Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Huh?


What more can be said? As I speak the reality show host is onstage claiming unemployment is 42%. Coincidentally 42 is also the average IQ of his supporters.

What the fuck?

Monday, February 8, 2016

Another Stupor Bowl!


Can Newton is a poor sport. He's a baby, a sore loser, a dancing fool. and a crybaby. Did you see him get up and leave the press conference after the game? Geez, he wouldn't even answer the stupid fucking questions of a pack of jackals living off expense accounts and being half drunk. Wow, that Cam Newton is sure a bastard.

Then we have Peyton Manning, the golden boy, the wily old veteran ready to go out on top. What a class act. Peyton has been nothing but classy throughout his illustrious career despite sounding like a cross between Huckleberry Hound and Forrest Gump. Peyton won the Super Bowl in probably his last at bat. Oh celebrate America, the All American boy has gone out on top.

All of this is of course 100% unadulterated bullshit.

Peyton Manning went out like the whore he is. Kissing a right wing drunk named Papa John and then shilling for a brand of horse piss that comes straight from the urinary system of a Clydesdale. Manning, instead of enjoying his moment of glory thanks to the Denver defense, decided to come off as a pitchman and a flipping carnival barker. I am surprised he didn't sing that fucking Nationwide jingle "Nationwide is your best defense" while accepting that trophy. Yep, he's your hero, America. Just don't tell the truth about him, or he'll send his goons after you.

Hey, I have no skin in this game, I hate both of these teams. Denver Broncos fans are piss bomb throwing baboons who enrich the husband of a plastic faced woman who has no idea what football even is. Carolina Panthers fans all look like some mullet wearing bounty hunter swilling shine out of a mason jar. So I really couldn't have cared less who won that overblown shitfest. The highlight of my Super Bowl day was watching a 30 for 30 about the greatest team ever, the 1985 Chicago Bears, being appalled by a puppymonkeybaby, or pumping my fist for Beyonce's tribute to the Carolina Black Panthers. So that boring ass game didn't matter to me.

However, the different reactions to Cam Newton's hissy fit and Peyton Manning's whoring drive me crazy. What possibly could be the difference between an angry young quarterback and a 39 year old ho? Hmmmmm, I wonder.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Rubio Blows A Gasket!


The Republican hierarchy, stunned by the popularity of a loudmouthed reality show host who says out loud what they say in private, and by the win in Iowa by a slimy Canadian nobody likes, panicked early to jump and thrust forward a candidate clearly not ready for the limelight. A Senator from Florida with a shady story and a thirst for well, water. Marco Rubio, a young looking dope who will clearly win over the classy Republicans and put that Republican trailer trash back in their place. Rubio, baby! He's the man who will carry them to a crushing defeat in November but, like Romney before him, will lose and look good at it. Not like those other two lumps, who will go down hollering like louts and embarrass the entire party.

This is the Republican way. Cater to the unwashed morons, solidify their votes, and then move on with a guy comfortable at the cigar bar and at the cocktail parties. Rubio is all they have. Cute, young, somewhat articulate, and not somebody who calls everyone else a loooozer or repels his own family.

Only one problem. Rubio is not only a dope, he's also a wimp. Faced with a bully named Chris, Rubio attempted to fend off the bullies taunts with a canned speech so utterly devoid of logic you'd have thought it was written in 1967 by Jerry Garcia. Rubio not only cowered in the corner as Chris attacked, he damn near started crying. In fact his head almost exploded, like a motherboard in his head went out. You could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears. In fact, he'd have been better off to tell Chris to bite his shiny metal ass. But he didn't. Back to the anti-Obama America is great bullshit over and over while Chris called him out on it.

Rubio may actually still win the nomination of this pathetic party, because quite frankly, they have nothing else. But Rubio, when faced with experience and confidence, will fold. Drink a lot of bottled water, but fold.

Jesus, Republicans. I used to think that Kasich was your only hope. But now I'm throwing in the aforementioned bully into the mix. Not the reality show host, who pays people to bully for him, but the guy from Jersey. For chrissakes, if a guy who gets into bumfights with teachers, and closes bridges just to be a prick, takes down your guy that fucking easy what have you got?

Rubio-bot. 2016! Is it too late to get Romney back in this thing?

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Round One!


Well this is what we have come to, as usual. While 70-80% of the young uns broke for Bernie Sanders on Monday night in Iowa, the Clinton machine brought out the Buicks and the Town Cars and the olds fell into lockstep with the chosen candidate of the establishment and she on by a margin that was razor thin. I guess it depends on the definition of razor thin because whenever you get an actual process to pick the leader of the sort of free world relying on such scientific methods as flipping a fucking coin, you understand it is a flawed process.

Iowa is done and another worthless state takes over the spotlight. New Hampshire. Great. How did this happen? Oh fuck it, its the way it is and the rigged game rolls on.

Hillary Clinton, the chosen one of the Wasserman Schultz's and other Democratic weasels content with talking a good game while quietly accepting the bribesPAC money, after one goddamn caucus, has 362 delegates bought pledged to her though she bafrely won that one caucus. You know that rigged economic system Bernie talks about? Well it isn't half the rigged game the apparent coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton is gearing up to be. 362 "super delegates"? These are the assholes who after you've waited in line for hours to get into a rally to see the President are sitting up front cuz they got let in the back door because they are so super. Hey don't get me wrong, I will be there with the other olds caucusing for Hillary on March 5th here in Nebraska. Oh no I won't, I'll be over with the people who aren't content with the same old shit and fighting for my fellow old guy, Bernie Sanders.

The complicit media, declaring Hillary a winner and content with doing the dirty work of calling Bernie a Bolshevik, moves onward with the story the they want. The woman against the creep. whether he be a creepy Canadian a creepy reality show host, or a creepy thirst dog. While MSNBC shills for Hills and their host of so called libs gladly point out the word "socialist"in all its stupid misinformed glory, Bernie Sanders rolls on in the mile after starting a half mile behind. I'm with ya my man Bernie. Right up to the time I hold my nose and mark the circle next to Hillary Clinton's name in November because the alternative is pure unadulterated evil.

On the other side, the Republicans just get worse and worse. The evangelical trolls who dominate Iowa Republican caucuses decided the reality show host wasn't quite as bad as the weirdo from Calgary, Rafael Tedward Cruz, the man everyone hates. The Dr Seuss quoting bomb thrower who sounds like a cross between Peter Lorre and that slithering Wisconsin lawyer, Ken Kratz, is so utterly bad that Iowa Republicans stuck a giant rod up his ass and destroyed his chances because thats what Iowa Republicans do. Pick losers.

76% of Iowa Republicans said fuck you to the reality show host and 77% said fuck you to the lapping Chihuahua Marco Rubio. Hell, 72% said fuck you to that blood sucking Canadian.

So what can be made of all this Iowa nonsense?

As usual, nothing.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Iowa Where The Tall Corn Pollutes!


Per CNN, it's 47 hours to Iowa caucus time when a small state of white people take the rest of us hostage by walking over to their local school and standing in a room and arguing. The Republican caucus goers will inevitably pick the worst candidate possible because most of them are crazy religious kooks who think crazy things like the earth is flat, ethanol is good, Jesus exists, and Obama is a liberal Democrat. Hell, this bunch has such a historical losing streak, Trump the clown had better hope Vampire Cruz wins because the winner here will not win the nomination. Remember the infamous 1988 Pat Robertson "win" or if you're not old like me, remember way back to 2012 when either Huckabee or Santorum "won"? These people couldn't the winner of a Michele Bachmann- Neil DeGrasse Tyson IQ off.

Iowa gets its ass kissed every four years and have come to expect it. I know, I've lived there during caucus time and these people actually believe they matter. They don't, of course, but you'd never know it the way the media, trying so hard to fill a 24/7 news cycle, follows some guy in a Hawkeye sweatshirt around asking him constantly if his vote for some Republican nimrod has changed in the last 20 minutes. Most people would be annoyed by this. Iowa person loves it. I matter! People care what I think! My uninformed defense of Ted Cruz or Donald Trump or that cute Mexican white guy, Marco Rube passes for political genius. Thanks for asking me, liberal media guy, I hate you at rallies but ask me something and I'm all yours.

On the Democratic side, it isn't as bad. The Iowa Democrats, though still very much Iowa guy, seem to have a bit of sense and historical perspective. They don't vote for far left wing dude, even though none actually exist, they tend to vote for the one with more energy and fun. They did launch Obama in 2008. They launched Kerrey in 2004. When faced with the choice between sleepy and sleepier in 2000 they went with sleepy, you figure which was Al Gore and which was Bill Bradley. That caucus must have been like arguing with Ben Carson. Geezus, why bother, I hear Casey's has a special on pizza. This year, the Bernie crowd is ready. Hillary bet hope the snowstorm is late, cuz her backers won't be able to get the Buick out of the barn. Bernie's folks will walk through blizzards uphill both ways to call Hillary a corporate stooge.

Iowa will be over in two days and then the rest of us can ignore its pork obsession, it's provincialism, and it's welfare state for corn farmers making environmentally destructive ethanol.

So Iowa Republicans, vote Cruz. Iowa Democrats, vote Bernie.

Enjoy your every four year butt kissing, Iowa. It's soon over. And you can go back to doing whatever it is you do. No no, I'm not going to ask. You may actually tell me.

Paul Kantner!


They are going so damn fast. Paul Kantner died this week at age 74. The brains behind the Jefferson Airplane, the psychedelic rock, the guy who put out entire albums about the deteriorating political scene is gone. And we are worse off for it.

The Jefferson Airplane was born out of counter culture breaking free in San Francisco in the mid 60s. The Airplane, once the power joined in one Grace Slick, did break free and hit the national scene. Along with Marty Balin and Jack Casady and Jorma Kaukonen and a slew of Spinal Tap like drummers (why is it always the drummers who get fucked over) Kantner and the Airplane became headliners. The hits, of course, were the driving force, but Kantner was seemingly putting up with the hits to play his own spacy music. You could tell the Kantner songs a mile away. He sang rarely but when he did it was just attention getting. Slicks power voice and Balin's soft crooner voice were fine, but Kantner was the guy I wanted to hear on the albums.

I never saw the Airplane, but after the internal feuding took over and Kantner went forward with Grace to form Jefferson Starship, I saw them numerous times. It was just as spacey as ever when Kantner would launch into anything other than the hits. Have You Seen The Saucers, Ride The Tiger, and that entire album I would become obsessed with back in 1975, Blows Against The Empire. God I loved that album. Even though by the time I was into it it was already 4 or 5 years old, it blew my mind. The whole concept was just fascinating and the list of musicians was like a who's who of San Francisco treats. The Dead, David Freiberg, David Crosby, Graham Nash, god that was a cool time.

But Paul is gone now. The space has him and he knows the truth.

Who can forget Paul at Altamont sarcastically thanking the Hells Angels for punching Marty Balin?

Another one gone. Damn.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Warning To Hillary!



As an aging baby boomer ,I am a sucker for ads like this. Maybe its because it's such a contrast to the vampire like ads put out by that sneering vulture Ted Cruz, or that reality show host and his rambling nonsense, or the idiocy put forth from Cruz Lite, Marco Polo, or the sleepy America sucks turn that the somnambulist Doctor Ben has taken.

Bernie Sanders America ad is hope and change all over again and Hillary had better take it seriously or shes going to get out hustled and out energized like she did in 2008. Sanders supporters have the energy of 2008 Obama foot soldiers and quite frankly the energy of the 1992 Bill Clinton troops who turned old man Bush into a man who looked like he'd rather be speed boating at Kennebunkport than running the country into a pothole.

Iowa is all about energy. Not the energy of fear mongering religious evangelicals who turn out to give the Republican caucus winner the kiss of death, but the young people who walk the streets door to door for candidates like Bernie Sanders and Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and Gary Hart and Jimmy Carter and George McGovern because their idealism hasn't been crushed. Sanders has a movement going. I saw it in 2008 when at a caucus the Hillary supporters were old and white and quite frankly, boring. The Obama side of the room was chanting and cheering and getting told by olds like me that this is what Bobby Kennedy's campaign was like. My 84 year old mother abandoned Hillary that day for Obama. She said simply "I like these Obama people better".

And Hillary Clinton had better realize this. Her ads in Iowa are negative towards Bernie. She tears him up for what? I am afraid its because that is what Clintons do. Attack like cornered dogs. And nobody likes a cornered dog. A happy tail wagging dog yes. Maybe she should try it instead of going more towards the Carly Fiorina style of humorless victim type ads.

Don't get me wrong, I would vote for Hillary over any of those fucking Republican assholes. But her way of campaigning got her beat in 2008, and it may get her beat in 2012. I am serious here. This Bernie Sanders thing is catching on. I saw Bernie speak last August and I felt like running out and voting for him right then and there. There wasn't one thing he said I felt anyone with a brain and a heart could disagree with. He is inspiring to say the least. I just love the guy.

Hillary has better get it together and quickly. She is in danger. And she doesn't get it. She is likable as hell on Ellen or Fallon or Colbert or Kimmel, but she is unlikable as hell when she runs a campaign. She is no Bill Clinton, ruthless but lovable. She's simply ruthless.