Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Day Three! Tampa Tantrum!

Day Three...The pissed off elephants, fresh off the throwing of the peanuts at the black chick cuz she's an "animal", reconvene for yet another day of frivolity and fun. Last night's Ann Romney speech roused the never worked a day in my life and don't intend to but you have to crowd. Chris Christie was such a firebrand, sweating and being hungry and all, he almost got Mittens to move his facial muscles. WTF? Does Mittens really want this to happen? I'm beginning to doubt his steely resolve and rock hard principles!

Day 3 schedule:

7 PM--National Anthem sung by Scott Brown's daughter, Ayla, a karaoke reality show contestant. In the words of Simon, what...the...bloody...'ell....was...that...

7:10 PM---In their pandering to everybody, a Sikh opens with a prayer. Delegates hold their nose, throw pork at the guy and ask Jesus for forgiveness

7:20 PM--Ron Paul gets his moment in the sun with a video. The Republicans show Bruno hitting on him in a hotel room.

7:30 PM--An actual talking turtle takes the stage and drawls his way to a rip roaring conclusion in which he slips out the back door of the convention center and in the back door of the Honey Pot (look it up)

7:40 PM--Rand Paul (Dumber than Mitch-Ky)takes the stage. Republicans with an IQ over the Palin line hide their heads in shame

8:00 PM-- Grampy McCain is allowed onstage. Growls at the motherfuckers who hate his guts and storms offstage.

8:10 PM--Twice married Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi flutters her eyelashes onstage attempting to attract yet another sucker

8:20 PM--Bobby Jindall (Exorcist-La)- a testimony to Republican diversity explains how he has taken all that science and math shit in Louisiana and turned it over to Jesus, which he never really believed in until he realized that he had to in order to win anything in Louisiana. He converted to Catholicism . That's almost Ann Romney type crazy.

8:30 PM--Pretty Boy Dullard John Thune (Who Cares-SD)makes Mittens look like Chris Rock.

8:45 PM--Ohio Stiff Rob Portman (Who Really Cares-Oh) gets up onstage. Jesus Christ, what's next? Tim Fucking Pawlenty? This is better than Ambien

9:00 PM--Goddamn it IS Tim Pawlenty (Bridge Killer-Mn)! WTF Republicans? I've seen some boring ass conventions but this is the Wikipedia of dull conventions

9:15 PM--Noted Todd Akin rape baby enthusiast and bass player in bad rock band, Mike Huckabee, takes the podium to much applause from the eye rolling fatties who used to see Mike at the Golden Corral praying over his plates full of fat.

9:30-- Because Jeb "The Smart One" Bush insisted, a film glorifying the worst fucking joke of a President ever, his father, plays. I think they might mention Junior too, but I wouldn't count on it.

10:00 PM--The worst Secretary of State ever and noted new token member of Augusta Country Club, Condoleeza Rice, shows everybody once again the rainbow like Republican party. How many peanuts get thrown at her is up in the air.

10:15 PM--New Mexico Governor, Susana Martinez, gets up to speak. Delegates begin to wonder if there's like, you know, any "normal" people in their party anymore.

10:30 PM--Eddie Munster gets em on their feet. Finally a sociopathic, phony Catholic, privileged white prick like them gets up to hammer on that Kenyan Muslim Marxist Foreign Commie Interloper Socialist Negro Guy taking up space in their White House. Mittens Romney sits like a stone, scared of what kind of white trash nasty impolite assholes he's had to pander to all these years.

11:00 Pm--- Some Muslim or some weirdo in a funny hat and a beard and some kind of foreign name , Archbishop Demetrious (???), starts praying. Delegates in such a furriner hating frenzy from Eddie Munster's teeth gnashing , security has to catch all the peanuts thrown at the stage but can't keep up and the Archbishop hollers in Greek, "Go fuck μόνοι σας".

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