I Want My Hour Back!

Oprah vs. Bible Spice

4:09- what's up with Northern Overexposure's Phil Spector-like hair?

4:10- whining about double standard on her kids. Says "right on" to Oprah thinking it's 1973 and she's talking to Angela Davis.

4:14-Oprah says she was at "another convention" and Caribou Barbie flashes that Miss Wasilla smile

4:15- says "double standard" again

4:19- sorry I drifted off before being awakened by nails on blackboard voice

4:20- well off white women in audience politely applaud a break

4:25- the Pale Alaskan calls Katie Couric "badgering". What would she think of Sam Donaldson?

4:26- says "right on" again. Once again, you are not talking to Pam Grier

4:27- Oprah replays Couric interview. Jesus, Miss Moosejaw really is stupid.

4:29- Track's Ma was "annoyed" at Katie Couric and that's why she acted like Heidi from the Hills

4:30-Trigger's mommy is painting herself into a corner on considering a choice to have abortion. a choice she wants to deny others, Oprah sits there like a lump

4:36- Levi's almost mother-in-law discusses Levi with a lame "Johnny Hollywood" remark and claims he's doing "porn" . My brain is about to melt

4:38- Oprah asks her if she's "pissed" at Levi's statements concerning what a horrible human being she is. My ADHD kicks in. I have no idea what she said

4:45- Why am I watching this? Everybody, except horny white male conservatives, know she's a total fraud

4:46- Piper dresses up for Halloween as a "snow machine" driver. I knew I should have dressed up like my Dad at Halloween, one of the cast of Mad Men

4:47- Wasilla Whackjob tries too hard to convince us of her strong marriage

4:50- McCain wouldn't let me speak on election night. She is "disappointed". Nobody else is

4:52- Lisa Loopner drawls out "Tawwwwwwd". I want Bill Murray to give her a noogie

4:53- Obama's "caaaaaamp" caused her to quit the Governor's job? She's tap dancing like Shirley Temple.

4:54- Papa Heath says she's "reloading" not "retreating".

4:55- running for Pres "nawt on my radar screen".

..............had an involuntary jerk of right hand and it turned channel to Bonnie Hunt.