And now finally, that last wave of creatures making up the new cabinet of the guy who identifies with the common white man by crapping on a gold toilet and putting his fucking name on everything, Orange Mussolini. Jesus I am glad this is over. Let the hearings begin on this unqualified bunch of hacks and cronies who are replacing the swamp of qualified hacks and cronies with at least a semblance of humanity.
Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin
No thats not a misspell. It is actually his name. Kind of like Drumpf. Mnucgin, lets just call him Steve, has no experience in anything political or policy oreineted. His only qualification for this massive post is he's a Donald Drumpf toe sucker. Steve was a Goldman Sachs guy, ya know, like the Goldman Sachs that ran Ted Cruz's life and Hillary said horrible things to in a speech, oh wait, not THAT Goldman Sachs, the other Goldman Sachs, the good Goldman Sachs. Steve was also a hedge fund guy. You know, those leeches who sit around destroying people's lives as a kind of video game with real outcomes. But they make a shitload of money they could never possibly spend. Its a moral failing. These guys have no conscience, the whole economic system is a fucking game in which they win and they dont give a flying fuck who loses. Yes, the Trump ass licker is going to run the economy. Good new for you economically anxious white working class guys and gals. No taxes and no regulations on Wall Street. Yeah, Steve will get everything going again. Get ready for that 401K to explode, right in your face.
United States Secretary of Defense Geeral James "Mad Dog" Mattis
Yes sir, this whole administration is a goddamned WWE wet dream. A guy named Mad Dog to run the nation's defenses. I am convinced Drumpf picked this retired Marine Corps General only because he could yell "Mad Dog" at his crowd of rasslin fans and get huge cheers. "“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.” Excuse me? I know he's a Marine and Marines are genetically nuts, tough as all hell, but crazy. Yeah you need Marines, but you really don't need them in charge of anything other than rampaging. The Defense Secretary is by its very name alone, in charge of DEFENSE. Mad Dog (yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy) is kind of a Secretary of Offense. “I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all.” Ohhhh kayyyyyy then. This isnt Vince McMahon in some fake bullshit pay per view event (oh by the way its all fake, Drumpf fans) getting his creepy head shaved making goofy faces at our Fraud Elect, this is reality. You do realize this, right? To all White economically anxious voters I say get your kids ready cuz they are all gonna die to make Steve (see above) and his buddies even richer.
Attorney General of the United States Jefferson Beauregard Sessions
Good lord, where do even begin with this guy? Lets forget about the hearsay about him calling black guys "Boy" and him not thinking the Klan was all that bad until he found out some of them smoked the wacky weed while they were out burnin their crosses. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions has a record as an attorney and a federal prosecutor and as a a United States Senator from Alabama. That record is abysmal. Of course it is cuz his name is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions. A true Southern redneck still living in the 60's, the 1860's. Sessions has voted to ban flag burning and put it into the Constitution. He has voted to keep the icky gays from getting hitched and putting a ban on the into the Constitution to keep that from happening. About the only thing he doesnt like about the Constitution is the crap already in there. Ya know, like voting and drinking alcohol and voting and all that liberty shit the commies are always screamin about. Sessions called the Voting Rights Act of 1965 a “piece of intrusive legislation”. Goddamned Yankees comin down there and tellin the Jesus lovers what they gotta do. He once prosecuted civil rights workers for registering black folks to vote. He lost. He voted against lifting the ban on the icky gays in the military, he voted against the Violence Against Women Act , he hates the marijuana smokers and characterizes them a "not good people" after which I assume he threw down a couple of mint juleps. In other words, this guy is just another prick. Great huh? The top law enforcement official in the land has no fucking idea its 2016.
United States Secretary of State Rex Tillerson
He's the head of Exxon Mobil. A corporation that has its own foreign policy of bribing horrific dictators in order to win rich oil contracts. In other words, this soulless creep will destroy the lives of many in order to line his own pockets. Sometimes in direct conflict with official United State Foreign policy which of course to guys like this is run by a bunch of pussies. Tillerson may be the only Drumpf boot licker more in Putin's pocket than Drumpf himself. Tillerson is not only good buds with ex KGB Putin he is also BFF's with Igor Sechin, the head of the state run Russian oil company. Igor Sechin you ask? With a name like that of course he's ex KGB. Basically its the fact Tillerson has no interest in any nation on earth that doesnt sit on a lake of oil that should bother everyone . He knows nothing of India-Pakistan. He knows nothing of Israel-Palestine. He knows nothing of anything. You think this asshole cares about world peace? Fuck no. Tillerson has his head so far up Putin's ass that Drumpf himself may not be aable to get in himself. Tillerson has also sued to keep fracking out of his own back yard.He wants it in your backyard. Tillerson owns a shell oil company in cahoots with the Russians in the Bahamas. Oh fuck it. Just launch the missiles now.
White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer
Spicer is the typical press secretary. He is a fucking liar. The only difference between the Democratic liars and Spicer is Spicer also hates the very press he is there to speak with. So when Spicer lies, he will do it with a sneer. When the First Escort Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama in her rambling speech at the Republican Convention Spicer was right there to defend Mrs. Drumpf. Welll uhhh Michelle plagiarized My Little Pony. But most important of all, Spicer is one of those pious asshole Catholics who leave that dirt on their foreheads all fucking day on Ash Wednesday to show how much better they are than you. Screw off Sean. You aint better than anybody. You prove that daily.
and finally........
Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway
If Spicer is a professional liar, Kellyanne Conway, a sort of blonde skeletor, is the queen of bullshit. If anyone is not sick of this smiling cobra I dont know who they are. The woman cannot answer a question straight on if her gray roots depended on it. Conway, a pollster of some repute, once spent the early part of 2016 saying that the vulgar Donald Drumpf was a creep who offended everyone. Then of course she sold her soul and became Drumpf's point woman to cuddle the dummies and white supremacists who make up Drumpf's base. Oh that and those economically anxious white folks who voted for the so called billionaire who has their best interests at heart. Conway to them is the 7th grade teacher who tells them what to do, with a gigantic smile on her face as she suppresses her absolute hatred of them. Conway is truly the empty vessel of Satan that Drumpf can never be. A spitting cobra of a woman, Conway is the face of this administration. A smiling liar with a nun's demeanor. You have to have done time in 1960's Catholic grade school to know what fear this horrible woman brings out of our deep sleeping repressed brains. She is truly evil.
The Tweeter Elect has surrounded himself with some of the most unqualified self centered morons this country has ever seen. And thats not even including his creepy sons, Uday and Kusay Drumpf.
We need help. Lots of help. If there was a God, which with this election I know there isnt. I'd scream out for help. Oh what the hell. HELP US OH LORD.
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