Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Rock Chalk Koch!

I live in Nebraska, a relatively quiet state full of nice folks with quaint 19th century views on things. Our state government is kind of milquetoast, not much goes on, crazy ass bills don't get passed, and the Governor is a diminutive little man who showed up at a Tea Party rally and looked like me at a funeral in a church. Yeah, I have to come here but this place and these people give me the creeps. So here in Nebraska, we aint that nuts. Oh we still don't much care for the Mexicans, the gays give us the willies and the Vaginal-Americans are getting a bit uppity with their havin sex and gettin pregnant and not wantin to birth the future Republican fetuses but all in all, we Nebraskans are a moderate lot.

But go south, gawd forbid, and it gets weirder and weirder and its getting too goddamned close for my comfort level.

Kansas is just south of us in more ways than one. Kansas used to send sane people like Bob Dole and Nancy Kassenbaum to the Senate where they argued their conservative views in a way that didn't send some of us into a bunker. But Kansas has changed since the Wichita based Kochsucker Brothers started throwing around their billions convincing Kansans that The United Nations was in Missouri heading their way and that the Sacking of Lawrence was actually a good thing because Lawrence, home of the state university, is full of educated people who can figure out the Kochsuckers are evil robber barons. Kansas has gone nuts since 2010 when they elected a Jesus freak named Sam Brownback as Governor and a legislature full of brainless roadkill tea party Republicans.

Got HIV or AIDS? Well in Kansas, the legislature tried to repeal a law that forbade the quarantining of such folks. Yep, the Kansas House and Senate passed it and Brownback (wasn't that a character in that Liberace' movie?) put his X on it. But don't worry, the Kansas state health department assures everyone that won't happen. The state health department also assures us that abortions cause breast cancer, condoms lead to pregnancy, abstinence is a lot of fun, and the sunflower is not a gigantic pretty weed.

A couple of years ago, Brownie and the legislature boys (there cannot possibly be any women in this idiotic club, can there?) passed an anti-Sharia law bill that keeps the Muslim honor killings out of Kansas. Of course the Christian honor killings of abortion doctors are a-ok with the Jesusy Kansas hierarchy. Yeah it is now against the law in Kansas to honor Sharia Law, a HUGE problem in Dodge City or Garden City. This solves a problem that has haunted Kansans since.....never.

Kansas legislators, a dubious term at best, have also suggested hunting "illegals" by chopper with some guy shooting at them like burrito carrying buffalo, want science teachers to openly question evolution in classrooms, want to ban the teaching of climate change, want to deny any sort of state money to those commie wind farms, ban abortions in all cases and make it illegal for abortion provider workers from volunteering at their kids schools, and take the fluoride outta the water in Wichita cuz it causes brain damage. Hey, I've been to Wichita, they may have a point.

Anyway, years back I read a book by Thomas Frank called What's The Matter With Kansas? He questioned why people would continually vote with the Kochsuckers and against their own economic interests. I've got the answer. What's the Matter With Kansas?


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