Saturday, June 29, 2013

Did Something Happen This Week?

Wow, what a week. It was so hard to keep up but let's give a shot.

Edward Snowden? Who the fuck is he again? If I remember from looking at his picture, isn't he the guitarist from f.u.n. or Of Monsters and Men or something? I'll get back to him if I can remember what he did. Something to do with telling me something so obvious that only the dreamiest, utopia seeking pollyanna stargazer could not have known. Hmm, I'll think of it.

Voting Rights Act? Yep, Diana Scalia and the 4 Supremes decided that since Republicans have no shot at winning a Presidential election anytime soon, they'd try and win it for them. By suppressing the vote of all those pesky minorities and uppity chicks. Seems back in 1964 a bunch of southern states liked their all white citizens councils, their all white juries, their all white gubmint and their all white polling places and they didn't wanna give that up so they beat the shit out of any minority loudmouth or northern agitator that threatened their little fiefdom. Then LBJ came along and said hey, fuck you Dixie! And voila! The Voting Rights Act came along and leveled the playing field. Well, about 48 years of that experimental shit has been about enough cuz after all, we have a Kenyan socialist as President, twice. Heyyyyyy, we didn't want it to go that far!

So the VRA is no more and literally hours, two to be exact, Texas started to put the kibosh to any of that ethnic voting rights shit. Show me your conceal carry card, you're in. Show me your student ID, you are out. Don't mess with Texas y'all.

Wendy Davis. The best Texan since Molly Ivins, or Ann Richards, or Jim Hightower. This woman talked and talked for hours on end to stop those Texas Republican misogynists and their useful female idiots from passing a law that banned abortion effective right after the Texas sodbuster full of Lone Star spotted that cute lil waitress he knows wants it. Senator Davis, who is now target # 1 of the Texas Voting Rights Act Sucks Assholes, eventually got shut down by pricks like Texas Lieutenant Goober David Dewhurst, the guy who actually lost to Senator Ted Cruz (Canadian-Tx). But the people of Texas let loose with such a commotion that the Republicans couldn't get the bill passed. So much commotion the Texas Republicans resorted to what all Republicans do as their first instinct. They cheated. Attempted to past post the vote. Dewhurst, you been watching The Sting again?

Rick Perry. What this dick's mission is is beyond me. This dumbshit can't be content with wasting taxpayer money by calling yet another special session of that band of drooling armadillo roadkill called the Texas Legislature. No, he has to call out Wendy Davis in front of a Pro-Life band of unfuckable prunes. You're a class act, Rickie.

And oh yeah? What the gays now have to get married? Gay Marriages on TV 24/7? Gay Marriages in your church all day Sunday? Gay Marriages at the shootin range? Well that's how the right wing reacted. 4 times married El Rushbo was apoplectic, serial adulterer Newtie Gingrich was beside himself, and already gay married Michele Bachmann was for some reason really upset. Well good for the gays. You now can get married in 13 states by an Elvis impersonator or at a drive thru window and be just as married as those idiots who spend $50K and get married by some scam artist claiming to have a hotline to the Lord.

Rand Paul. This fuckstick get loonier and loonier by the day. Hell, at least his Daddy would make sense for about 30 seconds until the tin foil hat collapsed and off into crazyland he'd go. Rand Paul, in that age old tradition of lunatic Republicans, immediately goes to the marrying an animal card. No, Rand, you will never be able to marry an animal. You see, Rand, animals can't say yes. Kind of like that muskrat you got second hand from Donald Trump that sits on your head didn't say yes.

Ed Snowden? Still hasn't come back to me. I guess he's moving to Ecuador. Is there a big alternative rock scene down there? Have fun in your new home. Anyway Ed, in salute to your new home to be,¡chinga tu madre!

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