Monday, September 21, 2009

Let's Hear It For Opposite Marriage!

Oh I see, when a reporter is doing his job and some hearing challenged "values voter" can't hear what Carrie Prejean is rambling on about, that's rude. Disrupting Town Halls and heckling the President is telling it like it is. More random thoughts:

1) Who the hell is Tim Pawlenty? From what I've heard, he was a perfectly reasonable Republican Governor of Minnesota before he decided to run for President after he figured out the frontrunners for the 2012 Republican nomination was a Moron and a Morman. Now Pawlenty is quoting Bible verses at "values voters" and watching them roll around on the floor in ecstasy. C'mon now, Minnesotans aren't bible thumping charlatans, they're nice, reasonable Valhalla seekers.

2) Bo Pelini, head football coach at Nebraska, needs to chill out. After getting beat in a crazy, impossible way last Saturday at Virginia Tech, Bo went nuts. He threw his headphones at somebody, and on his postgame radio show, for which I believe he gets paid, he constantly asked the interviewer "did you see the play? let's move on". No, Bo, to put it in terms you might understand, what the fuck happened? Maybe Turner Gill would've been a better choice.

3) Pit Bulls should be banned. A 52 year old woman here in Omaha saw a pit bull threatening an 11 year old kid, came out of her house, distracted the psychotic canine and promptly had the pit bull attempt to eat her. She's in the hospital and may lose her leg. Last summer a pit bull chewed the scalp off a 4 year old girl. I'm sure any city in the country has similar stories. The solution? Put the pit bull owners to sleep too. The collective IQ of any city brave enough to do this would double.

4) Women's college volleyball is a great sport. I took Max to a Creighton University volleyball game the other night because I believe in spreading the sports experience around. To absorb yourself in football, basketball and baseball and nothing else is narrow minded and very Republican. I want Max to give the less popular sports, volleyball, soccer, hockey, and smaller class high school sports a try. But one thing I saw at this volleyball game bothered me. A number of single men with HUGE telephoto lenses taking pictures of the players. Is there such a thing as volleyball porn?

5) According to the New York Times, John Edwards told his mistress and baby's mama he would wait for Elizabeth to die and then he would marry her on a New York rooftop with music by the Dave Mathews Band. How much more sleaze can John Edwards get on himself? But of course all you conservatives, like the "values voters" who booted the MSNBC guy out of their little Bund meeting, don't believe a word of it, right? The New York Times is just another left wing lying slave to its communist masters that never tells the truth. Correct?


Jack Jodell said...

Way to blend it up, Max's Dad!
1). Pawlenty is a dyed-in-the-wool social and economic conservative. He is also a smug and sneaky politician. His seemingly reasonable demeanor makes him come across like a sensible moderate, but he's actually far right, a kind of Dubya meets economic conservative GOP. He is also smug and does not listen well. Watch out for this guy---he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. We here in Minnesota have had paw-lenty of Pawlenty, and we want him permanently retired from politics!
2). Sounds like that guy needs a shot of estrogen before each game (or at least at halftime). One Bobby Knight in sports is enough.
3). Yeah, thhat Sarah Palin breed of canines serves no useful purpose. They oughta all be put to sleep.
4). Yeah, I guess it's just a case of have big telephoto lens and a group of young ladies and some guys will follow them anywhere!
5). My biggest disappointment in politics ever. The guy's got an angel for a wife, she gets sick, she looks to be recovering, THEN he starts screwing around. What a complete pile of sh*t!

Project Christopher said...

I love how many ideas you have going on at once. I think you'd be big hit on Bill Maher!