Saturday, January 30, 2016
Per CNN, it's 47 hours to Iowa caucus time when a small state of white people take the rest of us hostage by walking over to their local school and standing in a room and arguing. The Republican caucus goers will inevitably pick the worst candidate possible because most of them are crazy religious kooks who think crazy things like the earth is flat, ethanol is good, Jesus exists, and Obama is a liberal Democrat. Hell, this bunch has such a historical losing streak, Trump the clown had better hope Vampire Cruz wins because the winner here will not win the nomination. Remember the infamous 1988 Pat Robertson "win" or if you're not old like me, remember way back to 2012 when either Huckabee or Santorum "won"? These people couldn't the winner of a Michele Bachmann- Neil DeGrasse Tyson IQ off.
Iowa gets its ass kissed every four years and have come to expect it. I know, I've lived there during caucus time and these people actually believe they matter. They don't, of course, but you'd never know it the way the media, trying so hard to fill a 24/7 news cycle, follows some guy in a Hawkeye sweatshirt around asking him constantly if his vote for some Republican nimrod has changed in the last 20 minutes. Most people would be annoyed by this. Iowa person loves it. I matter! People care what I think! My uninformed defense of Ted Cruz or Donald Trump or that cute Mexican white guy, Marco Rube passes for political genius. Thanks for asking me, liberal media guy, I hate you at rallies but ask me something and I'm all yours.
On the Democratic side, it isn't as bad. The Iowa Democrats, though still very much Iowa guy, seem to have a bit of sense and historical perspective. They don't vote for far left wing dude, even though none actually exist, they tend to vote for the one with more energy and fun. They did launch Obama in 2008. They launched Kerrey in 2004. When faced with the choice between sleepy and sleepier in 2000 they went with sleepy, you figure which was Al Gore and which was Bill Bradley. That caucus must have been like arguing with Ben Carson. Geezus, why bother, I hear Casey's has a special on pizza. This year, the Bernie crowd is ready. Hillary bet hope the snowstorm is late, cuz her backers won't be able to get the Buick out of the barn. Bernie's folks will walk through blizzards uphill both ways to call Hillary a corporate stooge.
Iowa will be over in two days and then the rest of us can ignore its pork obsession, it's provincialism, and it's welfare state for corn farmers making environmentally destructive ethanol.
So Iowa Republicans, vote Cruz. Iowa Democrats, vote Bernie.
Enjoy your every four year butt kissing, Iowa. It's soon over. And you can go back to doing whatever it is you do. No no, I'm not going to ask. You may actually tell me.
They are going so damn fast. Paul Kantner died this week at age 74. The brains behind the Jefferson Airplane, the psychedelic rock, the guy who put out entire albums about the deteriorating political scene is gone. And we are worse off for it.
The Jefferson Airplane was born out of counter culture breaking free in San Francisco in the mid 60s. The Airplane, once the power joined in one Grace Slick, did break free and hit the national scene. Along with Marty Balin and Jack Casady and Jorma Kaukonen and a slew of Spinal Tap like drummers (why is it always the drummers who get fucked over) Kantner and the Airplane became headliners. The hits, of course, were the driving force, but Kantner was seemingly putting up with the hits to play his own spacy music. You could tell the Kantner songs a mile away. He sang rarely but when he did it was just attention getting. Slicks power voice and Balin's soft crooner voice were fine, but Kantner was the guy I wanted to hear on the albums.
I never saw the Airplane, but after the internal feuding took over and Kantner went forward with Grace to form Jefferson Starship, I saw them numerous times. It was just as spacey as ever when Kantner would launch into anything other than the hits. Have You Seen The Saucers, Ride The Tiger, and that entire album I would become obsessed with back in 1975, Blows Against The Empire. God I loved that album. Even though by the time I was into it it was already 4 or 5 years old, it blew my mind. The whole concept was just fascinating and the list of musicians was like a who's who of San Francisco treats. The Dead, David Freiberg, David Crosby, Graham Nash, god that was a cool time.
But Paul is gone now. The space has him and he knows the truth.
Who can forget Paul at Altamont sarcastically thanking the Hells Angels for punching Marty Balin?
Another one gone. Damn.
Monday, January 25, 2016
As an aging baby boomer ,I am a sucker for ads like this. Maybe its because it's such a contrast to the vampire like ads put out by that sneering vulture Ted Cruz, or that reality show host and his rambling nonsense, or the idiocy put forth from Cruz Lite, Marco Polo, or the sleepy America sucks turn that the somnambulist Doctor Ben has taken.
Bernie Sanders America ad is hope and change all over again and Hillary had better take it seriously or shes going to get out hustled and out energized like she did in 2008. Sanders supporters have the energy of 2008 Obama foot soldiers and quite frankly the energy of the 1992 Bill Clinton troops who turned old man Bush into a man who looked like he'd rather be speed boating at Kennebunkport than running the country into a pothole.
Iowa is all about energy. Not the energy of fear mongering religious evangelicals who turn out to give the Republican caucus winner the kiss of death, but the young people who walk the streets door to door for candidates like Bernie Sanders and Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and Gary Hart and Jimmy Carter and George McGovern because their idealism hasn't been crushed. Sanders has a movement going. I saw it in 2008 when at a caucus the Hillary supporters were old and white and quite frankly, boring. The Obama side of the room was chanting and cheering and getting told by olds like me that this is what Bobby Kennedy's campaign was like. My 84 year old mother abandoned Hillary that day for Obama. She said simply "I like these Obama people better".
And Hillary Clinton had better realize this. Her ads in Iowa are negative towards Bernie. She tears him up for what? I am afraid its because that is what Clintons do. Attack like cornered dogs. And nobody likes a cornered dog. A happy tail wagging dog yes. Maybe she should try it instead of going more towards the Carly Fiorina style of humorless victim type ads.
Don't get me wrong, I would vote for Hillary over any of those fucking Republican assholes. But her way of campaigning got her beat in 2008, and it may get her beat in 2012. I am serious here. This Bernie Sanders thing is catching on. I saw Bernie speak last August and I felt like running out and voting for him right then and there. There wasn't one thing he said I felt anyone with a brain and a heart could disagree with. He is inspiring to say the least. I just love the guy.
Hillary has better get it together and quickly. She is in danger. And she doesn't get it. She is likable as hell on Ellen or Fallon or Colbert or Kimmel, but she is unlikable as hell when she runs a campaign. She is no Bill Clinton, ruthless but lovable. She's simply ruthless.
Saturday, January 23, 2016
The scam has been going on for 233 so years and it's working even today. Perhaps even more so since social media (man I hate that term anymore) tells people exactly what they want to hear and facts be damned. Yeah polar bears started out red and living in Fiji until one day God picked em up and dropped them in the Arctic and made them white like him. There, I just made a "fact" that your average Trump supporter would believe if the con artist who is Donald Trump tweeted it out and then called black bears losers and disgusting.
Working class white folks, whose financial life has been in decline since the Pinto and the Maverick were killing them, continue to vote against their own interests time after time after time because the power structure, all rich white men, tell them the reason they are in decline is because of big government, Democrats, and of course the old stand by, minorities, chicks, gays, atheists, and immigrants. Now I don't happen to think that big government bothers them that much, other than kooks like that band of slimy freeloaders up in Oregon. But the rest of that really bothers them because the Republicans and the wealthy puppet masters make it abundantly clear that if it was like it was back in the good old days, when the women stayed home, and the blacks stayed in the hood, and the gays stayed in the closet, and the atheists stayed in their beatnik coffee houses and the immigrants stayed in Mexico, you too would be Koch like and wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. Wow, the shit goes down easy. Not like the medicinal truth that tastes so bad that the game is rigged, you lose, and you blame the other team for cheating while the referees pick both teams pockets, and blames it all on each other teams. It really is amazing.
It's never going to change. Well, not in my lifetime anyway. The income gap may grow so large that nobody can take it any longer and a French Revolution begins. It could happen.
But working class Americans have always had a bit of Mussolini in them. Make the trains run on time and all is well. Yeah I am getting fucked over on a daily basis, I know it, but how can I look up to blame someone when its so much easier to look down? That is the problem. Working class whites work their asses off, just as working class blacks and Asians and Hispanics do, but nothing gets better. The game is rigged, remember? The blacks and the Hispanics and the Asians know the game is rigged, the whites refuse to buy it. The white privilege is theirs, they are subjected to it daily, but they aren't getting it in their own minds. And scammers like Trump and Cruz and the rest of that sorry lot tap into it and it fucking works.
It is frustrating to watch every 2 years. Wake up, whitey. The man keeping you down isn't the guy just like you with a different shade of skin, It's the people telling you it is.
Friday, January 22, 2016
You can talk about violent crime all you want. You can fear it, you can excuse it, you can glorify it, but until you experience it, shut the fuck up.
Max's Mom was coming out of a grocery store the other afternoon like she had a thousand other times. Putting her groceries in the trunk like a thousand times before. But leaving her purse in the cart like only once before. This time. A Dodge Charger with two predators lurked nearby. They spotted the purse and leaped into action. A woman got out of the car and quickly came at Max's Mom. Max's Mom, a trusting sort, politely asked the woman if she wanted the cart. The woman said nothing. She grabbed the purse and began to tug, but Max's Mom instinctively tugged back to protect the 5 or so bucks because ahhh fuck you. The woman then began to punch Max's Mom, not a fighter, in the face, but she held onto that goddamned purse because hey fuck off. Max's Mom went down in a puddle of water and gunk and the woman was still determined to get that purse. Punching away until the man in the car grabbed her and said something like "this isn't working lets go", the two jack offs got back into the car and drove away, where they assaulted another woman a couple of miles away and did get her purse, after throwing her down some stairs.
Max's Mom has to be checked out by paramedics and sustained bruising to her face and a fat lip which from the side make her look almost Daffy Duck like. But the damage was way more than physical. The mental damage was devastating. She cannot stop crying. She cannot stop picturing this crazed woman coming at her and assaulting her without saying a word. She cannot stop thinking about how she thought she was going to die. For what? A purse? For money? For what?
You can say she should have given up the purse. Yeah that's probably true. But what would you do if someone began trying to take something of yours? Resist? Of course you would. I have always thought that the chances of me being killed in a situation like that is higher than normal because trust me, I'd fight to my own death to fuck people like that up. Oh I know I'd lose, but I'd go down trying. Max's Mom is the sweetest person I may have ever known. She is giving to a fault. Had this crazed woman walked up and asked for the $5 in her purse, she would have gotten it as a matter of charity. But no, people like that just take what they want. Violently.
Anyway, these two assholes were arrested today for the assaults on both Max's Mom and the other woman pushed down stairs for a her purse. The woman is 20. 20 goddamned years old and facing mandatory jail time because she was so hardened by whatever to take something that doesn't belong to her and becoming violent when denied. The man is 25 and probably no fucking good. And influential enough to take a 20 year old down with him.
I just hope that Max's Mom comes out of this intact. I think she will. She's strong and won't let two creeps take her spirit. But for now, she's scared silly.
Meanwhile, as for me, I'm just pissed. Pissed cuz I cannot do anything. I wasn't there. I just had to help clean up the mess of a woman I love in tatters. For that reason, I won't forgive. I hope they both rot.
Friday, January 15, 2016
Lawrence Phillips was the 2nd best running back (Billy Sims was #1) I've ever seen in person. I remember on a day in September of 1995 in East Lansing, Michigan sitting in the end zone with my Dad and some friends and seeing Lawrence Phillips run right at us on numerous occasions as nobody could stop him. He ran for 4 touchdowns that day, he ran for over 200 yards, and he kicked Nick Saban's ass. Arguably one of the greatest college football teams ever and since I'm prejudiced it was the greatest ever, Lawrence Phillips went back to Lincoln that night on top of the world. While we were drinking with Sparty fans that night, Lawrence Phillips, back in Lincoln, got a call. Somebody and nobody has ever owned up to it, told him that his girlfriend was with a teammate. Phillips went over to the teammates apartment, hell it was Scott Frost, climbed up the side of the building like a deranged Spiderman, entered the apartment, and the top of the world became the depths of hell. Everybody knows that he beat her up, dragged her by the hair down 3 flights of stairs, and his teammate hid in the bathroom. And the downward spiral of Lawrence Phillips began. He's dead now.
It's easy to say good, another convict is dead. The world is just that much lighter. He deserved all he got. Dismiss him as another bad apple who should have never seen the light of day.
I really don't think like that. I am not one who dances on graves. I am not one who celebrates the killing of people. That is as damaging to the human psyche as growing up in group homes, having no parents, being discarded as trash, made fun of, thinking of ones self as worthless. That is damage hard to overcome. And if you celebrate the death of Lawrence Phillips, what the hell happened to you you dont want to admit? Unless of course you are a Trump supporter, then there's no hope you'll ever look inside yourself for answers, you're just an asshole.
Lawrence Phillips was recruited by Tom Osborne to Nebraska out of high school. Phiilips had found his way by playing football. Osborne, who is a man of inner peace AND yes egomania, thought getting Lawrence out of Baldwin Hills and into the sleepy town of Lincoln would help him. And of course it would help Coach Tom win games. And it did. Quid pro quo. You help me, I help you.
But damage done to an 18 year old kid for ohhhhhh 18 years, doesnt get solved overnight. Guys like Phillips don't go from being abused and forgotten to The Waltons in a day and a half. The damage is always there. Like lead in the Flint, Michigan water supply. Phillips was a damaged kid. And despite the efforts of the only father he ever knew, Osborne, that night in September 1995 happened. Another perceived betrayal. Hey I am not excusing anything this guy did, I am just trying to both understand and explain.
Osborne threw him off the team the next day, rather, he suspended him. Some of us, me included, thought he should never have been allowed back on the filed like he was in November of 1995 against Iowa State. I was there that day and very very few people cheered when he entered the game. Very few. Anyone who says different is lying.
Another thing that bothers me about that whole deal. They say, and by they I mean people with their heads up their asses, say Tom Osborne reinstated Phillips because he needed him to win a national title. Bullshit. Ever heard of Hall of Famer Ahman Green? Yeah he was Phillips' backup. So though I am not an Osborne apologist (go ahead ask me about Tom's alleged sainthood and you'll get an earful), I will defend him in this instance. Nobody was going to beat Nebraska that year. Shit, Wilson Phillips could have run for 100 yards with that offensive line.
Lawrence Phillips is a tragedy. A waste of talent. A sad sad story. A story so common anymore that it just makes me shake my damn head more than anything. The self righteous reaction to this whole 20 year downfall really pisses me off.
Yes we know, if YOU had been given the opportunity he had, you wouldn't have blown it. For chrissakes, middle class white people have no fucking clue what guys like Phillips have been through. Their damage may come from one year they didn't get to go on spring break or didn't get the Air Jordans the whined about. Phillips' damage is real. It's not a fender bender, it's a violent head on collision.
So he's dead at age 40. Hanging in a cell I assume one day after he was cleared for trial on killing his cell mate, another fine example of damaged goods. So go ahead and celebrate it if you wish. I choose not to.
Lawrence, you may have been the greatest I ever saw, if, the damage hadn't been so great that your life was declared totalled. I can still see you running right at me that day. RIP man.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
The President came to Omaha today.The local news blabbered on and on and basically ruined the watching. But then the speech. And oh what a speech it was. Classic Obama.
1) The Rich Kid who is Governor of this state thanks to the R next to his name and the fact he ran against an even bigger asshole in the primary at first refused to greet the President at the airport. Not because his rock solid right wing nutjob principles wouldn't allow him to do so but because he was working so hard on his State of the State Address......wait....what the fuck is that? The State of the State? What state? State of what? I didn't even know this state had a state.
2) The Rich Kid changed his decaying mind and decided he would be found out as a small and petty man and decided to join the Mayor of Omaha who of course does not agree with anything Obama says but went to greet him cuz she's misguided but not small and petty. The Rich Kid then went back to writing his speech nobody gives rat's ass about.
3) Local news sucks no matter where you are. Goddamn, if I heard one more time the fact the blonde dumb chick and the plastic haired dimwit saw a car driving on a street and just had to tell you about it I was gonna run into traffic myself.
4) The local right wing radio station couldn't stop for one day hammering home the marching orders from the Heritage Foundation including one host who said, out loud, he wouldn't walk across the street to piss on Obama. Classy.
5) I like Obama. I really do. I think what he has put up with in the last 7 years is unprecedented. However, let the black dude loose. Who gives shit what the opposition thinks? They fucking hate you. You're black. So give em what they expect. One mad motherfucker. It's kind of gettin there, but its not yet enough to make little old white ladies think he's going to boil them and eat them.
So long, President Obama. Could you possibly have perhaps taken the Rich Kid with you?
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Living right across the river from the state where politicians tend to ass kiss and declare the love of corn and appeal to the religious nutjobs who permeate small towns I must also witness the television ads that are now part of the horridness of watching local news so you can see how many people got hurt in car wrecks (yes this is actual news here). The local news on occasion is awesome the other 99% is unwatchable. And now that the political ads have started, well, it's a chore.
The mouth that continues to roar is up and running his ad. The Trump nitwit parade has not only come to the local area in person, it is now telling everyone who will listen how the reality show star will cut heads off and steal cheap oil and ban all the Muslims from entering our beloved white enclave until " we figure out what is going on". That never fails to make me laugh, and then shake my head and eventually weep that this con man is in danger of winning a major political parties nomination. Oh good lord, of course he's not going to win, he is finished....what's that? He went up 5 more points?
The Trump ad is in its own way, pure unadulterated genius in its appeal to people who have no idea how things work, nor care. They want simplicity because it's simple and it brings them up to the level of the people they hate. Anybody who takes the time to learn of anything other than who will win The Voice. Strength in numbers. A political lynch mob. Hey all these people around me are just like me and yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Lets go back to the 1950's and after a few more Emmett Tills everything will be back the way it was when whitey ruled. And the top tax rate was 90%. Huh?
Another ad that has begun running for the wunderkind that desperate Republicans are turning to for guidance, Marco Rubio. Slapped with more pancake makeup than has been seen since Lillian Gish was running from the black faced rapists in Birth of A Nation, Rubio talks calmly about what a
Ted Cruz, the guy sailing along in Trump's drift, ready to pounce when Trump finally bows out. Letting Trumps racism and idiocy make himself look reasonable when he himself is far worse. Cruz is running ads where he goes back to that old Obummer gutted the military card. That golden oldie. Democrats hate the military. You know, cuz they don't start as many unnecessary wars that turn your hopeless children from small town loser to hero. Cruz, who I still insist could lick his nose if not stick his tongue right up into his diseased Canadian brain, is really the worst of them all. His ideas are not only wrong, but dangerous. And he waits, for the fanatics who make up Republican Iowa caucus goers, to bring the torches and ropes to the schools and fire stations of Iowa on that cold night in February where they will take back 'Murca for Jesus. The real Jesus not that illegal Hay-zeus.
And finally there's the hands of Doc Ben Carson. Talk about a guy wanting to lose! Reasonable and low key. Let's all join hands and make this country great. What the fuck is he thinking? Cmon Doc, where's the hate and bigotry and fear? You were in 2nd, now you'll be lucky to even get one overall clad dude to waddle over to your corner.
Oh political season in Iowa, and by really bad osmosis, us.
Saturday, January 2, 2016
What can I say? Did I ever tell you I think Quentin Tarantino is one sick fuck? I mean the guy is a nutcase along the lines of Mel Gibson's fascination with torture porn fetish but with an unhealthy need to go even further and throw in a few n bombs (about 60 or so here) along the way. Good gawd! The Hateful Eight is one sick piece of bloody garbage. But that in itself doesn't make it unwatchable. Because in the 167 minutes of this post Civil War gorefest, Tarantino proves again he CAN write some of the best dialogue you've ever heard, and some of the most juvenile bullshit you haven't heard since you were in the playground in 7th grade with your dumbfuck buddies. Love/Hate? You are correct.
1)The Hateful Eight is beautifully shot. It would have made a great IMAX travelogue about the mountains. Phenomenal cinematography.
2) Samuel L Jackson - there is no way that anybody writes dialogue for this guy. They just turn on the camera and let this guy go. Sam, you're a bounty hunter, a former Union officer, and everybody hates you and calls you a n****r every 2 or 3 minutes. Go with it. And he does, motherfucker. He is great. Well, except when he has to recite Tarantino written dialogue about marching some naked dude through the snow and then making him, uhhhhhhh, well, it aint pretty and it aint even clever. It's just like a 14 year old wrote it.
2)Kurt Russell-- a combination of Yosemite Sam and well, Yosemite Sam. Russell throws out the insults though a gigantic mustache while chained up to a beaten to a pulp Jennifer Jason Leigh. Yeah, he's great. Except when he has to, oh hell, that's in the hate section.
4) Walton Goggins, Bruce Dern, Michael Madsen, Tim Roth, Demian Bichir (the guy from The Bridge), and even Jennifer Jason Leigh most of the time. They are all great actors, forced to spew Tarantino's words like hot and cold running shower water...........ahhhhhhhh nice and warm ...Holy shit who flushed the fucking toilet...........shit, its ice cold.....
5) The story. It's a like a giant Clue game. Who's the bad guy? Is it the butler in the library with the knife? Hey man, it's the Hateful Eight. Figure it out.
1) Jennifer Jason Leigh. Not her personally, but the way she's treated in this tribute to racist, misogynistic, Trump like behavior. She spews out the N bomb so many times, that every time Kurt Russell or whoever belts her in the mouth it seems that because she is such a racist C word, that justifies beating her face to a pulp. And the audience laughs. Ha, look her teeth is all gone now. I found it a bit disturbing.
2)The blood. Oh for fucks sake, come on. I know it's a cartoon, but Tarantino, who as I stated can write some of the best dialogue ever (see first 20 minutes of Inglorius Basterds), chooses to go over the top time and time again. And the audience laughs up a storm. Look his head came clean off....hahahahaha. Again, a bit disturbing. What exactly IS the budget for fake blood in Tarantino movies?
3) That scene with Sam Jackson and the naked guy in the snow. So over the top. Nobody is gonna buy that, other than a dumb Bruce Dern, who because he's a stupid racist too, gets what's coming to him. Ugh!
4) Jennifer Jason Leigh's pivotal scene. It's torture porn, it's woman hating, and it's a scene of lingering snuff film type film making that should bother anybody who watches it. It did me. But hey, she done mouthed off too much, right?
The Hateful Eight! If you can't stop yourself from seeing it for the really great parts of dialogue, go ahead, it's worth it I guess. But for the rest of it, the gore, the gore, the gore, the gore, the n bombs, the gore, the misogyny, the gore, the racism, the gore, the gore, it may a be a long endeavor.
And just one more thing. Working the n bomb into a story that takes place during slavery times (Django) is one thing, but this time, come on? Ok, fine Max's Dad, thats how people talked back then. They dropped the N word like crazy right to a N words face, even if he was holding a gun. Really? And you know this how? It gets old. Really old. Really fast. I don't need to be constantly reminded of who is the bad guy or gal because the are so fucking stupid to call Sam Jackson a n****r to his face. I fucking get it, QT. I do.
Friday, January 1, 2016
First of all Happy New Year! Ok now that the tripe is out of the way cuz I have no say in how anybody's New Year goes, the annual New Years Eve ritual of staying off the streets and going to the movies is now over.
Being an old, New Years Eve is really nothing to get excited about. Two shitty football games, won by Southern teams who cheat better than the rest of the teams, Times Square revelers pimping a gym and not even noticing cuz hey its a free top hat and that makes me cool, and drunken CNN anchors telling Joan Rivers Lite she has a nice rack. Perhaps the greatest moment ever on CNN and that's not a high bar. So to avoid all that nonsense, and not consider ones self a total loser by going to sleep at 10 pm, we go to the movies where we celebrate hard with 10 or 11 others who had the same idea. Yay!
The Big Short was the movie of choice. It's a fine movie with lots of great actors, Steve Carell, who is shedding that MIchael Scott vibe better and better by the day, Christian Bale who is just never bad no matter what he does, Brad Pitt, who some dismiss as a lightweight pretty boy and with whom I couldn't disagree with more, Melissa Leo, in some weird cataract glasses and then the guy I can't stand, Ryan Gosling, in some strange dyed black hair and his usual understated persona. ZZZZZZZZZ! The guy just sends me into a trance.
Yes, the system is rigged. The "good guys" make a lot of money screwing the "bad guys" but the bad guys already have it rigged so they will make billions even when they get "screwed" over. The goddamned movie will make you sick to your stomach. And it will definitely make you stick a Bernie Sanders sticker on your car. Fuck Wall Street. Calm down, Max's Dad. It's over...let it go...until it happens again in 5 years.....
But the thing that made me even angrier was not the past....but what's coming up in the future.......and that includes this upcoming Michael Bay Benghazi movie called 13 Hours. The trailer played before the Big Short and oh my goodness, did it look like a complete masturbatory porno for right wing Hillary haters. Lots of muscular tough guys with guns including Micheal Scott's nemesis Jim Halpert (??) , and Pornstache from Orange is the New Black (??) to give conservatives everywhere a rager. I have no idea when Optimus Prime shows up and saves the day but the trailer for this piece of shit is just infuriating.
I won't go see it of course, just like I "didn't' go see that salute to liars and bigots "American Sniper". But plenty of people will cuz stuff blows up and a bunch of tough meatheaded 'Murcan soldiers will defy orders given by that wimp Obama and his lil bitch Hillary and go into the streets of Benghazi and attempt to save the day just to be stifled by that wimpy Obama and that anti-American Hillary, who has that husband with the wandering penis and blah blah blah....
Oh it will be grand...and I'm sure there's a scene of Obama and Hillary sitting in the war room laughing uncontrollably as heroic Americans die........Hey Hill, look at that guy, he just got his head blown off by my Islamic bro, hahahahahaha.......
Anytime you see anything called The "Secret History" of something, especially from the right, you can be rest assured, much like "based on a true story" that anything that follows is 100% Grade A bullshit.
So go ahead Hillary haters. Relive the 1970s by going to an actual theater showing porn. But take this tip from Max's Dad, sit in the back row. You never know, other than the bullets onscreen, what may come fling from behind you. Bennnnnnnnnghaaaaaaaaaaziiiiiiiii!!!