. But it was fine. Foghat, in effect a tribute band, played its blues oriented set for about 40 minutes, ending with Slow Ride, the only song I ever could play on Guitar Hero.

Second billed was Hall of Famers, Blue Oyster Cult, uhhh no? Now I saw BOC quite a few times back in the 70's at the old Pershing Auditorium and they were both the LOUDEST and most diminutive band Ive ever seen. My ears would be ringing for days after seeing them blast my ears with 3 or 4 guitars. Secret Treaties remains a fucking great album that nobody knows. BOC is older, still short, and not as loud as I remember but still relatively intact with both Eric Bloom and Buck Dharma still around. BOC rocked the Baxter Arena for about 40 minutes and had me standing and throwing my fist in the air when they launched into ME 262, a song only me and the guy in front of me knew. How do I know that? Cuz we both rose and said at the same time "yeah ME262" and then fist bumped.It was truly the best kind of senior moment. And Dont Fear The Reaper had no cowbell and it was still freakin great.

Then came the headliner, Hall of Famers, Boston. Uhhh, no again? That Hall of Fame sucks.

Boston has always been the one band in my Top 10 of all time I cant figure out. They are so utterly unique sounding and Tom Scholz is such a genius yet I had never seen them. Ever. I have no idea why. It just didnt happen. Opening with a guitar fueled Star Spangled Banner (damn I have to stand and remove my hat) they then launched into Rock and Roll Band and I was in heaven. I cant stress enough how good they still are even though original lead singer Brad Delp killed himself in a bizarre charcoal grill accident. So many great tunes, played with precision, including a pipe organ with steam pouring out of it as Smokin continues. I loved every second of it.

Then came Friday. KISS, Hall of Famers? Yes. Whew finally. Wait, KISS is in the Hall of Fame? WTF!!!

Anyway Ive never seen KISS before either. Mostly because I hate KISS. But how can I hate something Ive never seen? So we decided to go to Lincoln to see KISS. Hey, I got a Groupon for an $86 dollar seat for $22. Why not?

Caleb Johnson, American Idol winner, opened the show. I expected nothing. What I got was a great singer. Caleb Johnson, who looks like a cross between Jack Black and Sam Kinison, pranced around the stage for a good 45 minutes singing original tunes and a fantastic cover of Gimme Shelter. When you expect nuthin and you get something its already a great night.

Then came KISS. Again, nuthin expected. But I got a great show. Oh yeah the music is insipid, the lyrics juvenile, but the show is eye popping. Pyrotechnics galore. A show so planned, probably down to the exact second at all times, that even what are perceived as sweet moments, like when Paul Stanley played guitar with his arms wrapped around a star struck little kid, seemed choreographed. Nonetheless, the show is what it is. KISS hits, songs we all know due to osmosis, played well and with great fanfare. Hey, it aint my cup of tea, but it was a fantastic show. It was well worth the $50 or so. And it got me away from that fucking Trump for a night.

Highlights---

KISS played I Love It Loud.

Boston played Higher Power.

BOC played ME262.

Lowlights--

KISS did not play Strutter.

KISS did play Beth. Ugh.

Thanks (fill in the blank) you're the best crowd yet.

Finally, to sum up, I'd go see Boston, BOC and Foghat again tomorrow. I doubt I'd go see KISS again. But I'm glad I saw both in 48 hours during a week of fascism and fear. Music frees my soul.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Il Douche!


As I wake this morning from my slab in a tent and get a drink of filthy water from a mudhole before I squat in the road with my hand out while flies buzz my head, oh wait, this isnt the way America is? Chrissakes, the reality show clown sure made it sound that way last night as he made White Republican America shudder in fear and hold up the ropes for the fourth day in a row.

But I get ahead of myself here cuz there were so many other speakers that took to the stage to make asses of themselves and participate in the coming misogyny of Hillary Hate.

Jerry Falwell Junior proved to just as big an asshole as his dead fucking father. Something about an alleged Reverend hollering about gun rights bugs me. Along with everything else this fuckstick says.

Sheriff Joe? Fuck this, I'm going to get a taco.

Fran Tarkenton? How low can this go? Where the fuck is former Bears quarterback Jack Concannon? My only response to the moldy sports metaphors is tell Fran to scramble off the stage before another giant black man sacks you.

Representative Marsha Blackburn (Box of Rocks-Tn) is up and speaking about how her 401K went down in the last 8 years. What the hell did her financial adviser invest her in? Eastern Airlines and Enron?

Governor Mary Fallin (Fetus Humper-Ok) is up and smiling a lot. She's hitting hard on the lynch mobs faves. Military good. Hillary the devil. Immigrants bad. Borders good. She has the weirdest face with a creepy smile and out of whack eyes. All the better to watch a death row inmate struggle to breathe for 43 minutes after a botched execution. This is a real rogues gallery so far. Lucifer herself would reject them.

There's an eye doctor speaking? Good lord, this is getting sad. Hey, my eye doctor is a nice lady, why not let her speak? Oh, the nice lady part disqualifies her.

Reince Priebus? Shit, I see enough of these boring ass white guys holding meetings everyday at work. No chance, I'm switching to a Triple A baseball game.

I switch back over and some guy who looks like he's whacked out on high end cocaine. Oh its billionaire whatever Peter Thiel, the guy who decided that Hulk Hogan, clown boy rassler, was so harmed by a sex tape nobody in their right mind would want to watch, he sued Gawker into oblivion. Even thought I still see Gawker is up and running. Take that bruthaaaaaaaa. Thiel then announces he's proud to be gay and cheers erupt from the lynch mob proving once and for all that money trumps anything to these idiots. Or they are so out of it they still think gay means joyful. After all, these people still think "Fruitcake" "twinkle toes" and "pansy" say it all about some dude's swishiness.

Thiel speaks about something blah blah, the economy sucks, but the one question remains as this ultra rich poof drones on? Dude, have you READ the Republican platform?

More bad dancing from out of tune lynch mob chicks. Back to the baseball game. The Las Vegas 51's (great name) are winning by the way.

Then comes out the First daughter to Be. Ivanka Trump, who, like her dumbfuck brother, basically sits to the left of her father on the reality show that spawned this nightmare as he "fires" people and nods but is allowed to ask a question now and then becaue she can actually put an entire sentence together competently. Ivanka is talking about some guy who likes blue collar bricklayers and is a really nice man. I have no idea who this man is. She also favors cheap child care, maternity and paternity leave, and equal pay which her father provides. As long as the woman drps to her knees or lets him pat her on the ass. I think Ivanka gets in the booth in November and votes for "HER".

And then.......out come Mussolini Von Trump. Strutting, pointing, calling for martial law on day one (how else does he stop crime by himself?), bringing a darkness over the country, lying about crime, telling half truths about particular crimes, generally making this one big fucking downer. The U S A U S A chant that Mussolni Von Trump participates in makes him sound much like one Homer J Simpson. Dohhhhhhhhhhh!

I wont go into specifics cuz Trump is just doing what Trump does. Bloviate and offer solutions that only the dumbest fuckers on earth can believe. Like that lynch mob dressed in red white and blue yet somehow tacky as hell. Mussolini Von Trump is the lowest common denominator we deserve.

Lets just hope this nation sends this clown back under the rock he came down the escalator from. Gawd, America, what the fuck?

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Cruz Control!


Ok to be truthful, I didnt watch any of it.

But I guess Ted Cruz (R-Canada) refused to endorse the Clown, went on 15 minutes over his time, in effect endorsed Hillary, and got booed by the lynch mob masquerading as delegates.

I now admire Ted Cruz (Devil-Cuba) , in the same way I admire Lori Petty in Orange is the New Black. They are both crazy, but both dont back down on their craziness. And they dont take shit from insulting clowns with the brains of a 5 year old.

Ted Cruz (Squidward-Tx) found it impossible to back down to this hay haired maniac. The man who insulted his wife, his father and his manhood was not be bargained with. So Ted Cruz went all in with the bet that the Reality Show Phony would lose big in November. This opens the party up to Terrible Ted.

Oh never mind the lynch mob booing Ted Cruz (Poker Face-Tx), it means zilch. No matter the talk of him destroying his career. Dont mind the Dumbfuck comments of The Quitta From Wasilla. It means nothing.

These same idiots booing tonite will be cheering Ted 2 in four years because they dont care about anything but now. And now is a jackbooted turd from Queens with a foul mouth and a ten cent brain. 4 years from now will be the time for a foreign born nose licker with a message even worse than Trumps.

By the way, my admiration for Cruz only goes so long. Until..............now. Fuck Ted Cruz.....in 2020.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Day Two!


Night 2 of Nuremberg on Erie.

The weirdest moment may have been Paul Ryan (Hypocrite-Wi) standing onstage during a break talking to some black dude in a cowboy hat while the wedding band played Shake Your Booty as old white delegates again shook their arms and moved their hips without moving their feet. The networks were captivated by Ryan's throwing his arms around and laughing at virtually everything black guy in cowboy hat said. Or maybe a black guy in a cowboy hat just amuses him as much as it does me.

Bald headed jackhammer Dana White, who runs some legalized version of assault and battery, hollered something about everyone asking what the hell is he doing there? Or better yet, who the hell ARE you?

Some NRA guy, a true terrorist, loudly claims that the National Child Murder and Kill The Queers Rifle Association is the "oldest civil rights organization" in America. Hey, fuck off, you suit and tied psychopathic jihadist. Go fuck your gun again you immoral hump.

Uh oh, its gone from being laugh your ass off funny to me getting angry again. Goddamit.

Governor Chris Christie (Bridge Closer-NJ), see I can show respect for a fat prick, gave the speech of the night. As unhinged as it may have become by the endless chanting of the lynch mob in attendance, Christie laid out a perfectly sane case for throwin Hillary into fake prison. Unfortunately all those dim witted drunks in attendance heard was "Hillary" and "guilty or not guilty" so of course they threw out the guilty and looked for a minority to hang just like in the good old days. Now Christie's "case" was flawed and ridiculous, at least it was based somewhat in reality and not yeah uhhhhhhhhhh throw her in prison cuz like uhhhhhhhh Hannity said it.

Another Trump took the stage. Tiffany Trump, ya know the one who had great legs as a baby but not sure about the uh uh (put hands in front of chest). Tiffany Trump, who nobody knew existed until she was needed for Trump's con game. Tiffany Trump may be a nice gal, a great person, but for chrissakes her face is so distracting with that Trump mouth and that Maples head. I have no idea what she said.

Then came the biggest asshole in the Trump family, and that is saying something. It's exotic animal murderer Donnie Trump Junior. Donnie, whose business experience is mostly limited to shaking his head in a yes manner after his reality show clown father "fires" someone, came out to much hoopla. What was shocking is that Donnie seems to have inherited his father tiny body parts. In the Clown's case its his tiny little fingers, in Donnie's case its his tiny little head. Donnie proceeded to rip elitism and private schools, in a sense ripping his own privileged life. Donnie Junior, so tin eared he has no problem posing with dead animals he has just murdered, is the epitome' of the trust fund baby. No talent, no morality, no scruples and no brains. I hope to god an elephant stomps this prick someday.

Finally it was Sleepy Time. No I didnt go to sleep like I should have, it was time for Doctor Ben Carson, again proving operating on your own noggin is not a good idea. Carson, perhaps low dosed on Ambien, and probably with marching orders from Sarah Palin, brought up the name Saul Alinsky. Now nobody and I mean nobody on that floor knows who Saul Alinsky was but they do know Queen Sarah says it regularly so it must be a bad name. Seems Hillary once met Saul Alinsky and wrote a thesis on him and Saul Alinsky once quoted Lucifer in the foreword of one of his books so therefore, Hillary likes Lucifer. And that means Hillary wants to take God off the money and has a red tail and horns and Doctor Ben is batshit crazy when he's tired. Which is always.

Day Two prompts one question. Since the theme was Make America Work Again, where was the economic talk? Unemployment half of what it was 8 years ago, Dow Jones 2 1/2 times higher than 8 years ago. Hmmmmm..........Bennnnnnnnnnnnnnn ghaaaaaaaaaaaa zeeeeeeeeee!

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Day One!


Day one of Nuremberg on the Erie.

A mother of a man killed at Benghazi, cuz Hillary Clinton didn't become Wonder Woman or something, spoke to a crowd of meat grinding ignoramuses about how pissed off she was. Still. Ok, maam, I get it, you are angry your son died at Benghazi and you must blame someone. But to be used by a convention full of C list celebrities, a lynch mob of creeps who want Hillary hanged or shot or I guess "locked Up", is not becoming you. Seriously, maam, I feel your grief, I really do, but your "savior" doesnt give jack shit about your son or you. He proved it by phoning in to Fox News in the middle of your speech. What a waste of grieving energy.

A band of white guys played Motown hits all night long in between speakers and delegates danced and it was embarrassing. You may entertain the folks down at the club showing how hip you are waving your arms to I'll Be There, but on national TV, you just make yourselves look like privileged jackoffs.

A roll call was almost forced by the semblance of sane Republicans in the hall who know that their presumptive nominee is an amateur proto-fascist unfit to serve as a public servat anywhere in the world. It failed, barely, but it failed.

Two guys who survived Benghazi, who looked like the dictionary definition of gun humpers, spoke as one and made a tampon joke. A sign of things to come.

A former kiddie star, Chachi, spoke on making America America again (translation-white), and spent a good portion of his time defending his reference to Hillary as a cunt was justified.

A sheriff from Milwaukee, a black man, defended the killing of an unarmed handcuffed black man, and the lynch mob cheered.

A former lieutenant general, who Obummer shitcanned for advocating invading Syria and Iran, could not stop recognizing people yelling at him, like a bad stand up comic. He also led a cheer of "Lock Her Up" like a overactive teenaged cheerleader. Lock Her Up? For what?

And then, Melania. Introduced by a reality show clown emerging from a fog to an overused Queen song (bet they were thrilled) like some WWE phony, Melania walked out, scared shitless, and did the air kiss thing with the man she has to endure. She then proceeded to Eva Gabor her way thru a speech that sounded vaguely familiar. And of course it was. The people who hate everything Obama, who call Michelle "Moochelle" or worse, cheered Melania's words like they were hearing Slovenia Jesus.

I dont care about Melania Trump. She did what she had to do. And it was fine. At least she spoke about things positive. No "lock her up" or calling Hillary a cunt, or saying the word Bennnnnnnn ghaaaaaa zeeeee. Melania Trump took shit because her clown husband made her take shit. So lay off.

But the moment of Monday took place off stage when Representative Steve King (White Supremacist-Ia) decided to give us his anthropological views on World History. Basically saying white people number one, other sub groups are sub-human, King destroyed himself in every sense of the word, except in the district of Iowa that the knuckle draggers dominate. King showed what most of those old white people dancing to Just My Imagination on the floor of that arena believe. White people are oppressed, white people are smarter than others, white people are nicer, white people invent stuff, white people are the movers and shakers, and white people keep order.

Steve King is wrong of course. To believe the white is right argument, you have to believe Steve King is genetically superior. Watch that interview. Steve King is living proof that just aint so. Now back to waving my arms to I Heard It Thru The Grapevine, written and performed by WHO????

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Baton Rouge!


I would not like to be a police officer today. I'd feel hunted, hated and a target of every mentally ill gun humper in the country. Baton Rouge Police felt this today as another loser with access to a gun decided to go from Kansas City to Baton Rouge on his birthday to target cops because the voices in his head told him to. Yeah, it wasn't Obama, or Trump, or Baton Rouge police or St Paul cops or Dallas cops or Dallas crazies or Alton Sterling or anybody. It was his own mental illness that told him to do this. No politician has that power. Let's get that fucking straight right now.

But politicians do have the power to fund mental illness hospitals and centers to help get this threat off the streets. But, as usual, these pricks do nothing. In fact they do nothing to the point that even selling guns to mentally ill time bombs is ok with them cuz of freedom.

Yes, I'd hate to be a police officer today or tomorrow. But ya know what else?

I'd hate to be poor, black and powerless today or tomorrow also. Stay inside. Cuz cops trigger fingers are itchy, itchier than usual. And the poor and the black are a target also.

Today, The President had to step up to a microphone for the 16th time in his 7 1/2 years to address a mass shooting in this country. Man, he just HAS to be sick of it. So sick of it he cant wait to get the fuck out and throw his hands in the direction of the Capitol, the den of do nothingism full of some of worst human beings on the planet Earth. Leave it to Hillary. Let her deal with the weekly death toll. While Congress does absolutely nothing. Look, I know that guns are never going away and as far as Congress is concerned if you got the money honey and openly state your intent to kill cops or gays or women or whatever, you get that firearm free and clear in 10 minutes tops. This HAS to stop for fucks sake.

The next week will be tough. The rhetoric that will come from those vipers in Cleveland is going to be puke inducing. But still, it's coming, Hell, Trump has already blamed Obama. I can only imagine what bottom dwellers like Steve King (Dumbfuck-Ia) or Ted Cruz (Nose Licker-Canada) are going to spew. I shiver.

The people who dont get what Black Lives Matter means will be out in force with their clueless All Lives Matter bullshit. And the Black Lives Matter people who also dont get what it means will be out in force also.

Stay away from Cleveland.

But look at that man up there . A policeman that a mentally ill man with a gun took away from a lot of people today. That man had a right to live, a right to make a living, a right to be safe. As did Alton Sterling and Eric Garner and scores of others.

Calm down America. You want to blame someone for this? Look at your fucking congress critter. And anyone else with the power to do something yet choose to do nothing. These are the ones to blame, Not each other.

Platform Blues!


I am the first to say party platforms dont mean dick but at least they lie to people hoping they say hey, those are good ideas. Good thing Republicans cant possibly grasp that feeling cuz man are they against shit. Against Against Against!

The 2016 Republican platform may actually be less progressive than the original 1860 platform when that bearded hippie who ruined the Southern economy took control.

The 2012 autopsy conducted by Reince Priebus concluded that Republicans would lose and always lose if they continued down this path to taking us back to the 1950's by dissing the coloreds and the illegals and the homos. So what did they do? Well, the 50's may be a bit progressive to this bunch of knuckle dragging bitters who took control and nominated a straw haired reality show clown and decided to quadruple down on the white supremacy Tim McVeigh shit.

First of all Republicans call for a dismantling of the national park system. Give all that beautiful land back to the states, where we can manipulate a bunch of rural know nothings into selling it off to Big Energy and Big Developers and pout up something truly beautiful. Condos and oil wells. And of course start fracking and cause earthquakes. Simply beee-tyoo-tiful Charley, look at that giant crack in the earth and that cute elk struggling to free itself. His horns would look great on your man cave wall.

Look I just went through Rocky Mountain National Park, and other than the shirtless Bros mucking up the view, Ive never seen anything like it. To let this bunch of peasants get a hold of it and sell it off to Coors and The Kochs would be criminal.

Say did you know that porn is a national health crisis? Well according to the platform committee of the Republican Party, it certainly is. Put forward by that degenerate James Dobson and his Focus on the Family band of repressed nuts, porn is now a danger to children. Now I dont know what Focus on The Family members do in their man caves. But here's a simple solution to keep the kiddies from coming down the steps and seeing Daddy moving his shoulder to a video of a bad lady tempting a poor man by licking him like a dog. Get a fucking lock.

Yeah watching seething being blown is a crisis. But blowing your kids head off with your Glock isnt. Makes sense. Problem is it actually does. To Republicans.

Now on to the sickos. The gays, or as republicans call it, half their members of Congress.

These people need simple conversion therapy. Put em in a room with a bunch of other guys, have some guy who loves Jesus, no I mean some guy named Jesus, holler and scream how being born that way is just not true and how they need to just stop being that way and lie to God and adapt to being just like Jesus, yeah that guy named Jesus who will visit Professor Denial later.

You have to go the bathroom of the gender you were born with. Because we all know transgenders mock God by being all creepy and shit. And with all those closed stalls in a women's bathroom its perfect as a place to hide for some guy in women's clothing to molest your kids. Makes perfect sense. If you are a Republican dimwit who thinks "you're fired" is still knee slappin funny.

And oh yeah, sticking an amendment into the platform hammering the psycho closet cases who make up ISIS for the way they treat the fellow gays. Ya know by throwing them off buildings and cutting off their heads, Republicans thought that was a bit too harsh. Why single out one group like that? Poor ISIS. We shouldn't be that specific. Unless of course, it fits our agenda when we can graffiti mosques and whack off to Trump's simpleton ideas about bombing the hell out of a group of criminals already on the run. No, leave poor ISIS alone on that whole queer thing. Hell, in 4 years they may want to adopt some of those cool ideas themselves after four years of Hillary. Benghaziiiiiiiiiiii!!!

Adopt an unwanted child? Yeah, Republicans are all for it. If it involves a "mother and father". None of the loving and stable home shit put forward by 1970's thinking delegates. hrisaakes, that may open the door for homos to recruit, like they do. Say Johnny, ever been in a Turkish prison? Cuz ya know thats what "they" do.

Keep the Mexicans out. Build a wall. Specifically, a wall. Not a barrier. Not a fence. A wall. Hey Republican, who is gonna pay for it? You left that part out. Mexxxxi-coooo Mexxxxi-icoooooo!!! Your wind blown thrice married kook wouldnt approve.

The Trans Pacific Partnership, ya know, that thing that would allow American corporations to use slave labor. Wayyyy too complicated for this bunch Say nuthin. Besides, what's wrong with slavery?

Get rid of the IRS? You betcha. That's a golden oldie. Up there with getting out of the United Nations and HUAC.

Endangered Species Act? Bahhhhhh. More gubmint interference in white man's right to hunt down endangered species and eliminate them cuz why not? Gray Wolves specifically are pointed out as being huntable. Was Cliven Bundy in town?

Coal is clean. The Bible is the word of God and should be taught in public schools, which they really dont like either. Medical marijuana is bad. Same sex marriage is bad. Three times married to a different woman each time is good. Women in combat bad. Men in combat good. Prevent Sharia Law by imposing Sharia law. Up is down, hot is cold, Neanderthals are Modern.

This whole sick document, again, doesnt mean dick. Nobody is going to do anything about this craziness. Right? Is this a joke? A tornado haired con artist as your nominee? This isnt real, right?

I cant hear you? RIGHT?

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Bad Week!


Look I dont know if Gretchen Carlson, valedictorian, Stanford grad, Fox News dimwit, is all that stupid or not. She could have been playing a role for all I know. Be dumb so to appeal to the dumb people who watch Fox News. No idea. But I do know one thing about Gretchen Carlson. She is smart enough to sue the fuck out of Jabba the Hut and start the ball rolling on the demise of that Playboy Channel of "News" with its leg cam and glass desks and overhead shots and back slapping sexual harassers that make up its male cast. Oh I know Fox News will never go away as long as bitter old white people exist, but to see it dragged into court will be so great. Bitter old white female Fox Viewers will throw their hands at the television and call the plaintiffs whores and closet libs and harlots and bitter old white men will say yeah yeah and replace Gretchen Carlson in their spank bank with Ainsley Earhardt. This could be good, and like Trump, it wont matter what happens. Conservatives are incapable of accepting reality. Keep tellin me what I wanna hear.

This is a week from hell.

1) When you get to be my age, people start to die of shit not involving guns or car wrecks or falling off ladders they shouldn't be on. People start to die of diseases. People start to get sick and it doesnt end well. Somebody I knew real well for 50 years died this week. He had a diagnosed lung cancer for 5 weeks before he went. And yes, he had dropped off my radar for a long while because of things I really knew nothing about and some thing I did know about. Alcoholism I did know about. It ruined him. It turned a fried of mine into someone I never wanted to be around. Then there was mental illness. Something I suspected but never knew for sure. When you go to a service for someone like this, a friend you knew and then didnt, you really learn a lot about what happened. The depression, the group homes, the inability to live a normal life, the suicide attempts, the knowledge that at age 50 you would never be normal and had to live with people 25 years older than you in assisted living facilities. What the hell? I never knew any of this because it was never shared. All I knew was that an alcoholic former buddy was simply someone I need not associate with any longer. I refused to be an enabler. But I didnt see the deeper layers of this guy. For that I feel a bit guilty.

2) Watching the execution of Alton Sterling in Baton Rouge and Philando Castile in St Paul made me angry again. Much like what I swear was a tape of a group of people killing Eric Garner on Staten Island, or Mario Woods in San Francisco, or Christian Taylor in Arlington, Texas, or Samuel DuBose in Cincinnati, or Walter Scott in South Carolina, or Eric Harris in Tulsa, or Jerame Reid in New Jersey, or Tamir Rice in Cleveland, or Laquan McDonald in Chicago, or John Crawford in Ohio, or Oscar Grant at Fruitvale Station, but apparently did not see, the shootings of Castile and Sterling are just another example of what cops get away with. Tough job? Yep. A license to kill? Nope. And police apologists will continue to justify anything that cops do because of that split second decision bullshit they come up with. The they have a right to go home to their families bullshit they endlessly spew. The he was going for a gun crap that justifies anything. Now I admit I have a problem with the behavior of police due to experiences in my past, and I'm a white guy. But to be black and under siege because of your skin color is something I cannot understand. And stop with the color has nothing to do with it crap. It does. Everybody just put down your self delusion for a second and fucking admit it. Black people scare you. Brown people scare you. Muslims scare you, gays people scare you, anybody not like you scares you, or at least makes you uncomfortable. It is becoming a bubble country where the choice to live isolated and only hear what you want to hear is easy now. I work with black people, with Hispanics, with Muslims, with gays. I dont like them all and some dont care for me either. But I do like a lot of them. And I am not afraid to ask questions most people wouldn't bother to ask out of thinking they would be rude, or are scared of the answer. Trust me, most of these people, with good jobs and families just like the rest of us, have horror stories about cops, or bigots, or ignoramuses. What it must be like to earn money working, buy a new car, and get stopped by the police on the way home from the dealer because he didnt think a person of your color could afford a new car and must have stolen it. What it must be like to have a co worker tell you to take off that headdress so you could hear what she said. What it must be like to have the police stop you and demand citizenship papers when you were fucking born in Fremont, Nebraska which the last time I looked was in "real america". What it must be like to have the police follow you home from a bar, stop you and your spouse, and openly laugh when you say that he is my husband. So I get it, and dont get it. All are stories Ive heard from co workers and actually witnessed. So yeah it's a "tough job". Just try not being an asshole which I am pretty sure is not in the job description.

3) Dallas is a horrible thing. The summary execution of 5 officers by a whack job loser angry at the world, oh stop with the angry over Alton Sterling and Philando Castile shit, this guy had issues we will never know about, is just another week in the life of America. In a state where nuts walk around with rifles slung over their shoulders just because they enjoy being pricks, to have this happen must be fucking normal. 5 Cops killed by a mentally ill person with a gun. I dont give a shit about the gun argument right now, I just give a damn that people with mental illnesses are ignored (see above) and left to fend for themselves because this country lacks the foresight to do a fucking thing about anything anymore. Whether it be to fix a bridge, or fix a road, or to take care of the sick and hopeless, this nation simply does nothing. And now 5 police officers are needlessly dead and 7 others are laying in hospitals because of this close the barn door after the violence has occurred mentality. Do nothing! Zilch. It'll go away soon enough. Just make sure the right to bear arms is maintained.

4) Politicians who use the shootings, no the executions of civilians by cops, or the execution of cops by civilians, to further an agenda, or make meaningless bullshit statements need to be dealt with. And by dealt with I mean fucking ignored, or thrown the hell out of office. Whether its the moron who holds the lieutenant governor office in Texas, or a loser deadbeat ex congressman from Illinois, or a corporate hack Democratic candidate for President, just PLEASE SHUT UP! None of you will do anything, you just talk and talk and quite frankly, bore the hell out of me. Next week will be more of the same. Mass murders will happen and these same people will say the same thing and NOTHING will be done. Because nothing is what America demands. No new taxes, no new anything. One side wants to return to the 1950's and the other side wants to be Sweden. And no compromise is in order or you are a sell out or a racist or a coward.

5) Multitask. Please. Become angry over all things unjust. Whether it be cops being murdered by a crazy man, or innocents being murdered by the cops. It is possible to be outraged over both. And I understand most people are. But these loudmouths that dominate cable news because it gets ratings have to go away. Shouting matches between pissed off black men and angry white police union heads who think all shootings are a-ok with him get us no place. I turn the channel. A lot. Hillary Clinton and her stock response to the police murders in Dallas made me want to vomit also. I cant take it anymore. Us regular folks are getting lost in this narcissistic bullshit fed by cable news. Stop putting these idiots on the air. Or at least take control and tell somebody hey there, you are full of shit instead of saying we'll have to leave it there" after some knucklehead says something 100% untrue.

I do not look forward to this week. Or any other week to be honest.