Teabag Nation- Douchebag Edition!

The final category for the Teabaggers is the douchebags, the wingnuts, the disgraces. The ones who are already there or about to be.

1)Joe Barton (R-Tx)--- this is the guy who apologized to British Petroleum for letting our Gulf get in the way of their felonious ways. If the Republicans take control of the House, this goofy sonuvabitch is in line to chair the Energy and Commerce Committee, a truly frightening scenario. Perhaps Texas seceding is a good thing.

2)John Culberson (R-Tx)--- is there a pattern emerging already? WTF is up with Texas? Freaking secede already! Culberson once wrote a letter to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton regarding the most pressing problem of our time. The British travel ban on Michael Savage. She responded to have Savage change his name back to Weiner and travel at will (I made that part up). He's also one of the Birthers who wants to see Obama's birth certificate. And he's in the House to stay.

3) Paul Broun (R-Ga)--- this douchenozzle is already in Congress also. He has compared Obama to Hitler and claimed Obama would establish a "Gestapo-like" security force to enforce health care. He also referred to the Civil war as "the great war of Yankee aggression". And that was in 2010! This knuckledragging nitwit is also poised to head the House Science Committee if the Republicans win the House.

4) Virginia Foxx (R-NC)---she may be the dumbest member of Congress. That's saying something. She has voted against aid to Hurricane Katrina victims, voted no on renewing the Voting Rights Act and called the Matthew Shepard murder a "hoax". She has also said that the health care bill is a bigger threat than any terrorist. Kind of like she is athreat to North Carolina's collective IQ.

5)Jean Schmidt (R-Oh)--- a dead ringer for that crazy teacher in Donnie Darko, Schmidt recently lectured 6 year olds on the evils of abortion. Some may never recover since most of them were squarely in the stork brings babies corner. She has agreed with birthers on video. She also recently asked or an apology from an anti-tax group that had a cake made with her Margaret Hamilton like mug on it. Why? Because they cut it up and ate it. Obviously another assassination attempt. She's Bat Schmidt crazy.

6) Ben Quayle (hopefully nothing-AZ)--- the son of the dopiest Vice President ever actually makes his old potatoe head father seem quaint and somewhat charming. He's run a TV ad calling Obama "the worst President in history". He was the lead sexter on the "Dirty Scottsdale" website. He sent out a flyer with pictures of his wife and kids yet he has no kids. They were loaners apparently. Quayle trails in the polls and will not win. That's the great thing about America, we don't elect the sons of ex-Veeps or ex-Presidents. Oops!

7) Marsha Blackburn (R-Tn)---this blonde harpie almost got into a fistfight with Al Gore when she implied he was a climate change advocate for his own greed. She rails against Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. She has railed against money spent on Katrina victims. Blackburn is truly a sweet talking mean girl. Don't let that southern drawl fool ya. She's every bit as nasty as that screeching bandsaw from Alaska.

8) Allen West (Nut-Fl)--- a retired (thank god) lieutenant colonel running for Congress in Florida has claimed to have a higher security clearance than President Obama. This despite the fact the Army ran him out of town for firing a pistol near an Iraqi man's head during an interrogation. He recently claimed 47% of Americans pay no taxes and still are "able to vote for their own entitlement programs – be it free healthcare, free education, free cars, free cellphones ". What does West know about taxes? He had a bit of an $11,000 IRS problem himself. And the guy is winning?

9)Trent Franks (R-Az)--- this sun baked sot has called Obama "an enemy of humanity". He's also claimed blacks were better off as slaves than they are now. He asked the House Sergeant at Arms to look for "Muslim spies" on congressional committees. Franks is living proof that Arizona and its 24-7 stove top heat causes brain rot.

10) Lee Terry (R-Ne)--- so completely unknown that Evil Dick Cheney once referred to him as "Terry Lee" while campaigning for him, this Nebraska nerd is my congressman. So allow me to rant on this dork. He wins, but by decreasing margins each time. If his district was Omaha alone, he would be back in his law office chasing his tail. But because the Republican hacks in the Nebraska legislature gerrymandered his district to include a county full of miltary retirees, he wins by 3 or 4 points each time. Terry is as worthless a congressman as there is. He does whatever he's told, is fully owned by the drug companies, can change his stripes to whatever audience he's lying to and hides behind others while defending himself in his TV ads. Terry is truly a geek, a dork AND a nerd. That's his greatest accomplishment. Go away!

The douchebags of the right make life difficult. Some of them are entrenched, revealing many American voters to be douchebags themselves. But many can be thrown away after Novemeber 2nd. let's make sure it happens. Vote, Damn it!