Friday, May 17, 2013

Worse Than Watergate!

The talking points out of the Heritage Foundation are telling all the talking and writing heads that Benghazi or the IRS or the AP or some Marine holding an umbrella over Nobummer's head is "worse than Watergate"! Worse than Watergate! Yeah, whatever that is.

Even normally calm collected Chardonnay swilling lushes like Peggy Noonan are saying this. Worse than Watergate (hic!).
Noonan, whose so laid back you really can't tell if it's the Glenlivet overdose or if she's on some wicked strain of medical marijuana, called it the worst Washington scandal since Watergate. Pegster apparently was sleeping it off for 8 years after her Challenger speech she wrote for Saint Ronnie because she seems to have forgotten that deal about cakes and Bibles and contras and arms to Iran her saintly boss got us into. You know, that whole Iran contra deal, where the G Gordon Liddy of the 80's, G Gordon North, took the bible and the cake to those fun loving mullahs and sold them some missiles and shit in exchange for oil cash that they turned around and gave to those Nicaraguan phonies. You know, cuz Nicaragua was a day long drive from Harlingen, Texas which is where Danny Ortega and the boys would take over America. Remember that, Peggy? Yeah, that Beefeaters destroys short and long term memory.

91% of conservatives think Benghazi is worse than Watergate. Shit, I wanna meet the 9% who don't. There's hope! According to the Public Policy poll, 55% of conservatives also think Benghazi is the worst scandal in American history! Worse than Teapot Dome? That's another question they asked. Oh yeah say conservatives! By far worse than Teabag Dorm, is it? Jesus, most Americans think Teapot Dome is where some soccer team in England plays. Why do they ask this kind of stuff? Hell, 6% of these idiots think Benghazi is in Cuba. Come on, everybody knows it's in North Korea, right?

Worse than Watergate? You betcha sez noted car thief Darrell Issa (Arsonist-Ca). Really, Darrell? Worse than that factory you burned down back in 1982 after increasing insurance coverage by 450%? You know, the factory with suspicious burn patterns? What the fuck? WHY do Californians keep electing this guy and not indicting him?

Worse than Watergate? Really, Jim Inhofe (HitsHeadALot-Ok)? Inhofe, yakking to some Limbaugh imitator called for impeachment on this "scandal" that is worse than The Pentagon Papers or the Iran Contra. Whoa there, pardner! Are you, perhaps the dumbest Senator ever until Sarah Palin snowmachines her way in, saying the Pentagon Papers was a bad thing because Nixon and his plumbers did bad stuff? Or are you saying Iran Contra was treason? Or are you just blabbering on because the global warming has turned your brain inside out? Somebody get Jim Inhofe a cold compress!

Worse than Watergate? Lindsey Graham (MediaWhore-SC) says this Benghazi thing is "Obama's Watergate". OK, Linz, I guess that's not technically "worse" than Watergate but your whole fainting dead away Southern Gentlemen bullshit is really getting old. Stay off TV for one weekend. I know you have to keep occupied on the weekends or else your uncontrollable urge to go to PT 1109 in Columbia and dance your ass off takes over but please, Lindsey, give the Sunday David Gregory handjobs a rest. His hand gets tired too.

Worse than Watergate? Well yes in a way. Back in 1973 we had Sam Ervin and Howard Baker getting to the bottom of it. Nowadays we have the dumbest bunch of clueless assholes who will never be more than a shitstain for the Capitol cleaning crew to deal with, running the show. Yeah, you're right, Nooners, this IS worse than Watergate. Pass me the Makers Mark, it's gonna be a long fuckin summer!

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