Monday, July 21, 2014

The End Of Happiness!


I just wish that God would pull this jackoff right thru his bathroom glory hole straight into the hellfire he deserves.

Shit, I'm not happy any longer.

Thanks, Bryan Fischer, you closet case you. Because of you and your tiny lil mind I am no longer na na na ing along with Paul McCartney and now wishing I could stick my fist up your, oh never mind.

Fischer, who gives head to the American Family Association? Oh no, he IS head of the American Family Association, has such a problem with the gays he has called them "bullies" and "belligerent". Remember when Burger King put the Whopper in a rainbow wrap in San Fran only? Jesus Christ, how deviant. Fischer couldn't wait to say that hey come on, the last thing you need while eating some cow's ass is to "think of two guys having sex". That says more about you than I really want to know, Bry Bry.

Fischer is also not a fan of Mitch and Cam from Modern Family for being all gayee and stuff. Per Mr.Fischer, same sex relationships are portrayed as wonderful (well at least he didn't say fabulous) while heteros are portrayed as "bondage, dreary and gloomy". Christ,Bryan, once Mitch and Cam are a couple of years in, dreary, bondage and gloomy will take over there too.

But Brian Fischer tweeting out a message like that? When hundreds of innocent people were murdered by supporters of the right wing's favorite man's man, and AIDS researchers are among the dead, including Joep Lange, a man who saved lives, tried to save even more lives, and would have saved even more lives, is just the kind of thing a human gnat like Bryan Fischer should just shut the fuck up about.

Damn you, Bryan Fischer. It's YOU who is the one to take me from humming All My Loving to being mad again.

The next time you're incognito at a rest stop out on Highway 78, I hope some people finally realize what a stupendous fuckstick you are and refuse to make you happy. After all, The B F doesnt stand for Bryan Fischer ALL the time.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Cream


Eric Clapton is the most overrated performer, idolized by so many, of all time. There I said it again. So shoot me.

But from 1966 to 1968 he was "God". Well he was one of the trinity anyway, along with Jack Bruce and Ginger Baker, when Cream was around.

Cream existed for such a short period of time that most I cannot believe anyone even remembers them. But oh my god, do we ever. Hell, these guys were gone before I'd even gotten over my Monkee love. But they endure and endure and thank goodness for that.

There were only 4 albums. And every song was fuckin great. Clapton could play the hell out of the guitar back then. Bruce was the best bassist and vocalist out there and Ginger Baker, well Ginger Baker is a madman, a lunatic, maybe dangerous, and aren't those guys the best drummers around?

Favorite Song:

Tales of Brave Ulysses

Ginger Baker starts this song off with haunting drums, Bruce keeps the beat going and talks the lyrics like the Greek poem it really is and Clapton, damn forget what I said earlier, he plays the hell out of the guitar. English bands really are smarter than their American counterparts. This song is why. Who the fuck is Aphrodite?

Worst Song:

They don't have one. Instead they have even more favorite songs.

SWLABR.

You couldn't go the internet and look up what that meant in 1967. So you assumed it was dirty. Or drug related. It isn't. Just remember, the rainbow had a beard and the picture had a mustache.

Badge.

Clapton sings this one and probably appropriately. His good buddy, L'Angelo Misterioso, comes in about a minute inro the song. Who is that again? L'Angelo What? Everybody knew who it was.

White Room.

Hey,it has black curtains. Was this tune one of the first to have that wah wah talking guitar dealie?

I'm So Glad

I'm so glad they resurrected this "hit" from the 1920's. When you heard this song was as old as your parents you realized with a little tweak, good music is good music. And if you watch I'm So Glad from 2005 you may get what I mean about Clapton since about 1972. He's perpetually asleep at the wheel.

Masterpiece:

Sunshine Of Your Love

What else could it be? That riff is legendary. If Smoke on the Water or Day Tripper isn't the first riff aspiring guitar gods learn, this is the one. Dundundundundun dun dun dun dun dundundun. Classic. Unless some shit English band like "Fudge Tunnel" covers it.

Forget what I said about English bands being "smarter" than their American counterparts. Wow, that sucks mate.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons!


My parents loved music in their later years. In their earlier years when I was a kid discovering their taste (Mitch Miller?)there were record albums around but nothing of any significance. In the later years they attended what are called "pop concerts" involving the local Symphony in which mostly has beens would come and sing for 3 days to a bunch of old people. Now that I'm an old person I completely get it but at the time ehhhhhh. After my Dad died, my mother continued to go to the "pop concerts" and on occasion would drag me along. Well maybe not dragged because I loved it.

One Sunday afternoon (oh those old people 2pm matinees), shortly before she got sick, the pop concert involved Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. I went with her.

For godsakes these guys had some monster hits. Besides being struck by the diminutive stature of Frankie Valli (Johnny Sack didn't call him the Mayor of MunchkinLand for nuthin)I could not believe how much this 73 year old man made me see what it was about the Four Seasons that made the perhaps THE most unique group in rock history.

Geez, Max's Dad, you've never mentioned these guys before, what's up? Well I just went to see Jersey Boys, the movie, not the stage play. Not having seen the stage production and having no reason to holler how awful Clint Eastwood's movie is, let's just say I gave it a thumbs up. Having known nothing of their story the movie set me straight. And reminded me of the monster hits these guys had.

Favorite Song:

Rag Doll:

I don't know why but its something about the musical arrangement that makes it stunning to me. The opening drums, the harmonies, the dinner bell, the ooooooooo ooooooooo. Wow. And goddam, this song hit #1 for two weeks in 1964. 1964? Do you know how fucking hard it was the dethrone the Beatles in 1964? But this song did it.

Worst Song:

Grease

Yeah I know its solo on Frankie Valli's part but for my purposes it counts. I hated this song in 1978 or whenever and I still can't stand it now. For crissakes, check out the clip, Frankie he looks like Tony Montana. Before there even was a Tony Montana.


Masterpiece:

Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Again, I know it's a solo effort, but since Bob Gaudio and Bob Crewe wrote it, it counts. Do you know how many times this has been covered? Thousands. The song is brilliantly written, brilliantly performed and who doesn't scream out "I LOVE YOU BABY" when the appropriate part comes up on Spotify or the local oldies station? It's a classic, their masterpiece and Christopher Walken sings the shit out of it in The Deer Hunter. And he's in Jersey Boys. How can that not be a sign?


Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Beatles Buzz!


I am continuing my Beatles High this week. If you get a chance, go see A Hard Day's Night at your local snobby movie theater. You will be happy for another 90 minutes.

I don't want this Beatles Buzz to end.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Happiness Defined!


From Eight Days A Week to The End this legendary 72 year old genius puts on a show that nobody would not flash back and be happy again. 2 hours and 45 minutes of being a kid again. Thanks, Paul McCartney. Seriously, thank you.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Hard Days Night!


This kid was walking around Omaha Sunday night and guess who he stumbled upon. Ladies and gents, the first selfie worth a damn. Who that older guy is sitting next to Warren Buffett is I have no idea!




Monday, July 7, 2014

The Duke Of Hazard!


You think the good folks of Nor-Fork are dumb the're Mensas compared to Kentucky State Senator Brandon Smith (Dumbass-Hazard) who actually said...on the record.........in front of an open mike......in a hearing......out loud........

“As you (Energy & Environment Cabinet official) sit there in your chair with your data, we sit up here in ours with our data and our constituents and stuff behind us. I don’t want to get into the debate about climate change, but I will simply point out that I think in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that. Yet there are no coal mines on Mars. There are no factories on Mars that I’m aware of.”

Huh? Now I'm no scientist or nuthin but I believe Mars is really cold. Like about -80 Fahrenheit, or -60 Celsius for you commies. And here on Earth it gets to minus 80 only when Cindy McCain enters a room. But even with that, it does average 58 degrees above zero all over Earth, or as its known in Kentucky, Mars Junior.

Good lord, Senator Smith. You were confusing the temperature on Mars with the average IQ of a Kentucky Republican. They ARE the same.

Please Mars, if you're out there, come to Frankfurt, Kentucky. Don't let your average Kentuckian tell ya to go to Louisville or Lexington. The problem is in Frankfurt. Please.