Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Pope Hope!

Happy Birthday Pope Francis The Best Pope Ever The First. Did the Pope get a giant birthday cake and a lot of presents? Nahhh.... The Pope took in 4 homeless bums and a homeless bum dog to help him celebrate his 77th birthday because he's a Marxist and probably gay. The homeless scum sang him Happy Birthday while the dog probably scavenged off the Vatican floor because he's a lazy ass canine hanging around Italian takers.

The Pope was recently named Man of The Year by Time (which proves he's a lefty loon) and then by the Advocate (which proves his swishyness). The Advocate naming the Pope Man of the Year has caused a shitload of couch fainting not only among the people who have no idea what the Advocate is, but by some of the Advocate's loyal readers who somehow think a magazine naming a Man of the Year actually means something. Hey, The Pope isn't the second coming of Saint Sebastian or anything, but the fact he fired a bigoted American Cardinal named Raymond Burke for being a regal pain in the ass with his anti gay, anti abortion ranting has to mean something, right? Oh ok, maybe not Man of the Year shit, but certainly an honorable mention,maybe?. Besides, now the Advocate will sell lots and lots of copies and get lots and lots of hits from both people who think it advocates Catholicism and has a centerfold of Mother Angelica AND from irate readers who can type out hateful posts because they hate all the hate so much.

To get back to the Pope, who sends tingles down my retired Catholic leg sometimes, he spent his birthday with four homeless dudes and a dog. Did you get that:

a) Rick "Ewww" Santorum
b)John "Raging" Boehnerh
b) Sam " Ewww Again" Brownback
c) Jeb "Go Away" Bush
d) Newtie "the Annulment" Gingrich
e) Bobby "the Page" Jindal
f) Antonin "The Don" Scalia
g) Clarence "Uncle" Thomas
h) David "the Diaper" Vitter
i) Jeff "Who the Fuck is He" Fortenberry (Nobody-Ne)
j) Sam "Four Eyes" Alito
k) John "No No No" Roberts
l) Bill O The Clown
m) Marco "Cuba Si Castro No" Rubio

Did ya get that, American Catholic politicians? The Pope spent his birthday with the homeless and a fuckin dog! That's after he heads out on the streets of Rome at night to minister to the poor, drives a used Renault, lives in a studio apartment, refuses to condemn atheists and gays, and used to work as a bouncer.

Clearly a freakin Marxist. Who would do that if he wasn't a commie? Uhhhhhhhhhh, oh yeah, THAT freakin guy.

No comments: