Friday, September 21, 2012

47 Percent Named!


Hey all I know about taxes is I gotta pay them. Key words. "Pay them". Yeah and I'm so sick of the 47% that don't pay any federal income taxes I could spit. I'm with Romney here. Those lazy deadbeats need to be taken to the woodshed and forced to take personal responsibility and contribute to society like we do! Mittens Romney will accept the tough job and force those 47% to fork some dough over. So get off his back cuz its hard. Ann Romney, who pays a lot of taxes, said so. We are so fortunate that a man like Mittens has stepped forward to make that 47% get off the dole and get a freakin' job, even though there aren't any.

I'm so angry with that 47% I am going to name names of some of those 47% to shame them into taking personal responsibility and pay some taxes.

Here are their names:

1) Mr. Bank of America - Mr. America paid nuthin! These deadbeats got all sorts of government welfare and then turned around and sent it to offshore bank accounts like in the Caymans or Switzerland, something Mittens Romney would never ever do cuz he's a real American.

2) Mr.Boeing- Boeing got a whole lot of welfare from the government and then sent that offshore , presumably on the same plane as Mr.B O America's welfare , and they too paid not one copper cent. Mittens Romney is going to force you to check some baggage and pay up!

3) Ms. Citi Bank-- More federal welfare came their way (how DO they do it?) and they sent it off to Hong Kong. Hey aint Hong Kong in China? Ms. C. Bank, you are truly traitors and Mitt Romney is gonna get you!

4)Mr. Exxon Mobil--The government sent them a whole bunch of welfare, errrrr, subsidies, and Mr. E Mobil paid no taxes because they sent it off to the Caymans also. You clowns don't know Mitt Romney knows the Caymans like the back of his bronzed hand. He'll find you!

5) Mrs. Merck-- this drug dealing lady deals drugs! They paid no taxes either. It's about time to pay the pusher, Mrs.Merck! Mittens Romney does not like drug dealers and he will find you too!

6)Mr. Verizon- now this guy has balls. Not only did Mr.Verizon pay no taxes, he got a refund from the federal government of around a billion dollars. Kind of makes my $400 refund sort of meaningless. Mittens Romney will put a stop to that, Mr.Verizon!

7) Mrs. Wells Fargo- this woman got tons and tons of welfare and used the welfare to have a kid named Wacovia (typical weird welfare name) and pay no taxes. Mittens Romney will not only make you pay taxes, Mizzzzzzzzz Fargo, he will sell you condoms so you don't have any more kids!

8) Sir News Corp-- this guy sounds ridiculously foreign. Sir? Sounds Aussie or something. Sir News Corp is pretty foxy about not paying taxes. Hides all there ill gotten gains offshore also. Mittens Romney will sic his pit bulls, Bill and Sean, on you and make you pay taxes!

9)General Electric- ok ok a man serving the country like the good General may deserve a tax break, but Mittens Romney will make him pay a bit, dontcha think?

There, those are some of the 47% . I just had to name names. I am so sick of paying more federal taxes than these lazy assholes!

So you see, Mitt Romney was right. The people listed above are truly leeches, moochers, and takers. They need to be stopped and I'm sure Mittens is just the man to do it! But like Ann of Green Gables said, its so hard! Poor Mittens!

4 comments:

Jerry Critter said...

You are absolutely right. After all, "corporations are people, my friends".

Max's Dad said...

oh absolutely my friends....

John Myste said...

Some of the 47% are millionaires. Romney also forgot to mention that.

Also, no one, including Romney, pay any income tax on the bottom margin of their income. It is untaxable. If that is all you get, then you are taxed at 0.00 on that portion of your income, just like Romney is taxed 0.00 on that portion of his income, I am taxed 0.00 on that portion of my income and someone who only makes 6k per year is taxed 0.00 on that portion of is income.

There is no disparity in the tax scheme in that case. We are all taxed 0.00 on that portion of our income.

What is he complaining about again?

John Myste said...

To summarize it a different way, I don't think Romney understands how the progressive tax system works.

He thinks he is taxed on income that the poor are not taxed on. That belief is false.

Loop holes aside, we are all taxed at the same rate for each portion of our income over X dollars (except for his long term capital gains with their 15% ceiling, that is).