Thursday, November 7, 2013
The United States Senate, home to 32 of the biggest fucking assholes on earth, has passed the Employment Non Discrimination Act, otherwise know as ENDA, or the enda of civilization as we know it if you prefer. By a vote of 64-32 the bill tells employers hey there, Bubba, you can't fire that queer just cuz he's queer. You have to come up with some other bullshit reason to get rid of his or her fabulous self.
Now I know that an even bigger bunch of assholes lives over there in the House of Mouth Breathing Morons so this bill will never see the light of day. Mostly because a lot of the House stays out too late carousing at JR's Bar & Grill in between Jesus loving and gay hating. The Boner, who has already pissed his khakis in fear of the totally not gay Tea Party, will never let this bill onto the floor of his precious House. This is because he knows it would pass, orrrrrrr, he knows it won't pass, which will make Republicans look even more bigoted than they already do. Please, Mister Boner, put down the Makers Mark and put it out there for your minions to vote on, and more memorably, to talk about. Nothing would make me happier than to see these gin soaked closet cases like Steve King (Psycho Killer-Ia), or Virginia Foxx (Who'd Do Her Anyway-NC) or Louis Gohmert (Rubs One Out To The Rifleman's Tight Jeans-TX) or Marsha Blackburn (Totally Gay For Ellie Mae-TN) get up and give me more sound bites to holler at.
Come on, Speaker Boner, get that fuckhead Kevin McCarthy (Total Waste Of Space-CA)to round up all the House dudes currently hanging out at the DC Eagle and get 'em back to the House and let 'em go at it. I want to hear that cake boy Steve Stockman (Fondles Guns-TX) dazzle us with his wisdom on why he opposes not being able to fire somebody for being themselves. I want to hear my favorite Nebraska swag Lee Terry (Head Up Ass-NE) justify his bigotry. I want to hear Bicurious Michele Bachmann (Worlds Most Famous Beard-MN)explain how eating a corn dog leads to cervical cancer in a man. I want to hear them all. But alas, we know them to be tiny little girly men.
Anyway, congrats to the gays. It's a step. A long overdue step and the first of many. I know it means virtually nothing now but once 2014 comes around and most normal thinking double digit IQ types come around, it may change.
Until then, keep on dressing in drag, and working at day cares and elementary schools all over America. What? That doesn't happen? Who would have thought people who worship a Jewish Hippie would lie?