Saturday, June 22, 2013

A Town Full Of Heels!

Wrestling. A really old sport. An ancient sport. A sport with some of the weirdest fans ever. I'm not talking about those idiots who go to that fake wrestling soap opera shit, I'm talking about the real wrestling where people enjoy watching short, squat muscleheads with Napoleon complexes roll around on a floor grabbing each others junk and wearing weird looking onesies.

Norwood, Colorado has such wrestling fans. Never heard of it? Yeah me either and from what I've heard the town should be on your anti-bucket list for visiting.

Seems the school in Norwood, nicknamed the Mavericks cuz they are all so mavericky or something, has pretty much taken sides with a couple of wrestlers who think duct taping a 13 year old boy down and jamming a pencil up his ass is pretty funny shit. Yeah, the "victim" here is the principal's son and the two "offending" boys are the wrestling coach's kids. Did I mention this town full of rubes won a state wrestling title recently? So you guess who won this battle. Yep, that pansy ass who actually complained about being violated by a couple of he-men with a foreign object had to leave town after being harassed by his fellow students who I assume enjoy having things jammed into them against their will by repressed closet cases. Yeah. Go Mavs!

Wrestling is the toughest sport I ever attempted in high school. I was actually a member of the all boys school wrestling team for a short period of time. Yep, beating the team's 175 pounder in a gym class really was not a smart idea. So I got hooked into this stupid ass sport for a few matches. I lost a lot. My only redeeming value as a wrestler was my super secret move I would pull out of my repertoire on occasion. I never knew when this move would come on, but it was deadly. Absolutely devastating. My nose would bleed at the slightest touch at age 16. Gawdam was that a killer move. It won me two matches. Out of 17. Hey it was the 70's and none of that disease stuff was around yet. So bleeding all over some dude and a mat and grossing him out and leaving him open to a pin as some wild haired bleeding maniac was grabbing him and snorting and scaring the crap out of him did not make a referee stop the "bout".

But let me tell you. Wrestlers are an odd sort. I was 6 feet tall which meant I was at least 6 inches taller than any of the rest of them. I was a regular Andre the Giant so they didn't mess with me. But the others. Wow, was that some strange behavior. I stopped showering at the school and would go home and do so just to avoid witnessing some of these bizarre antics. Towel snapping, dry humping, good lord it was like being in movie prison. And that was the coaches. No, I kid.

Around the country there are hundreds of these type of incidents on a yearly basis. And a shitload of them involve wrestlers. And it always involves sodomy of some sort. And these small towns (I'm looking at you Harlan Iowa) band together to support the rapists and blame the victim for reporting it and making their town full of clodhoppers look bad. Yeah take it like a man, Mickie! Oh wait, they did. Too bad in their support of sodomizing athletes who make their town look good, these same yokels would run a gay person out of town. Funny how that works, if you rape somebody, that's good, if you actually welcome the same act, it's bad.

Hey they don't call them Bum Fuck Colorado (or name your state) for no reason!

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