Thursday, December 5, 2013
What is it with the millennials? Shit, I don't know what a millennial is. I guess it's a kid under the age of 30, probably drunk, playing Call of Duty and checking their Obama phone every 5 seconds. And for some reason, that bastion of intellectual thought all Republicans hate, Harvard, asked these kiddies a series of questions, in between jello shots of course.
Hey, the 18-30's don't like their precious King Obama any longer. Harrumph, see, Bill O'Reilly was right, children. That Nobama is a ineffective noodle dick and the Republican Congress is just looking out for your future by gumming up everything from lower interest student loans to jobs bills. You idiots were just too stupid to realize the genius that was Mittens Romney, hard working Harvard grad.
Let's examine this highly scientific poll. shall we? Looks like 52% of the 18-24 year olds want to "recall" Barry The Muslim Hussein Osama. Recall? Really? You can do that? I thought that was a tactic common only to hick towns and medium sized cities that long to be hick towns. Wow, ya learn something new every day. Oops, as these drunken sloths get a bit older, like 25-29, the percentage of them who want to sit outside a Wal Mart gathering signatures to recall the Kenyan Usurper they all voted for drops to 40%. Seems you get wiser as you age. Unless of course you join the tea party and then your brain just turns to mush.
So I guess all the youngsters , still insured on the old man's plan to age 26, still with that $20,000 they borrowed from Mommy and Daddy to start a business, cannot stand that Indonesian Madrasa graduate at all. Here's your opening Republicans. The kids are open for indoctrination with all their Obama hatred and stuff.
What's that? The little ingrates said what? Seems 60% of the little bastards 18-29 voted for the Marxist, Obama not the Pope. 84% of those would vote for him again (though I am not sure they realize they can't) because they still understand that Mittens Romney was the boss they never ever want to work for . And this was said through a haze of pot smoke and binge drinking.
So there, Republicans. Keep coming up with stiffs like Mittens, Teddy Cruz (Daddy Issues-Canada) or , god forbid, Rand Paul (Muskrat Head- Ky) and these stoned, drunk millennials will keep on being all confusing to you guys. And all the giant headed Uncle Sams sticking his face in a young hotties crotch or giving away beer koozies with a call to break the law isn't going to help.
Somebody hit Reset. That solves everything, right?
Friday, November 29, 2013
They should have known this back in 2003 when then Nebraska defensive coordinator Bo Pelini ran across the field after Kansas State had slammed Nebraska 38-9 and called K State head coach Bill Snyder an "asshole".
They should have known back in 2003 when acting Nebraska Head Football Coach (Frank Solich had been fired)Bo Pelini ran onto the field at the Alamo Bowl and garnered an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty defending, of all people, Husker offensive lineman Richie Incognito.
They should have known after Pelini had been hired at Nebraska full time back in 2008 when Pelini was caught by a sideline mike calling a Husker lineman a "fucking moron" during a WIN over Baylor.
They should have known in 2009 when Pelini hollered at reporters at a practice his famous "what do you think?" when asked perfectly normal questions.
They should have known in 2009 when Pelini, after a loss to Texas, screamed he wanted to see the Big 12 Commissioner "right fucking now" and hinted of a conspiracy to deprive Nebraska of a win.
They certainly should have know in 2010 when Pelini was caught on the sidelines at Texas A&M screaming at his quarterback, poking his finger in his chest, and sneering like Voldemort.
They certainly should have known in 2011 when after a WIN over Ohio State, in fact the biggest comeback ever in Nebraska history, Pelini ran off the field screaming at fans and later went on a recorded rant criticizing fans who left early by saying "Fuck Em all" and saying how "they can kiss my ass out the fucking door cuz the day is fucking coming now." Speculation is Bo thought he had the Ohio State job. Oops!
And now they certainly know in 2013 when in his last game as Nebraska Head Football Coach, Pelini swung his hat at an official, called the subsequent penalty a "chicken shit call" and told his boss, Athletic Director Shawn Eichorst "if they wanna fire me, fire me". Oh yeah, and he lost 38-17 to Iowa in Lincoln, and event so rare it hasn't happened since 1943.
We don't have much here in Nebraska as far as sports go. We are a polite people who applaud the other team and scream for our own team. We do not need a knuckle dragging neanderthal with the social graces of a Visigoth being the face of this football program.
Well Bo, you will get your wish soon enough. The day has fucking come when you go out the fucking door. The only wish you are not about to get is anybody here kissing your ass as you go out the fucking door.
P.S. Apparently there isn't anything you can do to get fired around here as NU's puppet athletic director, under orders from Tom Osborne, has decided to allow a raving lunatic to continue being the face of Nebraska football. Nice.
P.P.S. Bo Pelini "apologized" for his childish behavior for the umpteenth time. So I guess it's all OK now. The collective black eye this state gets everytime Bo decides to hit us will heal. I knew he loved us and only hits us cuz he loves us. Nebraska, the world's biggest abused codependent. Nice.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
I don't watch Family Guy. Something about waiting an entire half hour waiting for the one joke that actually makes me so utterly ashamed to have laughed just isn't worth it.
But if I hear one more wacky morning Dee jay or some dimwit lamenting the death of a cartoon dog and wanting people to sign a petition to save him, I am going to run out on front of a car myself.
Hey everybody, IT IS A FUCKING CARTOON. It has a talking baby with an English accent and a time machine. It has a fat guy so stupid he makes James Sensenbrenner (Family Guy-Wi) look smart AND skinny.
Family Guy, the show that simply takes every joke told on The Simpsons ever and pushes it over the edge, is the kind of show that appeals to the terminally hip. You know that "hip" guy. The guy who finds network television not edgy enough, the guy who watches Game of Thrones for the boobies, the guy who poo poos the Simpsons for being stale, yet finds the same jokes beaten over his head by a different dumb fat guy hilarious. The guy who rooted for Walter White and Vic Mackie was actually sad when Clay died in Sons of Anarchy. Oh yeah, he watches Sons of Anarchy too.
Once again, it's a goddamned cartoon! That stupid dog could be back next week you idiots. Chrissakes, the geniuses at South Park have been killing off a major character every week for years.
Family Guy is ANYTHING but hip.
Friday, November 22, 2013
I was in second grade at Christ the King in Omaha,Ne. Sometime around 1 pm, Miss Wegner went outside the classroom and re-entered in tears. She told us the President had been shot and we could go home. I don't remember what I felt. I do remember two pictures in the classroom, Pope Paul VI and John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
I don't remember the walk home (yeah we walked home in those days). I do remember my mother crying when I got home. What the heck? My mom never cried. What happened?
I don't remember much after that. I do remember the funeral and watching it on the black and white TV. Once again, Mom was crying. Everything changed for me after that. It changed for everyone.
And that's all I have to say about that.
What a sad day. Mad Dog Vachon passed away in his sleep yesterday. If you have no idea who Mad Dog Vachon is, congratulations, your childhood IQ was intact. However, mine was heavily damaged by the chicanery of old school professional wrestling, AWA Style. Mad Dog Vachon was one who never failed to stir up the old "hey he can't do that it's against the rules" natural reaction kids have, and sadly some adults, to some guy acting like a loon and beating another guy with a "foreign object" he pulled from his trunks. Katie bar the door!!!!
Mad Dog Vachon was 84. He had one leg since some drunk ran him over back in the 80's.
The story was that back in 1996 in Omaha, the new type of wrestling, full of hopheads and drug addicts who will all die at 40, came to town and Mad Dog was sitting ringside. Some guy named Diesel came out of the stands, dragged Mad Dog into the ring and began to beat him with his prosthetic leg. Damn, I wish I wouldn't have been an adult then because of course I wasn't there. That would have been cool.
I know of a guy whose young son saw Mad Dog at the South Omaha Hy Vee once and said hey Dad, is that Mad Dog Vachon? When told yes, the young boy approached Vachon, said Hi and Mad Dog IMMEDIATELY launched into character thrilling that kid for the rest of his life. Damn, I wish I wasn't an adult because that would have been cool too.
Mad Dog Vachon. Just thinking about him makes me a kid again. Thanks.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Go fuck yourself, Mitch McConnell. You screwed around too goddamned long with even this wuss of a Senate. And you got nuked. So stick that in your turtle shell and chew on it for awhile. Yeah yeah yeah, the Dems will rue the day they told you to stick your filibustering bullshit up your poopchute but for now, get ready for a shitload of liberal judges to fuck up your quest to turn America into corporate controlled Jesus Land.
Nobody feels sorry for your loss, Mitch. Just the chronic Black Guy in the White House crowd you suck off on a regular basis. Blocking hundreds of bills and appointments by filling out a piece of paper telling everybody you are filibustering is over. Chrissakes, at least that scumbucket Ted Cruz (Hoser-Tx) had the balls to yak and yak about nothing for 21 hours and that fake optometrist Rand Paul (Copycat-Ky)carried on about drones for a long period of time. You and the rest of your Republican fucksticks didn't have the energy or intelligence to even stand there and read The Fountainhead for the time you were filibustering some guy or gal you wanted to keep off the courts so your neanderthal snake handlers could keep upholding bills to harass women and minorities.
I don't give a shit that at some point if the Republicans get 51 Senators they will do the same thing. Of course they will. These grifters and hucksters aren't about to play by the rules. Never would, never will. This current band of rubes and thieves that make up the Republican Senate are hell bent on destroying Nobama in some sort of perverted hope that white people will all start having 15 kids and restore the republic to what the Founding Fathers had in mind. White Malekastan.
Gotta give it up to the old pugilist, Harry Reid. I guess even the punching bag gets sick of being hit by 98 pound weaklings like that Kentucky shitstain Mitch McConnell. Way to punch back. Finally.
Now maybe I can realize my dream of Bill Ayres getting a judicial seat and making that fucking Sarah Palin's head explode.
I just sobered up. What did I say?