Tuesday, July 23, 2013

It's One Dollar! No I Said Two Dollars! I Got Change!

Driving in Chicago is a goddamned nightmare. Snailing our way down Diversey Avenue at 2:30 pm? Really? What's it like at 8 am? Oh we will find out. It's White Sox-Tigers at U.S. Cellular.

Notes from Chicago:

1) Just as Ryan Braun was suspended the day we were to see the Brewers, Miguel Cabrera was injured in Monday's game and would not play on Tuesday. Oh well, the Tigers still have some guy named Jhonny.

2) If you get a Row 1 seat at Comiskey Park, errrrrrr, U.S.Cellular, you actually sit in Row 2. Cuz the White Sox have something called Row AA which is actually Row 1. Watching everybody screw up by saying ayyyyyy you're in our seats only to realize they are a row behind was actually funny. We were in Row 1 down the right field line, errr, I mean Row 2.

3) Prince Fielder is fat. There's just no other way to say it.

4) The Tigers have a Samoan linebacker named Tuaisosopo. He plays outfield. Tiger fans call him "Matt".

5)There's a lot of Tigers fans who come to Chicago. We were surrounded by this strange lot of Detroit fans who I'm sure live nowhere near Detroit.

6) The L train is rerouted for construction so a former one block walk is now 5 blocks. It is adventurous to say the least. Going back to the trains at 10 pm we saw what can be described as guys with cups for spare change, a guy playing a saxophone for tips, two guys drumming for tips and some maniac "selling" newspapers who kept changing the price depending on how naive he thought you were. I got by him for 4 quarters, but poor Max was assaulted by this homeless version of Donald Trump who "demanded" two dollars. What's a poor kid to do? I had to put a stop to this grifter. But I think he got his 2 bucks. Guess Max is lucky he didn't get his 20!

7) The three best players in baseball so far are Jason Kipnis, some Padre named Jesus and a Tiger who spells "Johnny" as "Jhonny". "Jhonny" slammed a homer into the left field stands. WTF?

8) White Sox fans are a hearty lot. There's nothing advantageous to being a Sox fan other than you have two World Series wins since the North Side losers won. So these guys are real fans, not hipsters. The three World Champion banners are kind of pathetic, 1906, 1917, and 2005. Until you realize the Cubs have none since 1908.

9) I love walking around Chicago. I love the L train. Period.

Off to Saint Louis.

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