Monday, February 8, 2016

Another Stupor Bowl!

Can Newton is a poor sport. He's a baby, a sore loser, a dancing fool. and a crybaby. Did you see him get up and leave the press conference after the game? Geez, he wouldn't even answer the stupid fucking questions of a pack of jackals living off expense accounts and being half drunk. Wow, that Cam Newton is sure a bastard.

Then we have Peyton Manning, the golden boy, the wily old veteran ready to go out on top. What a class act. Peyton has been nothing but classy throughout his illustrious career despite sounding like a cross between Huckleberry Hound and Forrest Gump. Peyton won the Super Bowl in probably his last at bat. Oh celebrate America, the All American boy has gone out on top.

All of this is of course 100% unadulterated bullshit.

Peyton Manning went out like the whore he is. Kissing a right wing drunk named Papa John and then shilling for a brand of horse piss that comes straight from the urinary system of a Clydesdale. Manning, instead of enjoying his moment of glory thanks to the Denver defense, decided to come off as a pitchman and a flipping carnival barker. I am surprised he didn't sing that fucking Nationwide jingle "Nationwide is your best defense" while accepting that trophy. Yep, he's your hero, America. Just don't tell the truth about him, or he'll send his goons after you.

Hey, I have no skin in this game, I hate both of these teams. Denver Broncos fans are piss bomb throwing baboons who enrich the husband of a plastic faced woman who has no idea what football even is. Carolina Panthers fans all look like some mullet wearing bounty hunter swilling shine out of a mason jar. So I really couldn't have cared less who won that overblown shitfest. The highlight of my Super Bowl day was watching a 30 for 30 about the greatest team ever, the 1985 Chicago Bears, being appalled by a puppymonkeybaby, or pumping my fist for Beyonce's tribute to the Carolina Black Panthers. So that boring ass game didn't matter to me.

However, the different reactions to Cam Newton's hissy fit and Peyton Manning's whoring drive me crazy. What possibly could be the difference between an angry young quarterback and a 39 year old ho? Hmmmmm, I wonder.

1 comment:

Jerry Critter said...

The NFL is the WWF of "professional sports".