I've lived in Omaha (that's in Nebraska for you Midwestophobes) my entire life. I have had my moments of wanting to move to someplace else, usually when it comes to hearing small town minds with loud mouths. Death Cab For Cutie put it best when they sang "cuz in my head there's a Greyhound station, where I send my thoughts to far off destinations,so they may have a chance of finding a place where they're far more suited than here". Well that is all fine and dandy (how more Midwest can you get that that? Saying things like that means I can't ever leave) but that doesn't make anything better for those of us here that don't think progress is for liberal commie nancy boys that want to force you to go to art museums and eat non beef food served by effete snobs with skinny ties.
There's this thing here called "recall". It means if an elected official is a crook, a scalawag, a child molester, a wife beater (though years ago that didnt seem to matter to the folks here hint hint) you can gather up a certain amount of signatures from registered voters and force the elected official to resign or face a recall election. Twenty years ago, this city got all pissy about a Democratic mayor, Mike Boyle, because he threw butter patties at a sitting Governor during a dinner and got into a schlong showing contest with the police chief. The Republicans, errrr, citizens got all offended and got enough signatures to put him into a recall. He was gone. Yeah, recalled a mayor for being a lout. Gee, mayors are never allowed to kick some ass around here. Nope. At least Democratic mayors aren't.
Now, another Democratic mayor, Jim Suttle, not a wife beater, who won election a couple of years back against a former Republican mayor, Hal Daub, never convicted of anything, and inherited this shitty economy is facing recall. Why? We have built a new arena, a new baseball stadium, a pedestrian bridge across the Missouri River, developed the riverfront to a nice area that you can go without dodging rats and raccoons, attracted industry and turned old warehouses in the formerly dead downtown into beautiful loft apartments and condos. In other words since the Small Town Brigade recalled the mayor in 1988, this town has gone from Yawnsville to a city with a vision. Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa! The Small Town Brigade is back. Stop the progress! It might cost some money!
Mayor Suttle is one of the worst PR politicians ever. Granted. He bought a hybrid car for the city to show what a green mayor he would be. Unfortunately, he let a car dealer finance the car at 29% interest. Ugh. This city also loves its pickup trucks so hybrids are thought of as some sort of tree hugging conspiracy designed to force pickup truck owners to face up to their shortcomings. Oh I'm sorry. Suttle hired business people to try to straighten out the cities' finances. Unfortunately, he paid them more than their predecessors. This pissed off the "hey I'd do that job for half that money" crowd. The salaries were lowered but the damage was done. Then the fatal blow. The infamous 2 1/2 % restaurant tax. If you eat at your local Burger King and spend $20 for the family, well you owe an extra 50 cents. Why? Well because the Omaha Police Union demands it. When they retire after 20 years, they get a "pension". This pension is based on 75% of their last few years salary. So what do Omaha Police do in their 18th 19th and 20th years of work? They work TONS of overtime, or as it's called "spiking". This raises their pension to outrageous levels. This spiking has led to millions of dollars of shortfalls that the city has to make up. So guess who the city is? Us.
Now the only perfect humans ever to your average Small Town Brigader are Jesus Christ, and cops. Cops are perfect. They never ever do anything wrong. When they shoot people with cellphones in their hand, when they plant evidence, when they "retire" early due to "disability" yeah go ahead, no problem! You do the job, they scream. If you're not doing anything wrong...you know the mentality.
Suttle is taking the fall for this. He's the taxing guy. He's to blame. This crappy economy is his fault because he's there. And of course, he's a Democrat. The Small Town Brigade are teabaggers. 1776 is their year. This is what is going on here. The sudden stoppage of progress must be achieved. No solutions to the budgetary crisis of course. Just a bunch a horse's asses kicking down the barn.
Welcome to Hick Town USA. Again.
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