Sunday, December 18, 2016
Il Douche' Wave 3!
Its getting so close. The takeover of the longest running democracy in world history by a fascist puppet of a shirtless Russian despot. Nice going, hillbillies.
His cabinet gets worse and worse with every pick though it seems impossible at some point. But the thrice married vulgarian manages. Onward.
Office of Management and Budget Mick Mulvaney
This hick from South Carolina is not only a climate denier (arent they all?) but also denies that defaulting on the debt ceiling is no bigley deal. Mulvaney, a member of the 2nd worst body of politicians on earth, the United State House of Representatives, also says hey who knows what will happen when the debt ceiling is not extended. Sound like anybody? Dont get into a car with this idiot or he may say hey I dont know what will happen if I drive this car off a cliff. A member of the "Freedom Caucus", a group of scavenging raccoons that includes anarchists like Rep Steve King (Evil-Ia), Mulvaney helped bring the country to brink of hell back in 2011 when he said that he would gladly vote the default on the national debt and that he didnt even know what the word "catastrophic" means. Catastrophic is whenever Mick Mulvaney is being asked a question.
Secretary of Energy Rick Perry
What.............the...........Fuck......The last two Secretaries of Energy ave been nuclear physicists. Trump picks a Texas Dancing With The Stars loser cuz he has lots of energy or something. Perry ran for President twice to disastrous results. Remember "oops"? Then in 2016 he put on a pair of glasses to look smart and it went even worse. Christ, even the Kook Elect said putting glasses on doesnt make you more intelligent. Trump demanded Perry take an IQ test before being allowed into the Republican debates. Perry sits on a board directly associated with that disgusting Dakota Pipeline so in true Profiteer Elect fashion, Perry stands to gain from the destruction of sacred Sioux land. Perry is so dumb, he really needs to be told to breathe. He thinks Jaurez if the most dangerous city in America, he thinks you should teach creationism alongside evolution, he thinks the BP oil spill was an act of God, he thinks "Solyndra" is a country, and remember that ranch name? Look, its just a fact,and not a post truth "fact", Rick Perry is a moron. And he will be in charge of nukes.
Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao
She married human turtle hybrid Mitch McConnell. What else do you need to know? She used to be Secretary of Labor under that now not so bad George W Bush guy. So at least she's got some sort of experience fucking over the little guy. Besides, it's a gift. Mitch McConnell keeps Russian hacking under wraps, cuz its always party over country with reptile human hybrids and the wifey gets a cabinet position. Easy Peasy, y'all. So the next time you are on a newly deregulated flight, just remember that your pilot may be hammered, the screws are loose, or the wing looked fine from the corporate office. Deregulation equals booming business right? Who cares if a trucker drives 36 hours straight right? Deregulation means profits.. Fuck your safety.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben Carson
Hey he's black right? He must have lived in an urban house at one point? Ben Carson, who originally said he had no experience in government so didnt want a Cabinet Position is Trump's only black male acquaintance. I mean come on, Omarosa is a broad so she's out. Hey what'd I say? Dummy! Carson, when he's not sleepy, is just a black version of Rick Perry. Oh yeah he is by all accounts a brilliant brain surgeon, which makes Perry a prime candidate, but outside of fucking around with people's noggins, he doesnt know much else. Carson once claimed to have tried to kill a guy which led to the sleep deprived or possibly loaded up on speed Amphetamine Abuser Elect to make a fool of himself as usual. Carson running HUD is like Trump running a country. Oh shit. I forgot. Carson thinks the pyramids were giant grain silos, would charge at an active shooter presumably with a crowd of first graders, thinks most Americans are stupid, thinks Obamacare is worse than 9/11, and the favorite black guy of millions of racists. As long as he doesnt get too close.
Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Price
Price is congresscritter from Newt Gingrich's old district, 'Nuff said? Price is a walking talking knuckle dragger. He is against everything. Gun background checks. Abortion, Gay rights, the environment, NPR, PBS, Planned Parenthood, Health Insurance, Medicare, Social Security, Women, birth control, gun research, basically he's against Health and Human Services. Oh he is For stuff. Pre-existing condition clauses in private insurance. Women birthin babies, Gays staying in the closet, repealing Obamacare and replacing it with too fucking bad, HIV, guns and more guns, AAPS. Oh yeah the AAPS....these are those cretins run by dead Phyllis Schlafy's even more evil spawn. It's immoral for doctors to participate in Medicare or Medicaid. Tobacco taxes are a burden to health care, electronic medical records are another Gubmint plot to control your lives and Obama "hypnotized" voters into electing him. Tom Price, the proposed HHS head dude, is a believer in this nonsense. We are so fucked. Unless you are a white man, an insurance company, or dumb as hell.
United States Secretary of Labor Andrew Puzder
Andy Puzder is a Hardee's clerk with a Trump button on instead of his name tag. Puzder is a vulgar buffoon much like the Baboon Elect. Puzder, who will oversee a department set up to protect workers, doesnt even like workers. He likes robots cuz they dont take vacations, call in sick and always up sell. Ya want fries with that? Puzder thinks minimum wage is a burden to his corporate profits. He thinks workers turn down raises because it would mean an end to their "Free government stuff". Basically Puzder is a putz who hates people beneath him on the economic totem pole which is most everybody. Unless of course you are a hot babe. Preferably one he can beat up when she gets out of line. Puzder is the "genius" behind the infamous Carls Jr and Hardees ads where hot babes in bikinis slither around on a car eating his shitty hamburgers. Puzder, exploiter of the poor, and alleged domestic abuser. He truly is a drive thru Trump.
Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross
Wilbur Ross is a vulture capitalist. A guy who buys companies in trouble to sell off their assets and make himself even more money. He's a 79 year old Mitt Romney in other words. Oh yes, Ross is soft spoken and seems to be a kindly old man but he IS Mister Potter. He owned the company that was in charge of the Sago Mine which of course when it exploded, cost 12 miners their lives. Now I'm sure all 12 miners relatives voted for the Dirty Energy Guy Elect cuz being killed in a coal mine is every little West Virginia boy's dream but come on now, Ross was in charge that fateful day. Does anyone care? Hell no, change is bad. Where's my buggy whip? Ross's job is to promote American business. Ya know, like guns, bombs and shit that explodes, our greatest export. You think Ross will help keep other types of jobs here? LOL.
Secretary of Interior Ryan Zinke
I guess we should all be glad that the Land Rapist Elect didnt pick the Dumbass of the North or an earthquake advocate like this asshole and instead picked a Montana congressman who lives in denial of most facts but really has no current power. Ryan Zinke is truly a neanderthal. He once called Hillary the "anti-Christ". Zinke was a Navy Seal which means he is one tough son of a bitch but he also seems to have a bone to pick with Ovary-Americans. He doesnt think much of equal pay for chicks, doesnt think much of babes in combat, and didnt withdraw support from the Pussy Grabber Elect after that bus trip recording came out. But how about Zinke on the environment? Zinke is rumored to have been the choice of well know animal murderer Donnie Trump Junior, who wants to keep his land open so he can murder more animals. So I guess if you need a positive, well there ya go. So Donnie Junior can keep on killing, maybe some public land may be preserved from oil drilling and fracking. I am not holding my breath and if THAT is the best thing I can come up with we truly are fucked.
Thats it for now.........I need to go outside in the minus 25 degree wind chill and holler "wheres yer global warmin now?"........