Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Taking A Trump!!


After last night's eloquent moving speech from President Obama sank in and you realized that America is finished because a vulgar buffoon is assuming power, perhaps you said to yourself, self, it cant be that bad? Then came today when a crass, orange cult leader held his first press conference since he asked his Russian masters to hack the DNC. And as crazy as it may seem, Il Douche was worse than ever.

Pointing and gesturing and speaking at his normal 5th grade level, remember he loves the poorly educated, this talking pumpkin lived down to his incoherent image by speaking directly to the his core constituency. The poorly educated.

Playing the poor victim card as usual, this waddling narcissistic personalty disorder poster boy began this morning on the Twitter machine by bashing the intelligence community and asking if we lived in Nazi Germany? Well no, but we are one hell of a lot closer to it than before you decided to play this sick fucking joke on the rest of us.

Trump strutted to the podium to start the tragedy that will become American history by bashing fake news, ya know like Breitbart. Fake news, which can be argued elected this yammering troll, is a cancer on an American society dumb enough to believe it. And Buzz Feed is part of it. Buzz Feed is the website that published the "fake news" that Little Donnie T loves him Russian hookers and golden showers. Excuse me while I compose myself, I am so outraged somebody would say that about the President Elect. How dare they push forward nonsensical garbage like Trump's team met with their Russian handlers in Prague as late as August 2016. Why my goodness, Trump lawyer Michael Cohen proved that false by showing us all a picture of his unopened passport and stating "Ive never been to Prague". How dare BuzzFeed do that? Get back to the Which Trump Cabinet Member Are You? By the way I am 100% Ben Carson. I am sleepy AND clueless.

Then the Inane Elect bragged about the inauguration. How the "movement" is the biggest thing ever. Yeah big movement. Like the day 62 million disturbed human beings, 3 million less than us normals, took a big dump on the country and wiped their ass with the flag. Big movement indeed.

The Moron Elect moved on to almost admit it was Russia that hacked the election process. But backed off when his earpiece voice told him to back off and blamed everybody else too. Oh we all do it. Whats the big deal? Then the Dope Elect blamed the DNC for its lousy security and pretty much asked for it. No, Dummy Elect, YOU asked for it back in June. Remember? And by the way, Brain Dead Elect, The RNC was hacked. You are going to find that out when your handlers remind you of it.

The Gullible Elect then asked a simple question. Do you really think Hillary would be tougher on Putin than me? Uhhhhhhh, yes you Dumbfuck Elect, thats why the Russians wanted you to win and did everything in their power to help you. Remember that Prague meeting? Oh sorry.

The Bribe Taker Elect then bragged how Dubai offered him a $2 billion dollar bribe deal this weekend and he had the moral scruples to say no. Hey BuzzFeed, get on this one will ya?

The Tax Cheat Elect than allowed some sleazy lawyer to yack legal mumbo jumbo about why he has no conflicts of interest and how the framers of the Constitution had no idea about the 21st century and how a sleazy orange witless lunkhead would win the Presidency and be so successful at business that the entire economy would collapse if his bankruptcy loving business went into a not at all blind trust.

And then The Brownshirt Elect strutted back up to the podium and began throwing the Nazi card around and call BuzzFeed a "failing pile of garbage" which is about the only thing this talking tangerine has ever said that is remotely true. Bash CNN a bit and then it happened.

CNN reporter Jim Acosta attempted to ask the Ignoramus Elect a question since the Loony Bird Elect was bashing his employer and the Mussolini Elect started his meltdown.

Not you.....Not you....Your organization is terrible...fake news.....and Acosta was silenced by the Fascist Elect. And the Dingbat Elect got applause from his hired goons for squashing the reporter just like his boss does over in Russia. This was truly disgraceful in this nation. Can you even imagine what would have happened had Obama cut off a Fox News hack with the same disdain? My god the right wing snowflakes would still be clutching their pearls.

We are truly fucked, normals. Until this orange blockhead is stopped, and he will be stopped at some point (probably by himself) we are traveling down a rough road towards those same paid goons who applauded today at a reporter being silenced actually beating up the voices of dissent.

I am actually uneasy that the 62 million poorly educated who elected this Half Wit Elect havent realized the error of their ways. Or have they?

Monday, January 9, 2017

The Devil Wears Ill Fitting Suits!



Meryl Streep is God. And Donald Fucking Trump is the devil.

The bravest and greatest acceptance speech ever. Meryl Streep dont give a damn what a man child like Donnie T thinks. And she told the Bully Elect exactly that.

So watch it and realize that some people are not willing to roll over and take it from the Pussy Grabber Elect.

Meryl Streep is my hero!

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Stop Them!


Getting so close to the end. The conservative hard on is raging. The 19th century mindset is arrogant, confident and fully set on installing a political structure which will kill the middle class, the poor and enrich themselves for the remaining time they have left. A unity of money grubbing Republicans without a moral bone in their body and the kooks who think Jesus is coming and wish to help it along. The crusade of greed and delusion is starting already even before the Fraud Elect has even begun his reign of error. Chrissakes, the disrespect for the current black President can never be matched. When another fraud named Rick Scott (Medicare Crook-Fl) ONLY speaks with a Clown Elect about yet another mass murder committed by a madman with a gun and ignores the guy still in office it is very clear that the disrespect and outright racism will never stop.

What is going on?

Well we know the House Republicans, led by a widow peaked Bro with a disdain for everyone but himself, attempted to do away with the Ethics office cuz they were so concerned the non partisan office was catching too many of them scamming the system. Whether molesting pages or taking bribes or torching the family values they all say they believe in, the Ethics office was picking on these creeps too much. So instead of reining in the behavior, why not just get rid of it? But the Bro of the House didnt count on a fact they ignore. That Creep Elect got 3 million less votes then the email Queen and they let them know. Ethics is not something to be fired. So fuck you you beady eyed Bro. Error #1

The Russians hacked the DNC because they asked for it. This is the strategy invoked by the Russian Puppet Elect. Their defenses were not good. So apparently if you leave your car unlocked and it gets stolen its not a crime. This is the Operative Elect's morality? Not only that but after he finally fucking went to an intelligence briefing and was informed the Russians hacked the election and it wasnt some 400 pounder in a basement the Liar Elect went out and began blabbing that the hacking didnt affect the election. You can read the report online that the investigation did not include anything about whether the election was affected but that is what the Narcissist Elect got out of it thus proving the fact this man is going to kill us all at some point because he hears only what he wants to hear. How can a man be told one thing and hear the exact opposite? Because the Manchurian Candidate Elect is a sick man. What other conclusion can one make?

The Delusional Wing of the Politburo is intent on bringing on a myth called the rapture. By cutting embassy security by 50% the kooky wings of the Republican Party is going to bring it on baby. Unless of course the Israeli embassy is moved to Jerusalem and the wet dream of fairy tale believers is fulfilled. Hey guys, Benghazi? You seemed to really flail about and cry over that clusterfuck for the last 4 years, wasting money and finding nothing. But now, cut security by 50%? You guys belong in a rubber room.

Repeal and replace Obamacare. Now we know that all the economically anxious white people who voted for the Cult Leader Elect all hate Obamacare but love the Affordable Care Act right? Just ask them. It has the word "Obama" in it so it must be all black oriented and shit. Our own Senator, a welfare rancher named Deb Fischer (Self Loathing Female-Ne) somehow made repealing people's health care option and leaving them uninsured and vulnerable to bankruptcy a plus. She's fighting for YOU, just remember . For YOU. By taking your option away. For YOU. Considering the brainwashing done here in RedStateistan she will win re election with 75-80%. For YOU! My sense of Schadenfreude is intact enough to admit a part of me wants to see the result of coal miners losing their Black Lung benefits. You voted for it. Congrats on your own self rat fucking. Now get back down there and make the 1% even richer.

Defund Planned Parenthood. The misogyny of this band of cult leaders is beyond pale. Led by old white men and post menopausal self loathing bitter old white women, this goal has been incessant for years. Planned Parenthood is in direct contrast to God's will. When in actuality ist really just about old men and old women are just pissed that somebody somewhere is having more fun than they ever thought of having. It really is nothing more than a hatred of youth, a jealousy of youth. These women haters really are still angry at the young chick who rejected them back in 1963 or 1973 or whatever. It's a sick sick desire to stop any young woman from being anything but as miserable as they are. These people are fucking sick. So are their cult members.

This nightmare gets closer to reality each day. This band of self centered maniacs is out of control. They CAN be stopped. IF the Democrats, you know thew people who got wayyyyyyyyy more votes than these cheating creeps, can grow a pair and fight.

It also is possible that those of us who voted the winning way stop for a second and make 30 second phone calls to these assholes. They dont actually ever answer the phones, they are cowards, but they do hear you concerns. Leave a message. Tell them you know what they are up to. Tell them you are watching them. Only if they think you dont care do they get away with their nefarious plan.

Someone once told me to Give Him A Chance. Fuck you. I do NOT accept any of this. Ever! You should not either.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Good Riddance To 2016!


Good riddance to 2016 we all say. Oh it seemed like the worst year ever for deaths of people we know and love but it probably wasnt. Oh it WAS the worst year ever as it put the world's shining light on the hill firmly in Russian hands for 2017 and beyond but still, shit is still shit. 2016 was shit.

Muhammad Ali died. The Greatest passed away after years of being silent after the years of telling it like it really is. That death was tough. NOt unexpected but still tough. Childhood heroes dying bring your own mortality to mind. That aint fun.

Carrie Fisher and her mom going away within a day. Gene Wilder. Arnold Palmer. Florence Henderson.Gary Shandling. John Glenn. Christ stop!

But it's musicians who affect me most. They bring joy to me. They say what I want to say but lack the talent to express. And many of them left us alone. Yeah 2016 sucked.

George Michael died on Christmas. A cruel joke. George Michael was one of those guys who came along in the 80's who us rock n rollers didnt accept as anything more than a pretty boy. A force only to young girls swooning over that beard and those teeth. Of course he was gay as we told every young woman fan we could. That's what those of us facially challenged say about anybody prettier than us. But by all accounts George Michael was a kind and generous man with demons. And as much as I hate to admit it, this may have been the best pop song of the 1990's. We are not better off with him gone.

Prince Rogers Nelson

I dont get it still. Prince was not a musician I appreciated. He was obviously a genius and a true gift to the world but I never got it. Biut when they found him dead on that elevator at age 57, wow. That was shocking. How could that happen? His greedy handlers took most of his music away so they could continue to suck money out of his corpse, but Prince may have written the best pop song of the 1980's.

Glenn Frey

Anybody who saw that documentary History of the Eagles could conclude nothing else except that Glenn Frey was a total prick. Between he and Don Henley the Eagles must have been a total pain in the ass to deal with. I hate the fucking Eagles man. I really do. But that does not mean I wish death on a man who brought joy to clueless music fans willing to fork over hundreds to see a 1970's band that meant so much to them. They just suck. Though Already Gone was pretty cool blasting out of my dorm room.

David Bowie

David Bowie left us. For chrissakes man, this guy was the shit. With that androgynous glam rock of the early 1970's getting more and more forceful, Bowie was the man. I mean come on man. Who doesnt love this? Hey man. Good god, even after he got sick of the whole Ziggy Stardust he reinvented himself into a suave sophisticated no gimmicks rock star. I never got a chance to see Bowie live. But seeing this could have made my year.

Leonard Cohen

I was late to the party on Leonard Cohen. That haunting baritone voice. Yeah he wrote Hallelujah which was covered by everyone. It was and is a beautiful song. Leonard Cohen wrote it. But his most haunting and meaningful song means even more to me now. Everybody Knows. Yeah Leonard, we know.

Maurice White

Earth Wind and Fire. What else do you need to say? I saw them for the first time this last November with Chicago. Maurice was gone by then. So though Phillip Bailey is still great, it lacked something. It lacked Maurice White.

Leon Russell

Mad Dogs and Englishmen at the age of 12 or so introduced me to Leon Russell. Though it was a Joe Cocker show, I loved Leon Russell. Then came the Concert for Bangladesh. Wow. Leon's rockin gospel revival show was unbelievable to a white suburban kid in the 70's when he brought it to Lincoln. It almost made me want to go back to church. As long as Leon Russell was there.

Paul Kantner

The Airplane was Slick and Kantner. It never flew so high as when those two were in charge. Sorry, Marty Balin fans. When Grace Slick would let that powerhouse voice loose and Kantners hippie guitar would shoot forward, it was never better. I miss Paul Kantner a lot. He never sold out and he never compromised.

Others gone include the legend himself, Merle Haggard. Merle never ever said anything other than what he was thinking at the time.

Rick Parfitt died. He was the guitarist in Status Quo. Who you say? Maybe this will jar your memory.

Pete Burns died. Who? Dead or Alive? No? He spun around a lot? Oh come on!

And finally.

Sir George Martin

The man who made the Beatles the gold standard they are. Sir George kept them in line. He roped them in when they needed it and he let them go when he thought they should be let go. Martin was the brain behind the unstoppable machine. Akll that weird shit, the great stuff, was a combination effort. Sir George Martin a mere technician? I'll let John take it from here.

2017 is going to suck too. People die. Baby boomer musicians are old and decrepit. Trust me I know. We can only enjoy what they did and are still doing. Grim Reaper, stay the fuck away from Willie and Paul and Ringo and Chuck and Keith and Roger and Pete and any person who still plays jazz. Please.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Mary's In Labor And Joseph Is Still Hunting Down The Father!


Merry Christmas to anyone who believes in such things. Happy Hanukkah to the original believers. Happy Kwanzaa to those who believe in that. And Have a Great Peaceful day to all the rest of us.

Right now in the Northern Plains of the United States of Russia on December 25th it is currently 40 degrees heading to a high of 55 or so. Oh and its pouring down rain, thundering like a fracking celebration is going on, and I am sweeping rain water off the driveway with a push broom to keep it out of my basement. Those hoaxster Chinese and their climate change pranks.

Anyway its only 26 days until fascism and anarchy take over so lets have one day of fun, merriment and hope. Tomorrow we can go back to trying to stop this madness from engulfing our lives.

Start drinking, smoking, eating or snorting or whatever you do to hold off the despair! And tell racist Uncle Joe to go fuck himself, but wait at least until this afternoon. And if all seems to be lost, watch this. It will make you smile!

Happy Holidays to all!

Friday, December 23, 2016

The Wave Of Zombies 4!


And now finally, that last wave of creatures making up the new cabinet of the guy who identifies with the common white man by crapping on a gold toilet and putting his fucking name on everything, Orange Mussolini. Jesus I am glad this is over. Let the hearings begin on this unqualified bunch of hacks and cronies who are replacing the swamp of qualified hacks and cronies with at least a semblance of humanity.

Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin

No thats not a misspell. It is actually his name. Kind of like Drumpf. Mnucgin, lets just call him Steve, has no experience in anything political or policy oreineted. His only qualification for this massive post is he's a Donald Drumpf toe sucker. Steve was a Goldman Sachs guy, ya know, like the Goldman Sachs that ran Ted Cruz's life and Hillary said horrible things to in a speech, oh wait, not THAT Goldman Sachs, the other Goldman Sachs, the good Goldman Sachs. Steve was also a hedge fund guy. You know, those leeches who sit around destroying people's lives as a kind of video game with real outcomes. But they make a shitload of money they could never possibly spend. Its a moral failing. These guys have no conscience, the whole economic system is a fucking game in which they win and they dont give a flying fuck who loses. Yes, the Trump ass licker is going to run the economy. Good new for you economically anxious white working class guys and gals. No taxes and no regulations on Wall Street. Yeah, Steve will get everything going again. Get ready for that 401K to explode, right in your face.

United States Secretary of Defense Geeral James "Mad Dog" Mattis

Yes sir, this whole administration is a goddamned WWE wet dream. A guy named Mad Dog to run the nation's defenses. I am convinced Drumpf picked this retired Marine Corps General only because he could yell "Mad Dog" at his crowd of rasslin fans and get huge cheers. "“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.” Excuse me? I know he's a Marine and Marines are genetically nuts, tough as all hell, but crazy. Yeah you need Marines, but you really don't need them in charge of anything other than rampaging. The Defense Secretary is by its very name alone, in charge of DEFENSE. Mad Dog (yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy) is kind of a Secretary of Offense. “I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all.” Ohhhh kayyyyyy then. This isnt Vince McMahon in some fake bullshit pay per view event (oh by the way its all fake, Drumpf fans) getting his creepy head shaved making goofy faces at our Fraud Elect, this is reality. You do realize this, right? To all White economically anxious voters I say get your kids ready cuz they are all gonna die to make Steve (see above) and his buddies even richer.

Attorney General of the United States Jefferson Beauregard Sessions

Good lord, where do even begin with this guy? Lets forget about the hearsay about him calling black guys "Boy" and him not thinking the Klan was all that bad until he found out some of them smoked the wacky weed while they were out burnin their crosses. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions has a record as an attorney and a federal prosecutor and as a a United States Senator from Alabama. That record is abysmal. Of course it is cuz his name is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions. A true Southern redneck still living in the 60's, the 1860's. Sessions has voted to ban flag burning and put it into the Constitution. He has voted to keep the icky gays from getting hitched and putting a ban on the into the Constitution to keep that from happening. About the only thing he doesnt like about the Constitution is the crap already in there. Ya know, like voting and drinking alcohol and voting and all that liberty shit the commies are always screamin about. Sessions called the Voting Rights Act of 1965 a “piece of intrusive legislation”. Goddamned Yankees comin down there and tellin the Jesus lovers what they gotta do. He once prosecuted civil rights workers for registering black folks to vote. He lost. He voted against lifting the ban on the icky gays in the military, he voted against the Violence Against Women Act , he hates the marijuana smokers and characterizes them a "not good people" after which I assume he threw down a couple of mint juleps. In other words, this guy is just another prick. Great huh? The top law enforcement official in the land has no fucking idea its 2016.

United States Secretary of State Rex Tillerson

He's the head of Exxon Mobil. A corporation that has its own foreign policy of bribing horrific dictators in order to win rich oil contracts. In other words, this soulless creep will destroy the lives of many in order to line his own pockets. Sometimes in direct conflict with official United State Foreign policy which of course to guys like this is run by a bunch of pussies. Tillerson may be the only Drumpf boot licker more in Putin's pocket than Drumpf himself. Tillerson is not only good buds with ex KGB Putin he is also BFF's with Igor Sechin, the head of the state run Russian oil company. Igor Sechin you ask? With a name like that of course he's ex KGB. Basically its the fact Tillerson has no interest in any nation on earth that doesnt sit on a lake of oil that should bother everyone . He knows nothing of India-Pakistan. He knows nothing of Israel-Palestine. He knows nothing of anything. You think this asshole cares about world peace? Fuck no. Tillerson has his head so far up Putin's ass that Drumpf himself may not be aable to get in himself. Tillerson has also sued to keep fracking out of his own back yard.He wants it in your backyard. Tillerson owns a shell oil company in cahoots with the Russians in the Bahamas. Oh fuck it. Just launch the missiles now.

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer

Spicer is the typical press secretary. He is a fucking liar. The only difference between the Democratic liars and Spicer is Spicer also hates the very press he is there to speak with. So when Spicer lies, he will do it with a sneer. When the First Escort Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama in her rambling speech at the Republican Convention Spicer was right there to defend Mrs. Drumpf. Welll uhhh Michelle plagiarized My Little Pony. But most important of all, Spicer is one of those pious asshole Catholics who leave that dirt on their foreheads all fucking day on Ash Wednesday to show how much better they are than you. Screw off Sean. You aint better than anybody. You prove that daily.

and finally........

Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway

If Spicer is a professional liar, Kellyanne Conway, a sort of blonde skeletor, is the queen of bullshit. If anyone is not sick of this smiling cobra I dont know who they are. The woman cannot answer a question straight on if her gray roots depended on it. Conway, a pollster of some repute, once spent the early part of 2016 saying that the vulgar Donald Drumpf was a creep who offended everyone. Then of course she sold her soul and became Drumpf's point woman to cuddle the dummies and white supremacists who make up Drumpf's base. Oh that and those economically anxious white folks who voted for the so called billionaire who has their best interests at heart. Conway to them is the 7th grade teacher who tells them what to do, with a gigantic smile on her face as she suppresses her absolute hatred of them. Conway is truly the empty vessel of Satan that Drumpf can never be. A spitting cobra of a woman, Conway is the face of this administration. A smiling liar with a nun's demeanor. You have to have done time in 1960's Catholic grade school to know what fear this horrible woman brings out of our deep sleeping repressed brains. She is truly evil.

The Tweeter Elect has surrounded himself with some of the most unqualified self centered morons this country has ever seen. And thats not even including his creepy sons, Uday and Kusay Drumpf.

We need help. Lots of help. If there was a God, which with this election I know there isnt. I'd scream out for help. Oh what the hell. HELP US OH LORD.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Two Heroes And A Zero!


Two American heroes died over the past two weeks. Lucky them.

John Glenn was a member of the Mercury 7. The first man to orbit the earth. One tough son of a bitch. Glenn was the epitome' of a hero. The word has been so diluted over the past 50 years I am not sure there are any heroes left. Nowadays, you put on a uniform and sit around playing high tech video games in which you actually get to kill people and the only risk is carpal tunnel, and you get called a hero.

John Glenn risked it all. Nobody knew what would happen. But John Glenn risked it all. And for what? His nation? The world? Himself?

John Glenn became a Senator from Ohio. He ran for President in 1984 but never got any traction because by then, real heroes had taken a back seat to made up heroes like Ronald Reagan, a man who never risked a damn thing yet was created by a cynical new breed of bullshit artists. Glenn went on to go back to space at the age of 77 again renewing his hero license. John Glenn died at age 95. The world is worse off because a real hero like John Glenn is gone.

Larry Colburn died last week at age 67. Larry Colburn was also an American hero. Colburn was a chopper gunner during the Vietnam War when his Captain, Hugh Thompson Jr, saw the My Lai Massacre going on beneath them. Thompson landed his chopper between the American soldiers slaughtering innocent Vietnamese civilians and exclaimed "Y'all cover me! If these bastards open up on me or these people, you open up on them. Promise me!" to which gunner Larry Colburn answered "You got it boss, consider it done." A stare down occurred between Colburn and the soldiers. The crew saved numerous civilians that day, including an 8 year old boy clinging to his mother's dead body in a ditch (see pic above for the reunion in 1998) Oh yeah, Larry Colburn was 18 years old that day.

John Glenn and Larry Colburn represent the best of America. It's what we can be. Not what we have become.

Today in America, a band of cowards elected a bona fide fascist bigoted sexual assaulter as President of the United States. This is what we have become. A nation of dim bulbed morons fascinated with reality show clowns who promise them the sun and the moon. John Glenn and Larry Colburn are out there somewhere covering somebody's ass, instead of being one.