Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Nyah Nyah Nyah Goodbye!
Well by now you've heard so many not at all racist sore losers are really hacked off that a Hawaiian won re-election as POTUS. So they are doing their patriotic duty by getting out and working really hard so their state can petition the United States Government to let them go form their own nation. And by working real hard I mean reaching over with the hand that's not stuffing a chip into their mouths and typing their name on an online petition requesting secession.
That may the BEST idea I may have ever heard. To force the White House to respond by first laughing and then taking down your name for placement on some sort of nut list each state must gather 25,000 names. Let's all guess which states have already reached that 25,000 crazy minimum. Yep, Texas is numero uno with over 100,000 Rick Perry oopsters ready to leave the Union. So can you guess the other 6 states that have that many brain dead Victoria Jacksons living there? You got it. Congrats cuz I know y'all chose Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, North Carolina and Tennessee. All have the necessary 25,000. Cmon Mississippi, get with it. There's gotta be somebody down there savvy enough to teach ya how to point and click. Kentucky is probably all distracted by their crooked basketball team and being moonshined up but they'll get on the ball soon enough. Arkansas, you are so close, so close, ask Mikey Huckabee for some help. Oklahoma, cmon now, Sharia law is right around the corner and I found a fetus in my Spam the other day so you better Boomer sooner than later.
I am imploring you, Obama administration. Get rid of these bloodsucking Dixie whistling losers. Though they think they contribute to society by supplying the cannon fodder that goes into the defense industries profit margins, they really don't. They suck tax money out of blue states faster than Confederate troops shooting Stonewall Jackson. They really don't want to be here anyway. I mean Roots is considered commie propaganda and their favorite Spielberg scene is when the Amistad crew sent a bunch of Obama voters to the bottom of the sea.
No I kid the South. I've been there, uhhhhh, never. Unless you count Texas that is. The place where some drunken lout tried to claim the moon in the sky was exclusive to Texas and that I couldn't see it up here.
So I'm torn here. Hey, if Dixie went away again, yeah we'd lose 29 electoral votes from Florida but the bad guys would lose 133 electoral votes and the Prez wins 303-73 and we get to sleep at about 7:30 every 4 years.
By my rather limited math skills, if Dixie went bye bye, Obama wins popular vote by 53-47% and that's when it's close.
Ok, I am convinced. Fort Sumter has been attacked. The South has seceded. I yawn.
Please. Do it!