Thursday, March 6, 2014
That is Wisconsin vampire Paul Ryan (EddieMunster-Wi) speaking in front of that devil sponsored CPAC convention. You know the Conservative Political Action Conference, that yearly event where Republican doughboys go to snarl at the poor and meet up at the Ziegfields/Secrets in their Ronald Reagan leather masks after the snarling is done for the day.
I challenge you to listen to that failed Veep candidate carry on about how the poor don't give a shit about their children like "they" do and not want to reach through the screen and throttle that jug eared motherfucker. This guy has gone beyond pissing me off now. This widow peaked fuckstick, who survived on his dead Daddy's Social Security benefits, slipping in some bullshit story told to him by a hack out of Scott Walker's office about a little boy who just wanted a sack lunch and no Government cheese.
“What they’re offering people is a full stomach and an empty soul.”
Excuse me while I clean the vomit off my keyboard. You, you pious cheese chomping prick, offer an empty stomach AND an empty soul.
No wonder Uncle Joe was laughing at YOUR empty soul.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Geez, I usually have to wait at least a week or so before I have to take back something I said. Well here goes. That Nebraska movie, where I said we all have common sense and are really nice? Fuck that!
We have a Governor's race here where we get to replace a short little Republican fuck with another perhaps taller Republican fuck. Now last time we had a Governor's race, and by governor's race I mean the 2006 Republican primary because the Democrats put up a scarecrow every 4 years now, we had a race between a classy, legendary football coach named Tom Osborne and a guy from Fremont who used to dress in a little suit when he was a wee Fremonter (he still is wee, I mean when when he was 8) and pretend he was Governor of Nebraska. The football coach lost, thank Gawd, and went on to save the Huskers from the clutches of Bill Callahan. The tiny Fremonter won and then was re-elected in 2010 when the Democrats found the one guy in the state who was a crooked Democrat and he dropped out.
Now the current Governor, have I mentioned his name is Dave "Fremonter" Heineman, has to leave cuz of that whole two terms thing and a whole new set of assholes have crawled out from under the rocks. Despite Heineman's right wing prick reign here, he was never a loudmouthed Mark Levin type. Now......oh my......nothing but loud mouthed asswipes are vying to get the Republican nutjob vote.
Their ads are goddamned awful as they vie to be the most right wingy , pro life, pro gun, pro being a dick candidate ever. Fuck Mexicans, fuck women, fuck pussies with no guns, fuck President Blackenstein, fuck liberals, fuck homos, fuck poor children, fuck everybody except the oppressed white Christian male majority and their subservient women.
This is the future for a decent people? I mean one of these shitheels, current Attorney General Jon "Fish Eyes" Bruning has photos of himself glaring at Nobama and promising to "fight" him. I assume Bruning will leave his sheet at home.
Pete Ricketts is a rich prick from Chicago who keeps his house here so he can run for office every once in a while and has new hope since his Daddy bought our current United States Puppet Senator, Debbie Fischer (Rickettsbitch-Ne)a nice cushy job for 6 years in 2012. That after Daddy failed to buy Petey a Senate seat back in 2006.
Beau McCoy is another jackoff who apparently is running against Rachel Maddow. Jesus, Beau, nobody voting in the Republican primary knows what she looks like because they have their grizzled mugs staring at Megyn Kelly with their hands in their pants every night. Give it up.
The rest of these Republicans are nobodies. Same old ads. Same old stances. I'm just waiting for the lynching Obama ad which will take one over the top.
I weep for my state. Well, not really. I just am very sad these dicks have taken over here too. Welcome to Kansas. What's wrong with us?
Sunday, March 2, 2014
33 dead in Chinese knife attack. 109 injured in Chinese knife attack. And it took a "gang" to do it?
Cue the NRA child murder advocates to gloat about "Knife control" or "good guys with guns".
China is full of pussies. Come on China.5 people kill 33? Damn, we have assholes who could kill 33 with one fucking gun all by themselves.
U S A! U S A!
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Oh where's the time gone again. It's Oscar time where conservative America gets to make fun of the only rich people they don't like and wonder how Alone Yet Not Alone got screwed over by those liberal Hollywood types.
It took me awhile but I've seen 99% of the so called good movies and a lot of some that weren't so good. In fact I paid money to see that piece of dung called The Counselor. Never in my life did I think I would be repulsed by Cameron Diaz. Thanks, Counselor.
My Top 10 of 2013 goes as follows:
10) Inside Llewyn Davis --Damn how I wanted to love this movie. Crissakes, I went to the local snobby movies theater and paid outrageous amounts of cash to see this before it went to the chains. Oh well. Hey, don't get me wrong, The Coens made another good movie. It was well done, well acted and the soundtrack kicks ass if you're into wimpy folk music with meaningful lyrics. But.....I didn't love it like I wanted to. Some old guy (and by old I mean one day older than me) exclaimed outside the theater "I looked forward to this movie for a long time and it wasn't that good". Yep.
9) Blackfish --this was the best documentary of the year. And I saw at least 2 or 3 so take my expertise for what it's worth. But the storyline made me hurt. The abuse, the indifference and the total lack of compassion for these magnificent killer whales made me angry. Yeah yeah, I know Sea World is pissing and moaning and the backlash is out there from the animal abuse advocates but see this at all costs. Make up your own mind if sticking a St.Bernard into a cage meant for a Yorkie flies with you.
8)Rush --hey I'm not fan of car racing, Ron Howard movies or rod up the ass Austrians but this movie actually thrilled me. It made me realize there's a bit of Formula One racing fan inside me. The sounds, the speed and the drivers not named Darryl or Dale or Ricky Bobby were very appealing. I would see this again in a heartbeat. And Daniel Bruhl and Chris Hemsworth can really git er done.
7)Saving Mr.Banks . Oh I know this was trashed as Disney propaganda and there is no one who hates what has become of Disney more than me. But dammit, this was back before Walt died and the bullshit was still somewhat real. Yeah yeah I know P L Travers was a horrid woman and a lesbian and probably went to Sea World and cackled at Shamu's fate but Emma Thompson is brilliant in this role. Tome Hanks is brilliant. Paul Giamatti redeemed himself from being that awful slave owner in 12 Years. But Colin Farrell as the drunken father of the young Ms. Travers was the one you couldn't take your eyes off. Everybody complains that Emma Thompson got fucked out of a nomination. Hey what about Colin Farrell?
6) Mud --this is McConaughey's year. All right all right all right.. This little movie features Matthew McConaughey as a kind of spiritual,chipped tooth mystic to two teenaged boys. For an indie, this one made my damn day the day we saw it. See it.
5) Captain Phillips-Paul Greengrass cannot make a bad movie. This flick has incredible tension when you know the ending already. That's not easy to do. Tom Hanks in the last 5 minutes of this thriller does the best acting of his life. It got dusty in the room when I saw him in shock at what he'd been through. He wins Max's Dad's Oscar. It was also great that Greengrass did not turn the Somalis into cartoons. Yep, they are criminals, but at least an attempt to understand was made. "I'm da captain now" and "maybe in America" were fucking powerful lines.
4) The Wolf of Wall Street--the hype over this movie made afraid to see it. It's porn, it's over the top, it's ridiculous, it glorifies greed. Really? It was Scorcese's Goodfellas on PCP. If you've seen Scorcese over the years and worship at his altar as I do well it really wasn't all that shocking. Reprehensible people doing reprehensible things. That's what Marty does. If you liked anyone in this movie other than Kyle Chandler's stand up guy FBI agent, well then, go fuck yourself. Oops, went a little Wolf there.
3)Her --Joaquin Phoenix got hosed too on the nomination process. Spike Jonze makes some weird, wonderful movies. You cannot deny his creativity and the ability to come up with new ideas. This movie about a guy in the not too distant future who develops a relationship with a voice on a computer can either frighten you or thrill you. Personally it frightened me that this IS the future. There is no doubt that eventually people will become content with this kind of "relationship". Good luck humanity. I'll be long gone.
2) 12 Years A Slave --its hard to watch. It's hard to endure. But it's Schindler's List like brutality hits you like a punch to the gut. Goddamn, I don't know how actors say these things, do these things and become such hateable people. But Michael Fassbender, Paul Giamatti, Sarah Paulson and Paul Dano are all the worst characters ever. Ralph Fiennes in Schindler's List has competition. Everybody talks about the whipping scene as being the worst but tell me that watching Chiwetel Ejiofor hang with just his tippy toes hitting dirt while people go about their daily duties isn't the fucking worst thing you witnessed at a movie in 2013.
1) Nebraska --hey I know all of these people so maybe THIS was the best documentary of the year. Hey, like Fargo did in Minnesota, it pissed off many here in Nebraska as portraying us as rubes and hicks and dumb. Wrong. It portrays us as we are and if the truth hurts, well so be it. These people in Fargo and now Nebraska are decent and good folks and if you let that go over your head because you want to appeal to the coasts, tough. Some people already think we live in flyover country (and they are correct) so a film featuring plain talking Woody Allen intellectuals isn't gonna change anybody's mind. Live with it. This movie is a wonderful exercise in storytelling and Will Forte keeps it all together in an underrated performance. This is my best movie of 2013 and if you think I'm prejudiced for Alexander Payne well you are correct. I think the man is brilliant.
Fruitvale Station would be 11. Dallas Buyers Club would be 12 and McConaughey and Leto are both worthy Oscar winners. Blue Jasmine and it's you are who you are message was 13. All three movies are worth watching.
Now about Gravity. Ehhh. I saw it in 3D. Great effects. But would I see it on a regular screen or on television? I don't really know. It wasn't bad but it did not move me like it should have.
American Hustle? Couldn't stand it. Other than Robert DeNiro's surprise cameo, in which he shut down Christian Bale's DeNiro impression as far as I'm concerned, this movie was just a bad Wolf of Wall Street. Reprehensible people doing the reprehensible things. But this time there was no Kyle Chandler as a All American FBI guy, just Bradley Cooper's permed scuzzbucket FBI agent.
There it is. I'll be watching the Oscars just like everybody else. I'll be ashamed of myself throughout because I actually give a shit. But whatever, like Sally Hawkins in Blue Jasmine, I am who I am.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
There is a good Brewer story out of Arizona. It's Hank the stray dog adopted by my new 4th favorite Baseball team, The Milwaukee Brewers. Those Brewers didn't fuck around for three days doing polls and figuring out a way to ban Hank from hanging around Brewer spring training camp when he wandered in injured and filthy one day.
Hank has been a fixture in Brewers camp and will go north with the team when the season starts. Hank even ran in his first sausage race yesterday. He didn't win, but not a bad first effort.
Good Dog! Good for Hank! Go Brewers!
Oh I know she did it and I guess I should be happy. But as usual I am not. Finger Wagging Arizona Governor Jan Brewer (Leatherface-Az) vetoed that SB1062 last night after fucking around for three days. So why the lack of enthusiasm?
It's the three days of running around trying to figure out a way to not veto it and still keep the Super Bowl while keeping those gays in their place or rather out of their place. Unfortunately for her, nobody could figure out the magic formula and she was forced to veto the bill for monetary reasons. Not because it was the right thing to do, but because a whole lot of people were gonna stay out of that hellhole of a state if it was passed.
I'm sorry but I still have a fundamental belief in principles. If you think the gays are ruining your state because your Book of Magic Fairy Tales tells you that well then at least stick to your beliefs and don't cave to monetary pressure. But as we all know, when it comes down to a dollar now or eternal salvation later, the true believers will take the dollar everytime. Shit, they'll just go to confession or more likely, forget the whole thing and continue their delusional beliefs which have now been proven to be complete and utter bullshit.
Jan Brewer and the rest of the Arizona Tourist Board have shown me who their real God is. And it aint some bearded dude with a staff up on a cloud. It's Roger Goodall and the NFL.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Turns out Forrest Gump was not all that special in Alabama. It seems the Alabama House of Representatives (why is it ALWAYS the House bumpkins no matter what state) or at least one of them there committees, lets see, the House Educatin Policy One, passed a bill that would require teachers to spend 15 minutes every mornin readin the prayer invoked at the US House or Reps or the US Senate. Ya see, it aint religion, its gubmint teachin!
Ok, very clever! Representative Steven Hurst (R-Greenbow Alabamaaaaa) thought this bill up all by himself cuz he's so shifty and smarter than those liberal atheists that permeate Alabama state gubmint. It passed out of committee by a 2 for it and 3 agin it which to chairwoman Mary Sue (of course)McClurkin (Gumplican-Indian Springs)is mathematically sound. Now to be fair now, cuz that's what I'm all about, she passed it out of committee by voice vote so maybe she's just deaf instead of stupid but nonetheless, Alabama House members will get to soon vote to force teachers to read prayers said in front of a House or Senate full of corrupt weasels to a bunch of impressionable lil Alabamans. Yeah, if that aint proof that praying is a complete waste of your fucking time I don't know what is. Praying to guide a snide fuck like Ted Cruz (Nixon-Canada) or a hissing cockroach like Steve King (Dunce-Ia) is as futile an act as can be imagined. Almost as futile as trying to convince your average Alabaman that Roll Tide isn't in the Ten Commandments.
Now the commies in the ACLU are already chuckling at the potential half assed effort they'd have to put forth to get that law thrown out if the nitwits of the Alabama legislature pass it. But ya know, it is a bill put forth by Alabama Republicans convinced their sly ways are undetectable to your average Bolshevik so who knows.
Personally I hope the bill passes. The more of these teabagger bills that pass, whether it be keeping the gays out of your Cracker Barrel or giving the guns back to blind mental patients, the closer the day comes when the Republican Party implodes.
But this Force Kids To Listen To Teach Drone On for 15 Minutes Bill is the one I really favor. It's for the kids. I care about the children. It's about time somebody thought about the children like I do.
Hey kids, just think. 15 minutes more of sleep every freakin day!