Saturday, September 29, 2012

Fox Skews!!!

That's the Fox New electoral map for 2012. We all know the polls are all wrong, including their own, because all pollsters are gay, Muslim, chicks, gun haters and healthy eaters who are under the Obama spell put forth by Michelle Obama and her army of black panthers who will intimidate sweet little old white ladies by just existing somewhere within 50 miles of the sweet little old ladies polling place. Pfew....writing like Sarah Palin talks is hard, so stop it and get in the ring if you thinks its so easy!

The conservatives are getting so desperate, scared, panicky and nuts they have now come up with a new strategy. Just deny reality. You know, like they do on climate change and well, reality. So here are some more things Fox News has come up with that are facts that were skewed by liberal hippies with all that book learnin and shit.

1) The Germans really DID bomb Pearl Harbor

2) Fox News IS fair and balanced

3) You really DO tug on Superman's cape

4) Rhianna did NOT fall in a love in a hopeless place

5) Michael Corleone did NOT have Carlo killed

6) Despite Joe Scarborough's insistence, Jesus is NOT sweet, but very bitter

7) Paul Ryan is NOT Eddie Munster, he is Zoe Deschanel

8) Mitt Romney does NOT have two positions on every issue, he has three

9) Bill O'Reilly in fact does NOT like to "do it live" and the fuckin thing does NOT suck

10) Golden Tate DID catch that pass against the Packers

11) Clint Eastwood was NOT talking to an empty chair

12) Gretchen Carlson IS talking to two empty chairs

13) Inception & Lost ARE easily explained

14) Facts DO indeed have a liberal bias

15) Roger Ailes does NOT have a fetish for dumb blondes

16) Ann Romney DID work one day in her life

17) Scott Walker DOES support unions, as long as the union wears stripes

18) Mitt Romney did NOT avoid the Vietnam draft, he simple kept Charlie out of Paris very successfully

19) The Five is NOT 4 morons and a moderate punching bag, it's the panel from the Planet Kolob

20) and finally, Fox News is NOT a tool of the Republican party , but a very cleverly disguised tool of the Onion

Sweet Jesus!

1 comment:

Jack Jodell said...

Fox is stupifyingly pathetic!