Saturday, December 7, 2013

Brains In Jail!

Nelson Mandela was a fuckin saint. Trust me on this, I am such a misanthrope most of the time that when somebody comes along who penetrates my cynical shell I go all in on them and Mandela was one of few I would have thrown my entire moral fortune on.

Mandela's story is well known and I can't bore people with a rehash of his looooooong imprisonment for whatever the fuck the South African government convicted him of. Oh yeah, I know, it's whatever the CIA told them to convict him of.

But back to the negative cuz that's what I'm all about.

Bill O'Reilly. This stuffed shirt seems to think calling Mandela a "communist" somehow will keep his 70 plus demo satisfied that ol' Bill aint getting soft on these coloreds. And speaking with Rick Santorum about the death of Mandela is so absurd it's hard to come up with an equivalent. Oh I don't know, let's say it's similar to a tea party member talking with a squirrel about quantum physics at a publicly funded park.

Santorum, in prime dopey form, took the opportunity to equate the injustice done to Mandela to Obamacare being an equal injustice to you and me. Goddamn, this guy is a fucking moron. Sometimes I think O'Reilly, in all his bombastic efforts to cover up his own insecurities, puts guys like Santorum or the equally dense John Stossel on the air just so he can feel brainy or something. We already know why he puts Coulter or Monica Crowley on. Hubba hubba, Billy. I feel for the Fox News cleaning crew who has to dump O'Reilly's tissue laden wastebasket after a Crowley appearance.

Rick Clark, a Sheriff in South Carolina somewhere, refused to lower the American flag to half staff to honor Mandela cuz Mandela wasn't an American or something. And because one black guy ordered him to lower the flag to honor another black guy I'm sure. This Pickens County piss ant really isn't worth any more attention so good luck enforcing all the laws he chooses to enforce. Good choice for sheriff.

Rush Limbaugh bashed Obama. What's new? Obama wishes he was Mandela said the loner in the basement when in fact Mandela is more like Clarence Thomas. Even Snerdley, Rush's imaginary friend, spit his martini all over the keyboard when he heard that whopper. Clarence Thomas? Mandela? Chrissakes, Clarence Thomas would have narc'ed out Mandela so fast he may have missed a couple of minutes of "Charlize Does Johannesburg". Fuck, Rush. The hearing already went. Get some help.

Sarah Palin? Jesus, for once she didn't say shit. I can only chalk that up to the fact she has to look up who Mandela was and hasn't quite boned up on his "I Have A Dream" speech.

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