Thursday, October 11, 2012

Joe And Eddie!

Oh this conspiracy just gets better and better. Let's review.

Back in 1961 or so, a baby was born in Kenya to an anti colonialist, like the commie Founding Fathers, and some slutty white Kansan. Putting the conspiracy into full battle mode, a fake birth announcement was placed in an Hawaiian newspaper. Check.

The kid grew up in foreign lands, eating dogs and cats, attending Madrases and learning his mission from Angela Lansbury and Hillary Clinton. His mission? To destroy the United States of America. Check..

The kid , lazy as he was, was enrolled at Columbia University , didn't bother to even show up, and his fake transcripts were buried underneath the Twin Towers in a secret vault. Check.

The kid was then shoehorned into Harvard Law School, where certain conspirators gave him a job as head of the Harvard Law Review, a second rate publication your average tea party member could write. Check.

The kid was then led to Chicago, where he engaged in gay sex, organized the lazy 47% into such radical activities like voting, and was arranged a marriage to one Michelle Robinson, another lazy black who just wanted to live off the government dole and had a fake University of Chicago Law Degree. Check.

Along the way, the kid attended the marriage of one Martha Raddatz , a so called journalist, who became just another one of the co-conspirators in this plot against America. Check.

The kid was bought a seat in the Illinois State Senate, something that doesn't even draw attention, where he practiced his speaking and talking and stuff. Check.

The kid was given a shot at the United States Senate seat from Illinois, when even the patriotic Republicans cooperated in this conspiracy by nominating a nutcase black guy named Alan Keyes. The kid won. Check.

The kid was given a primo speaking spot at the 2004 Democratic Convention, held only to offer up the last piece of the puzzle, the Democratic Mittens Romney, John Kerry, as a pawn to be beaten by George Bush. Check.

The kid was told to run for President, but to make it look good, co-conspirator Hillary Clinton put up token resistance to the kid, who won the 2008 Democratic nomination. The powers that be arranged for world wide economic collapse, and a 100 year old Republican nominee with a dingbat running mate. The kid won easily. Check.

The kid ruled very moderately. But the soothsaying Republicans knew better. The kid was a Marxist, Kenyan, socialist, commie, lazy, shiftless negro and had to be stopped. A second term would be disastrous to the 1%. They would only double their net worth. Heavens to Betsy! Check.

And now, after Lord Mittens of Bainville showed the kid how it's done in a debate, the conspirators needed another plan. That plan is Martha Raddatz, sucked into the conspiracy back in 1991, who will moderate the vice conspirator debate between the loudmouth truth teller Joltin Joe Biden and Eddie Munster of Racine. Check!

AH HAHHHHHHHHHH! You just know she's going to ask Joe Biden his name, his favorite color and his quest and ask Eddie really tough questions and junk. Like please explain your masturbatory fascination with an atheist narcissist with a name like a dude. Check.

But alas, certain Republican geniuses like Sean Hannity and Sweet Jesus Joe and closet bound Matt Drudge know what's up. Hell, even Republicans of really low intelligence, like Gretchen Carlson and those two numbskulls who sits in between on Fox & Friends have it figured out.

Watch out, kid. The conspiracy is only half done. Martha Raddatz is going to bail your lame ass out tonight.

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