Monday, July 22, 2013

Stosh Totally Threw The Sausage Race!

Stop # 2 of the Great Baseball Circle Trip was Milwaukee for a Monday night game featuring the last place Brewers and the last place San Diego Padres. Hey you can walk to Miller Park there from National Street's Best Western.

Notes from Beer Town:

1) Do not go looking for Marquette University. Trust me here.

2) Ryan Braun is a cheating, lying asshole. He was suspended the very day we show up to see the Brew Crew. However, to give Brewer fan some credit, we only saw one delusional Braun jersey wearing jackoff stand and applaud for a solid minute when they showed one of Braun's juiced up homers on the big screen.

3) Padre left fielder Carlos Quentin, who was standing right in front of us the entire game, has Popeye forearms. How does this guy only slam 20-30 homers a year?

4) The Brewers have a new left fielder since their old one is a lying sack of shit. I have no idea who he is. But he was also standing right in front of us the whole game.

5) Brewer fans like to drink. But they drink beer like they should and not whiskey like upper deck Twins fans.

6) The sausage race in the bottom of the 6th was tremendous. It started right in front of us and our sections rep, Stosh the Polish, had a length lead 5 feet from the wire before he totally threw it and fell down. What a bum! Throwing a race to Brett Wurst! Come on! Guido, the Italian, showed. Frankie Furter was fourth and Cinco the Chorizo was last. It was by far the best "race". Just edged out that giant headed Target dog's win on Sunday at Target Field.

7) Tried and failed to see if Front Row Amy was there. With the loss of that juicing cheat Braun, she may be the greatest Brewer ever!

8) Milwaukee apparently has about 1 million Boy Scouts as they paraded on the field before game time. I swear it took an hour. And it apparently is mandatory for Milwaukee scoutmasters to have gigantic beer bellies.

9) Oh yeah, the Padres won 5-3 or something. Some guy named Jesus, the first baseman for the Padres, hit a home run. Of course.

Off to Chicago!

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