Twitter Rhymes with What?

I don't like Twitter. I don't care for people who Twitter and I despise people who subscribe to Twitters. I don't give a damn that you're drunk at the Dew Drop Inn and some hot harpy is eyeing you (probably with her finger on the cell phone's 911).

But I hate, absolutely hate with the heat of a Glen Beck lie, politicians who twitter. The people who subscribe to a politician's twits, or is it tweets, or in Caribou Barbie's case, twats, need to be deported to that special whites only country they long for. Alaska.

Take note of the human bloodhound's latest twit. Fred Thompson is a slow talkin' country boy with a much younger wife waiting for him to drop dead. He ran for President, picking up the endorsement of such heavyweights as Representative Lee Terry of Nebraska. Terry's much sought after endorsement proved too much for Beauregard Thompson's chances and he dropped out. Thompson's twit is so utterly absurd, I'm sure Twitter is embarrassed enough to shut down. Or it should be. "If Obama had had his way, Saddam would be making that speech in Baghdad"? Had Had? Who the hell wrote that for Rufus, Bristol Palin? Saddam announcing the end of American combat ops? This is so stupid, made just for Thompson's tens of subscribers I'm sure, Twitter really needs to cease ops now, too. Why would Saddam be announcing anything if Obama had his way? Listen, Fred, if Obama "had had" his way, 4400 American kids would still be alive and thousands more would still have their limbs and minds and the United States would still have a couple of trillion dollars. Instead the entire country will fall back into civil war, Iran will run things, and you will wish an evil prick like Saddam was still around to buffer that area between Iran and Afghanistan.

But hey, this is America 2010, my friends. Dumber and dumber by the day. Taught by morons limited to 70 letters and limited brainpower. Twitter makes Facebook seem like Shakespeare. A plague on both your houses.