Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Ungrateful Kaci!!!


Look at those 5 star New Jersey accomodations that left wing Marxist uppity Ebola free nurse twist Kaci Hickox had while in Chris Christie State Prison for People Who Dared Sass Him. Geez, lady, what are you complaining about? There's an election to win coming up and Republicans thrive on fear and bullying tactics and especially fear.

While in the Chris Christie Jail For Chicks Who Need A Good Spankin', Kaci Hickox was not really all that thrilled with the box with a hole in top for her non Ebola bathroom needs. So she said so. A lot. And pissed off a lot of fat Republicans.

So let the trashing of Kaci Hickox begin.

Did ya know she's a registered Demoncrat? Did ya know she's a secret CDC employee? And we all know Obama's CDC will be instrumental in killing off all good Republicans with the Ebola virus since most Republicans are at least 65 years old, sucking up government money, figure something just aint right about that Obummer character and immune system challenged due to their eating Elmers Glue while young children in the one room schoolhouse.

I heard kazoo voiced radio yeller, Laura Ingraham, today yakking about Hickox's Linked In account being scrubbed, her Google cache account has been sanitized and she's just so damned bitchy about being forced into a nice room by that kindly old Doctor Chris. Now, Laura, the odds of anybody who listens to your daily kazoo symphony knowing what the fuck Linked In or Google Cache involves is about the same odds that Endiomologist Expert Chris Christie becomes either President or healthy. Zero.

Science. Bah. Loudmouthed females. Bah. FEMA Camps For Republicans? Oh yeah, that is totally believable. Car Thief Darrell Issa wanting people to throw up on buses full of Ebola. Oh yeah, watch out. Obummer will totally send suicide Ebola thrower uppers onto public transportation.

I fear the stupid virus is becoming more rampant than Ebola. I'd take my chances with Ebola vomit before I'd take my chances with Stupid Vomit.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Kris Kristy Kreme!


Imagine my surprise last Saturday when looking down onto a football field in Lincoln, Nebraska and some fat guy in a Rutgers tent is standing there. Nope it's not Ralph Friedgen, nah certainly it's not Mark Mangino. It took till I got home to figure out that Chris Christie was there humping for billionaire boy Governor to be, Peter Ricketts.

Trust me folks, that picture above is a rogues gallery of dumb. We have a woman dumb enough to marry that guy to her left, the diminutive taxpayer sucking Governor of Nebraska, Dave something or other. Then we have Doctor Chris Christie, and then finally a trust fund baby Nebraskans will soon trust to run their tiny little state just like he runs the Chicago Cubs, Peter Ricketts. You see, Rutgers was playing Nebraska in football on Saturday and what better way for the Scientist that is Chris Christie to come help Ricketts get over that underprivileged hump he has overcome than to pose for pictures with Petey and Heineman and watch a football game involving two Universities that not one of those three pricks have never attended.

I mean I've seen some pieces of shit walk on that field before, Clarence Thomas brought particular joy to me as I screeched "Get that asshole off MY football field" much to the chagrin of my Republican neighbors. Rush Limbaugh descrated holy ground once as I sat speechless thinking somebody will certainly throw something at him, like logic. A Rod, with nothing better to do since he's suspended from baseball hopefully forever, slipped his slimy self onto the field this year and Larry The Cable Guy's down there every freaking week gittin er dun, sometimes with rarely funny comedians. Nah, Larry's harmless, but get the fuck off the field every week. You're wearing out yer welcome Dan.

Anyway back to Infectious Diseases Expert Chris Christie, Republican also ran 2016. Quarantining nurses and leaving the state? That sounds a lot like that Texas nitwit, Rick Perry. But in quarantining a nurse named Kaci Hickox, who put her life on the line helping people less fortunate, Doc Christie has once again showed himself to be the "soverchiare" he is and can't help but be. And after the nurse, Kaci Hickox, didn't bow down and let Chris Christie PHD in Toro Merda bully her, he changed his mind and backed down and let her go back to Maine where that dipshit Governor of theirs will make an ass out of himself again.

Hold on now, Ebola expert Christie did not "reverse himself" by letting the loudmouth broad go back to Maine, he simply heard she was not ill, which he could have heard 5 days ago, and let her go. Presumably in a lead box surrounded by New Joisey state troopers. And some day, kindly Doc Christie said, the disrespectful dame will appreciate his good sense and catering to Fox News viewers with one foot in the grave and shitferbrains.


Saturday, October 25, 2014

Jack Bruce!



Jack Bruce passed away today. Who didn't think it would be Ginger Baker? After all, Clapton's will to live passed on long ago but Bruce kept on humpin it with Robin Trower or whoever he could play with.

Sorry folks, the 2005 Cream reunion is all we will ever get now. Because if Baker and Clapton ever reunite, who gives a shit? Jack Bruce was the voice and the "God" of Cream, not Eric Clapton.

I have covered Cream before by bashing Clapton but I am not going to do it here. This is about Jack Bruce.

Jack Bruce created the guitar riff of Sunshine of Your Love. What more do you need to know? Dun Dun Dun Dun Dunnn Dunnn Dunnn Dunnn Dunnn...........Wow.

Jack Bruce is gone. Forever.

I guess my point is this. Do not put off seeing your heroes because there may not be a next time. I did that with Warren Zevon figuring hey, he's in his 50's, he'll be around forever. I did not do it with Joan Rivers, seeing her a year before she died. Thank goodness.

I have done that with Willie Nelson who is still alive and hopefully will be for a long time. I have done that with Neil Young who just keeps going.

But geez, who knows? Jack Bruce died and nobody knew he was sick.

See them NOW. Your heroes. And throw your family in there while you're at it.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Tawwwwwd!



Holy Moose Shit! John McCain you son of a bitch. This close to the White House? Were you insane?

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Willie Horton? Never Heard Of Him!



I cannot tell you how low the 2nd Congressional District campaign has sunk until you watch the "Willie Horton" ad above. Watching? Watching? Yep it's 1988 all over and Republicans just cannot stop being who they really are.

You see, one of their backbenchers is in trouble. A loyal stormtrooper with a pop gun who does whatever the Republican leadership tells him. Sometimes he votes both sides of an issue at some point so he can placate the racist, homophobic, dumb wingnuts AND the regular just plain greedy GOP'ers.

Lee Terry, oh I know I've ranted about this dork before. He, of the dang straight flub, the joking about dead GM customers at hearings, the promise to serve only 3 terms, the Madonna concert hideout, the fact that he is truly the dork in high school wearing the Boston t shirt trying so hard to look cool. This guy, whose only accomplishment while serving on a City Council of a city of half a million people, was to outlaw "cruising" on the main drag. Yes folks, "cruising" was a "problem" here in the 1990's. Welcome to Pleasantville.

But this ad, put out not by Lee the Dork, but by the regular Republican Klan back in DC, has taken Pleasantville back yet again. Will this bullshit work? Oh Lee sort of disowns it. Hey IIIIIII didn't have anything to do with this ad. Not lil old me. Uh huh. Not me. But hey, I won't stop it if it keeps me in my nice house and pays me well enough to suck off taxpayers for another two years while complaining about others sucking off taxpayers.

Pardon my Pleasantville, but Fuck Lee Terry. This awkward geek needs to go home to his nice house. Constantly pulling out 1 and 2 point wins thanks to the gerrymandering done in Lincoln by the teabaggers who run this state, it's time to say to Lee Terry to go become a lobbyist or whatever so he can get drunk with buxom babes and drool while giggling and tell his story to interested ladies who hate cruising too. After he explains what that is of course.

Terry's opponent, Brad Ashford (a dead ringer for Jerry Springer) is not an ideal candidate. He's been a Republican, an independent and a Democrat all in the last year or two. So he he has no idea who he is. But when it comes to Lee Terry, I don't care who runs against him and his fucknut puppetmasters in DC. ISIS, Ebola, dead people, I dont care. If you run against Terry the Nerd, you have my vote. Again, Fuck Lee Terry.

By the way, Lee, this latest version of Willie Horton, Nikko Jenkins, is batshit crazy. The fact he's black is really irrelevant to his murder spree. Oh what the fuck am I saying, of course it's because he's black. And so was Apophis, the Egyptian serpent god that Nikko serves. As opposed to Bonerphis, the ancient drunken god Lee The Dork serves.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Where's That Off Button Again?



How sick of political ads are you? To the point of watching only Netflix, DVR's, Redbox or actually reading or taking a walk? As far as I'm concerned, every one of these creeps can go fuck themselves. I have never ever been more sick of Midwestern values phonies like Joni Ernst, Bruce Braley or whatever the fuck his name is, Lee Terry, Peter Ricketts, Brad Ashford and many others none of you have ever heard of.

You literally find out that Bruce Braley or Bailey or whatever is a disgusting creep who will help Obummer install the Nation of Islam into the deep reaches of gubmint followed immediately by Joni Ernst is a psycho bitch with a racist prick for a husband and tolerates sexual harrassment as long as it's a red blooded Republican male drooling over some Republican hottie. Then next you hear how Lee Terry personally caused the Ebola panic by cutting funding to the CDC followed again by how Brad Ashford opened the cell door to let a mass murderer out of jail to kill a nice pretty white woman. Then we get an ad telling us what a nice, bald trust fund kid named Peter Ricketts will do for our state when he wins the Governorship because he has a R next to his name. Atually it should be a tape of little Peter begging Daddy for a state to run.

Now about the next Senator from Nebraska. A Senator so silent, he makes Teller look like Robin Williams. Ben Sasse has disappeared. Gonzo. Hasn't shown up for the last two Senate debates. Has $5.8 million in the bank from his various puppetmasters to be. On the positive side, no ads. On the negative side ,the dimbulb is so hunkered down hiding that there is little chance he has his "legitimate rape" moment we all knew would come. But it won't. Cuz he's hiding out with a 20-30% lead because of that R next to his name.

I hate political ads. But what I hate worse is chickenshits like Ben Sasse.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Why Go Home?


Nobody works as hard at a concert as Bruce Springsteen. The guy sweats, runs around, plays for 3 plus hours, and entertains the hell out of people. Nobody.

But last night I saw close. Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam set foot in Nebraska for the first time since the played a bowling alley in Omaha back in 1992. A show that came the same week back in '92 as another show featuring Ice T and Body Count at the same bowling alley. Both cost $15. I could only afford one. Guess which one I went to? But Cop Killer was cool.

Last night in the Pinnacle Bank Arena in Lincoln we saw Pearl Jam in Nebraska for the very first time. And that 49 year old man named Eddie Vedder works his ass off. Singing, playing, swing from ropes for 3 plus hours,Eddie had it going. Max and I stood on the floor, about 10 rows back from the stage, sweated our butts off, and sang like foghorns to every song they played. Well at least Max sang all of them. I was not as familiar with the new stuff. But goddamn, when Do The Evolution started I screamed "I am the first mammal to wear pants" as loud as anybody there.

Look, I'm old. My knees hurt (as do Eddie Vedder's he said so).I'm overweight. I'm not fond of masses of sweaty drunk humanity in close proximity to me. But the one thing I learned in that close quartered sausage fest of young males on the floor of a Pearl Jam show is that the occasional young female feels they can do whatever the fuck they want because hey, I'm pretty and young and fuck you. Jumping on an old man's feet after pushing people out of the way so they can get closer to their dreamy Eddie is not cool. Every dude who hit me, ran into me or pushed me, apologized. Every chick who did it and the three who did know who they are, were rude and didn't give a shit that they had jumped on my feet, blocked my view and looked at me like I was the one intruding on them. The C bomb was very very close. It did not appear but it saw the end of the tunnel.

The show's setlist is out there. It was fuckin great. It was in my Top 5 of all time. I would go back tomorrow which is Saturday and would give me a day to recover. It was worth the 22 years wait after that mistake I made back in '92.

Bands that give a shit about their audience. Can that be beat? Nothing against Ringo Starr or McCartney or other performers who do a setlist of the same thing night after night. Fine. You are all wonderful too. But bands like Pearl Jam, or Bruce and the E Street band, or even Phish and anyone else who cares where they are and who they are playing for are the best.

Last night Pearl Jam played Open All Night, a Bruce Springsteen cover from the Nebraska album. For the first time ever I guess. That's special to me. They give a damn. Not a lot of people may have gotten that nod to us here in Nebraska, but I did. And I appreciate it.

Like when Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band played practically the entire Nebraska album when he was last here. Highway Patrolman for the first time in 30 years. I appreciate that too. Despite the casuals being pisssed he didn't play Born in the USA.

Years ago Phish went backstage after their regular set and practiced as quickly as they could Grand Funk's "We're an American Band" and came back and did it as an encore just because of the "Three young chiquitas in Omaha" line. I hate that song, but hey Phish, thanks for the nod.

So all the other bands can stop with the pandering "Go Big Red" shit and do something meaningful. I wanna hear somebody do Moby Grape's "Omaha".

Thanks to Eddie, Mike, Stone, Jeff, Matt and Boom for a great great time.