Wednesday, March 22, 2017
The gag reflex is working overtime listening to the cornpone judge claim he's just a simple country lawyer with no gosh darn opinions on much of anything. Denver Judge Neil Gorsuch, the next SCOTUS judge nominee willing to turn the country into a hateful wasteland, is knocking softballs out of the park as Republican Judiciary Committee members ask him if he's a Nazi or anything like those Demoncrats say he is.
Now the fact remains Gorsuch should not even be sitting there. Surrounded by his loving adoring gazing wife and the strategically placed black woman, Mary Elizabeth Taylor, a sort of Omarosa Lite Gorsuch is aw shucksing his way to the inevitable lifetime seat confirmation he stole from Barack Obama and Merrick Garland. Oh he will be confirmed, because the hillbillies voted for enough Republicans to make it inevitable. That and the fact the Democrats are pussies.
Trump has obviously sold this seat to the various right wing groups who are bankrolling this farce. Trump wouldnt know a Supreme Court decision from a Maury Povich DNA test much less know anything about Neil Gorsuch, who may as well have a Federalist Society tattoo on his forehead. When the fainting couch fan, Lindsey Graham, asked Gorsuch what he wold have done had Trump demanded he vote to overturn Roe V Wade Gorsuch puffed up the phony indignation and proclaimed Why Suh, I would have gotten up and walked right out that door. Excuse me while I gag. Yeah sure, Neil. Besides the fact Trump thinks Roe V Wade is the name of one of his doormen, the thought of that scenario is laughable. Trump never asked anything of the kind of a guy like Gorsuch. Gorsuch was the name given him by The Heritage Foundation and had Rubio or Cruz or Santorum somehow won the White House, Gorsuch would still have been the guy.
Look, Gorsuch is as forgetful a nominee as I can ever remember with all his gee willikers surprise at some of the questions. Diane Feinstein nailed him in his sneaky advisement of the Cheney DOJ on how to circumvent laws against torture but Gorsuch bobbed and weaved with his gee maam I was just one voice in a crowded room and I'd really have to look at my notes to see what I advised. Yeah Im pretty sure I'd remember if I told some sick fuck like Cheney that plucking the fingernails out of suspects was a-ok with me.
Sheldon Whitehouse asked Gorsuch about the $10 million in Citizens United money that is backing this thieving nomination. Gorsuch has no idea what it is in fact claimed "It is what it is". Gee ok there, Judge Denial.
My gawd, the things Gorsuch claims to not know would disqualify a simple law clerk from doing anything other than running to Starbucks to get the latte's. Gorsuch's feigned ignorance is so infuriating, or should be, to anyone with even a 6th grade level of understanding the consequences of confirming this phony Chauncey Gardner to the Supreme Court.
Al Franken knows absurdity. And Al Franken made this statement after Gorsuch attempted to justify his vote to allow a company to fire a truck driver who refused to put his own life and others in danger by driving a truck with frozen brakes and refusing to sit in the cab and freeze to death.
"It is absurd to say that this company was within its rights to fire him because he made a choice not to—of possibly dying by freezing to death or causing other people to die because he was driving an unsafe vehicle. That's absurd. Now I had a career in identifying absurdity, and I know it when I see it."
Are you absurd, Neil Gorsuch, or are you just another of the 6th grade level thinking miscreants running around this putrid administration?
I think we know.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
If there was ever a case of buyer's remorse, it happened yesterday when FBI Director James Comey realized what he had done by throwing a bomb into the 2016 election when he derailed Hillary and allowed a fascist toddler to "win" the Presidency by appealing to
Within the first quarter of his testimony under oath, in front of a Republican dominated committee of Trump apologists, Comey confirmed that the FBI had concluded Donald John Trump was a goddamned liar AND a Russian stooge. Case closed. Impeach the creep now. Huh?
Trey Gowdy (Jug Eared Alien-SC) concluded only one thing from the Comey revelations. Jail the fucking press for reporting it. Now Gowdy (Bug Eyed Swamp Rat-SC) is truly a taxpayer money wasting redneck, but for this Benghazi obsessed deviant to conclude from the fact that his Russian puppet leader is a liar and a foreign operative that the only problem is the people reporting it is truly dangerous.
There were other Republican hacks with selective hearing. Devin Nunes (Lalalala-Ca) pretty much blamed Obama for all of it as mentally ill fascists tend to do. Nunes, a truly stupid man, falsely claimed that the Obummer administration was attempting to suck up to America's true leader, Vladimir Putin (POTUS-USA), for 8 years. This despite the fact, not an alt fact, a fact that Prez Putin hated Obama and Hillary for telling him to go fuck himself regularly. Comey made the remark "They wanted to hurt our democracy, hurt her and help him," about Russian meddling while being lectured by a Trump hack named Mike Conaway (Invisible-Tx). I am surprised Trump goons didnt bust in and rough up Comey at that point as the entire hearing was summed up at that point. Impeachment anyone?
Of course I am dreaming. Impeaching a clown like Trump is not on the table until at least after this bunch of anarchist sociopaths in Congress get their wish to turn the nation into the oligarchy paradise they want. Until they have used a truly morally bankrupt lunatic like Trump for all they can get out of him, they will never take any action against him. It's all about winning. They won and how it happened is irrelevant. Just as it is irrelevant to the millions of bitter people who have been convinced to hate "libtards" and "snowflakes" to the point of advocating traitorous activity and outright fraud.
But just remember. The same FBI guy Trump loved after he sabotaged Hillary's campaign is now after Trump. Dummy!!! Sad!
Monday, March 20, 2017
While President Nutty Turd frolicked in Florida yet again as the world burns, the weekend got even worse when it was learned that rock n roll argued inventor, Chuck Berry, passed on at age 90 and the argued greatest newspaper columnist ever, Jimmy Breslin, passed on at age 88. If you are from Chicago, or are a Mike Royko fanboy, as I, Breslin was certainly in the Top 2, right? And Chuck Berry, who wrote the guitar riffs that every other rock guitarist ever used as a center point, was the man who started it all.
Chuck Berry took country swing and combined it with blues to make a new sound that took radio by storm. White kids who normally listened to radio which played weak love songs and regenerated slowed down swing music heard Maybellene and went what the heck is that? Then it ballooned into a hit factory. Using the iconic Chuck Berry riffs, the radio went batshit on Rock n Roll Music, School Days, and the arguably greatest rock song ever, Johnny B Goode. Berry went on tour and on TV perfecting his famous duck walk while showing white America what a black dude from St Louis could do.
Berry entered my life as his career faded. His only #1 hit was a 1972 novelty song recorded live in England. "My Ding A Ling" was played on the Top 40 radio incessantly and I heard it as a rebellious teen and loved it. In retrospect of course its a juvenile crappy song and I bought the 45. But on the flip side (thats when you turn the small record over and play the throwaway song they dumped there, kids), oh the flip side of My Ding A Ling. It was a live version of Johnny B Goode. Goddam, what the heck is that? I played that version of Johnny B Goode about 100 times more than I ever played My Ding A Ling. A movie came out, and I dont recall its name (or I'd buy it) but it was a live stadium concert of 50's and early 60's rock acts like Bill Haley and the Shirelles and Little Richard (please stay alive forever) and Chuck Berry. Chuck Berry rocked and duck walked and played the hell out of that guitar and the movie theater crowd in Texas that day ate up every moment. I then went next door and snuck into Jesus Christ Superstar so I was very religious that day in my worship. Chuck Berry was THE MAN. I dont care about his troubled personal life and his snarkiness and his Trump like obsession with women's urinary functions because again, Chuck Berry was THE MAN.
Jimmy Breslin was the New Yorker most people who think of when they think New Yorker. A cigar chomping hard drinking man's man so to speak. Jimmy Breslin was a newspaper columnist for so many years it's impossible to even remember. He didnt write opinions as much as he wrote stories. Jimmy could take a hugs story, such as the JFK assignation, and write a column about the everyman who actually dug JFK's grave, or about a New York cop's perspective on that fateful night John Lennon was shot at the Dakota. Jimmy Breslin championed the underdog and fought like hell to take down the crooked comfortable who exploited them.
Jimmy Breslin used to be a reporter on a late night televison news program I watched. He interviewed a young Hispanic woman who worked as a maid in a New York hotel and was struggling to feed her children. As Breslin spoke with her she suddenly became passionate about what she was saying and began to speak Spanish for a moment. She apologized and said her English wasnt so good to which Jimmy Breslin made perhaps the kindest remark I may have ever heard. He told her to never apologize for speaking two languages because that was one more language than he could speak. Wow. That is kindness from a rough and tough guy. I have never forgotten that.
Jimmy Breslin was a man who saw things so much differently than most of us. While we were dazzled by the sparkly shiny stuff, he was dazzled by the stuff that didnt sparkle. He wrote an entire book about the worst baseball team ever. The 1962 New York Mets. Breslin wrote The Gang That Couldnt Shoot Straight a novel not about the Trump Administration but about the mob.
God I loved Jimmy Breslin. After the 2004 re-election of George W Bush he just kind of cleared off his desk and went home saying what the hell does it matter anymore. I so wish I had his brain, which he wrote about in I Want to Thank My Brain for Remembering Me: A Memoir about his aneurysm. The man was unique and he never succumbed to the crankiness and conservatism of old age like I think Mike Royko did.
You may remember that David Berkowitz, the serial killer known as Son of Sam who terrorized NYC in the 1970s killing young women and their dates, used to write letters to Breslin at the New York Daily News while he was still at large. When Berkowitz was caught and Breslin went to court to witness the arraignment of this twisted murderer, Berkowitz saw Jimmy and exclaimed " Hey its my friend, I know him" to which Breslin replied in perfect timing "Just shoot him".
Chuck and Jimmy. I will miss you both more than anyone will ever know.
Saturday, March 18, 2017
Its been about two months since a cranky old man took the oath of office, and began a taxpayer funded vacation each weekend, and his trust fund children began a taxpayer funded vacation, and his wife and child holed up in a grotesque tower, courtesy of the taxpayers. These grifters, these con artists, these hucksters, these swindlers are figureheads being used by a group of soulless creeps intent on taking all the money with them on their trip to hell.
The Trump "budget", unleashed on the public this week, written by people who hate other people and have no further intention of hiding it, was perhaps the most Draconian hunk of paper ever masturbated to by a gang of misanthropes like the ones that run this government.
To look at it is to go what in the fuckity fuck fuck is wrong with these evil snakes? Cheered only by fellow "conservatives" with hard ons for the future of death and destruction, this budget is universally hated. Well not universally, a gang of future homeless hillbillies in Tennessee seemed to like it a lot as their Fuehrer ranted, but for the love of the God they claim to believe in what is wrong with these people?
Oh the Defense Industry comes out just fine with their 10% increase. Read it again, The Defense Industry. Not the soldiers, not the families of soldiers, but the creeps of the Defense Industry, soon to be making millions off the death of brown people and meaningless weapons of mass destruction. The white guys in offices will be happy slapping each others filthy hands.
The Homeland Security Department? Comes out great too. This totally inept bureaucracy installed by a Republican small government administration profiting off of fear, gets a sizable increase, mostly to build that fucking wall nobody wants. Not to mention spying on you and harassing brown people some more.
Veterans Affairs also gets an increase. What does that mean? Well, more meaningless private health agencies stand to get rich keeping troubled vets on the hook. Vets Affairs is kind of like Dermatology. You are never going to be cured, you just keep going back and enriching more con men and women.
Who are the government services that get the axe? Basically anything that helps people cuz we know this modern band of "conservatives" really really hates you. Paul Ryan, the most despicable human on earth, even confessed to wanting to cut Medicaid when he was a young detestable punk ass bitch drinking beer after sucking up government money his entire teenaged life. Yeah Rich, wouldnt it be great to make poor people die sooner? Damn, I dont even need my Ayn Rand poster to get off on that. Gulp! Now wheres my social security survivors benefits?
The EPA gets whacked by 31%. Simply allowing polluters loose will create polluter jobs or something. Yeah get rid of the EPA and we'll hire people to shit in the rivers. Ahhh, American Business. These worthless motherfuckers do realize they cant take the money with them once they mercifully exit the earth, right?
As the second worst human on earth said, Irish lackey Mick Mulvaney, we arent going to spend any more of your money on climate change. What? Please, you Irish knave, spend it on exactly that. Ask those guys in the Pentagon that actually ruin the Defense Department what they think about climate change instead of asking your buddies running Northrop Grumman. Nobody makes me my Irish side more than assholes like Ryan and Mulvaney. You are a disgrace to your people and hey Ryan, that Guiness you pulled out was the biggest pussy move in Irish American history. As Irishmen continually said all day, the only people who puul that move are British nationalists and American tourists. Póg mo thóin you two Tory pricks.
The State Department cut 29%? The fucking State Department? What are you planning? A hike in defesne spending and a machete to State? Wow, wonder what's up there? Hey somebody wake up that old Exxon man from his nap and see what he has to say.
The Agriculture Department down 21%? Nice vote, Nebraska, and after you clowns all relive the Dust Bowl or are forced off your land by Big Agriculture I'm sure the percentage who vote Republican may even go down a point or two.
The Labor Department down 21%? Well, the re institution of slavery is a goal of the ghouls who run the Heritage Foundation, but come on now, not everybody can work at Carl's Junior. Who the hell is going to buy their heart attack inducing food?
HHS? Meals on Wheels. Bah Humbug! No results according to that Celtic scoundrel Mulvaney. Feeding old people and providing companionship. No results. The Irish cad is so used to reading balance sheets he cant see the tombstones for the graveyards.
As far as the rest of the budget. No more public lands, no more national parks, no more mass transit, education money diverted to Betsy DeVos and her crusader profiteers, no more dams, no more levies, no more anything.
This country would be turned in to a Third World no Fourth World oligarchy if these anarchists get their way. The amazing thing is there are actually Americans out there supporting this bombing of America because their orange cult leader says so. In fact the orange glob of shit has no idea whats in the budget because he lives thru the week to get back to Mar a Lago where he can gaze into space and long for the days of being a reality show host.
We have to stop this. And only thru not being lazy and not being bored are we going to stop it. Just this week, Republican dopes posing as United States Senators in red state Nebraska held town halls. Debbie Fischer (Self Hating Woman-Ne), welfare rancher extraordinaire, held her town hall in a small town and was met by
So if its happening here in RedStateLand, it certainly can happen anywhere. As Mick told Rocky Balboa, dont let that bastard breathe.
Monday, March 13, 2017
I used to live in the 4th Congressional District of Iowa. It contains a shitload of small towns, is 95% white, and has a bona fide white supremacist as its Congressman. Representative Steve King (Lamebrain-Ia) keeps saying things no normal person says out loud. Now he's lamenting the lack of white people in America and whining about American culture being destroyed by "other people's babies" whatever the fuck that means.
When I lived in that district, yes, I was an interloper in many ways. Raised in a an urban environment and a goddamned liberal I was definitely an outsider. But I must say, even though these people were Republican from the top of their high and tight haircuts to the tips of their dress socks and sandals, I never ever thought they were bad people, hateful people, or even all that dumb.
So what happened?
Yeah the Republicans dominated local races, dominated state races, and sent a bland boring ass Republican dweeb to Congress every two years, but crazy people were shunned. I distinctly remember nutjobs showing up at county board meetings with guns and bad attitudes and being told to hit the bricks by Republican board members backed up by local cops. When a Klansman showed up to stir up trouble over Hispanics and Asians working at local packing plants, the guy got shouted down and sent back under the rock he crawled out from under.
But that was years ago. So what happened there since I fled back to the big city?
In 2014 a viper name Steve King put his name into nomination to replace said bland ass Republican congressman who moved into a new district. Probably due to the genetic makeup of people who live there who must vote for the guy with the R next to is name, Steve King won election to the United States House of Representatives, a truly despicable body of hicks and rubes gerrymandered into office by racists at the state level. King got a rather low 51% of the vote considering the 2014 backlash against President Blackenstein. King proceeded to make stupid statement after stupid statement, mostly involving sick sexual fetishes he has about giant Mexican cantaloupe calves on the young Hispanic males who carry 75 lbs of pot across the border on a daily basis. He also supports animal fights because how would it look if humans are allowed to fight and animals arent? King also thinks arsenic in chicken feed is real tasty and has no problem outlawing free range chickens cuz of freedom or something.
King is also a big marriage advocate. As long as you aint gay or going to Vegas. King not only wants to outlaw gay marriage, known to the gays as "marriage", but thinks going to a justice of the peace or a judge or an Elvis impersonator is just plain sick. Go to a reverend you heathen. Like God intended. You know God? The guy who wrote the Bible and advocated slavery and polygamy? King loves that guy. And thinks you should too. At the point of a government gun if need be. But small gubmint of course.
King believes in racial profiling, doesnt believe in climate change , believes that white men are discriminated against, has a traitorous Confederate flag on his desk, believes that "Western Civilization" aka "white people" is superior to any other, thinks President Obama is Muslim and that Muslims danced in the streets after 9/11.
King made all these cuckoo statements in the two years he was in office. Surely in 2016, the fine residents of Iowa's 4th Congressional District would right their wrong. Right?
Wrong. I guess all that
So to 61% of Iowa's 4th Congressional District I say fuck you. I dont want to understand you, I dont want to reach out to you, I want you all to crawl back into your bunkers in Kiron and Sioux City and LeMars and suck a tail pipe. Just dont turn the tractor on. Your soon to be non existent health insurance wont cover you.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
I assume that picture is right after that group of miscreants learned some homeless guy got crushed by a garbage truck. Or maybe it was right after one of them told a story about running over a pipeline protester.
The House GOP unveiled their plan to uninsure millions of Americans, most of whom voted for these pricks. And as bad as you thought it would be, well, its even worse. Just like "President Trump" is much worse than "President-Elect" Trump.
Once again those GOP skinflints are bound and determined to kick America in the balls and tell them they are just checking them for cancer and most of them will believe it right after they stop throwing up.
Health Savings Accounts--yep just use all that extra money you use on I Phones and put it away for when you get sick. So when you get the inevitable cancer from the GOP sponsored pollution or have a heart attack from the dollar meals you can afford and you've saved all that money you'll be all covered from the very moment you hit the floor until the time the first EMT shows up. Thanks Republicans for making me save.
Tax Credits-- man these asswipes love those tax credits. After you've been gouged by the GOP Care for your astronomical price increases, at the end of the year you get to take a little bit of it off your taxes. There see, it all works out in the end. Kind of like bailing out the Titanic's boiler room with crystal goblets, if it sinks anyway, you just didnt work hard enough. Hey all works out in end.
Selling Health Insurance Across State Lines-- Jesus H Christ, how many morons fall for this old GOP standard? I am familiar with the insurance industry and trust me , if this shitfest comes to be, every insurance company will have a South Dakota address and stick Mount Rushmore up yer ass sideways because South Dakota has no regulations and very few legislative geniuses. Think of your credit cards. Hey when did Citibank and Bank of America move to Dakota? And where exactly is Dakota?
Individual Mandate-- well there isnt one. Unless of course you get shitcanned from your job created by Trump and spend more than 60 days without insurance. I mean come on, who spends more than 2 months without a Trump created job? If you do become lazy bum and dont get insurance for 61 days, the GOP masters in the insurance industry can jack up your rates by 30% as a sort of penalty for your sloth.
Oh for chrissakes the whole "plan" is nothing more than the general strategy of the GOP. Take money from you and give to their wealthy benefactors who buy their souls every two years. So keep falling for it Kansas, and Nebraska and South Dakota and oh for fucks sakes the entire South and the Plains. And they will fall for it because the strategy of selling this shit sandwich is already in play.
This morning Paul Ryan's designated Vice Asshole, Jason Chaffetz, went on CNN's fake news to push the "plan" forward into the poor gomers who make up GOP Land. Its all about "personal responsibility" and "freedom of choice" with these phony lunatics. And oh yeah, it's all about I Phones. Hey, stop buying those I Phones I thought President Blackenstein gave away to his homies for 8 years. Turns out "they" were buying them all along and Obama was buying them healthcare. Dick Chaffetz is done with that. And he wants his goobers to know it. Yeah, the free ride is over for "them" just like back in the 80's when "they" were all on welfare and "they" all bought Cadillacs. Now "they" buy I Phones and rip you, Goober, off for their free healthcare.
So fall for it again, Midwest. Its "them" keeping you down. And when the GOP takes your access to healthcare away, you know who to blame. Yeah, the inventor of the I Phone. Barack Hussein Obummer. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Rape me GOP!!
Monday, March 6, 2017
1)This has gone way beyond what a civilized nation would put up with. You have a goddamned mentally ill man, propped up by sycophants, racists and zombies ready to disassemble government any possible way they can. And having a Joker like Trump being the point man doesnt matter.
Look, Trump, its like this. You have only two choices here on your early Saturday morning twitter meltdown.
1) You are a liar
2) There was espionage going on at the Trump Tower with enough evidence to convince a FISA court that you are indeed a traitor
So its your choice. I think its probably #1 but wouldn't be surprised if its both. Another piece of advice for Donnie. STOP listening to a hairless troll like Mark Levin. Levin is a nothing but a squeaky voiced toddler throwing nightly temper tantrums to gizz up an already angry old white base. He also lies constantly.
2) I thought Kellyanne Conway was a bad liar. But this Huckabee spawn, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, makes Kellyanne look like fucking Barbara Jordan. Sarah, a moon faced daughter of moon faced Mike Huckabee, went on the Sunday shows with her talking points, her lies, her diversionary tactics and her Huckabee sense of humor, which is none. Sarah's insistence on sticking to the script no matter what the question, sent Martha Raddatz into almost banging her head on the table. Finally this morning, ABC's best attempt at a newsman, George Stephanopoulos, finally grew the nads to call Sarah a liar, not once but three times, which drew that stupid Arkansas goober grin when a smart guy stumped the Huckabee. Mike Huckabee is a Reverend, or so I thought. Nice job raising that liar, Mike. Kind of like that other monster you raised who killed the dog. Father of the year you aint.
3) The Muslim ban is back. When Secretary of Exxon Rex Tillerson announced that the Creep In Chief had signed his new ban in private to keep America "safe" it made me want to jam a gas pump up Tillerson's crooked ass and fill it full of Premium. Trump's Muslim ban has eliminated one country from the original 7. Iraq. Trump the Lazy changed a couple of words here and there and put it back out to be overturned yet again which of course will cause another Twitter rant and probably cause Trump's Billy Bobs to kill a few more Sikhs in the name of Bannon.
4) The House GOP has a replacement plan to the Affordable Care Act but you cant see it cuz its so awesome. The plan which reportedly will throw about 10-20 million off the insurance rolls, raise costs for virtually everybody, make insurance companies richer than they are already, cut taxes for the 1 percent, bring back bleeding and probably allow the use the poor's organs to keep old rich guys alive will be so unpopular among dumb Trumpers who put racism over their common sense that we may actually see some of them proclaim "yeah Im not so sure about that Trump anymore". Then the GOP evil doers will simply say "Obamacare" and the cult will fall back in line.
5) Ben Carson may be a brilliant brain surgeon, but he is one tone deaf son of a bitch. "Immigrants" in the bottom of slave ships? Jesus H Christ if you heard this sleepwalking mad scientist speak today you would have thought you were watching Young Frankenstein. Carson paced the stage like a tiger that had just been tranquilized fondly reminiscing about immigrants working 7 days a week, 16 hours a day and for no minimum wage. Ah the good old days, when the Negroes got a free boat ride and a good job when they "immigrated" to the New World. Carson also began speaking about the human brain and neutrons and threatened to drill a hole in your head, stick electrodes into your hippocampus and force you to read him a book you read 60 years ago, verbatim. What the fuck, Dr Frankensteen? Really? Who wants to work for this modern day Josef Mengele knowing that at some point he will come at with a drill wanting to hear you recite Green Eggs and Ham?
6) Finally , and I normally would dismiss this as hyperbole, but Khizr Khan , the man who offered not only his son'd life to his country but offered an orange talking pile of mucus a copy of his constitution, has cancelled a speech in Toronto because his "travel privileges" are being reviewed. Mr. Khan, who has been an American for 30 years, is justifiably concerned if he leaves the country, that a band of fascists in the United States Government led by a revenge minded talking Pomeranian would not let him back in. The Pakistani native probably never dreamed that the United States of America would be governed by a cabal of white supremacists hell bent of keeping his kind out. 30 years ago was bad enough, when am amiable dunce was used as the front man to a group of greedheads. But now, not only are the greedheads in power, we also now have a white Taliban whispering sweet racisms in the talking pile of Metamucils ears. Sorry, Mr. Khan.