Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Oh Yeah, Well If Like Only Fox News Could Vote, You'd Have Probably Lost!
Yep Uncle and Aunt Sam, your boy lost. That guy you so identified with as of about October 3rd or so when you discovered he was white. Oh well, I think the casino buffet stays open till at least 11.
The excuses have begun. They are so entertaining. And as delusional as Fox News was right up to the point that the numbers nerds in the basement declared Obama the winner and were visited by that hot blonde from upstairs who was ordered by Karl Rove to go downstairs and distract them while he ran and hid from his billionaire owners.
Hurricane Sandy was the talking point that seemed to dominate most of the blamers like that fat Southerner Haley Barbour and the serial sex harasser Bill O'Reilly. Romney's bullet train like momentum was derailed by Sandy they said. Man, if Sandy hadn't happened because of the gays, why Romney would've beaten the Kenyan usurper by at least 90% to 10% and that's if Obama cheated.
The fact checkers were biased against Mittens. Why, they would say things like hey Mittens, you said the exact opposite of whatever it is you just said five minutes ago. How dare they? Hey Paul Ryan, that GM plant closed under Bush. Fact checkers? Bahhhh. Romney claimed Obama ended welfare work requirements and claimed he caused Chrysler to move Jeep jobs to China. Well just because its 100% false doesn't mean its not true.
Voters are idiots. Well about 47.82% of them are. So that whine is sort of true. For chrissakes, if you can't get what you want by spending $900 million lying to the idiots, well then, exactly who are the idiots?
White people are the minority. Well with logic like that, who can argue? I mean when 71% of the voters are white, what more of a minority can you be? Makes you long for the good old days when only white male property owners could vote.
Chicks are so emotional. It's a well know biological fact that women vote on an emotional basis while men vote based on logic and facts. Just ask Ted Nugent. If only women would vote like dudes, none of this shit would be happening. OH MY GOD, I need to go buy more guns before Obama passes more anti gun laws!!! Stupid chicks!
Chris Christie! That "gelatinous clown" as some loser from the American Expectorator magazine (that is still around) referred, caused Mittens to lose. Oh I know Christie took 18 minutes to mention Romney's name when nominating him, and I know Christie praised Obama for his handling of Sandy, and I know he made Steve Douchey of Fox & Friends look even dumber than he usually does, and I know he didn't vote for Romney but for the love of sweet jesus, who wouldn't have loved to do all that?
And my faves. The Tea party! Mitt Romney wasn't conservative enough. After the teabaggers were all enthusiastic about that plutocrat job killer's candidacy and rushed off to the polls to sweep Mittens to the Oval Office, he lost big? But all you tri corn hatted nitwits voted for him, right? Yeah that's it. Keep it up.
Please Republicans, keep the hate alive. Keep fooling yourselves that Americans are all in your corner. All Americans hate the gays, hate taxes, hate the Mexicans, hate Obama, want to go to war with everybody, want to destroy Medicare and Social Security after you're done with it of course, and live in the Cleaver household. Keep Hope alive republicans! It makes me look forward to 2016 when another Democrat like Corey Booker or Hillary Clinton or the taco truck guy kick your boring white guy's ass again.