Monday, April 28, 2014

Somebody Puncture My Eardrums, Please?

A screeching barn owl spoke to the geniuses attending the National Rifle Asshat convention over the weekend. This screeching barn owl , aka The Quitta from Wasilla, got the really stupid, "stupid on steroids" is how she put it, to raise to their feet and cheer when she said that sticking a person's face underwater and damn near drowning them was "baptizing" them. Goddamn, Sarah Barn Owl, what would your precious Jesus say to that? John the Waterboarder might be a bit pissed too.

This woman, who is running around the country endorsing candidates her special pollsters have told her would win, cuz ya know a barn owl is very wise and is never wrong, pops up on political commercials and proceeds to make people bang on their TV's as they wonder what the fuck that loud obnoxious sound is?

Back to NRA speech. I always thought baptism was the cleansing of man's original sin. You know, that thing where naked blonde Adam was set up by that bitch, blonde naked Eve and that talking snake. If I remember my Catholic brainwashing correctly, that's the first of way too many sacraments, some of which you never ever want to get. Like the Last Rites or that whole stupid Confirmation deal.

Sarah Palin took a giant dump on Christianity. Yet, most of her gun totin hilljack crowd were too fucking stupid to see it. If this grifter can pull off a blasphemous comparison of baptism and torture and get wild applause I guess this shows just how incredibly dumb her audience is.

Wow, just a few years back, she was braggin and gloatin about her own baptism, in which a different Alaska Charlatan stuck her face in Lake Alaska and how her life was all hopey and changey. Now she's jokin and kiddin about torturin those Mooslims with the same sacrament that changed her life?

Goddammit thanks again, John McCain for unleashing this fury on us back in 2008. You should be proud. After the torture you endured in Hanoi for years, why would you torture the rest of us with that screaming hawk?

I guess the only good thing about this Sarah Palin thingy is she's getting older and will soon be killing conservative boners in favor of a different screeching eagle from South Dakota. Or for you Donald Sterling conservatives who hate the blacks during the day but like em at night there's always the Utah Aunt Tom.

Anyway, enjoy the Sarah Palin stiffy while you can, cuz if you look closely this is getting closer and closer.

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