Sunday, July 21, 2013

Hall Of Famer Jason Kipnis!

I am a bit out of it as I've been on a gigantic circle jerk of a baseball trip thru Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Chicago and St Louis for the last week. Did anything happen while I was concentrating on my true love, guys hitting balls with a long stick? Speaking of that, how's the New York Mayor's race panning out?

Notes from Minneapolis:

1) Target Field is still the best place on earth to get Walleye on a stick!

2) Don't sit in upper deck on a Saturday night unless you wish to endure drunks. Oh no, not beer drunks, hey man, been there, but whiskey drunks. Who the fuck drinks whiskey at a baseball game? Upper Deck Twins fans, that's who! Holy Schnikes, these 20 somethings were hard core and by the 5th inning were hollering obscenities my mother up in heaven would have blushed at. That's what I get for being a cheap ass. Check out a stint at Hazelden, upper deck whiskey drinking Twins fans.

3) Sit about 17 rows or more up for a day game if you spring for the lower grandstand seats. The sun was killing us until about inning 2 on Sunday and then it went away. Cool. But the Twins lost bad.

4) Jason Kipnis is the greatest baseball player who ever lived. Shit, everything he hit on Saturday night or Sunday afternoon almost went out. Two homers? Damn, he's a second baseman, Scott Diamond (how is THIS guy still in the major leagues?), throw him something he can't hit, like 4 straight balls.

5) How is Tony Oliva 75 years old already? No No No, he's still hitting third in front of Harmon Killebrew, isn't he? Oh lord, I'm getting old. But I bet Tony O could still double off Scott Diamond.

6) The Light Rail system in the Cities is great. Parked at the 28th Street station, paid the $3.50 each , and rode right up to the Target Field entrance. Then back again after the games. My only question is how do they know if you paid? I swear half the people hopping on and off didn't pay a dime to get on. Just wondering.

7) TC, the Twins mascot, a knock off of the Hamms bear I assume. sometimes looks happy as hell, and then when you get a good look at him, he looks kind of deranged with a sort of crazed I'm about to chew your head off look.

Off to Milwaukee.

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