Monday, August 27, 2012

Day One! Tampa Tantrum!

Republican Convention Day 1 Schedule

1:00 PM---RNC Liar Reince "Der Fuhrer" Priebus gavels the hatefest to order. Then adjourns and runs and hides from rain.

1:00 PM to 5:00 PM-- Republican delegates nap

5:00 PM- 6:00PM-- Republican delegates visit early bird buffets and leave no tip because the waiters make damn good money and should be damn glad they even have a job

6:00 PM- Republicans ask cab drivers where the action is. Cab Drivers take them to Romney hotel, tell them to ask for Ann.

7:00 PM-9:00 PM- Strip clubs host Republican delegates who try to put dimes into G strings

9:00 PM- Republican delegates tired of not killing anything today, kill brain cells with single malt liquor while expressing their outrage over easy access to liquor laws

11:00 PM-- Republican male delegates call escort agency for some companionship. Republican female delegates breathe sigh of relief the evil Reince Penis won't be in their future

Midnight--Republicans go to bed. It's late. Pledge allegiance to the flag, thank God they didn't see any of "those people", takes swig of Nyquil and passes out to get ready for Tuesday when the real hate begins

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