Thursday, May 22, 2014

Weddings And Funerals!

Hey it finally happened. Cam and Mitchell tied the knot on Modern Family. A gay wedding on a mainstream sitcom at 8pm Central on a network where kids from all over the Midwest can watch and be corrupted. It was fabulous! I used to watch the Tony Awards just so I could see the inevitable moment when two guys I never heard of in a play I never heard of smooched. Take that bigotry! Of course nobody of the bigotry persuasion would be caught dead watching the Tonys, instead they were probably watching two hot chicks slurping each other on the computer cuz that's normal.

Modern Family is a show that quite frankly I can take or leave. I don't really like that idiot Phil Dunphy or his shrew of a wife, Clare. I really don't care about their two stupid kids and the one genius kid who copies Lisa Simpson jokes from 1998 either. But Cam and Mitch. And Lilly. Those guys are gold. They are three characters on a network sitcom that stand so far above 95% of the other sitcom idiots (not you, Leslie Knope or you, Ron Swanson or you, Sue Heck or you, Brad Bottig or you,geeky little Goldberg kid). The fact is these are two guys and their little girl who you can honestly give a shit about.

The gay wedding aspect of the show, which went on and on and on and on, proves one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt. You homophobes are finished. Why? Because the wedding was so goddamned annoying by the end of it (not you Nathan Lane) that the fact it involved the gays didn't fucking matter. It was just as drawn out and tedious as any other television show wedding. Get on with it!!!

Congrats to the gays. Your fake weddings (and probably your real ones) are just as big of a chore to watch as everybody else's. Take that Middle America. Now you have twice as many pain in the ass weddings to endure on that there TV.

Hey wasn't Ann Romney supposed to do something on this thing? Yeah fat chance. Still licking her wounds flipping switches on the car elevators listening to Madame Butterfly I'm sure.

On the other extreme concerning the gay takeover of 'Merica what in the fuck is up with the Idaho State Veteran's Cemetery? Not letting poor old Navy veteran Madelynn Taylor to be buried next to her spouse, Jean Mixner, at that cemetery? Oh wait, they're what??? Married? But not really? Christ, Idaho, you're confusing me.

Ok, I sort of get it now. California weddings are not recognizable in Idaho? Legal weddings from California don't count in Idaho? Take it away, Idaho Gov'ner Butch Otter, yep that's his name.

"The veteran's cemetery rules require a valid marriage certificate in order for a spouse to be buried with a veteran."

Ok check. They have that. Go on, Butchie.

"Idaho's Constitution does not recognize same-sex marriage.

Idaho has a Constitution? Wow, I'll bet there's some good readin' in that thing. A state that elects a guy named "Butch Otter" has got to have a sense of humor. Ok, Governor Otter, proceed.

"The voters spoke in 2006 by passing an amendment to our Constitution defining marriage as between a man and a woman. I am defending their decision and the Idaho Constitution in federal court, so I'm not going to comment any further."

Oh I see now. You are licking the voters ass now. You should be proud.

Butch Otter, the aforementioned Governor of Idaho, is firmly on the side of denying a United States Navy Veteran her legal rights to be treated like ever other veteran. Like shit apparently.

Madellyn Taylor, a crusty old fighter, isn't going to stop fighting your wimpy ass, Butch. And judging from Butch's record, she is going to kick his ass. You see, Butch Otter sent from 1968 to 1973 defending the state of Idaho from commies in the Idaho National Guard. Hmmmm, what was it about 1968-1973 that would make Butch join the Guard? No idea.

Butch Otter, the old smooth dog he is, married the daughter of billionaires back in the 1960's and then one day, he met a former Miss Idaho 25 years his junior and the billionaire wife went bye bye. Well it was either that OR he finally figured out his wife's name was "Gay Simplot". Gay??? Ewwww!

Anyway, Butch Otter, Governor of a state so crazy that he, Otter, is considered sane, is going to lose. He will lose because right triumphs. Madelynn Taylor is right. Not far right. Just right.

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