Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Three Scandals Walk Into A Bar!

SCANDAL!! Worse than Watergate! Worse than Iran Contra! Worse than a James O'Keefe video! Nobama, the Kenyan Socialist Acorn elected pretender President is so evil, he is now embroiled in three scandals worse than My Lai, or the persecution of Dick Nixon, or a James O'Keefe video!

The first scandal is so egregious, so foul, so O'Keefeish, it's enough to not only have Nobummer impeached, but deported back to one of his home countries, Kenya, Indonesia, or Hawaii! The IRS, you know, those guys who steal your money so we can go to unnecessary wars and give tax breaks to corporations and rich job creators, put a little extra scrutiny on social welfare organizations like Tea Party Sez Fuck Obama and Patriots Who Want To Shoot Obama just to make sure they weren't abusing that tax exempt status by doing any of that extra social welfaring like buying tri corner hats, Dont Tread On Me flags or hilarious giant pictures of Barack Hussein Obama with bones through his nose or a Hitler 'stache. How dare they? Goddammit, House Republicans are all outraged that these fine, upstanding government money sucking leeches who hate the deficit and black guys were being harassed by NOT having their tax exempt status revoked thus increasing said deficit. Impeach now!

Scandal # 2 is almost as bad as Scandal # 1. Hey, in fact now that I'm writing about it, it IS! What is it again? Oh yeah, some Fox News guy, James Rosen, or was it the liberal media Associated Press, nah it must be James Rosen of Fox cuz we all know Republicans HATE the liberal media and don't care if every lib in the media was beaten to death by the descendants of Bull Connor, had his phone records subpoenaed by the Department of Injustice led by evil black guy junior, Eric Holder. Why? Well it seems Rosen let a story go about the CIA knowing North Korea was gonna launch a missile powered by baking soda or something and that the CIA has an "inside source" in North Korea. OOPS! Well thanks to that great patriot, Mr.Rosen, the CIA USED to have an inside source. Sucks for that guy. So Holder, devil horns intact, went to a court of law and had Rosen's phone records looked at to try and plug the leak. Damn Holder, going to court and shit. Why not just wipe your ass with a flag?

Scandal #3 is almost as bad as 1 & 2 combined. In fact, it IS! Benghazi. Geez, even I'm bored trying to make fun of that one. 4 people were murdered. By an Al Qaeda inspired mob. Everybody knew it by September. And it cost Mitt Romney the election cuz Obama covered it up so that everybody knew what happened 6 weeks before the election. Now I know Americans are kind of stupid, oh ok, very stupid, but 6 weeks is more than enough time to work yourselves into a lather over something you all knew about anyway. Poor Mittens. I can still see his face when Candy Crowley kicked him in his magic jock strap. Hee Hee!

Maybe some day, all of this will be over. But Republicans just love the smell of scandal in the morning. Smells like.....hypocrisy.

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