Saturday, April 5, 2014


Sorry but I gotta go local here for a bit.

Years ago in college when assigned a semester of covering the Nebraska Legislature for the campus newspaper, I had to sit on the floor of this esteemed place and witness the carnage of lawmaking. Back in the 70's, oh yeah, there were plenty of dipshits and rubes shuffling around the legislative chamber but there was also a certain vibe of progressive thought going on among most of the Omaha and Lincoln legislators. It was the 1970's after all. There were urban people trying desperately to drag the state into at least the 1950's. They mostly failed but hey they tried. Fuck, not anymore.

The Nebraska Legislature is unique. There is one house of 49 "Senators". There's no House just what is called a "Unicameral". One house. 49 people. That's it. Sounds good, right? None of that dumb Kansas House of Representatives shit to wallow through. None of that South Dakota garbage to be embarrassed by. Wrong.

This week, the Nebraska Legislature took up a bill that would ban employers of more than 15 people from canning people for who they are. It would bar Joe Aguirre down at the corporate farm from canning Ennis and Jack cuz they like to go fishing together and maybe fool around in the tent cuz of being gay and in love or whatever.

The numbers are there to pass this bill. But legislative Jesus lovers aren't going for that shit. Not so fast there, Mango.

Beau McCoy, a born again Baptist shitheel and candidate for Governor and Mark Christensen, a gun fondler and genuine dumbfuck began filibustering because of certain political erections they get when addressing dumb people.. Christensen, and again I cannot emphasize how stupid this Imperial Idiot is, cited "proof" that because one identical twin can be straight and the other is gay proves that being all swishy is not genetic but a choice. Yeah see, cuz if it was then both would be gay cuz of DNA and stuff.

McCoy on the other hand is just an opportunistic jackoff. Running for Governor is tough here in Jesus-aska. Which numbnut can be more "conservative"? It's a race to the Capitol Building for Beau McCoy. Is it ironic that McCoy and the rest of these candidates want to get an office in a building that looks like a giant dick?

Anyway, the gay rights bill is stalled because these two closet cases are so deadset against people being who they are. When Senator Annette Dubas cited her own gay brother leaving the state because he did not feel welcome in the state he grew up in, McCoy, who apparently knows her brother better than she does, said he probably left because of high taxes. Right Beau, and because of dickheads like you.

The amazing thing about this whole blah blah blah debating bullshit is the shift in the bigoted thinking. No longer content with the "homos are immoral" and "it says right here in my Bible" nonsense, it has suddenly become the "some of my best friends are queers, I mean gay" argument. Hey, I don't have anything against the gays, it's just that the poor oppressed Christians are the ones who will be victims here. And we cannot have discrimination against anyone in this state, except of course for the homos, who ARE REALLY THE ONES WHO ARE INTOLERANT. Hate hate hateful homos. Get back in the closet and I'll sneak in there later. Wink Wink.

To listen to this "debate" is painful and me, being a fucking masochist, can't stop watching. It makes me reflect back to my days of observing these people in the 70's. Back when they tried to eliminate the death penalty, decriminalized weed possession, passed bills to preserve public power, and attempted to use the wind and the sun to power the state. Back when there were people who realized that time moves on, and that an 1800 year old book of fairy tales is just that. 1800 years old and complete bullshit.

Nowadays, these backtrackers are all over the place. Trying to take society back to when the white men ruled, the minorities all shut up and took it, the womenfolk stayed put and had babies, and most of all, the closet was closed and gays all acted like Rock Fucking Hudson and Joan Fucking Crawford.

I know these idiots don't believe in evolution. But for chrissakes, don't believe in de-volution. The rest of us want to move on.

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