Monday, September 14, 2009

Can We Get Ted Nugent To Play Nearer My God To Thee?

Hey GOP, I hope this week goes a bit better than last week did for you. And you thought you had a bad week.

1) The teabaggers, racists, morons, and just plain stupid people didn't want a black man telling their purebred children to stay in school, get good grades, and wash their Aryan hands to keep from getting that Muslim flu. So they called schools on that talking machine and threatened spineless administrators with who knows what. Since one of the first things school administrators have to do after being promoted is get their spines removed (my apologies, Kevin) at least in Middle America, they wouldn't allow kids listen to that black guy. You look ridiculous there, GOP.

2) On Wednesday night, as the President, that black guy again, spoke to a joint session of Congress about health care, one legislator from Illinois apparently needs Flomax because he got up and left early. Then another legislator, that Wilson guy from South Carolina, forgot where he was and thought he was out front of Goober's Garage with the boys and some colored guy went walking by so he started hollerin' at him to get back to the other side of the tracks. You really look bad, GOP.

3) Good old Mike Duvall, a married Orange County California Assemblyman, big family values guy, big anti-gay rights guy, forgot every mike should be considered hot and proceeded to brag about spanking some other married woman and how another spankee didn't know about spankee #1. Tsk tsk tsk, Mikey. That's not very family valuesy. Well at least it was a woman, or rather, women. Most homophobes like spanking 15 year old male hookers or become Catholic priests. You're looking bad , GOP.

4) Kristin Maguire. I hate to keep picking on South Carolina, but Jesus Christ, the Palmetto State needs to get it's shiite together. Kristin Maguire is chairman of the South Carolina Board of Education. She, of course, is a fundamentalist Christian, homeschools her own little christians, tries to defund the public schools, and wants to teach abstinence and creationism. Ever hear of Bridget Keeney? Kristin Maguire has. Somebody named Bridget Keeney writes dirty stories, errrrrr, erotic fiction. Yeah you got it, Bridget Keeney is Kristin Maguire. She writes about doing things with an Oscar statue and a nice little Thanksgiving story about stuffing a turkey, hey wait a minute, that's not a turkey! She has resigned, which is more than I can say for the rest of South Carolina's miscreants. You look bad, GOP!

5) The teabaggers were back out Saturday in the streets of D.C. Claiming there were 2 million by using 1997 satellite pictures of the Million Man March (how ironic) these thousands of nuts carried around their racist signs and blathered on about taxes and how Muslims are taking over. Chrissakes, the streets of D.C. hasn't seen this many racist boneheads since the 1925 March on Washington by the Ku Klux Klan. You really look bad, GOP!

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