Thursday, January 24, 2013

Where 51-47 Means A Loss!

Voter suppression didn't work. Chrissakes, those minorities and sluts all stood in line for hours to vote for Obummer just to stick it in the white man's, I mean, Republicans eye. Ok smart guys, the ever changing Republican party has a "new" plan and Virginia is the place to give it a go. You know, Virginia, the place where those dumbfucks who make up West Virginia (so clever!) fled to get away from.

Virginia Republican legislators have concocted a plan to make goddamned sure that no more Dumbocrats ever wins Virginia's precious electoral votes. A bill has passed through a subcommittee to ensure white people determine who becomes Virginia's choice no matter what them urban types say.

The bill would apportion electors by congressional district to the candidate who wins each of the state's 11 districts. The candidate who carries a majority of the districts would also win the two electors not tied to congressional districts. Sen. Charles W. "Bill" Carrico, R-Not Urban, said the change is necessary because Virginia's populous, urbanized areas such as the Washington, D.C., suburbs and Hampton Roads can outvote rural regions such as his, rendering their will irrelevant. What a shame.

Hey Bill, that's how elections work. Somebody actually voted for your dumb ass? I live in a state full of some of the greatest 18th century minds this side of the Missouri River! Now being one of them urbans myself, I regularly get outvoted by rubes and clodhoppers who live west of Lincoln whose genetic makeup forces them to vote for anything featuring that godly inspired R. Yeah it's frustrating knowing people whose very existence is in opposition to mine are winning but what the hell, that's how it works. I could move across the river but that would mean I was an Iowan and that is not acceptable. It's bad enough having a toad like Lee Terry (R-Nerd) being my rep but Steve King (R-Insane)? I'd rather sit in a room listening to Rand Paul drone on about Aqua Buddhas and that Ayn Rand bullshit.

We all know what this is about. It's the Republican party trying to stave off death. If by surviving it means the return of Jim Crow laws well fuck it, that's what it means. These people are so desperate to move backward their next move is to call in Dr. Emmett Brown and Marty McFly.

Hey, I thought the Republican party was going to change. You know, like reach out to the browns and the negroes and the broads and the moes with some bold new ideas that didn't involve keeping them in their fucking place. Guess that's out the window.

These fucking people will never change. They can't. I've said it for years. It's genetic. Installed into their DNA somewhere by a white creator is some sort of Adam complex. We were here first, despite all those casino people, and things only went wrong when the women got all uppity and the urbans came over here on cruise ships and the browns started climbing the walls and the gays recruited all the kids in schools to be gay against their will.

The Republican Party! Old ideas become new again. Like Mittens 1916 Navy idea. And unfortunately, one James Crow if need be.

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