Monday, July 25, 2016

Democrats Go Republican!


Jesus do the Democrats know how to fuck up a slam dunk or what? Instead of brushin past a out of shape slow trash talker with no game and slamming it home, they decide to go in for a 360 and fucking miss.

What the hell is going on with this campaign? On the one hand you have a party of bigots and dummies nominating a TV show clown who shoots off his yap on a daily basis, a man who claims he could kill somebody and not be hurt by it in the polls, a man who mocks the disabled, a man who has a disdain for all women other than his daughter, a man who is so vulgar and thin skinned he cannot stop himself from carrying on grudges against perceived slights even after the issue is long gone. This is the Republican nominee. Christ, the ghost of George McGovern running with the ghost of Barry Goldwater could send this creep back to his giant pleasure palace holding his tiny tail between his tiny fingers.

Oh but not the party of Hillary Clinton and Debbie Wasserman Schultz. These two also cant help themselves. One of them is a woman of great abilities who chooses to pander and lie and become totally unlikable everytime she opens her mouth. She doesnt realize her great gift she has been given. An opponent who by just conversing ruins his chances every day. Yet, this strategy is not an option. Because she has to start talking also and remind everyone the she too is a candidate and the vulgarness that is Trump becomes the phoniness that is Hillary.

Now I admit to still being a Bernie Sanders shill. I've said since the start of this long ass campaign. This party of mine, one of which I believe in because of people like Bernie Sanders or Walter Mondale or FDR, has been hijacked by a cult of Hillary supporters who make no bones and spare no opportunity to rig this system against their chosen messiah. And it quite frankly still pisses me off. Oh yeah I know she got 3 million more votes than he did and blah blah blah. I hear that from my sell out son every freakin day. But from Day One, this has been a coronation and not an election. Like the Republicans USED to be, it's her turn so shut up and fall into line you Sanders hippies. Nope. I believe in what I believe in and its not pandering to banks and Wall Street and being a get tough Scoop Jackson military hack. Scoop Jackson? Wow, I am old. Look it up kids.

Bernie Sanders got fucked over from the get go. When I sat in a school auditorium that cold February day participating in the Nebraska caucus with Bernie Sanders supporters, many of whom sat on the floor, stood against the wall, stood in the aisles and sat on each others laps while Hillary supporters barely filled up a section, and saw the system rigged right in front of my eyes I knew uh oh, this is going to be tough. With a caucus chairman who continually called him "Bernie Saunders" and a constant barrage of pro Hillary rulings it became apparent my party was not going to take Sanders people seriously. Finally when some announcement came that Hillary had 226 write in mailed in ballots and Sanders had 25 or whatever I was finished. Fuck this. You let people MAIL IN ballots and not bother to get off their ass and show up? Or was there some person in the back furiously writing in ballots?

Well we now know that suspicious behavior means theres smoke. Because of this:

"It might may no difference, but for KY and WVA can we get someone to ask his belief. Does he believe in a God. He had skated on saying he has a Jewish heritage. I think I read he is an atheist. This could make several points difference with my peeps. My Southern Baptist peeps would draw a big difference between a Jew and an atheist."

Hey ref, I think you're a biased paid off hack. Referees are supposed t run a fair game. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is the 1919 Black Sox. Paid off, or so consumed by her Hillary worship, she cant see the forest for the trees. Now rated, she did not write that e mail, but as with Saint Reagan of Hollywood, the fish rots from the head. DWS is that head. Yes, she's gone, completely oblivious to what she did or said. Gee, who does that sound like?

As we go into Day One of the DNC, I shudder at what is to come. I look forward to what Bernie Sanders has to say. I know how tempting it would be to do a Ted Cruz and say fuck this. But Sanders isnt Cruz and as much as part of me would like that, the brain says no Bernie. Trump is a Russian controlled megalomaniac who cannot be allowed to even enter the White House much less live there. Look, we got jobbed by Hillary and her court. She is a terrible candidate. She almost got beat by a 74 year old man with crazy hair. But shes's all we have to stop a fascist takeover of America.

So for this week, I openly screech at the Hillary and her hacks. But come next week, I hold my nose for awhile, then by September she doesnt look so bad. Because the alternative is unacceptable and dangerous.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

KISS & Boston!!!


It's not often in a span of 48 hours, at least here in flyover country, you get to see 4 rock and roll hall of famers perform, wait, what? Only one of these bands is in and that was because they kicked the door down and demanded admission? And they quite frankly, suck?

Wow. On Wednesday evening three bands came to town, not one in the Hall Of Fame I guess, to rock out a crowd of broken down old people like me.

Boston was in town on its 40th anniversary tour. Yep, it was that long ago we first heard that unique guitar sound of More Than A Feeling blast out of the car radio and went, what the fuck was that? Then you ran to Musicland to buy that album. And you couldnt stop listening to it. Now its 40 effin years later and it still holds a place in your head and it aint going away.

First came Hall of Famers, Foghat, uhhh no? Foghat is a mere shell of it's former self with only one original member, Roger Earl, and he's a drummer for chrissakes. No I kid drummers because I love drummers. I really do. Opening with the best Foghat song, Fool For The City, it was bound to go downhill from there. But it was fine. Foghat, in effect a tribute band, played its blues oriented set for about 40 minutes, ending with Slow Ride, the only song I ever could play on Guitar Hero.

Second billed was Hall of Famers, Blue Oyster Cult, uhhh no? Now I saw BOC quite a few times back in the 70's at the old Pershing Auditorium and they were both the LOUDEST and most diminutive band Ive ever seen. My ears would be ringing for days after seeing them blast my ears with 3 or 4 guitars. Secret Treaties remains a fucking great album that nobody knows. BOC is older, still short, and not as loud as I remember but still relatively intact with both Eric Bloom and Buck Dharma still around. BOC rocked the Baxter Arena for about 40 minutes and had me standing and throwing my fist in the air when they launched into ME 262, a song only me and the guy in front of me knew. How do I know that? Cuz we both rose and said at the same time "yeah ME262" and then fist bumped.It was truly the best kind of senior moment. And Dont Fear The Reaper had no cowbell and it was still freakin great.

Then came the headliner, Hall of Famers, Boston. Uhhh, no again? That Hall of Fame sucks.

Boston has always been the one band in my Top 10 of all time I cant figure out. They are so utterly unique sounding and Tom Scholz is such a genius yet I had never seen them. Ever. I have no idea why. It just didnt happen. Opening with a guitar fueled Star Spangled Banner (damn I have to stand and remove my hat) they then launched into Rock and Roll Band and I was in heaven. I cant stress enough how good they still are even though original lead singer Brad Delp killed himself in a bizarre charcoal grill accident. So many great tunes, played with precision, including a pipe organ with steam pouring out of it as Smokin continues. I loved every second of it.

Then came Friday. KISS, Hall of Famers? Yes. Whew finally. Wait, KISS is in the Hall of Fame? WTF!!!

Anyway Ive never seen KISS before either. Mostly because I hate KISS. But how can I hate something Ive never seen? So we decided to go to Lincoln to see KISS. Hey, I got a Groupon for an $86 dollar seat for $22. Why not?

Caleb Johnson, American Idol winner, opened the show. I expected nothing. What I got was a great singer. Caleb Johnson, who looks like a cross between Jack Black and Sam Kinison, pranced around the stage for a good 45 minutes singing original tunes and a fantastic cover of Gimme Shelter. When you expect nuthin and you get something its already a great night.

Then came KISS. Again, nuthin expected. But I got a great show. Oh yeah the music is insipid, the lyrics juvenile, but the show is eye popping. Pyrotechnics galore. A show so planned, probably down to the exact second at all times, that even what are perceived as sweet moments, like when Paul Stanley played guitar with his arms wrapped around a star struck little kid, seemed choreographed. Nonetheless, the show is what it is. KISS hits, songs we all know due to osmosis, played well and with great fanfare. Hey, it aint my cup of tea, but it was a fantastic show. It was well worth the $50 or so. And it got me away from that fucking Trump for a night.

Highlights---

KISS played I Love It Loud.

Boston played Higher Power.

BOC played ME262.

Lowlights--

KISS did not play Strutter.

KISS did play Beth. Ugh.

Thanks (fill in the blank) you're the best crowd yet.

Finally, to sum up, I'd go see Boston, BOC and Foghat again tomorrow. I doubt I'd go see KISS again. But I'm glad I saw both in 48 hours during a week of fascism and fear. Music frees my soul.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Il Douche!


As I wake this morning from my slab in a tent and get a drink of filthy water from a mudhole before I squat in the road with my hand out while flies buzz my head, oh wait, this isnt the way America is? Chrissakes, the reality show clown sure made it sound that way last night as he made White Republican America shudder in fear and hold up the ropes for the fourth day in a row.

But I get ahead of myself here cuz there were so many other speakers that took to the stage to make asses of themselves and participate in the coming misogyny of Hillary Hate.

Jerry Falwell Junior proved to just as big an asshole as his dead fucking father. Something about an alleged Reverend hollering about gun rights bugs me. Along with everything else this fuckstick says.

Sheriff Joe? Fuck this, I'm going to get a taco.

Fran Tarkenton? How low can this go? Where the fuck is former Bears quarterback Jack Concannon? My only response to the moldy sports metaphors is tell Fran to scramble off the stage before another giant black man sacks you.

Representative Marsha Blackburn (Box of Rocks-Tn) is up and speaking about how her 401K went down in the last 8 years. What the hell did her financial adviser invest her in? Eastern Airlines and Enron?

Governor Mary Fallin (Fetus Humper-Ok) is up and smiling a lot. She's hitting hard on the lynch mobs faves. Military good. Hillary the devil. Immigrants bad. Borders good. She has the weirdest face with a creepy smile and out of whack eyes. All the better to watch a death row inmate struggle to breathe for 43 minutes after a botched execution. This is a real rogues gallery so far. Lucifer herself would reject them.

There's an eye doctor speaking? Good lord, this is getting sad. Hey, my eye doctor is a nice lady, why not let her speak? Oh, the nice lady part disqualifies her.

Reince Priebus? Shit, I see enough of these boring ass white guys holding meetings everyday at work. No chance, I'm switching to a Triple A baseball game.

I switch back over and some guy who looks like he's whacked out on high end cocaine. Oh its billionaire whatever Peter Thiel, the guy who decided that Hulk Hogan, clown boy rassler, was so harmed by a sex tape nobody in their right mind would want to watch, he sued Gawker into oblivion. Even thought I still see Gawker is up and running. Take that bruthaaaaaaaa. Thiel then announces he's proud to be gay and cheers erupt from the lynch mob proving once and for all that money trumps anything to these idiots. Or they are so out of it they still think gay means joyful. After all, these people still think "Fruitcake" "twinkle toes" and "pansy" say it all about some dude's swishiness.

Thiel speaks about something blah blah, the economy sucks, but the one question remains as this ultra rich poof drones on? Dude, have you READ the Republican platform?

More bad dancing from out of tune lynch mob chicks. Back to the baseball game. The Las Vegas 51's (great name) are winning by the way.

Then comes out the First daughter to Be. Ivanka Trump, who, like her dumbfuck brother, basically sits to the left of her father on the reality show that spawned this nightmare as he "fires" people and nods but is allowed to ask a question now and then becaue she can actually put an entire sentence together competently. Ivanka is talking about some guy who likes blue collar bricklayers and is a really nice man. I have no idea who this man is. She also favors cheap child care, maternity and paternity leave, and equal pay which her father provides. As long as the woman drps to her knees or lets him pat her on the ass. I think Ivanka gets in the booth in November and votes for "HER".

And then.......out come Mussolini Von Trump. Strutting, pointing, calling for martial law on day one (how else does he stop crime by himself?), bringing a darkness over the country, lying about crime, telling half truths about particular crimes, generally making this one big fucking downer. The U S A U S A chant that Mussolni Von Trump participates in makes him sound much like one Homer J Simpson. Dohhhhhhhhhhh!

I wont go into specifics cuz Trump is just doing what Trump does. Bloviate and offer solutions that only the dumbest fuckers on earth can believe. Like that lynch mob dressed in red white and blue yet somehow tacky as hell. Mussolini Von Trump is the lowest common denominator we deserve.

Lets just hope this nation sends this clown back under the rock he came down the escalator from. Gawd, America, what the fuck?

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Cruz Control!


Ok to be truthful, I didnt watch any of it.

But I guess Ted Cruz (R-Canada) refused to endorse the Clown, went on 15 minutes over his time, in effect endorsed Hillary, and got booed by the lynch mob masquerading as delegates.

I now admire Ted Cruz (Devil-Cuba) , in the same way I admire Lori Petty in Orange is the New Black. They are both crazy, but both dont back down on their craziness. And they dont take shit from insulting clowns with the brains of a 5 year old.

Ted Cruz (Squidward-Tx) found it impossible to back down to this hay haired maniac. The man who insulted his wife, his father and his manhood was not be bargained with. So Ted Cruz went all in with the bet that the Reality Show Phony would lose big in November. This opens the party up to Terrible Ted.

Oh never mind the lynch mob booing Ted Cruz (Poker Face-Tx), it means zilch. No matter the talk of him destroying his career. Dont mind the Dumbfuck comments of The Quitta From Wasilla. It means nothing.

These same idiots booing tonite will be cheering Ted 2 in four years because they dont care about anything but now. And now is a jackbooted turd from Queens with a foul mouth and a ten cent brain. 4 years from now will be the time for a foreign born nose licker with a message even worse than Trumps.

By the way, my admiration for Cruz only goes so long. Until..............now. Fuck Ted Cruz.....in 2020.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Day Two!


Night 2 of Nuremberg on Erie.

The weirdest moment may have been Paul Ryan (Hypocrite-Wi) standing onstage during a break talking to some black dude in a cowboy hat while the wedding band played Shake Your Booty as old white delegates again shook their arms and moved their hips without moving their feet. The networks were captivated by Ryan's throwing his arms around and laughing at virtually everything black guy in cowboy hat said. Or maybe a black guy in a cowboy hat just amuses him as much as it does me.

Bald headed jackhammer Dana White, who runs some legalized version of assault and battery, hollered something about everyone asking what the hell is he doing there? Or better yet, who the hell ARE you?

Some NRA guy, a true terrorist, loudly claims that the National Child Murder and Kill The Queers Rifle Association is the "oldest civil rights organization" in America. Hey, fuck off, you suit and tied psychopathic jihadist. Go fuck your gun again you immoral hump.

Uh oh, its gone from being laugh your ass off funny to me getting angry again. Goddamit.

Governor Chris Christie (Bridge Closer-NJ), see I can show respect for a fat prick, gave the speech of the night. As unhinged as it may have become by the endless chanting of the lynch mob in attendance, Christie laid out a perfectly sane case for throwin Hillary into fake prison. Unfortunately all those dim witted drunks in attendance heard was "Hillary" and "guilty or not guilty" so of course they threw out the guilty and looked for a minority to hang just like in the good old days. Now Christie's "case" was flawed and ridiculous, at least it was based somewhat in reality and not yeah uhhhhhhhhhh throw her in prison cuz like uhhhhhhhh Hannity said it.

Another Trump took the stage. Tiffany Trump, ya know the one who had great legs as a baby but not sure about the uh uh (put hands in front of chest). Tiffany Trump, who nobody knew existed until she was needed for Trump's con game. Tiffany Trump may be a nice gal, a great person, but for chrissakes her face is so distracting with that Trump mouth and that Maples head. I have no idea what she said.

Then came the biggest asshole in the Trump family, and that is saying something. It's exotic animal murderer Donnie Trump Junior. Donnie, whose business experience is mostly limited to shaking his head in a yes manner after his reality show clown father "fires" someone, came out to much hoopla. What was shocking is that Donnie seems to have inherited his father tiny body parts. In the Clown's case its his tiny little fingers, in Donnie's case its his tiny little head. Donnie proceeded to rip elitism and private schools, in a sense ripping his own privileged life. Donnie Junior, so tin eared he has no problem posing with dead animals he has just murdered, is the epitome' of the trust fund baby. No talent, no morality, no scruples and no brains. I hope to god an elephant stomps this prick someday.

Finally it was Sleepy Time. No I didnt go to sleep like I should have, it was time for Doctor Ben Carson, again proving operating on your own noggin is not a good idea. Carson, perhaps low dosed on Ambien, and probably with marching orders from Sarah Palin, brought up the name Saul Alinsky. Now nobody and I mean nobody on that floor knows who Saul Alinsky was but they do know Queen Sarah says it regularly so it must be a bad name. Seems Hillary once met Saul Alinsky and wrote a thesis on him and Saul Alinsky once quoted Lucifer in the foreword of one of his books so therefore, Hillary likes Lucifer. And that means Hillary wants to take God off the money and has a red tail and horns and Doctor Ben is batshit crazy when he's tired. Which is always.

Day Two prompts one question. Since the theme was Make America Work Again, where was the economic talk? Unemployment half of what it was 8 years ago, Dow Jones 2 1/2 times higher than 8 years ago. Hmmmmm..........Bennnnnnnnnnnnnnn ghaaaaaaaaaaaa zeeeeeeeeee!

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Day One!


Day one of Nuremberg on the Erie.

A mother of a man killed at Benghazi, cuz Hillary Clinton didn't become Wonder Woman or something, spoke to a crowd of meat grinding ignoramuses about how pissed off she was. Still. Ok, maam, I get it, you are angry your son died at Benghazi and you must blame someone. But to be used by a convention full of C list celebrities, a lynch mob of creeps who want Hillary hanged or shot or I guess "locked Up", is not becoming you. Seriously, maam, I feel your grief, I really do, but your "savior" doesnt give jack shit about your son or you. He proved it by phoning in to Fox News in the middle of your speech. What a waste of grieving energy.

A band of white guys played Motown hits all night long in between speakers and delegates danced and it was embarrassing. You may entertain the folks down at the club showing how hip you are waving your arms to I'll Be There, but on national TV, you just make yourselves look like privileged jackoffs.

A roll call was almost forced by the semblance of sane Republicans in the hall who know that their presumptive nominee is an amateur proto-fascist unfit to serve as a public servat anywhere in the world. It failed, barely, but it failed.

Two guys who survived Benghazi, who looked like the dictionary definition of gun humpers, spoke as one and made a tampon joke. A sign of things to come.

A former kiddie star, Chachi, spoke on making America America again (translation-white), and spent a good portion of his time defending his reference to Hillary as a cunt was justified.

A sheriff from Milwaukee, a black man, defended the killing of an unarmed handcuffed black man, and the lynch mob cheered.

A former lieutenant general, who Obummer shitcanned for advocating invading Syria and Iran, could not stop recognizing people yelling at him, like a bad stand up comic. He also led a cheer of "Lock Her Up" like a overactive teenaged cheerleader. Lock Her Up? For what?

And then, Melania. Introduced by a reality show clown emerging from a fog to an overused Queen song (bet they were thrilled) like some WWE phony, Melania walked out, scared shitless, and did the air kiss thing with the man she has to endure. She then proceeded to Eva Gabor her way thru a speech that sounded vaguely familiar. And of course it was. The people who hate everything Obama, who call Michelle "Moochelle" or worse, cheered Melania's words like they were hearing Slovenia Jesus.

I dont care about Melania Trump. She did what she had to do. And it was fine. At least she spoke about things positive. No "lock her up" or calling Hillary a cunt, or saying the word Bennnnnnnn ghaaaaaa zeeeee. Melania Trump took shit because her clown husband made her take shit. So lay off.

But the moment of Monday took place off stage when Representative Steve King (White Supremacist-Ia) decided to give us his anthropological views on World History. Basically saying white people number one, other sub groups are sub-human, King destroyed himself in every sense of the word, except in the district of Iowa that the knuckle draggers dominate. King showed what most of those old white people dancing to Just My Imagination on the floor of that arena believe. White people are oppressed, white people are smarter than others, white people are nicer, white people invent stuff, white people are the movers and shakers, and white people keep order.

Steve King is wrong of course. To believe the white is right argument, you have to believe Steve King is genetically superior. Watch that interview. Steve King is living proof that just aint so. Now back to waving my arms to I Heard It Thru The Grapevine, written and performed by WHO????

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Baton Rouge!


I would not like to be a police officer today. I'd feel hunted, hated and a target of every mentally ill gun humper in the country. Baton Rouge Police felt this today as another loser with access to a gun decided to go from Kansas City to Baton Rouge on his birthday to target cops because the voices in his head told him to. Yeah, it wasn't Obama, or Trump, or Baton Rouge police or St Paul cops or Dallas cops or Dallas crazies or Alton Sterling or anybody. It was his own mental illness that told him to do this. No politician has that power. Let's get that fucking straight right now.

But politicians do have the power to fund mental illness hospitals and centers to help get this threat off the streets. But, as usual, these pricks do nothing. In fact they do nothing to the point that even selling guns to mentally ill time bombs is ok with them cuz of freedom.

Yes, I'd hate to be a police officer today or tomorrow. But ya know what else?

I'd hate to be poor, black and powerless today or tomorrow also. Stay inside. Cuz cops trigger fingers are itchy, itchier than usual. And the poor and the black are a target also.

Today, The President had to step up to a microphone for the 16th time in his 7 1/2 years to address a mass shooting in this country. Man, he just HAS to be sick of it. So sick of it he cant wait to get the fuck out and throw his hands in the direction of the Capitol, the den of do nothingism full of some of worst human beings on the planet Earth. Leave it to Hillary. Let her deal with the weekly death toll. While Congress does absolutely nothing. Look, I know that guns are never going away and as far as Congress is concerned if you got the money honey and openly state your intent to kill cops or gays or women or whatever, you get that firearm free and clear in 10 minutes tops. This HAS to stop for fucks sake.

The next week will be tough. The rhetoric that will come from those vipers in Cleveland is going to be puke inducing. But still, it's coming, Hell, Trump has already blamed Obama. I can only imagine what bottom dwellers like Steve King (Dumbfuck-Ia) or Ted Cruz (Nose Licker-Canada) are going to spew. I shiver.

The people who dont get what Black Lives Matter means will be out in force with their clueless All Lives Matter bullshit. And the Black Lives Matter people who also dont get what it means will be out in force also.

Stay away from Cleveland.

But look at that man up there . A policeman that a mentally ill man with a gun took away from a lot of people today. That man had a right to live, a right to make a living, a right to be safe. As did Alton Sterling and Eric Garner and scores of others.

Calm down America. You want to blame someone for this? Look at your fucking congress critter. And anyone else with the power to do something yet choose to do nothing. These are the ones to blame, Not each other.