Monday, February 3, 2014

Super Bowl? But It's Only 8 Days Till Pitchers And Catchers Report!

Seattle won. Denver lost. I don't care since I pretty much cannot stand either of them. I kept myself "interested" by reminding myself of the utter misery Broncos fans were going through at every moment yet I also was saddened by the fact most of them were too baked to give a damn. Lucky bastards. I kept myself "interested" by realizing that Seattle residents were holding off on the suicides for about 3 hours and would resume shortly thereafter. Then they threw Denver around like a fishmonger throws around a salmon so I guess the suicidally depressed will have to wait till Thursday. By the way Seattle fan, don't do it, the Mariners report to spring training next week. Did that really help?

Despite the fact that by about 6:00 pm local time I was ready to watch a tape of a late September Mariners-Rockies game on MLB-TV rather than the debacle put forth by the NFL, I also kept myself "interested" by waiting for the highly touted Super bowl commercials.

I kept myself "interested" through the Coke ad that had people singing America in them funny foreign languages. Goddamn, I was so happy knowing that the real 'mericans would be so pissed they'd take to Twitter and make assholes of themselves in an oh so public manner. Thanks, right wingers. They did so much better than I thought with their outrage. But I was really happy that so many of the ignoramuses confused the Star Spangled Banner with the actual song being sung by the "illegals", America the Beautiful. Ignorance is temporary but dumb is forever. Oh and by the way, "patriots", Chik Fil A only serves Coke products so good luck on that there "boycott" of Coke.

The Budweiser ad with the puppy and the horse. Adorable.And that song? Ermegurd. Passenger's Let Her Go was so sugary I gladly accepted the diabetes coma that went along with listening. I'm still smiling at that one though I'm still boycotting Budweiser because it tastes like horse piss and that ad just reminded me of that fact.

Any ad with Bob Dylan music in it is a big thumbs up with me. But who knew? Bob Dylan can actually speak in a clear voice.. So then why, asked Max, can't he sing in other than a croak? I'll give Max the same answer I gave him last year while seeing Dylan. Because Bob Dylan can do whatever he wants.

I've never been one to hate on Tim Tebow. Just didn't seem worth the time. And who could argue that Tim Tebow, or Tim Conway for that matter, could have put up 8 points for Denver in that rout yesterday. But the ads Tim Tebow did for T Mobile were freakin great. Sorry about the salty language, Tim.

The Cheerios ad. The interracial family. A gigantic fuck you to the right wingers. Sorry, I don't work for those MSNBC pussies so nobody's getting sent to Gitmo here. Didn't even address the right wing freak out, just made the family normal everyday folks. Yessss.....

But the best ad of all was also the most disturbing,. Doberhuahua!!!! I was horrified, happy, horrified, happy, horrified, happy and then very very happy that Sarah McLaughlin has a sense of humor and can actually make me howl along with making me weep. Good job, was it Audi?

And last but not least, I was shocked, I mean shocked, that Bruno Mars was that entertaining. Oh I'm not going to run off to see him or anything but the man is damn good at what he does. I was even pissed that they threw that turd into the Mars punchbowl that were the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And I like the RHCP's. But that was a boner killer of a 5 minutes. Bruno even made me forget how peeved I was that the Boss wasn't doing the Jersey Super Bowl.

But the big game is over now. Till next season when I can get all yawny over the next matchup. The Cardinals and the Chargers.

Till then, bring on pitchers and catchers!

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