Sunday, October 31, 2010
Teabag Nation- Winner's Edition
There are teabaggers who are going to win their elections on Tuesday. After all, there are always nuts running around Congress elected by nuts back home. It's inevitable, but this year is different. Some of these teabaggers are plain crazy. Crazy doesn't win. Or does it? Here are some crazies who may win.
1) Sharron Angle--- There are two bad things a candidate can be. Stupid or crazy. It's seldom you ever see both. Sharon Angle is both. And she has a real shot at getting sent to D.C. by stupid and crazy Nevada-ans. Oh you all know Sharon Angle by now. Second Amendment remedies. Making rapey lemons into rapey lemonade. The press should ask questions she likes. You look Asian. Medicare and Medicaid are against the first commandment. Running away from TV reporters. Christ, she doesn't even know how to spell "Sharon". This is the woman who refuses to talk to the press any longer because they have the audacity to report the stupid shit that comes out of her piehole. Come on, Nevada, Harry Reid is a spineless weasel, but Sharron Angle is Forrest Gump. Stupid is as stupid does.
2) Rand Paul--- this guy makes his loony old man look normal. Paul is so nutty he doesn't even know he's nutty. He started off his campaign to become Senator from Kentucky by telling Rachel Maddow he doesn't really think anybody who owns a business should be forced to deal with minorities if they don't want to. He called Obama "un-American" for not kowtowing to those earth rapists at BP. He dismissed mine fatalities by stating "sometimes accidents happen". Man, that's the truth if I ever heard it. Rand Paul is about to becomes a United States Senator.
3)John Raese---West Virginia was at least smart enough once to not want to be a part of Virginia. Then after they split they went off and came up with the new name "West Virginia"? Well maybe not so smart. John Raese is a teabagger out to replace Robert Byrd in the Senate. Raese is one of those guys who runs all the time and loses all the time. But this time, Raese may win. He has brought in serial adulterer and animal murderer, Ted Nugent and serial dumbass, The Quitta from Wasilla to campaign for him and his stupid ideas. Do away with the minumum wage? In West Virginia they like this idea? Really? Oh yeah, it's West Virginia.
4)Ken Buck---this Colorado cuckoo is in real danger of becoming a Senator. This guy is too crazy for the pro-lifers there as they yanked their endorsement the other day. Buck, probably most famous for dissing the birthers as "dumbasses", is living proof of that blind squirrel finding a nut proverb. He's called the President the greatest threat to the nation, wanted to repeal the 17th Amendment and then didn't, probably after he read the damned thing and throws the word "bullshit" around like nickels. Not that I object to the word "bullshit", I just object to bullshitters using it so much. Buck also objects to that old "separation of church and state" bullshit that so baffles the Delaware duo. As a former prosecutor Buck has said that a rape victim suffered from "buyer's remorse". Come on, Colorado, come down to the normal air, wise up, and send this goof home.
5) Louie Gohmert--- he's already in office. A Congressman from , where else? ,Texas. He's claimed that terrorist cells are creating terrorist fetuses to eventually blow up Americans in about 20 or 30 years. Wonder how pro-life he is on those terrorist blastocysts?
6) Michele Bachmann and Steve King--- the Morticia and Gomez Addams of the House of Representatives are probably both going back to the Congress where they will praise each other on the floor and call each other stunning. Why don't these two just get a rubber room? I wonder what happens when Bachmann speaks French to King. Oh yeah, that would require way too much intellect on either's part. Iowa and Minnesota are such common sense places. Except in two places apparently.
7) Carly Fiorina--- Oh she's not really a teabagger, nor is she going to win, but she is a conjoined twin to Meg Whitman. In other words, she has the compassion of a pissed off cobra. Outsourcing 200,000 jobs and running Hewlett Packard into the ground while collecting millions in compensation? Oh yeah, California, send that hack to Washington D.C. She is sooooooo yesterday.
8) Dino Rossi--- never heard of him? Well, he has a real chance of becoming the next Teabagger Senator out of Washington. This foreclosure profiteer has been another one of those O'Donnell perennial losers who run for everything and win nothing. Kind of like me in a 5K race. But I'm no danger to the republic. Rossi is. Or rather his supporters are. A Rossi supporter threatened Patty Murray supporters with a meat cleaver, another Rossi fan went all Rand Paul supporter on some Rossi protestor by attacking her in front of Republican HQ. Washington, calm down. And re-elect Patty Murray.
9) Linda McMahon--- the former CEO of a wrestling organization that glorifies idiocy and misogyny, Vince's beard, errr, wife has spent $50 million of her own money in an attempt to get to the Senate. I wonder if she knows that life in the Senate, as ridiculous as it appears, is real. Bruno Sammartino isn't going to rush onto the floor of the Senate and hit Al Franken with a foreign object in the middle of a debate. She does know that, right? That's what kills me about fans of people like McMahon and Meg Whitman. They spend money like a wrestling fan at the beer stand and tell you how fiscally responsible they are. And it hardly ever works. But at least the drooling fans of McMahon can wear their WWE gear at the polling place on Tuesday thanks to more wisely spent money on a lawsuit filed by Vince.
This is getting depressing. These people may actually win, along with Pat Toomey in Pennsylvania, Marco Rubio in Florida, Ron Johnson in Wisconsin and Mark Kirk in Illinois. They must be stopped on Tuesday. With First Amendment remedies. Please vote.